My daughter is younger, but this book had good practical approaches to many topics we will get to much sooner than I want to! Thanks for this no nonsense yet caring approach to parenting girls.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for allowing me to read and review this book.

This book was sort of preaching to the choir, since most of this was not new to me and I already agreed and have been raising my kids this way. That said, it's an important read for anyone parenting, teaching or otherwise guiding teens of any gender.

Excellent resource for parents, family, teachers,social workers, school counselors or anyone working with teenaged girls. The young ladies of today are faced with not only just old fashioned peer pressure but all the outlets of social media that are used to bully or otherwise antagonize our girls of today. The anxiety and depression is very real for our young teens.She gives practical advice and ways of dealing with teens going through these issues. I found it quite helpful in communications with my niece who was experiencing anxiety about every little thing when the family moved frequently and she had been in several schools over just a few short years.
I was provided an Advanced reader copy of the book and was under no obligation to provide a review.The opinions expressed are my own. Thanks to the author, publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book.

An amazing guide to girls and what pressure they experience and how to support them. I am a school counselor and I have had all of our faculty read this book for summer reading. I also plan to use the book with parents at group meetings and individually. Everyone who has a girl in their life should read this book.

Every parent of teen girls or teacher/admin at middle and high schools should put this on their required reading list. Damour offers many real life examples that don't feel clichéd or fake, showing how to realistically deal with numerous scenarios. Other books in this genre often leave me rolling my eyes with their over the top examples, or by showcasing girls who seem to instantly and good naturedly taking advice doled out by the adults in their lives. Based off my past failed attempts at incorporating well meaning advice when communicating with my daughter, I felt somewhat pessimistic, but I soon learned that Darmour's advice is a life changer. By the first day, I'd already employed two points of advice with my own precocious tween, both of which took immediate effect and left me slack jawed at just how well they had worked. During my reading, I took copious notes and was dying for a physical copy to annotate and fill with page markers. If I had to pick one downside to this book, it would be that I wished it was even longer.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with an advanced reading copy.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC of Under Pressure. This is another nicely written book by Lisa Damour. This was geared towards older aged girls versus her first book Untangled. I felt as if Untangled, her first book, spoke to me more than this one. However, I do have some great takeaways for when my daughter gets into older teenage years.

This is a great book for anyone who works with adolescents. Lisa Damour is truly an expert in her field. Her latest book is full of real life examples and great advice that is practical for parents, teachers, youth pastors or anyone who works with youth without being overly intellectual and hard to understand.

This is a good guide for parents/teachers who deal with daughters/female students who have anxiety. It talks about the fact that expectations, social media, and other prejudices put a lot of pressure on girls to succeed while still being agreeable and beautiful. The author takes a very common sense approach to handling a teen's anxiety over this variety of issues and also how to prevent them if we can. I would recommend this to any parent of a teenage daughter with anxiety.

ARC/Netgalley

A practical and easy to read book for parents and educators of teenage girls backed up by research and experience. I appreciated the non-alarmist tone and simple strategies that schools and parents can work into their daily interactions.

UNDER PRESSURE by Lisa Damour is one of those books that we cannot keep on our shelves, despite owning multiple copies. Damour, who also wrote Untangled about guiding teenage girls to adulthood, discusses "Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls" in her latest title. She draws from her experiences as a clinical psychologist and writes in a conversational tone about the issues girls face, especially how anxiety "seems to have spun out of control." While acknowledging that "anxious feelings are becoming more prevalent among all young people," she cites research that indicates this is happening at a faster pace for girls. Damour succinctly contrasts stress ("usually refers to the feeling of emotional or mental strain or tension") and anxiety ("usually refers to the feeling of fear, dread, or panic"). There is an entire chapter related to girls at school where she highlights the findings that "teenagers with a stress-build-strength mindset were much less upset by difficult life events ... than those with a stress-does-harm mindset" and acknowledges that (1) recovery strategies are highly personal although (2) having one is vital because "intellectual growth depends on doing both hard work and replenishing one's reserves."

UNDER PRESSURE contains roughly twenty-five pages of note, plus recommended reading related to EACH chapter for parents and girls (the latter seems more geared to middle school or early high school readers, however). For more examples of Damour's thoughts, check out this profile from KQED and her recent New York Times articles: 2/12: How to Help Teens Weather Their Emotional Storms or 2/7: Why Girls Beat Boys at School and Lose to Them at the Office or 1/16: How to Help Tweens and Teens Manage Social Conflict

Links in live post:
https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/52994/how-to-help-teenage-girls-reframe-anxiety-and-strengthen-resilience
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/12/well/family/how-to-help-teens-weather-their-emotional-storms.html
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/07/opinion/sunday/girls-school-confidence.html
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/16/well/family/how-to-help-tweens-and-teens-manage-social-conflict.html

Our teens, especially girls today, are under way more pressure than we were at that age. People are quick to say girls have "anxiety issues" when it's actually unnecessary pressure put on them at too young of an age. Dr. Damour's expertise in this area as a therapist and school counselor provides us with examples and offers realistic advice to help them overcome some of the things they are facing. I appreciated the fact that she didn't speak down on the behaviors as most parenting books do; instead, she pointed out the benefits of learning how to cope with stress at an early age. I took away many useful nuggets to help my daughter navigate her young adult years. Dr. Damour's perspective on anxiety in young girls is fresh and relatable. This book was more applicable to my 14-15 year old than her last book, Untangled, but I like the way she writes on topics related to young adult girls. (Sadly, I found Untangled after my daughter was past the tween stage.) Highly recommended for parents and others who work with teenage girls.

Anxiety affects our daughters in frightening ways. However, Dr. Lisa Damour's book "Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls" addresses common causes of stress and anxiety and offers tips that help parents and girls manage these causes in effective and unique ways.

The big takeaways from this book for me include: 

1. Anxiety can be an ally rather than an enemy. What would happen if we would see our anxious feelings as a prompt to pause and check in with how we're feeling? This pause can help us regain control.

2. Nerves can range from protective to disruptive. Wherever we are on this continuum, we have hope that our feelings are not permanent and will change in time.

3. Stress and anxiety can accumulate. That leads us to overreact over small things. We can build slack into our schedule so we have time to relax, unwind, sleep, and rest.

4. "Settle the glitter" or take time to pause and clear our heads when our first reaction is anxiety. We're not locked into our first reaction because our second reaction may be a solution or a reminder of what we can do to manage or resolve the challenging situation.  

5. Mindfulness is a way for us to become intimately familiar with the landscape of our inner lives. This practice can equip us to know ourselves and our triggers and coping mechanisms better.

6. When we face conflict, we often act like a bulldozer, a doormat or a doormat with spikes (passive-aggressive), but the goal is to be a pillar. Recognize our tendency and look for ways to stand up for ourselves without stepping on anyone.

7. We do need to succeed at school because our grades and performance affect our college admission, but let's be more efficient and tactical. How can we work smarter and not harder? Can we study less in a subject we ace and put our time and efforts into a subject that's harder?  

I liked that Dr. Damour uses the word "we" and shares dialogues with clients throughout the book. I truly felt as I read that she was in this together with me and was coaching and cheering me along as I understand anxiety and stress better. 

I also liked her practical tips as she provides effective ways to deal with social media, the news, peer pressure, boys, sexual harassment, school, grades, and conflict. The resources for parents and children also are useful.

I didn't appreciate that Dr. Damour speaks primarily from her clients' experiences. While her advice is helpful, she admits in the book that she has only experienced one panic attack, and readers should know that she does not share advice that she has personally followed successfully in her own life.

Overall, I would recommend this book to parents of children in mid-elementary to college. It offers a unique perspective on anxiety and stress and helps us equip our daughters to manage their feelings when they're under pressure.

Under Pressure is one of those books that every parent and teacher should read. It examines the epidemic of stress and anxiety in girls ranging from very young-age all the way to college-age. I thought this was a useful read as a teacher who deals with female students on a daily basis and tries very hard to help them to my best ability.

Thank you NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group for this eARC. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

This is a fabulous book and should be required reading for all parents of girls, teachers of girls, youth pastors, counselors, and anyone who works with girls. Lisa Damour does a wonderful job of breaking it down, illustrating her points with real-life examples, and giving practical advice for dealing with anxiety and stress. Damour points out that stress and anxiety can be helpful in certain circumstances, helping us to watch out for danger and to learn to deal with life’s challenges. However today’s pressure cooker of schools, sports, extracurriculars, social challenges, and lots of expectations combine to create unprecedented levels of anxiety and stress in girls. Boys experience plenty of anxiety on their own, but the problem has been shown to be epidemic in girls, who seem to internalize it more. So Damour breaks down the various sources of anxiety, and provides guidance and tips for helping girls get through it. As a teacher and a grandmother of girls, I found it invaluable.

Thanks to Netgalley and Random House/Ballantine for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Thanks NetGalley for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review!
I found "Under Pressure" to be both informative, and helpful in guiding teens through an increasingly stressful/anxious life. It was interesting to see the breakdown of tolerable stress that helps people grow, and insurmountable stress that just causes damage. With a sister that has a teenage daughter going through some of these stresses, I'm glad to have something to recommend that provides steps to take to help teen girls work through it.

It’s a common headline: We are in the midst of a scary mental health epidemic. It is apparent that stress and anxiety are much more common today than a generation ago and none of our teens seem to be immune. The teen years are a challenging time for parents, many of whom struggle to find ways to support their children without being overbearing. Lisa Damour’s new book Under Pressure takes a hard look at the stress today’s teens are experiencing and provides concrete examples of how parents can help.

A psychologist with years of experience working with adolescent girls, Damour explores stress, pointing out it isn’t stress itself that’s the problem, but unhealthy levels of stress. She says that stress is essential for growth and development; it helps us push past our comfort zones to tackle new challenges or warn us of threats or dangerous risks. Stress only becomes a problem when it hijacks rational thought and interferes with everyday activities.

Designed to help parents help their daughters (though much of the information applies to boys as well, girls are disproportionately affected by stress), the book is separated by sources of stress: home life, other girls, boys, school and the outside world.

In the area of home life, Damour talks about busy schedules and their impact on mental health. She addresses technology and reminds us that we as parents know more about our children than our parents knew about us. She acknowledges that groups of girls will have conflict and addresses how today’s technology complicates communication and also impact girls' sleep patterns, upping their anxiety.

Damour talks about sexual harassment and the “double standard” that requires girls to "behave" better than boys. She makes observations some parents may miss such as: girls are overly concerned about how others feel and feel guilty about their own negative feelings, and that maintaining a “public persona” is a big source of stress, especially for those who feel that anything short of “full disclosure” compromises personal integrity. While taking risks (and the associated stress) is part of learning, too often a focus on grades and “being good” brings stress to an unhealthy level.

This book makes an effective argument that anxiety in itself is not a threat but a warning system. As parents we can help our teens by acknowledging their fears without judging and talking to them; it's important that we maintain an open line of communication. It is also on parents to be proactive and initiate tough conversations. Under Pressure is a useful guide to help us not only see the issues but also to help our teens take some of the pressure off.

"Girls often feel stressed because they overestimate the difficulty of a situation and underestimate their ability to deal with it. When they avoid a situation, they miss the opportunity to correct that perception and recognize their own strength."

I work in schools, and like Damour, I have seen rising levels of anxiety and stress in our students. Damour's book offers a practical framework for why levels are rising, how it impacts girls in different arenas (school, home, friendships), and she offers strategies to help girls deal with this anxiety. I highlighted so many passages, and I will return to this book again and again because I want to share these strategies in a professional capacity as well as with friends who are parenting teenagers. While this is written to address anxiety in girls, the strategies are equally applicable to boys.

I wish that my mother and I had read this book when I was in high school. There is so much great and useful information in this book, and I feel like this is as close to a "teenage girl handbook" as we are going to get. I am going to be buying at least one copy of this book for my mom, who still has three teenage girls at home. There are so many things going on with girls nowadays. This book was immensely helpful.

If you're raising girls, you need to read this book. Lisa Damour covers many critical issues facing our girls and offers parents and caregivers ideas and scripts for broaching tough and even uncomfortable topics. I appreciate that she puts emphasis on helping girls get enough sleep, building downtime into their schedules, and giving them permission to let go of perfectionist tendencies when needed.

Parents will find plenty of ideas to hone their communication skills and help their daughter(s) build a stronger, more resilient foundation for adulthood. Professionals who work with girls should also read this book.

I do wish the author would have acknowledged the importance of the right nutrition for supporting anxiety and stress, especially for parents and teens looking for a more natural approach.

I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I initially was interested in this book as the mother of an anxious daughter, but found it to be applicable to my son also. I think this should be required reading for all teachers and counselors.