Thrilling story with a plot that kept me turning the pages, really well written with great characters. Highly recommend to everyone who is a fan of this genre.

Jessica Sloan’s mother has just died of cancer. She spent the past several years caring for her mother and now it’s time to move on.
She has never known her father and has no other family. She decides to move into a new apartment and enrol into college. But when the college calls and tells her that her social security number has raised a red flag her life as she knew it starts to crumble even more. Is she really Jessie Sloane or is she somebody else.? I didnt like it as much as her other books but still a good read.

This book has a premise that just hooks you from the outset and while I certainly found the book very readable, I was 100% into the story as a whole. Definitely think there is an audience out there for this as the slow-burning suspense is the best part of the story.

ARC kindly received via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Interesting read and characters.

I have been looking forward to reading Marys book having heard so many good reviews. I loved how i though i knew what was going to happen but Mary took me to another place. It keeps you on your toes as it changes characters between Jessica and Eden.

For most of this book I was willing Jessie to just go to sleep already! Her insistence that sleep eluded her annoyed me no end, but as the story unfolded, secrets were revealed and it all began to make sense. The final twist surprised me but left me with an unsatisfactory feeling of being slightly let down. All in all I did enjoy it but it’s not likely one that I will read again.

Book blurb…
A woman is plunged into a bizarre case of stolen identity in this ambitious and riveting thriller by the blockbuster bestselling author of The Good Girl, Mary Kubica
Jessie Sloane is on the path to rebuilding her life after years of caring for her ailing mother. She rents a new apartment and applies for college. But when the college informs her that her social security number has raised a red flag, Jessie discovers a shocking detail that forces her to question everything she’s ever known.
Finding herself suddenly at the centre of a bizarre mystery, Jessie tumbles down a rabbit hole, which is only exacerbated by a relentless lack of sleep. As days pass and the insomnia worsens, it plays with Jessie’s mind. Her judgment is blurred, her thoughts hampered by fatigue. Jessie begins to see things until she can no longer tell the difference between what’s real and what she’s only imagined.
Meanwhile, twenty years earlier and two hundred and fifty miles away, another woman’s split-second decision may hold the key to Jessie’s secret past. Is Jessie really who she thinks she is? Has her whole life been a lie? The truth will shock her to her core…if she lives long enough to discover it.

My Thoughts…

This is such and interesting plot and written in such a way I cannot, without fear of spoiler, discuss the plot.
You might stop and question certain aspects but keep reading and you will be rewarded.

As a massive fan of Mary Kubica, I was extremely excited to read this book. The writing is her usual thrilling and captivating style that had me desperately wanting to finish it all in one go. I absolutely adore her style and how she builds her stories, usually with a completely unexpected twist at the end. The twist in this story however frustrated me and I found it to be a bit of a let down in regards to how amazing the rest of the book was. I found myself completely absorbed in the story up until that moment. I did enjoy the book and I will recommend it, perhaps with a warning about the end.

This novel is about two women, Eden in the late 1990’s and Jessie in the present time. It is set in mostly Chicago in the present time. Jessie, a young woman whose mother is dying. After her mother’s death Jessie tries to enroll in a collage course but is told the Id she is using is the Id for someone who has died.
Jessie struggles to find out who she is. She can’t find her birth certificate or any papers that prove her identity. Jessie sells her mother’s house and finds somewhere else to live, all the while suffering from sleep deprivation.
There are flashbacks to the late 1990’s to Eden, another young woman who is desperate to become a mother.
I loved the characters in this novel and how they interacted with others. I loved the ending.

Thank you Mary Kubica and Netgalley for a copy of this title.
First of all let me say that this is the first Mary Kubica book I have read and unfortunately it may be the last. I found it hard to stay long in this book as it seemed to meander around in circles with a fair bit of waffle repeated frequently. I certainly would not label it a "thriller" as it was publicised. There are so many good gripping stories written each year and I didn't feel this was one.

3.5 stars rounded up.

Having read and particularly enjoyed 2 of Mary Kubica's previous titles I was intrigued by the sound of this one and couldn't wait to start it.      Once started I found I didn't want to put it down.    I was making notes and theorising left, right and centre.    Actually I was quite chuffed with myself as I pieced together some parts early.     I have little doubt this was a sneaky plan on the authors part because from here on in I was guessing and guessing again but was not remotely close.      So much for my early sleuthing - I could not force the puzzle pieces together and nothing was at all what I expected.

The story is told from two female voices - Jessie and Eden.    

Jessie is young and has been caring for her mother for several years.  She's massively sleep deprived to the point of endangering her own health.   Not only is she struggling to deal with her grief but she begins to question everything she's ever known or believed to be true about who she is after learning of a redflag against her name.         This mystery about her true identity is baffling and she becomes desperate for answers about who she really is.   

Eden's story is told from a time some twenty years earlier.  Hers is a love story brought undone by her and husband Aaron's desire to start a family.    Their early anticipation of parenthood turned to disappointment as their every effort was unsuccessful.      Whereas Aaron was eventually able to accept that life had other plans for them, Eden could not.   She became obsessed with the desperate need to be a mum,  fixated on other people's children, jealous and angry about parents who dared to complain about their children.  Ultimately the marriage broke down....but just where would Eden draw the line at becoming a mother.

How the two threads came together was the crux of the story.   Though the ending was definitely not what I expected, and was not exactly a huge ahhaaa moment,  it was an ending that worked okay for me.    It may not be to everone's liking but there's one way to find out...grab a copy and give it a try.

My thanks to the author, Harlequin Australia and NetGalley for the opportunity of reading this digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

‘I don’t have to see myself to know what I look like.’

Jessie Sloane’s mother Eden is dying. Jessie has been focussed on caring for Eden for some time and has put her own life on hold to do so. She spends sleepless nights with her mother in hospital: too afraid to sleep in case her mother dies while she is asleep. After her mother dies, Jessie starts to rebuild her life.

‘But Mom told me to find myself, and that’s what I’m trying to do. To get into college, to make something of myself.’

She knows that she cannot bear to live in the house she shared with her mother, so she rents a new apartment and applies for college. But there’s a problem with her social security number, and this causes Jessie to question everything that she thought she knew about herself, her mother and her past.

At the same time as we are travelling with Jessie as she tries to find out the truth, we are reading Eden’s story. Eden, we learn, had great difficulty in becoming pregnant. Did she have a child? Or did Jessie belong to someone else?

Jessie is becoming more and more sleep deprived. It’s not entirely clear where the boundary is between hallucination and reality. Twenty years earlier, in parallel, Eden is becoming more and more desperate for a child. Eden is obsessed. After expensive, failed fertility procedures Eden’s marriage to Aaron breaks down.

I was totally caught up in the story at this stage. Would Jessie find out who she really was? Had Eden taken someone else’s baby? I was worried for Jessie, concerned for Eden and unable to put the book down.

And then, close to the end of the book, there was a twist. Perhaps I should have seen it coming (there are a few clues that I now recognise in retrospect), but I didn’t, and I am bitterly disappointed. Sigh. Why am I disappointed? It’s a work of fiction after all, and the author can construct the story any way she chooses. True, and I’m very well aware of the power of hallucination, of the ability of a distressed and disturbed mind to create its own reality. But I’m not convinced that one person’s hallucination can intersect so neatly with another person’s reality twenty years earlier. Cryptic I know, but I don’t want to spoil the story for others. Up until the twist, it was a solid four star read for me. I’m reluctant to recommend it because of the ending, but other readers may be less critical than I am.

Note: My thanks to NetGalley and Harlequin Australia for providing me with a free electronic copy of this book for review purposes.

Jennifer Cameron-Smith

I've not read many of Mary Kubica's novels, which is a tad weird as they always sound like they'd be my reading bread-and-butter - genre-wise.

I'm very glad I made the last minute decision to download a review copy of this book though, as I was amazed (again, I'm not sure why!) at how much I enjoyed it.

I didn't make many notes reading this book. I dove on in and powered through it.... I did however worry for a while that it was all too obvious. "Surely not?" I asked myself (cos I was alone in the bath where I was reading!), worrying it'd all be anticlimactic.

But for a long time it seems as if we know EXACTLY where the book is heading.

Most of it unfolds from Jessie's point of view. And she's struggling. She's been beside her mother's deathbed (eek, horrible word but kinda true here) for months, weeks and now through some very intense days. She's not slept and starts imagining all sorts of weird and wonderful things. Though mostly weird.

And we're along for the ride as her visions, thoughts and actions become more and more unpredictable. It's hard cos we grow to like Jessie and we really don't want things to end badly for her, but it seems kinda inevitable.

And then we're in the head of Eden back in the 1990s - newly married and besotted with her husband. I found their relationship a little weird as Eden seems overly dependent on Aaron. She's worked in the past but now they've moved they're planning to start a family, so Eden's just waiting to get pregnant...  and to say that she becomes preoccupied with it is an understatement.

Other than seemingly-obvious linkages Eden and Jessie kinda mirror each other (decades apart) as their behaviour disintegrates. They're both conscious of it however: Eden trying to distract herself from her obsession with becoming pregnant and unhealthy coping mechanisms; and Jessie understanding that her thoughts are being influenced by her lack of sleep.... and comparing the extent of her insomnia to those who've died from a lack of sleep (aka fatal familial insomnia) in the past.

I could actually relate to this book on a number of levels. Kubica includes a lot of information about patients nearing death... their faux rallying (terminal lucidity) and their breathing at the end (Cheyne-Stokes respiration); and I remembered my father's last days in palliative care. He didn't wake for the last week and sadly there was no last hurrah, instead my brother, mother and I held our own breaths as my father's stopped again and again over the last days of his life.

And then there's the frustration of trying to get pregnant. Something seemingly easy for most and many take for granted, isn't an option for others and seeing kids or pregnant women can become a sadistic taunt.

What I actually loved most about this book is the direction Kubica ends up taking us. It wasn't what I expected at all. I'd been weighing up possible outcomes in my little mind, as Jessie seemingly starts losing hers - counting down the number of days she can possibly survive without sleep... and while she's waiting to die, her increasingly disturbed behaviour.

There's a strong theme of death throughout the book (obviously, you might think) but, it's not just Jessie's mother. The discovery of the death certificate in her name starts Jessie on an increasingly morbid pattern of thinking. What freaks her out the most, she says, "is the implication that I'm already dead." And of course the potential of that statement along with events and people entering Jessie's life (slightly contrived and kinda fortuitous and ill-timed all at once) almost had my head exploding.

And then... something I really didn't see coming. (And I loved it!)

What a complicated review this one is going to be. The novel started as a gripping and deeply moving domestic drama, all the hallmarks of an ‘un-put-downable’ read firmly in place. Then, in the last thirty odd pages, it all ended up going pear shaped as the author inserted a twist that entirely deflated the power of the story preceding it. If I was to rate this novel on the story prior to the ending, it would be a solid 4 stars. Taking the ending into consideration, it plummets to 1 star. Given this conundrum, I'm going to review the story in two parts: the majority of the novel and why it appealed to me so much, followed by the twist and why I feel this was a major plot mistake. Be assured, when I get to discussing the ending, I'll insert a warning to save spoilers.

Let's begin with Jessie. When we meet her at the beginning of this novel, she's in the hospital with her mother, Eden, who is in the last stages of her battle with cancer. Jessie is burning the candle at both ends, keeping herself awake in order to not miss any of her mother's last moments. This pattern of self abuse spills over into her grief, and after Jessie's mum dies, she remains awake, her physical and mental health deteriorating rapidly as we witness her spiral into the effects of having no sleep. In a bid to get on with her life, which has been on pause for years since her mother's initial cancer diagnosis, Jessie applies to college, but there is an issue with her application. Her social security number in is invalid, it belongs to a dead child, and with no family or friends to call on, no paperwork in existence in the house to verify her identity, Jessie begins to investigate what's going on and ends up having to face the notion that she is not who she thought she was, and nor was her mother. She begins to question everything about herself, examines her memories for nuances and clues as to who she might be and where she might have come from.

I found this storyline to be so absorbing, completely plausible, and desperately sad. As Jessie continues to not sleep, her reliability as a narrator becomes flimsy, as fatigue induced hallucinations begin to take effect and the physical symptoms start to take their toll. We are led to believe that Jessie has been kidnapped by her mother, something that angered me, as I thought of Eden stealing Jessie as a child and then knowingly withholding the truth of Jessie's identity from her even as she was dying. Despite Jessie's unreliability, I had so much empathy for her. Jessie’s sections were also very atmospheric, pulling you right down into her mindset:
“As I climb the lopsided steps, I feel the weight of fatigue bearing down on me. Fatigue from physical exertion and fatigue from lack of sleep. I lie down on the mattress, staring at my shaky hands before my eyes. There's an anaemic quality to them. Blanched and mealy, the skin at their edges disappearing somehow, evanescing, like a loose thread being tugged from the hem of a shirt, the whole thing unravelling, coming apart at the seams. That's me. Coming apart at the seams. Little by little, I'm disappearing.
I look again at my hands, and this time they are fine. Intact.
But still shaking.”
I felt a real connection to Jessie's story, the drama of it unfolding with authenticity that was gripping and intensely discomforting. Less of a psychological thriller and more of a domestic drama, I was really hard pressed to put this novel down.

Moving onto Eden, whose backstory punctuates Jessie's current one. This is a very sad story, all too familiar in one sense, of a couple with no success at falling pregnant and then later, even less success at maintaining a pregnancy. We witness Eden's growing desperation, her increasingly alarming obsession with motherhood, the many ways in which she begins to isolate herself, the resentment she harbours towards her friend who has several children but is not as enthralled with motherhood as what Eden believes she should be. And then there's the destruction upon her marriage, which was awful to witness. Eden's mental stability begins to waver, and her actions increasingly steer towards a path that we have already set her upon, based on Jessie's story.
“Some women were not meant to be mothers.
And some who were, some who would make the very best mothers, were refused the right.
It didn't seem fair.
Oh, what a good mother I would be, if only the universe would let me.”
I didn't always like Eden, but again, my well of empathy was spilling over for her. She needed help, so desperately, but instead isolated herself further. Her self awareness of just how unhinged she had become was insightful and I think it really helped me stay connected to Eden for the duration of her story, which was at its base, desperately sad. Breathtakingly so.

The novel, with both of these stories weaving in and out, is quite fast paced. I had a sense of knowing where everything was heading, with just a few of the essential details yet to be revealed. And I was quite happy with this, I felt it had been cleverly done and there were so many elements that had been put into place to ensure the plausibility of the plot and the emotional authenticity of the characters. This was very much a novel I could see translating to the big screen as a gripping movie with strong emotional pull. And then we get to the twist. I’m drawing a line now, in this review, and if you choose to read on, it’s with the full knowledge that I am next discussing the ending, and the reason why I feel it let the preceding story down in such an epic way.

NB: the remainder of this review appears on my blog at www.theresasmithwrites.com and includes a spoiler about the ending. Any mention of the ending will be contained to my blog and will not be included in my review posted to Goodreads.

Thanks is extended to HarperCollins Publishers via NetGalley for providing me with a copy of When The Lights Go Out for review.

This is only my 2nd book from Kubica and I have to say that I really enjoyed the mystery she has set in this book.

The main character - Jessie Sloane is a young woman who has cared for her dying mother for a long time. With only the two of them, over the years Jessie's mother has been secretive as to the identity of her father and that part of her life. But before she dies, her mother tells her to find herself and take a new path in her life.
Jessie sets in motion plans to move on with her life, enrolling in college, which opens up something that she wasn't expecting. Her identity is at question, with her social security number belonging to a long dead 3 year old child called Jess.
The story goes on a two story narrative. With one side coming from the mother's journal from the early 1990's, as well as Jessie's story.

Jessie is understandably shocked by her identity mystery, and she is determined to find out answers to all the questions she has about her life.

There are some twists and back and forth in this book, as it is dealing with a the death of a parent, loss of identity and paranoia about who Jessie really is. The book is a fantastic read, but felt I needed to keep myself on track when switching between the two different narratives.

A recommended good read if you love a mystery. Thankyou for my advanced copy to review.

Loved it. Had never read this author before but will certaintly be reading more. Could not put it down.

Oh my goodness.... where do I start? I have been a fan of Mary Kubica's for a while, enjoying all of her previous books. I was so excited to be given the chance to read her new book and I devoured it in an afternoon... seriously, I could not put it down.

Jessie Sloane has always had her mum by her side. When she was diagnosed with cancer she gave up her life to caring for her. Now the cancer has beaten her and Jessie is all alone. She has never known her father and has no other family. She decides to move into a new apartment and enrol into college. But when the college calls and tells her that her social security number has raised a red flag her life as she knew it starts to crumble even more. Is she really Jessie Sloane or is she somebody else.? The story is told in alternative chapters between Jessie and her mother and we learn about both characters and their lives.

This fantastic book has an ending that you will not believe.. really it does. You will definitely not see this one coming. Now you have to read out to find out what it is!!!

Thanks to Harlequin Australia. HQ Fiction and NetGalley for the advanced copy of this book to read. All opinions are my own and are in no way biased

My Third Mary Kubica book and it did not disappoint. The story is told chapter by chapter by Jessie and her mum Eden. Jessica's mum dies and she starts discovering things aren't quite at they seem in relation to her childhood. Is her mum really her birth mother or was she kidnapped as a little girl? Eden was dying to have a child of her own and after her miscarriage she started watching a little 3 year old every time she left her ballet class. Is this little girl now Jessica?? This book is written in Mary's captivating style, it kept me up reading late into the night to get to the bottom of who Jessica really is. Thanks so much #netgalley for giving me the chance to read this book prior to it's release. #marykubica #whenthelightsgoout #goodreads #tea_sipping_bookworm #NickiKendall

DNF@ 28%

I'm so disappointed in this. I was so excited to read Mary Kubica's newest novel, having read two of her previous ones and loving them,

I felt that this one was too slow moving (just from the 28% that I read), and at 28% the only real thing we'd learned is what's in the synopsis - a girl is forced to question her identity. I was hoping this would be a bit faster moving, and it might be the further you get into it, but I didn't want to keep reading something I wasn't enjoying on a maybe.

I'll continue to read Kubica's work though. Maybe this one was just a dud for me.