North Star Editions and NetGalley provided me with an electronic copy of The Quiet You Carry. I was under no obligation to review this book and my opinion is freely given.

When her father calls the police after locking Victoria out in the cold, Child Protective Services has no choice but to remove her to a temporary foster home while an investigation is conducted. Forced to change schools in the middle of her senior year, Victoria just wants to keep her head down and get through it without being noticed. Despite every attempt to push people away, will Victoria gain a support system that can help her through the hard times?

As the life that she has known is shattered, Victoria must rely on her inner strength. Her resiliency comes through strong in this book, which is a hallmark trait among many of her real life counterparts. The author did a good job of capturing the pitfalls of the foster care system, particularly the overwhelming nature for both the children and their case managers. After everything that she went through, Victoria's reactions in the aftermath seemed reasonable and realistic. The only place where The Quiet You Carry fell short was in regards to the lack of communication between those in authority and Victoria herself. Because of her age, Victoria would have not been kept so much in the dark. The case manager, the police, and the foster mom would realistically have been more honest with the young woman, seeing that she was only months away from turning eighteen. Overall, The Quiet You Carry was a good YA realistic fiction, highlighting social issues that will resonate with many in the target audience.

Honestly, I was pissed when I started reading this book! I just knew the Dad was a scumbag liar, who using people's trusting nature to manipulate them! My outrage grew more when Victoria read the letter her Mom wrote before she died. How dare her Mom put that kind of responsibility on her own daughter!?! As a daughter the only the grief of losing her Mother, should have been enough. Victoria did not have to or need to be responsible for her Dad’s happiness, he is the adult! I know, the Mom had faults of her own (it will be brought out in the book), but I was livid!

With all that being said, I highly recommend reading this! I rated the book 4.5 /5 stars because I had such an emotional outpouring while reading! Yes, it is an emotionally read and it will take some outside of their comfort zone. I know this story will connect with someone!!

Thank you to North Star Editions/Flux, Netgalley, and Nikki Barthelmess for providing an ARC for my honest review.

Thank you to NetGalley, Flux, and Nikki Barthelmess for an ARC ebook copy to review. As always, an honest review from me.

Trigger warning: not too graphic mentions of sexual abuse and incest, suicide attempt, self harm

Like:
- We get to see Connie, the foster mom, grow as a person and a character
- Connie means well and her rules are there for a reason even if they seem unfair
- The different characters’ experiences - we get a more well rounded picture of foster care through the parents, step parents, foster parents, other foster kids, step siblings, friends, teachers, and social worker
- Victoria’s friends
- Mentions how the stress physically affects different characters

Love:
- A book about foster kids (both young kids and teens) good representation for an often not talked about set of kids and experiences
- Victoria (main character) is relatable, hard working without being perfect, willing to change, the kind of girl you’d want to be friends with
- The adults who look out for Victoria’s well being - shows that there are people out there who care
- The revelations of how much the dad manipulated the whole family - really important to show how manipulative, deceptive and mean abusers can be, even within their own family

Dislike:
- The dad and the step mom’s actions/inactions
- Some parts feel a bit contrived to make the story work, but it could also be extremely realistic

Wish that:
- The book was longer (I get that shorter reads appeal to a young spectrum of readers, so I understand why.)

Overall, a realistic happily ever after book about foster care challenges and surviving sexual abuse. I can see this book being very important, educational and validating for many teens and pre-teens dealing with similar experiences.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This book!!! So many heart feelings! I almost forgot I had this book until scrolling though my kindle. I really enjoyed this. I have tons of great reads coming from Net Galley lately. I highly recommend this book.

Nikki Barthelmess writes a heart-wrenching fictional novel about the foster care system in the United States as seen through the experiences of Victoria Parker, a 17 year old senior in high school. (I want to alert sensitive readers that this book contains sexual abuse, domestic violence, self-harming actions and a suicide attempt.)

Victoria is placed into the system after her father, a lawyer, locked her out of the house at 3 AM one cold December morning, refusing to let her back in. Found soon after by a policeman, Victoria keeps insisting that it's all a misunderstanding with her dad and she just wants to go home. DCS is called, and she is taken away for the night.

Stunned to learn that her father doesn't want her back, and is unwilling to go to the parenting classes and submit to home and school visits that would let that happen, Victoria is placed in a foster home in another town and prohibited from contacting any members of her family. Unable to speak about what really went on in her home and unwilling to let others get too close to her, she finds adjustment to her new life difficult. To her credit, she continues to prepare herself for college, knowing that's the best way for her to have a successful future. Though supported by her school staff and some compassionate fellow students, she struggles with the truth she has buried deep inside her. When a girl in her foster home takes a shocking action to escape her life, everything boils to the surface and Victoria decides she can remain silent no longer.

The Quiet You Carry is a powerful, well-written book that deserves to be read. This book proves once again that we never know what others are going through, and we all must take more responsibility to be alert and aware of the hardships that others may be dealing with.

I am grateful to NetGalley and North Star Editions Flux for allowing me to read an e-ARC of this good read in exchange for an unbiased review. My opinions are my own.

Sometime you read a description for a book and you know going in your heart will be broken. You can just tell the main characters life is going to crush you. The Quiet You Carry was one of those books. The blurb alone almost had me in tears and from the get-go I knew I was in for an emotional roller coaster.

The Quiet You Carry is about Victoria, a 17 year old girl that finds herself kicked out of her house at 3am when her father’s weird behavior hits a head. Having nowhere to go she is placed in a foster home causing her life to plans to crumble around her. Suddenly she is in a new school, living with new people, and has rules she doesn’t understand all while trying to hide a secret she knows will change everything.

My heart truly ached for Victoria and her story. At 17 she lost everything. She lost the father that was supposed to protect her, the home that she had always known, her friends and school, and her plans for the future. I can’t imagine going through that at any age never mind 17. And not only dealing with all of that she also had to deal with the trust her father broke and the secret she was holding for him. Truly she broke my heart and I shed quite a few tears. What I loved most about The Quiet You Carry was seeing Victoria learn to trust again which wasn’t easy for her after what she had been through. Slowly seeing her let people in was the highlight for me.

Nikki Barthlemess reached all of my expectations with her debut book. She hit all the marks I expected from the blurb and I walked away from it feeling hopeful for Victoria and the life she wanted to live. I highly recommend you checking this gem out. Just make sure you have a few tissues handy…you know, just in case.

I was excited about this book and wow has it lived up to my expectations. Its hard hitting and shows the reality of some peoples life in foster care. I also enjoyed the friendships and romance explored with in too.

Victoria Parker was sent to foster care because her dad accused her of something. And she doesn't want to tell her side of the story. Since he refuses to let her back in the house, she has to leave with Connie. And she hates Connie. t also means that she has to live in a new town, meet new people, go to a new school... And it all sucks.

I felt for Victoria but I felt like she wasn't all that layered and very immature for her age. It bothered me while I was reading. And yes, I am old and aware of that but I know people of her age and most of them are a lot more mature that she was. I just couldn't connect with her and it made me feel shitty. I felt like she was taking all the wrong decisions and it was basically hard being in her head. Still, this book talks about important issues, but it felt like it was on the surface and I honestly don't know what else to say...

This is the story of Victoria, who was kicked out of her house in the middle of the night and sent to foster care at the age of 17. What a heartbreaking, yet uplifting story. I'm so glad I got to read this book! I couldn't put it down, and I read it in one day! It brought me back to high school, and let me have an inside look to how some kids feel.

Oh boy. Ok this was definitely a whirlwind of emotions for me. I don't think I've read a book about foster care in the past so I believe this is my first on this subject. The author has spoke in a Goodreads answer that while she has been in foster care this is not directly tied to her personal past. As in, it is within the realm of possibility from what she has seen and lived but not her actual experience. Does that make sense? Do I need more coffee before I write this? Probably. Either way I was glad that my first book dealing with this subject was written by an author who can write based on personal experience with how the system works with children, what foster homes can be like, etc.

First of all it was evident something was up with Victoria's father right from the beginning. We start the story as Victoria is being kicked out and follow her journey from sleeping on a emergency case workers office couch all the way to being placed in foster care. There are a lot of ups and downs but I enjoyed all the nitty-gritty realistic parts just as much as the happier times. There is a lot that goes on in this story that would spoil it so i'm going to try and keep this review clean by saying if you enjoy contemporary and are looking for a very insightful and heartfelt journey than look no further.

(Disclaimer: I received this book from Netgalley. This has not impacted my review which is unbiased and honest.)

TW: sexual assault, eating disorders, self harm and suicide attempt, domestic and sexual abuse, mental health issues related to anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder, alcohol abuse

The beginning of The Quiet You Carry is intense, it just about broke my heart. We walk in on Victoria being taken from her house and while we don't exactly know why, the truth isn't far from what we might expect. But it's such an emotionally brutal scene where Victoria is metaphorically stripped away from everything - her family, her home, her lifelines. It's a difficult story, about loving people around us, the emotional (and physical) manipulation of abuse and having to come to terms with their actions. At the same time, its about the foster care system and trusting people again.

The Quiet You Carry by Nikki Barthelmess is my first book by this author. Sadly this one was not what I thought it was going to be. The story line was just too depressing. I ended up DNFing this book 25% in.

This was a title request for me. It was stirring. I didn’t even read the blurb or details. I just tapped “REQUEST.” BIG mistake on my part. I erupted into tears almost immediately when I began to read this book. Trigger warnings do not speak to how disturbing this book is. It is heart shattering because it is so GENUINE!
This story impacted me in such a profound way that I am literally crying while writing this review. I was so deeply affected that I stopped reading it. I didn’t think I would finish it. I didn’t think that I COULD finish it. It was nearly deranging. Of course, I did obviously. After I could stop sobbing enough to be able to see the words. This story elicited long past and arcane memories buried deep within me. I am sure you can tell by now, that I identified with Victoria on an intense level because of my own abuse. I will say that Nikki presented this truth-based tale in a superbly astucious and sensitive, though not delicate way. I cannot even begin to relay how extremely piercing and authentic this story is.
“No one can really see the quiet you carry unless you let them.”
This novel is so chillingly authentic. The author is unwaveringly honest and raw. She lets this story tell itself through Victoria’s eyes, so to speak. The pace is a bit slow in the beginning because that is how a victim tells their story- slowly, bit by bit. The writing is impeccable. She penned this book in such a way that you are consumed by it. Even weeks after I have finished reading it, this story invades my mind and haunts me. I believe Barthelmess could write about a cactus growing and make it a compelling tale. She is not only talented, she is gifted. I am truly in awe.
The plot? There isn’t a plot. There is only a story; one of sorrow and redemption. A teenage girl, suffering from the worst tragedies imaginable and she conquers her demons in her own way. At the beginning of the book she is fragile, bewildered, and afraid. Her growth throughout the book is both empowering and inspiring. Not only do you support this character, you are WITH her on the journey. It is very cathartic. Through Victoria, we learn that while we may not ever truly recover from the worst things that have happened to us, we may overcome the pain that was caused. All of the characters were impacting, whether you liked them or not. They were skillfully realized and the relationships and dynamics between all of the characters are so fittingly true to life.
This book addresses some issues that are not easily tackled. It brings to light many flaws in the foster care system; the plight of the social workers, the struggles of the children- the difficult situations people are sometimes thrust into, without being able to cope or manage appropriately. It raises awareness and concern for the foster care “system” as a whole. It poses questions that need to be answered and displays problems that need to be solved. I admire the author for her bravery in taking this subject matter on and bringing it to light.
The Quiet You Carry will destroy the illusions that permeate our advantaged society’s belief system that makes us feel that life is fairly good for most folks. Reality can be a heartbreaking, barbarous, and inhumane world for some people. Everyone needs to read this book. I implore you to read this book!  A most definite 5/5!
I was given this book by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
This review, or portions thereof, will be posted (when able) on Amazon, B&N, Goodreads, Kobo, IG, FB, Pinterest, Litsy, and my own blog.
Unfortunately, I am unable to provide links to all sites as I am using my phone.
On various sites I am:
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Barnes & Noble~ Karyl-Ahn-white_7
Litsy~ Karylahn or Karyl White

This is a YA novel about a 17 year old girl removed from her home due to sexual abuse (although twist...the father accuses her). The events surrounding the incident are pretty horrific, but really this is a story of survival, moving forward, and finding support; although the abuse is a part of that, it is not the entire focus. I thought the depiction of the foster home, and especially the foster mother, Connie, was well done (a savior with a lot of warts). In fact, Connie was perhaps the most interesting character, as I found the others a little to flawless to be believable. I think this book would appeal to and be inspiring to teens who become a part of the foster care system or those struggling with family, but I wish it wasn't so neat and tidy...as life rarely is.

I loved this book. It literally left me sobbing. Such a beautiful book. Lived the discussions it raised and also loved the characters and their friendships. Could have done without the romance though.

This was a book that was not easy to read. There were so many times that I wanted to yell and scream and cry. This was a story that can make you question who and what you really know. Intense, dark, and so many twists and turns page after page. What is the secret that was locked away from Victoria for all these years? Thank you NetGalley for allowing me the opportunity to enjoy this book.

The Quiet you Carry is a little different from the YA books I normally read which generally tend to fall into one of two categories – fantasy or cute, romantic contemporary. But sometimes it’s good to branch out. I didn’t entirely know what to expect from this one other than the fact it would deal with some heavy subject matters and because of that, I went into it without making any assumptions. In the end, some things worked and other things didn’t.

Who, What, Where?
Nikki Barthelmess’ debut novel centres around seventeen-year-old Victoria. One night. Victoria’s father mysteriously throws her out of the house and as a result, she winds up in foster care. The events of that evening are a blur for Victoria. She believes that there must have been some kind of misunderstanding because if there’s one thing she’s sure of, it’s that her father’s account can’t possibly be true. To her frustration, she’s quickly denied all contact with her family, including her stepsister, Sarah, and moved to an entirely new town and school. With less than a year until graduation, Victoria is forced to adjust to her circumstances and rework her plans for the future. At the same time, she also has to come to terms with the events that led her there if she wants to protect Sarah.

Topics & Triggers
As I mentioned above, the plot of TQyC deals with quite a few difficult topics. Basically, break out those trigger warnings – sexual assault, paedophilia, suicide, eating disorders, children in foster care, and domestic violence. It was interesting to read about a character stuck in a foster care situation written by an author who, herself, grew up in the foster system. Because of this, Victoria’s experiences in the system and those of the kids living with her felt genuine and realistic but also gave me a lot of sympathy for children placed in similar or far worse situations.

Plot
Deciding where I stand on the plot is a little tricky. The book starts out fairly well, if a little confusingly, and does manage to hook you out of interest in finding out what happened the night Victoria was thrown out. After this, as it’s a character-focused story, the plot does meander a lot without much of an obvious point other than to simply showcase Victoria’s experiences and growth. There were certain sections of the book where I was really engaged, especially during some of the big emotional or dramatic moments which were well written and ended up hitting me harder than expected. Then again, there were also long sections, often involving Victoria’s internal monologue, during which I found myself getting bored and checking out, particularly around the middle.

Melodrama & Cheesiness
Something that frustrated me a lot as we got closer to the end, especially during the climax and ending itself, is that the writing quickly veered into being extremely melodramatic and even corny. The dialogue seemed sappy and the tone felt so over the top and manufactured that I even found myself rolling my eyes. I mean, there’s literally a moment of, “At least we have each other” and even an unnecessary and forced flashback section. As a reader, it’s hard to get starry-eyed when everything that’s happened is over a period of only about 3 months.

Characters
As a protagonist, most of the time Victoria is fairly likeable and sympathetic. She makes the best of a crappy situation and doesn’t give up. However, at times she can be snappy and her attempts to isolate herself against interactions at her new school for so long do become annoying. Still, considering what she’s been through, it’s understandable.

In terms of side characters, Victoria’s new friend Christina is enjoyably spunky, while her love interest Kale is adorably charming. I also appreciated the fact that Barthelmess developed Victoria’s foster mother, Connie, into a deeper and more complex character, even if it was a bit sudden. One character I really wasn’t on board with was Victoria’s father. Not because he’s awful (he is) but because he just never felt real to me – he’s just a really bizarre character – and this had a big impact on how I saw Victoria’s family history and experienced the overall story arc.
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The Quiet you Carry is an honest and raw read. Even with its weaknesses, I consider this a solid debut with a lot of room for Barthelmess to grow. If you enjoy emotionally complex YA stories which deal with harsh, real-world issues, this may be a good pick for you.

3 STARS

Thank you in advance to NetGalley for this amazing read!! How can a book be BOTH heartbreaking & heartwarming at the same time. Victoria is sent to foster care after she is kicked out of the house by her father and his new wife. When she arrives at Connie's house (her new foster parent) she endures suffering along with the other kids. She finally is able to come to a good place through much suffering. I highly recommend this book to all. Looking forward to Nikki Barthelmess next read.

I have a soft spot for characters that are a little broken and lost and Victoria certainly fits the bill- This story touched on very difficult topics with such ease and grace. A gripping novel that I could not put down from page 1!

Huge thank you to North Star Editions and NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to review this book!

I REALLY wish there had been some kind of trigger warnings attached to this book both on Goodreads and on NetGalley. There was no indication whatsoever that this book might contain such triggering content, the description was very vague.

The book was fairly well written, I can’t deny that, but I struggled through the entire thing because for about 70% of the book nothing really seemed to be happening. I was determined to finish it though because I hate leaving reviews for DNFs, but to be honest, if I had known what the book was truly about I probably wouldn’t have requested it in the first place.