Great book on bullying! I only wish that this book was available 30+ years ago when I was in school and I went through my own experience with school bullying. It is very refreshing to have someone take school bullying seriously and to understand the implications that happen from these experiences.
The author mentions that bullying is the number one form of child abuse in this country and I believe it. He did a great job outlining why. He explained thoroughly the 4 parties involved in bullying situations: the target, the bully, the bystander, and the protector.
He reiterated his theme that we need to crack down on the bullies. He explained how all too often, people look at bullies with those of low self-esteem and a difficult background. He debunked that myth off the bat, explaining that if there is a self-esteem issue, it is with having an overinflated self-esteem. He also explained that just "being nice" and "building up" the bully was not helpful and that it makes things more difficult for the targets of bullying, not to mention that it does not eliminate the problem of bullying.
I also appreciated all that he discussed in regards to the bystanders. That was one of the groups of people that I struggled with the most during my own experience in high school...those who did nothing about the bullying. Those who said "just ignore them", "everybody gets teased", and "you're too sensitive" and were just apathetic in general. Those who were not actively involved in the bullying but would laugh along with the bullies. All this advice about ignoring, etc. never helped and only made things worse in my situation, as well as the situations mentioned in this book. The author also talked about those admonishing the targets for showing/expressing anger over the situation. The author admonished these types of bystanders by stating that they are putting an unfair burden on the targets in how they deal with the situation. I also liked how the author addressed how some have misused Bible verses in "helping" targets deal with the bullying..."just turn the other cheek", "forgive and forget" (or condone the actions of the bully).
The role of protectors are very important. The author strongly encourages the role of protector and encourages peers, parents, teachers, etc to take a stand against bullying, stand up for the bullied, take the target under their wing, and include them. I had my own protectors in school and I don't know how I would have survived my time in school without them.
The book also had "interludes" throughout the book about the personal experience of the author's and other's experiences with bullying. The author was very transparent towards the end when he mentioned him joining in with the bullies in his school on one occasion. I especially appreciated the inclusion of Christian author Frank Peretti's testimony on his bullying experience.
This book is a "must read" for everyone...especially parents, educators, and church leaders. This book shows the complete devastation of those being bullied and how being bullied contributes to suicides among teams. It is a very honest, straightforward book that takes a very strong stand against bullying.
Lori W, Reviewer
Michelle K, Reviewer
