Heartbreaking and realistic look at our foster care system. I really liked this book so much - so wonderful to see it from the young girl's perspective and why she wouldn't talk. Recommend.

The Quiet You Carry is a book that covers many sensitive subjects such as foster care, child abuse, domestic abuse, and suicide. Each event has been researched well and presented to the reader in a way that keeps your attention so that you want to fight back for Victoria.

It had my complete attention from beginning to end and I would recommend this book.

The Quiet You Carry by Nikki Barthelmess (March 5)
Overview: Victoria never thought she'd end up in foster care. She's in her senior year, nearly eighteen, when she's suddenly brought to a foster home after being put out of the house, and she's not even sure what happened. All Victoria knows is that what her father claims she did is a lie, and she's getting punished for his actions. Victoria wants out of her rigid foster life and the tiny Nevada town she gets dumped in, but, as time goes on and she awakens to her reality, she realizes that home might not be where she wants to return after all. Overall: 4.5

Characters: 5 Victoria has grit. Even when put in one of the worst situations imaginable, she keeps her head up and keeps working toward shaping her future. As she loses one thing after another, she constructs new in its place. She stays remarkably understanding and open, and her focus is strong despite dealing with probable PTSD.
Those around her are helpful and understanding. She's able to make two friends at school, Kale and Christina, despite her best efforts to keep them away. They keep encouraging her to open up, but they're never too pushy.
Then there's her foster mom, Connie, who seems like the classic, horrible foster parent, but her character evolves beautifully as Connie and Victoria teach each other more understanding from both sides of the relationship. Victoria also forms really beautiful bonds with her foster sisters, even though who's in the house is constantly changing.
Finally, there's her original family. Victoria's abusive father is gut wrenching, Tiffany, her step mother, is both upsetting and frustrating, and her step sister Sarah makes for a complicated dichotomy in Victoria's head.

Plot: 4 Victoria's story is tragic in many ways, but her devotion to turning it around is amazing. She processes grief, and she arrives on the other side of it ready to fight harder. She has to face her own learned thoughts that are keeping her from acting on it.
Over the course of the book, with the help of distance and supportive relationships, she's able to confront what has happened to her and help her step sister. Victoria has to challenge her deceased mother's dying wish to care for her father, and she has to realize this toxic, traditional notion of the patriarchy has allowed her mother and herself to become victims of abuse.
Then, she has to reconcile how far her notion of family extends as she becomes increasingly worried about and determined to help her step-sister even though her step-mother and sister didn't stand up for her when she was thrown out.

Writing: 5 I really enjoyed Barthelmess's writing style. She writes a story full of emotion and honesty. Though there are moments when her weaving of flashbacks and the present gets confusing, overall, she is a powerful writer who makes those who have never been in Victoria's position understand.

Amazing read! The author wrote a story that was interesting and moved at a pace that kept me engaged. The characters were easy to invest in.

Content warnings include foster care, grief, sexual assault, family violence, physical and mental illness, eating disorders, self harm and a suicide attempt (the method used is included).

“none of us can understand what’s going on in another person’s life from the outside looking in. No one can really see the quiet you carry, unless you let them.”

Victoria lives with her father, stepmother and stepsister. Well, she did until the night her father locked her out of the house. Suddenly this shy, studious 17 year old finds herself stuck attending a new school in a new town and living with a foster mother who appears to hate her. Everything she thought she knew about her life has crumbled around her in a confusing mess.

Foster care isn’t one size fits all in how kids wind up in care in the first place or their experiences once there. There are so many negative stereotypes about foster kids so I was delighted to discover that Victoria wasn’t a stereotype. It never occurs to her to quit school and give up on her dreams because of circumstances outside of her control. There’s no smooth sailing here but she’s determined to move on from this experience and not allow it to define her.

Victoria’s foster care experience, while it sounds horrendous, is fairly average. Some foster kids fortunately land in families that provide the love, protection and encouragement they so desperately need and at the other end of the spectrum there are those who wind up in abusive situations that mimic those they were removed from. The portrayal of overworked caseworkers is sadly realistic and the shame of being a foster kid is all too real.

Nikki Barthelmess notes that while this book is fiction, she spent a number of years in foster care herself. I think it’s a testament to Nikki’s resilience that she has managed to articulate so well the way foster care feels. While there are some minor details in the way things unfold in the story that I could perhaps question (and will in a minute) I have nothing but praise for the authenticity of Victoria’s feelings from beginning to end.

I loved that Victoria has Christina and a boy named after a vegetable supporting her the entire time, before they know her story and, even more importantly, after. She also has supportive teaching staff, who truly can make a world of difference in a foster kid’s life.

I only hope that foster kids who read this book have someone in their corner as well because foster care can be such a lonely and terrifying experience. Even with support being a foster kid can make you feel so separate from other kids, who are worried about things like makeup and clothes while you’re worrying about the potential consequences if you tell the truth about what’s happened to you and where you’ll go next if this foster home doesn’t work out.

I found it difficult to believe (maybe it’s wishful thinking on my part) that [SPOILER - in juvie a male worker would be responsible for searching a teenage girl. I would hope that if it was protocol to do a physical search for new arrivals that a female worker would do this for girls. I also found it weird that Victoria’s best friend doesn’t try to make contact with her when she drops off the face of the Earth; sure, Victoria doesn’t have access to a phone or social media anymore but her email account is still active. - SPOILER]

Because of my own experiences and those of other foster kids I’ve known I had expected this book’s contents to be more brutal. I’m not saying everything is peachy or anything. My content warnings alone give you some indication of what to expect. I’m sure that what’s described in this book would be shocking for a lot of people so I expect I’m an outlier in this regard.

There needs to be more YA and kid’s books about the foster care system. When I was in the system I would have loved to have seen any aspect of my experience mirrored by a character I was reading about. This book will hopefully be an eye opener for people who don’t know the foster care system from the inside and provide much needed empathy and validation to those who find themselves fostered, for whatever reason.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Flux, an imprint of North Star Editions, for the opportunity to read this book.

The Quiet You Carry
by Nikki Barthelmess
North Star Editions
Flux
Literary Fiction , Teens & YA
Pub Date 05 Mar 2019


I am reviewing a copy of The Quiet You Carry (Lovestruck) through North Star Editions and Netgalley:



Victoria Parker’s Father’s behavior towards her is unusual but she has done her best to convince herself everything is fine, but the truth is everything is far from fine. One night she finds her Father has locked her outside of the house at 3 am.


Victoria finds herself dumped into a chaotic Foster home with a dominee foster mother she feels she has to tiptoe around, and somehow she must get through her Senior Year at a new high school while somehow salvaging her dreams for College, while trying to keep her past hidden.


Some secrets are not meant to stay hurried though especially when the memories of those moments makr Victoria freeze up at rand moment, no matter what shes doing and the same memories cause nightmares but worse than either one of those things is she is worried about her Step Sister Sarah whose still with her Father. She worries he’s doing the same things to her that he did to Victoria.


How is safe supposed to move forward and look towards the future when the past is haunting her?


I give The Quiet You Carry five ou of five stars!


Happy Reading!

*Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me a complimentary arc of The Quiet You Carry by Nikki Barthelmess in exchange for my honest review.*

Okay, okay. As soon as I heard the words "own voices" and "foster care", I WAS SOLD. I work with kids in the foster care system and foster families and I was so pumped to hear about this new book coming out, and I can say that it was so good. It's so important, especially for the potential foster kid who could find this one day.

This story follows Victoria, a 17 year old girl, who has just been taken by CPS into protective custody and it follows her story through the foster care system and realizing what she endured before entering CPS custody.

This story gave insight into a tale that may be talked about, but it is never from the actual child's perspective, and this story plus way more are needed. This is touched on in the author's note, and I want to thank Nikki for writing this story and for her words and her life. I also love that the author has posted the trigger warnings, this story does discuss some serious topics like sexual abuse, suicidal attempts, eating disorders, physical abuse, alcoholism, death, grief, cutting, etc.

Victoria met some really great (and not so great) people after she is forced to move. Mr. Nelson and his subtle ways of caring and making sure she's okay. Jamie, her foster sister, Kale, and Christina. Christina and Kale show up for Victoria, walk with her, stand up for her, and are so patient with her. I love them. I hope every foster care kid has the chance to find their Christina and Kale. (There's also this really sweet moment where Christina surprises Victoria with something, and wow, tears. A true friend.) There's even some really great moments of honest conversations about sharing your own story of abuse.

This story does take a bit for the plot to pick up, which I didn’t really mind. A lot of Victoria's story is her going through foster care and figuring out her new life, I think she really had to come to terms with what she went through before other aspects of the plot could happen.

This next bit is a little spoiler-y. There is a moment where Kale is trying to tell Victoria that he likes her and attempts to kiss her, but before he gets too close, he stops himself realizing that he shouldn't. Whether he was being considerate because he doesn't know her past and even about her abuse and I think it was really important. So, when the two kiss it was her choice, she already knew that he wanted to and she got to choose it. She had that right taken away before, but she then got to choose it.

This story also hit me in other ways, because I am in undergrad currently, and hope to one day become a social worker. I'm not sure what direct field, but this book really made me open my eyes to how some social workers treat children on their caseload and even what it's actually like for the children themselves (though it is not a one story fits all).

A few things I want finish up, first of all WHEN KALE PASSED HER A NOTE IN CLASS I SCREAMED, THAT IS SO CUTE, AND ALSO SUCH A SMALL TOWN HIGH SCHOOL THING. YES.

Second, there's this moment where Victoria is freaking out and she splashes her face with water, and her mascara ACTUALLY MESSES UP. I have never read or seen that before and I just want to do a slow clap for that alone.


Third, CHAPTER 15 LEGIT WRECKED ME. That is all.


Please help support this story, this author, and help make room for more stories like this. Thank you, again, Nikki. You have a wonderful debut.

Pros:
- I couldn't put this book down.
- Barthelmess took a hard subject and turned it into a book that I wanted to keep reading.
- It gave an honest insight into the foster care system.
- It had a happy ending, after all of the emotional blows that were thrown at Victoria.
- Look at that cover!

Cons:
- Nothing really, it was such a great book.

My Thoughts: 
I went into this book blindly. I liked the cover and the title, and only read the first tiny bit of the synopsis. And I'm honestly glad that I did, because I didn't form any opinions on what I thought was happening in Victoria's home or anything like that before I started reading the book.

Being inside Victoria's head, you get a glimpse of what it's like to be inside the head of an abuse survivor. The grounding, the flashbacks, the blame and guilt, and finally the acceptance. It's all there. I felt that Victoria's character was so true-to-life and relatable that she almost seemed like a real person.

My favorite thing about this book was the slow acceptance - Victoria realizing that she was not at fault. coming to terms with living in a new town, and becoming closer to Connie. I'm so glad that this book ended on a good note, because it was so emotional and so hard to read at times. Victoria deserved that happy ending.

I would recommend this book to both kids in the foster system and readers who prefer more gritty YA.

The only reason this book didn't get 5 stars is because I don't think I'll read it again. It was fantastic, though.

When you aren't sure what you remember, what to believe, what went wrong, or even which way is up trying to rebuild a future can come in a distant second to protecting the ones you love.

Victoria gets kicked out of her house by her father and gets put into the foster care system. It's not really known for a bit why but one it comes out..... It's on a very hard subject. There are some other issues that are dealt with. Victoria finds a great friend and great boyfriend that eventually help her confront her past and help some people she left behind.

I have no problem with emotional stories, but The Quiet You Carry truly disturbed me. It's a no holds barred look into foster care and abuse. Maybe it's because I have kids, but I wish I had not read this book. It's nothing against the story. It's a good engaging haunting story. My issues are with me only. Just be sure you are mentally prepared before you read. It's a good read overall.

This book was full of raw emotion and I read a blurb that the author had put on Goodreads that she was also in the foster care system. I can’t imagine what it is like, but I did know some kids that were when I was in school and they had a hard time because their foster parents didn’t really care for them.
From the very beginning of the story it was emotional. There are some serious issues that are talked about in the book that it thinks the author did an amazing job of describing. This book was a completely an eye opener for me. This is a book that everyone should read, not because its such a beautiful story but because of how it told.
This book follows Victoria who had something horrible things happen to her and because of that she suffers PTSD and to see her deal and grow as a person even with all that life has thrown at her is amazing and empowering.
I defiantly recommend this to everyone to check out.

This was a unique book. I like how it was written. It made you go uggh when it would tell what was happening then jus stop & continue with something else. I loved the characters.

The Quiet You Carry was a beautiful, yet very sad read. I loved how realistic the story was and also the characters. In no way did this book make out foster care to be a loving second family where everything is happiness and rainbows, but it also did not demonize the whole system.

The book was heart-wrenching and I cried at several points. But I loved every second of it.

Great book for anyone who loves emotional drama stories!

Thanks to NetGalley & North Star Editions for the ARC!

I received an advanced reader’s copy in exchange for an honest review

The story sounded intriguing but I just couldn’t get into the narrative or the characters. Some good dialogue but needs editing for narrative flow.

Seventeen year old Victoria is "thrown out" of her dad's house - he has accused her of "coming on to him". Child protective services places her with a single mom in another town. The Quiet You Carry gives readers a glimpse of life in a small town foster home, and the anquish that young girls sometimes face with an abusive parent.

The story would have been more powerful if the reader was made aware of the more intense details of the abuses that occured. However, Barthelmess uses language that is appropriate for teenagers to read, and so the message is somewhat softened. The end of the book, very appropriately, lists resources for those who need to seek help with personal abuses and mental / emotional issues.

I would recommend this story to young readers.

Trigger warning!

Lots of sensitive subject matter. Be cautious as there are themes of abuse and mental illness.

That said, I was convinced by the characters. I felt no real connection to the story other than pity, and pity has never been a big motivator for me.

This book was so full of emotion and pure pain - mental, physical and emotional - that I couldn’t help but feel what Victoria, the protagonist, felt. At first, I was unsure of how she’d cope with it all and of course, she resorted to self-blame and denial but once she realized that what she did or didn’t do would help or harm the people around her, she had so much growth as a character. I was proud of her in the end. I also loved Kale and the humor but self-assurance and comfort he brought not only to Victoria but to the reader itself.

This was a great lesson in empathy and I’m really happy that YA books are started to be a little bit riskier and raw by tackling such dark yet REAL LIFE topics like this.

***Thank you to NetGalley and Flux/North Star Editions for providing me with an advanced ARC of The Quiet You Carry by Nikki Barthelmess in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.***

Every once in a great while a powerful book comes along that truly rocks you to your core. The Quiet You Carry is one of those books.

Nikki Barthelmess writes a tale that sucks you into the world of Victoria, a young woman who has been abused by her father and thrown into foster care. She is faced with heartbreaking decisions, conflicting emotions, and worst of all, a system that, while keeping her safe, has removed her from everyone she ever cared about.

This book not only opened my eyes to the reality of what many children in foster care face on a daily basis, but how they are often treated by outsiders. People assuming that they are in foster care because of something they did. It's heartbreaking.

It's important to note that while this book covers several very difficult topics, it is also uplifting. Even as Victoria's world crashes down around her, there are adults in her life that care about her and her wellbeing. Also, she has two great friends who stick by her side. They are there, every step of the way, offering support. Most importantly, they do not cast judgement on Victoria and stand up to those who do.

The Quiet You Carry addresses domestic violence, sexual abuse, and what it's like for the hundreds of thousands of children in foster care in the United States. This is exactly the type of book that should be read in classrooms and talked about around the dinner table. Knowledge is power. Empathy is priceless. Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of The Quiet You Carry. It will change your world.

4 stars

This book man. This book was heart wrenching in all the right ways and provided an interesting and informative look at a topic that is not often discussed in YA literature, foster care. In this book we follow Victoria, who is taken out of her home and put into foster care. She now has to start over in a new town while navigating living with 2 other foster sisters, an overly domineering foster mother, and a the secret of why she was placed in foster care in the first place.

I thought the plot was well paced and I loved all the intense topics that were explored throughout the novel. There was a lot that was unpacked in such a short book, and as a reader, I really appreciated how well everything was handled. For example, Victoria is dealing with a lot in this book, to say the least. Although the reader has a strong idea of what happened to Victoria right from the get go, it was really powerful to see her grappling with and coming to terms with what happened to her. The way she navigated through her trauma and how she dealt with the guilt was extremely realistic and hard to read through at times. I also found the exploration of foster care and foster homes very interesting. I am the first to acknowledge that I don't really know how it works, and I definitely felt like I learned a lot from reading this book. My only criticism of the the plot is, because the book is so short, I would have liked to have seen more, especially at the end.

This book is also full of strong, supportive, dynamic, and realistic characters. Victoria, of course, goes through some major changes throughout the book and I never once really questioned her motives. She does make some dumb decisions, but I always understood why she was making those choices. Her friend group was also so great. Kale and Christina are the kind of friends who Victoria needed and their relationship blossomed in such an organic and supportive way throughout the book. One of the most interesting characters to me was Connie. I enjoyed getting to see little snippets into her past and understanding exactly what was going through her mind. I would have loved to have liked to have seen more of Jaime, but again it was a short book.

This book is extremely powerful and deals with some pretty intense topics, but I thought it was more than worth the read. I would highly recommend this book.