I really enjoyed Hard to Love, the collection of essays by Briallen Hopper. Her quiet meditations were easy to read and their slow, meandering pace allowed me to reflect along with her. In particular, I enjoyed the essay "On spinsterhood," which talked about the decision to be a woman unattached, not just today, but in previous eras, as well. Hoppers essays were relatable and relevant; they also painted an accurate picture of the things women think about and worry about.

This book is beautiful, searing, and helped me to think about love and friendship in new ways. If you are a human who knows other humans, you should read it.

I absolutely adored this book. Briallen writes in an incredibly accessible manner that is both relatable and transcendent. Her essays felt like I was talking to an old friend, and I constantly found myself nodding in agreement and highlighting passages that felt particularly relevant to my life. Her take on the concept of love and the different forms it takes, as well as the ways that society over- and undervalues certain types, put into words a lot of feelings I have had.

A group of wonderful essays devoted to relationships that are not of the norm not just couples in love.Essays of multi faceted loves,loves for relatives friends objects in real life and literature.A fascinating thoughtful read .Even though the title is Hard to Love this group of essays was anything but it is a thought inducing collection,that I thoroughly enjoyed.# netgalley #bloomsburyusa.

Unlike it's title, this book is not hard to love. Briallen Hopper has put together an excellent collection of essays that cover many aspects of growing up and not being in a traditional relationship. Without being an empty vessel in which you could slip yourself, she managed to create a sense of sameness and relatability for me.

this helped me a lot when i needed it most. so many quotes really stood out to me. this book gave me strength in myself that kept trying to hide its face from my own self. i also really enjoyed learning about Cheers.

"The paradox was that my newfound self-reliance was a symptom of my utter reliance on him. I depended on his demand that I not depend. I leaned on not leaning on him. The irony was he left me anyway."

"I was ashamed that I needed him emotionally and existentially in ways he didn’t seem to need me."

"And I was ashamed of my willingness to settle for a love life in which my desire to twine like a vine was constantly thwarted by a man who was always carefully disentangling himself from my tendrils and tentacles."

"I was a leaning willow, and when my man could and did detach himself from me, I learned that leaning willows , unlike mighty oaks, are built to withstand quakes and storms. They can bend almost to the ground without breaking."

"Even our faults and flaws can become bearable when mediated through the eyes of others, since our closest friends can show us the awful sides of ourselves that we would never have seen, but in ways that sharpen us instead of wearing us away."

"“Codependence” is a beautiful word that could mean mutual support but instead means mutual harm."

"Leaning, or being leaned on, can make one feel luscious, melting, known, held, solid, suspended, steely, light. It can also make one feel used, worn out, weak, diminished, infantilized, guarded, sick, spent. Leaning can be love."

"Maybe I was breaking down, but I also broke through."

"I still don’t ever want to let things go, but now I know that I can."