Member Reviews
A really useful book, gentle and insightful, A lot of the advice I would say most parents are aware of but sometimes reading a book is a call to action, and there are many pieces of advice in this book that will stay with me and that I might otherwise not have thought about.
Funny and clever. Makes you laugh and cry.. and think too. Your must-read book. Every person - young and old should read it to relax, have good time, but also learn.
I read this very soon after giving birth to my first child a few years ago (which is why it's taken me so long to review it!) but I really enjoyed the theories and techniques in this book, along with how it was written. I believe it has informed and influenced the way I've so far brought up my daughter (and now my son too) in the past almost 5 years. I think I need a reread now as they're getting older, as even more of it is now making sense to me!
A really interesting read with lots of intriguing sections, but I think I would've benefitted more if I had children of my own.
Phillipa Perry wasn't known to me before reading this book but after finishing this title I'm incredibly keen to read more of her work. She starts this book saying how it isn't a parenting how to book, I quite agree. This book felt like a frank and honest chat with an aunt or mum at baby group who has been there and done it all before. This book is full of anecdotal advice and honest stories from the depths of parenthood.
As a mother and an adult child of trauma I found this book triggering in the best way possible. It made me really think about the parenting choices I'm making and how they may be linked to the way I was raised. Of course not every story or piece of advice is going to match up with your way of life but that seems to be the best thing about Phillipa's work. Whilst she will give you "best case scenarios" with parenting, she understands that in the spur of the moment it doesn't always happen.
I would recommend every parent, carer and adult wounded child to check this book out. It may uncover some nasty wounds you didn't know you had but it also might help you heal them whilst you're there.
This book is an accessible guide to child-centred/gentle parenting & the theories of parents healing their own childhood trauma to avoid their children triggering them in similar situations. I found it had nothing to say that I'd not encountered before but the information, theories and suggestions are sound. I also found the delivery a little repetitive and just a touch patronising. Despite this, the theory alone earns 4 stars as I believe it to be extremely important.
It's one of those books that makes you have one of those 'of course!' moments from the very first few paragraphs. A cheap form of CBT, if you like.
An interesting dissection of the often complex parent/child relationship. Thought provoking and useful.
Really helpful and insightful. Just wish I’d read it a few years ago!!
4*, have recommended to many of my friends, now wondering if I should give a copy to my parents!!!!!!
Great parenting advice and would be a great present for all new (and newish) parents out in the world. Alas, my children are now young adults, so I don’t really need this guide, but I found myself nodding along and agreeing on almost every page (except on sleep training, so we’ll have to agree to disagree on that one.)
Great book, a must for all parents and parents to be.
This really made me question some of my parenting methods and helped me think of better ways to do things.
Highly recommended, a future classic.
I’m an avid Red magazine reader and I always look forward to reading Philippa Perry’s agony aunt page. She gives great advice, often laced with some details from her own life, and she doesn’t patronise or condescend. This book continues to follow that brilliant pattern. As a mum of three children I was curious about what Perry could impart. I’m not one for self help books to be honest so this was a leap of faith for me. The case studies and insights are plentiful, and again Perry dishes out advice with subtlety- a good read that I feel has helped me to parent better.
Interesting book which gives great advice on how to communicate with babies, children and teenagers. It made me reassess my relationship with my own parents, friends and extended family. A book that teaches you empathy, compassion and how to heal old wounds. Have recommended to every parent I know.
The best book on parenting I've read. Philippa Perry explains, in a completely non-judgemental way, how and why we can make mistakes when trying to do the best for our children and how we can learn to not repeat past mistakes or experiences. I learnt so much from this book, it made me better able to understand my own reactions to situations and better able to understand other people's reactions too. I'd recommend it 100%.
Parenting is such an emotive topic but I found a majority of The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read enjoyably refreshing; its focus on feelings and communicating with children as the mini-adults they are, rather than sugar-coating everything or relying on bribes to get them to cooperate is brilliant, “What children need is for us to be authentic, not perfect.” Basically, acknowledge your child’s feelings and ‘life is less likely to be a battle’ as ‘We all behave better when we’re not desperate for more contact and connection, when we feel we belong.’ This is exactly what I needed to read right now, I’m adjusting some of the ways I now parent, hopefully with a positive outcome. Ultimately, this book reminded me: ‘You and your child are on the same side: you both want to feel content rather than frustrated.’ Amen to that.
Thank you Penguin UK and Netgalley for this ARC.
Philippa Perry is a psychotherapist and I truly appreciated her forgiving, kind hearted approach to parenting in the book. It is not often in today’s society that parents are given permission to acknowledge we don’t always get it right in an in judgmental way. It is a refreshing approach and I am sure many parents would have had times when this book would have been like a big hug on tough days.
I enjoyed reading about how our parenting is affected through blind spots developed either as patterns of behaviour from when we were children or from earlier parenting years. It is helpful to recognise ways our behaviour has been shaped and how to evaluate whether this is still a conducive behaviour pattern.
A great book which I have referred back to many times.
Thank you for the opportunity to read and review this book.
I skipped through some of the younger year chapters as I have older children but
As a grandparent, I thought I may find this book interesting. It was okay, a lot of the content referred to babies. Personally, I reckon a lot of of love and common sense, understanding and empathy are all that's needed.
I enjoyed reading this book and found it very useful. It’s definitely one that I will return to. I have followed Philippa Perry’s advice in Red magazine. She writes very well and the main piece of advice I am taking from her excellent book is ‘Define yourself rather than defining your child’. It has made me re-think things I have said in the past (oh dear) but the author writes that it’s never too late to change. I found this an uplifting book, with interesting case studies, and look forward to implementing her ideas. Lots of useful tips for parenting children of all ages. Highly recommend.
Some good elements to this book. The most part is about babies but their is enough content about older children/ adults to appeal to both younger and older parents.
I took away the message that its never to late to repair damage in relationships and to look at yourself too. I think this is a book I will revisit again.
A new type of ‘parenting book’. Interesting angles and some things to really make you think about your own childhood and how this might impact children in your life.