Cover Image: The Elephant in the Room

The Elephant in the Room

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Member Reviews

The Elephant in the Room is a fantastic memoir about the way food is treated by so many and so interconnected with our lives and emotions. Tomlinson gives a honest portrait of what it's like to be large and the struggle and stigma associated with, as well as the difficulty making changes when the root causes can upset traditions and go against the way so many are raised. Very insightful and enlightening memoir.

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A from-the-heart, first-hand account of what it is like to be a fat person.

Writer and podcaster Tomlinson topped out at an unhealthy 460 pounds. After numerous attempts to lose weight, Tommy commits to change his approach to a slow and steady one. He expertly weaves together his personal story, confronting issues and exposing vulnerability. His determination and accomplishment along this insightful and arduous journey are inspiring for any reader, not just one looking for the right motivation to lose weight.

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Tommy Tomlinson comes to terms with being both a good person, and a liar. He's been lying to his friends, his family, his wife, and most of all himself, about his food addiction, and his weight. For the first time, in this book, he admits to the actual number on the scale, how he reached it and why he thinks he landed there. This is not a woe is me it's everyone else's fault kind of story. Nor is it a follow me and I'll teach you to drop 50 pounds a month manual. It's an honest and heart felt memoir of growing up big, in a family where food was used to celebrate triumphs as much as it was to console and soothe loss. Anyone who has ever struggled with their weight or is still struggling now can relate to this, and anyone who has ever looked at larger people and wondered how they let themselves get so big could benefit from this read.

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The Elephant in the Room is an excellent memoir, chronicling Tommy Tomlinson's steady battle against the lifelong habits that kept his weight at 400 plus pounds. There are times it is painful enough to bring you to tears, and there are as many moments of gladness. Some of the overwhelming, overweight statistics from the last 15 or 20 years are enough to make you want to sew your lips shut, but there is hope for all of us. If Tomlinson can do it, so too can we all.

I received a free electronic copy of this memoir from Netgalley, Tommy Tomlinson, and Simon Schuster. Thank you all for sharing your hard work with me.

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I liked this, but it was a little too much documentary and memoir. The premise was the weight of the author, I was expecting more about how this common situation affects us throughout life. Again, it was a good read, but if you hadn’t read the title, and had to sum up the theme, I don’t know if his main theme was dominant enough.

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I just enjoyed this book cover to cover. An honest look at one's life and and where one is at currently and then working on making the change that is most important to you and to your loved ones. I could not relate to the binge eating that Tomlinson did but I could fully understand the way he was treated by others, particularly those in the medical profession. A very good book, a hard look into choices, and delightful all the way through. A memoir about making changes in your life and a good look at health. This book is an important read for all who need to make changes.

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Not bad, but I was expecting more from The Elephant in the Room.
Although I appreciated his honesty, I was hoping that the author would provide the reader with a more in-depth analysis of the social and cultural influences on obesity and not only with monotonous stories about his eating habits.

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Do you like to switch up the genres you read? I thoroughly enjoy a memoir, maybe a light fun novel, a deep intense thriller, a little true crime and a couple of historical fiction books, then I start all over again. This memoir, The Elephant in the Room by Tommy Tomlinson is the next memoir on my list. I love reading people’s experiences and getting to know the lives of others.

This one is getting awesome reviews and I cannot wait to settle down and dig in!

What you need to know:

When he was almost fifty years old, Tommy Tomlinson weighed an astonishing—and dangerous—460 pounds, at risk for heart disease, diabetes, and stroke, unable to climb a flight of stairs without having to catch his breath, or travel on an airplane without buying two seats. Raised in a family that loved food, he had been aware of the problem for years, seeing doctors and trying diets from the time he was a preteen. But nothing worked, and every time he tried to make a change, it didn’t go the way he planned—in fact, he wasn’t sure that he really wanted to change.

He was only one of millions of Americans struggling with weight, body image, and a relationship with food that puts them at major risk. Intimate and insightful, The Elephant in the Room is Tomlinson’s chronicle of meeting those people, taking the first steps towards health, and trying to understand how, as a nation, we got to this point. From buying a FitBit and setting an exercise goal to contemplating the Heart Attack Grill, America’s “capital of food porn,” and modifying his own diet, Tomlinson brings us along on an unforgettable journey of self-discovery that is a candid and sometimes brutal look at the everyday experience of being constantly aware of your size. Over the course of the book, he confronts these issues head on and chronicles the practical steps he has to take—big and small—to lose weight by the end.



Most people have a complicated relationship with eating. This book explores the themes closely related to the topic of food; addiction, weight, health, self-esteem. Incredibly relatable, its a must read for those who enjoy memoirs. Due out on January 15, 2019

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Thank you NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

FINALLY! A book that is brutally honest about being obese and the battle that comes with it. Tomlinson knows he is slowly killing himself, he knows he needs to become healthy and he has already lost his sister to obesitity, but he can't stop.

Tomlinson nails the daily struggle and nails it with humor and a candid honesty and in a way that is true to what many people go through. Food Addicition is real and its not always something that people have control over. His writing really holds the readers attention and can make it easy to understand where he is coming from.

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First, I want to thank Tommy Tomlinson, Simon and Schuster and NetGalley for providing me with this book.
so I may bring you this review.

Tommy Tomlinson’s The Elephant in the Room One Man’s Quest to Get Smaller in Growing America was a book I was very interested in reading. In many ways I could relate to his story about being that 460lbs, having self-esteem issues, health issues, and using food as a drug. Because that was me at 303lbs until I got a handle on my weight issues and lost a total of 193lbs.

I think Tommy is very brave to be writing this book and putting how much he weighs out there for the world to see is very courageous! That is probably very difficult to admit emotionally and verbally. It is not something one is proud of admitting. According to him in the book an average male weighs 195lbs. Plus, admitting what medical problems comes with being that size. The Colonoscopy situation would have mortified me.
When I agreed to read this book I thought it would be more on Tommy’s weight loss journey and how he wanted to change his life. What I got was way more than that. I got to know what kind of life he lived with his family, how he met his lovely wife, the medical issues he was faced with due to his morbid obesity, how he dealt with his body image, and how he used food as a drug. You got to hear how being obese effects someone emotionally, mentally and physically. Everyone is quick to judge a book by its cover but you must look deeper.
Christmas time is coming and I specifically want to acknowledge the loss of his sister Brenda Williams. Tommy, you have my sincere condolences on the passing of your sister on Christmas Eve. She had the best laugh. She had a husband and three kids that she loved. Unfortunately, she weighed over 200lbs that isolated her and eventually lead to her death.

He describes his body when he looks into a mirror naked vividly with a not so nice picture. I can remember what that felt like and being disgusted with my body and how it got that far. Wondering why did I let it get that far.

What I found fascinating was his on-going career in journalism. The stories he shares in this book are priceless of his career. He has worked with some amazing companies.

Tommy tells some fascinating stories of his past and growing up husky. Some sound all too familiar for me and I just want to give him a hug.

He mentions he is doing the Weight Watchers plan. I have tried it before and chuckle when he goes into details about the lovely support group/weigh in meetups. Yes, the lead members are WAY too perky!!

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The Elephant in the Room by Tommy Tomlinson

A story told with grace, humor and great insight, you will laugh and empathize with this well known journalist as he takes you through his life of obesity.

This five star book is a very frank journey of what it is like to be fat your entire life. Yes, Tomlinson says fat without euphemisms; not plump, not overweight, but fat. He hides nothing as he bares his soul telling the reader of his life as a fat boy to a very fat man.

The author describes the things he did not get to do because he was fat, the reasons he and others stay fat so long, and his attempts to overcome his food addiction.

Whether you, the reader, are fat or thin, you’ll be much less judgmental and have more understanding of this delicate issue after reading The Elephant in the Room.

My thanks to #Simon & Schuster and #NetGalley for a complimentary copy of this title for review.

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This was a great little book, especially for those of us who could, well, lose a little weight (did I put that gently enough?). Tomlinson's honesty was refreshing and actually leads the reader into not only wanting to lose weight themselves but wanting to cheer him on in his efforts. Good luck to him and all readers of this book.

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Tommy Tomlinson is a large man. In this memoir he writes eloquently about his upbringing, his appetite and how his love of food has defined his life. The most heartbreaking part is how his weight has affected his relationship with his wife and limited his opportunities. The story is told over the course of a year where he decides to start making healthier choices. Each month he logs his weight and shares his story.

As someone who has also struggled with their weight I could relate to many of his stories. I too have felt judged, teased and turned down opportunities because of my size. It has followed me my whole life and this book is inspirational in showing that it is never too late and no step is too small to make improvements.

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Tommy writes a pretty good book.
I don't know that this would be the book to read if you are looking for a diet plan because there is no plan in this book. However he does lose weight using a simple idea. Figure out how many calories you need for your body to do what it does and eat less calories than that. Exercise more. He believes ( and this is true ) when a fat ( sorry, obese ) person loses weight...their body catches on and starts hoarding calories. This is true. Research backs up what he says. So he believes that just doing more exercise and cutting out some of your habits ( whole sleeve of Oreos anyone? ), you can lose weight without your body catching on to you and therefore do a better job of it.
That whole idea probably takes up a paragraph or so in this book. What is terrific about this book is what we learn about Tommy, his family, friends, his job and especially the non joy of being an obese person in America.
He tells about the road of quitting sports gradually as his body just could not carry the weight around a basketball or tennis court anymore. How hard it is to go to a restaurant for fear of breaking a chair when you sit down or air travel in those tiny seats. About eating a regular meal at a meeting and then getting a second fast food meal on the way home. and seat belts that don't fit without an extension...and more.
I really, really liked this book. I hope Tommy writes more down the road to let us know how he is doing.

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"Fastfood...I’m so drawn to it that I’m not sure how far the junk-food giants would have to go to make me quit:
We’re now making Cheez-Its from cat hair and sawdust. Deal with it.
All right, dammit. Gimme the party-sized box..."

This guy is a really good writer! He is so personable and his narrative is so poignant, it made me want to cry.
At first, I thought this was a self help book about someone who lost 200 lbs and changed their life, but it is really a memoir, a snapshot of the author's life in which he is happily married to the love of his life, has a great job doing something he loves and does well and is also battling an addiction with food. He's not slim, but so far, he is winning - 85 lbs is not a small amount to lose.
Reading this book has changed my perception of obese people. I had always been slim most of my life and could not understand why overweight people didn't "just stop eating and use portion control - such a simple concept , why don't they get it?" However, as I've gotten older, I realize it's not that easy to lose weight and changing your lifestyle to a different way of eating feels like a punishment with no reward for a long time, if you can even stick to it. Emotions are also a very important part of what and why people eat.
Tommy Tomlinsome is painfully honest with his descriptions of his life, but does not feel sorry for himself, which make you like him even more.

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I picked this book because of my relationship with food. I think when you have a relationship with food, good, abd or indifferent, it propels you to read and connect with others.

I loved his thoughts, candidness, and his experiences with food, his anger, and jokes at times in relation to his patterns. Tommy Tomlinson has used food all of his life to cope and escape, when he was good when things were bad, and even simply if it was Tuesday. . When he turns 50 and decides he doesn't want to battle with it anymore and dives head first into a series of personal development. Who is he?.

I enjoyed this book because it wasn't self helpish. It was more a path of self-discovery, an account of how he chose to tackle his food issues, one step at a time- slowly, mindfully, and realistically. It wasn't his diet that changed, it was everything about him.

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Tommy Tomlinson is a writer. Wow, is he ever. His background as a reporter for over 20 years and as a writer for ESPN, Esquire, Garden and Gun and other publications has fine-tuned the writing skills that I believe he was probably born with. He knew how to grab me and keep me interested in his story from the first page all the way throughout the book.

His story? Living as a morbidly obese person for almost his entire life. As someone who has struggled with weight issues myself, I ate up this book as if it was a box of hot, fresh, Krispy Kreme donuts. Although I've never weighed nearly as much as Tommy, who reached 460 pounds, I still felt every emotion that he described. And the fact that I felt it necessary to mention that I've never weighed that much underscores the rationalization that we, the overweight, feed ourselves, along with the food we devour. Tommy Tomlinson would get it.

Never been overweight and don’t think you can relate? I beg you to read this anyway. There are laugh out loud moments and there are dampened tissue moments, but every moment is as real as it gets. Tommy writes as if he’s talking directly to the reader. He tells of his family life, his loving wife, his career, deep joy and deeper loss, and his hidden inner pain. It's all shared by a man who knows how lucky he has been in life yet also knows what he has missed and what he has caused others to miss because of his weight. But he makes it clear that although his addiction is food, there are many of us that have the same feelings deep down, whether we are addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling or anything that holds us back from the person we hope we are inside but may be afraid to meet.

Brilliantly written and wonderfully readable, this is neither a pity-party saga nor a self-help book. It's an candid, brave story by someone who wants to do better for himself and his loved ones. I fell in love with this guy because of his honesty and his ability to share his life so openly with me, the reader.

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for an ARC in exchange for my honest review. 5 stars, minimum.

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Once I opened this book I could not put it down. The honesty of this memoir deserves respect. A gifted writer, Tommy Tomlinson, gave us his worst. His struggle with food, self hate. Fat life is tough. But there is so much more he has shared. His connection to his family and friends. The dog. His love for his wife, Alice. In the books I read I am always looking for that special relationship between people. A true connection. It is hard to convey.. Tomlinson has done it very well.
#TheElephantintheRoom #TommyTomlinson #netgalley

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I just love this guy. Never once did he try to make me feel pity for him; rather, I felt gently pulled along with him throughout his struggle. Sometimes great things are accomplished by taking just One...Small...Step. I did wonder from the outset why he didn't resort to medical intervention, but when I saw that he was successful in dropping weight, albeit slowly, I loved his method, discipline, and determination all the more. Sometimes you just have to blindly find your way out of denial.

I like him and I care about what happens to him. More than anything, I recognize and appreciate his honesty. All are key to me in determining whether or not the author of a memoir was competent and artful in the telling of his or her story.

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Tommy Tomlinson is a man with many thoughts continuously racing across his mind.
This book is not only about his struggles with weight and related health issues, but also about his outlook on life. Told with integrity, humor, self realizations, and compassion for others also struggling, this memoir of the year after his sister died offers something different for everyone who will read it.
This is not a ''how I did it and you can too" book. If anything, it is more of a WHY I am doing it, sort of book. It has moments when you will compare your own situation to Tommy's and moments when you wish you could cheer him on as well as some very sad moments.
There is some nutritional information included. The only thing I felt he left out was that not all calories are created equal.
The most important thing I took from this book was the concept that people hold themselves back from achieving their goals. Tommy talked about whether he was afraid of doing things because he was fat or was he fat because he feared doing things. You can substitute FAT with any number of other adjectives, such as old or poor or whatever. Doing so could make this message motivating to a larger audience.
Tommy's efforts on are going. He has a strong support system. He understands that the voice in one's own head can be a powerful foe. He admits that he has started over more than once and still has slip ups. He has learned to forgive himself.

This is a quick read with a strong message.

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