It's Not Supposed to Be This Way

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Member Reviews

This book is beautifully written and filled with hopeful and attainable messages, for everyone, not just Christians even if the book is aimed at them, mostly.
The chapters are well organized and at the end of each one, there is a page or so with the summary of what the reader learned which I found of great help and another page filled with scripture that could be of help as well as a little prayer to help with whatever hardship someone might be going through.
This book takes a lot of the reader's agency because being written by a believer, the author tells us that no matter what, our path is being decided by god so w mostly have to sit down and wait for things to be good again, if we don't like what is happening at a given time. If you are a theist, then this book will be very comforting
I also liked the cover a lot, with the correct balance between light colors that grab our attention and only when we actually focus, lets us see what is wrong with the picture.
Thank you to NetGalley and NelsonBooks for this ARC.
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To be honest, It's Not Supposed to Be This Way fell into the category of "not applicable" in my mind based on my following the author Lysa Terkeurst's on social media and knowing what hardships she was facing. I WAS VERY WRONG about the topic of the book!

Be aware that if you are under the impression like myself that it is about a cheating spouse and how to find restoration in your marriage, it is NOT. It's Not Supposed to Be This Way is a book on how to deal with any life situation that "is not supposed to be this way" and more importantly how to cope with Jesus by your side. Lysa walks you through dark circumstances with understanding and grit because she truly has experienced and is fighting the battle of painful situations while putting the words on paper. A book has so much more depth and speaks loudly when the author has been or is going through what they are writing about. You can feel the emotion and power in the words.

In our current world where expectations and perfection are put in front of us daily as if they are the norm, it is comforting to have a book that exposes reality and what is probably the "real" norm which is disappointment and imperfectness. Behind all of the pretty images and curated posts, there are real people going through very real struggles and you can find help in this book to deal with them. At the end of each chapter, there is a section called Going to the Well and it gives you practical application of what you have read and breaks it down into simple segments labeled - Remember, Receive and Reflect. After absorbing the pages in the chapter instead of setting the book down with a swirling mind, you have the tools to piece it together and apply it right away.

I am so thankful that I took the time to read It's Not Supposed to Be This Way that I thought wasn't relevant to my life. It was not only relevant but it turned out to be a book I highly recommend to others to read!
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I normally like Lysa's writing but this one felt like a rehashing of some of her other books and focused on her divorce...which she didn't end up geting and had a vow renewal so the message ends up being a bit confusing? Kudos for being so raw though! It was kind of interesting since many Christian authors ignore any bad in their lives.
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It's Not Supposed to Be This Way
By Lysa TerKeurst
Life can be disappointing. Our expectations and desires don’t always play out how we imagined. Lysa TerKeurst shares her personal struggles with life’s disappointments and points to God and His plan as the key to experiencing peace and hope. 
I have to say that Lysa is a truly strong woman for being bold enough to share her story of faith so we can learn and grow in faith. I admire her willingness to follow the Lord in her life which allows the reader to feel at ease while reading her book. Knowing that this is not holier than thou author preaching made it an easy, authentic read. 
The topic of disappointments is easily relatable. I haven’t met anyone that hasn’t been disappointed in something that life has thrown at them. Our response to life’s disappointments is pivotal. Although we may not feel like there are options in our moments of despair, we do have the choice to look up to our heavenly Father or down to ourselves to carry on. Lysa gives some great advice on how to stand strong against the enemy and persevere in our faith. Knowing how to navigate through life’s lemon moments and put your faith in the Lord will bring comfort and peace to you knowing you can face tomorrow. 
I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest opinion which I share here.
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This book is a combination of a memoir and self-help book with a heavy emphasis on your relationship with God. While I personally did not enjoy this book, I can see many truly loving it. 

Thank you for the ARC Netgalley.
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We all have hurts and disappointments in life.  This book gently reminds us who we need to lean into.
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The premise of this book is quite interesting. As I was reading of the trials Lysa had experienced, it brought to mind of when I had the pleasure and honor of attending a Mass by Pope John Paul II. I am reminded of one of his core beliefs that largely led how he approached his latter years of life. He believed that God’s purpose for human suffering, whether it is physical or mental, is to allow us time to grow closer to God. It’s easy to believe in God and your religion when things are going well but to go through suffering forces you to allow Jesus to carry the burden and for you as a flawed human to accept that. Lysa does a good job of continuing this message. 

#ItsNotSupposedToBeThisWay #NetGalley
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It's Not Supposed to be This Way.  What a great book title!  The Bible tells us that God created the world good.  Lamentably, with the first sin in the garden of Eden, everything changed.  The heartache, the disappointment, the trials that are now faced by every human in life?  This is not how God created things.  It's not supposed to be this way.

If we study the overarching theme of the Bible, we see that God uses all things to bring about good.  TerKeurst builds on this truth in her book and show how disappointments in life can hold so much potential for good.  She encourages her reader to "be grateful and positive" in the midst of disappointments without "pretending we don't get exhausted by our disappointments".  TerKeurst shares intimate details of her own struggles, connecting herself with the reader.

While TerKeurst's writing was relatable, I could not help but see the first few chapters as a combination of a biography, a pep talk, and a self-help book.  This was not the type of book I was expecting, nor was it one I was particularly interested in reading.

TerKeurst's worldview snuck through at times through her particular choice of words.  She wrote of how "God showed [her] a picture of how He wants [her] to be as [she does] life from here."  She states the she is "not really a 'see some sort of vision' kind of girl" and how "at first [she] thought it was just [her] imagination wandering off for a minute.  But then [she] felt an impression on [her] heart that this wasn't random; this really was from God."  TerKeurst then depicts this vision she was supposedly given, in great detail.  This phrasing and practice concerns me and caused me to be on guard as I continued reading.  

TerKeurst writes of how God has given His Word to guide through disappointments.  She goes on to encourage the reader to store up "fighting words" and make declarations over situations they are facing.  She states, "We all need to have some fighting words on hand so we can declare God's truth over our difficult situations".  Some "fighting words" she recommends are, "I am declaring right now that I will not be swept up into a storm of fear and wild emotions", "I will not be one of [Satan's] victims, nor will I be afraid", "I will not be a woman controlled by the lies of the enemy or by my own doubts and fears", "I will see the things that come my way as God's perfect plan to develop my character to match my calling", "I am declaring hope and truth over my life".

My heart bristles at this wording.  Our confidence it to be in God alone, not in our declarations.  Though each statement she makes is backed with a Bible verse, when phrased as "I declare", the focus is taken off of God as our strength and placed on our very declaration.  Declaring "I will not" does not make the declaration occur.  To expect it to be so, is to set oneself up for disappointment.  I would have loved to see these same statements made with a humble prayer, even begging God to let these things be true in our lives.  Let the source of our strength be God alone, and our declarations be ones of praise for who He is.  Let our "fighting words" be His Words, stored in our hearts and overflowing in our lives.

While the bulk of the content of TerKeurst's book was good, and she had some very relatable, quotable material, I was not a fan of her writing style or the things already mentioned above.  If I were to recommend a book regarding disappointments, I would be much more likely to recommend Elisabeth Elliot's Suffering is Never for Nothing.
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This book was very timely for me and I found great strength and encouragement from Lysa's words of wisdom. Though I am not sure that I agree on all her thoughts regarding 'suffering,' I found many great takeaways that relate and apply to my current situation. I love Lysa's courage, vulnerability and humility, and I pray that everyone can receive something from this book.
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Thanks to NetGalley for the ecopy of this book for my Kindle.
Disappointments and heart aches happen even when you're doing what God has directed you to do.  Knowing how to face them and to get above them is the hard part.  Giving her personal examples and ways she handled these was very encouraging.. 
A great book!
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Absolutely fabulous. A must read for anyone who has been disappointed by circumstances in life. This book helped me so much during a very trying and disappointing time with my teenage daughter.
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Lysa Terkeurst is one of my favorite Christian authors. When she releases a new book, I dont have to look at the back to figure out if I want to buy it or not. It's Not Supposed to Be This Way is a very raw and real testimony of a difficult season of her life or what she thought her life should be. This book is a little different than her others because she is writting this in real time and she doesnt have all the answers and wisdom but when you finish it you have tons of wisdom for when you are filled with disappointments.
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Lysa TerKeurst absolutely could not have written this book if her husband had not had an affair.  It would have fallen flat and been another book of platitudes from someone who just doesn't understand.  But she does understand - at least in part.  Her situation may be very different than mine, but she understands the emotional beating so many of us are going through.  She understands when stuff falls apart through circumstances so unexpected you feel robbed.  

I felt for Lysa and I felt like she felt for me.  And she has encouraged me and this book helped me to work through a lot of personal things.  

I will read it again soon and I highly recommend it for women in tough times.

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Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for my honest review!
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Lysa TerKeurst spoke directly to my soul in this book.

I've dealt with infidelity in my marriage as well, and although we did come out together on the other side, I know that that is not the case, nor should it always be for other couples.

Lysa exemplifies such grace, and truth. She gets down and dirty and completely owns up to the fact that she's questioning her faith - and that's not a bad thing. She shows how God is always showing up - even when we can't see or feel it.

If you've ever dealt with severe disappointment, I'd recommend this book to you - no matter what the circumstances were.

She touches on more than just her marriage - health and friendships also play a big role.

Run, don't walk! And go read this book immediately.
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Absolutely one of the best books I have read. I have underlined half of the book. Learn how to handle devastation and heartbreak by following God's Word and depending on Christ. It will change your attitude on how to handle and think about your trials. You realize that Lysa has been there and understands what you are going through. I have bought books to give to others and it is ministering to them.
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I thought this was a wonderful book. I always love Lysa’s honesty and realness about her struggles and the feelings that go along with us. She opens up about the disappointment and hard times in her life and shares with others things that might help and lessons learned along the way. I could especially relate to her considering moving to Montana to become a waitress in an effort to escape from all the difficulties in her life. I’ve considered the exact same thing! She reminds us that God is there and will help us survive the hard times.

Excellent book! 

Rating: 5 out of 5

This book was given to me by Thomas Nelson Publishing in exchange for a free review.
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Where to begin! This book is one we all need to read. Written from a time when trials were all around her, Lysa didn't give up, even though her life wasn't going the way she wanted it to go, it didn't mean she was alone. God was always there for her and with her. This book will change your life. Grab the tissues, have about three highlighters and find a comfortable spot.
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I picked up this book after being ‘introduced’ to the author Lysa TerKeurst through the Proverbs 31 ministry. ‘It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way’ was authentic and honest in the description of the less than ideal events in the author’s life without crossing the line into oversharing. The author shared about her personal struggles in a very relatable, open way that caused a lot of personal reflection on my life. She kept Bible based truth and encouragement at the forefront of the book. The format of each chapter forced me to slow down and process all of the truth she packed into each page. With the opportunity to read, research the highlighted verses, and then take time to reflect on the questions, I feel like I soaked up more from this book than I would I have if it was read straight through. 
I would recommend this book to everyone - you may not personally being going through a hard season of life right now but chances are that you may know someone who is and this book will help you understand and align yourself with them to offer help.
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This is a great read! I struggled with reading this book it tugged at my heart  all though I haven't struggled in the same way as the author it still touch me. For anyone who is battling anything in there life and you feel alone this book is for you. or if you ever wonder why God allow this or that to happens in your life this is the book for you. This is a book that reaches deep don in your soul and may even break your heart for the author. I even stop to prayer  for the author.
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I was fortunate enough to read this book as a Bible study. Lysa get honest about her life and how heart breaking it is what life doesn't go as planned. She teaches that God can and will bring you to healthier place, maybe not fix the problem but help you cope. I loved the way the book was laid out. My favorite part was the chapter recap at the end. Great book.
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