Tiger and her mother are a team. It's always been the two of them versus the world. Their lives may not be considered typical, but it works for them - at least for the most part. So what happens when suddenly, it's just Tiger? When her mom suddenly dies, Tiger is left to figure everything out, but first, she must grieve, and that in itself can take a lifetime.

A powerful story about life, love, and loss.

Tiger Tolliver has had it with her mother's meddling and tells her as such in a text message. How could Tiger know that it would be the last words that her mother would hear from her daughter? With the rug pulled out from underneath her, can Tiger navigate the unfamiliar world alone?

How to Make Friends with the Dark is a hard book to read, especially if the reader can identify with the main character. Losing a parent is not easy for anyone, at any age, and the author does an excellent job of conveying Tiger's thoughts and emotions. Tiger is very realistically drawn and it is easy to feel her pain. This is a powerful book with an equally strong message, that life is worth living despite the difficult path that one might have to take. I did find some small aspects of the plot to be unrealistic, especially regarding Cake's parents and their willingness to help Tiger. They seemed to be influential enough that something could have been done, although I do recognize the fact that the author did not want the plot to go there. I found the book to be extremely compelling overall and I would recommend it to those who like YA realistic fiction.

Delacorte Press and NetGalley provided me with an electronic copy of How to Make Friends with the Dark. I chose to review this book and my opinion is freely given.

A weighty YA Contemporary, grappling with a wide array of crises and quandaries.

What I Liked:

As ever with stories on this order, it’s great to see the inclusion of helplines and websites at the back of the book. The author goes the extra mile in also offering insight into her intentions and motivations with this book—some part of which is evidently inspired by her own mother.

The choppy, tangential style of Tiger’s narrative did an effective job of conveying both her trauma-induced mental ailments and the narrow, introspective perceptions that defined her even before the inciting incident. And the simple, serviceable prose gave the book more of an upper Middle Grade feel (though, some of the content is clearly better suited for a YA audience.) I also appreciated the unique organization of the telling. (i.e. instead of numbered or even titled chapters, each division is marked by the number of days and/or hours, and sometimes minutes, since the inciting incident.)

Thaddeus was both a compelling and well-rounded character. His motivations were as clear as his physical and mental traumas. His above-and-beyond compassion for Tiger, and his selfless determination to better himself so he could care for his vulnerable sibling, were possibly the healthiest examples of coping in this entire story. I looked forward to his every appearance and wish we’d gotten to see more of him.

For those directly dealing with bereavement, this book has a lot to offer by way of managing expectations. Watch particularly for sections beginning with statements on the order of: “This is what happens when…” or “This is how it feels…” As they will go on to address both the emotional and pragmatic aspects of the death of a loved one when YOU are their only known family. Aspects such as funeral arrangements and costs, death certificates, unpaid bills, cremation and procurement of remains, etc.


What Didn’t Work For Me:

Once readers get past the first few chapters and initial aftermath of the mother’s death, the pacing slows notably, and the plot seems to meander. It also becomes difficult to make any kind of connection with most of the characters.
Tiger, for instance, never felt very fleshed out. Prior to her mother’s death, it seems as though she was just sort of existing in an undeveloped state. No hobbies, goals, or plans for her future. No hopes outside of wanting to go to a dance and kiss a boy. She has a very loyal, caretaking best friend… who somehow manages to come across as more well-rounded and sympathetic than our bereft main character. But I was never clear on why or how Tiger managed to inspire such relational dedication from this one lone girl.

I suspect my lack of connectivity also had something to do with the sheer number of issues this book attempted to roll into one story. Sudden parental death, parental incarceration, foster care, grief, bullying, neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse, domestic abuse, poverty, abandonment, alcoholism, drug use, drunk driving, self-harm, secret half-siblings, depression, suicide, suicidal ideation, anorexia, abortion, juvenile detention… There’s even some commentary on the racial divide (which, unfortunately feels a bit pontificating and forced into the scene in which it comes up.) Yes, a number of these can certainly go hand-in-hand. But here, there were so many as to sometimes require the suspension of disbelief. And in attempting to encompass so many of these issues, most were only shallowly touched on.
This everything-but-the-kitchen-sink approach was vaguely reminiscent of The Perks of Being a Wallflower , minus the more endearing moments and bits of humor that would allow readers an emotional break.

Content Note: Initially the stigma against the foster care system felt heavily enforced—to the point of seeming to encourage becoming a runaway (with no mention of the high human trafficking risk, particularly to females) as a preferred alternative to being in “the system.” But if readers hang in there, you’ll see one fairly positive example of a foster parent, and then a group home situation, is eventually presented—largely mollifying the effect.
While it’s absolutely true that there are broken aspects of the foster care system (and major gaps in transitional care once children turn 18, which the book does enlighteningly mention), there are also many very dedicated foster parents and child advocates out there who deserve credit and recognition.

It’s valiant to even attempt to tackle such weighty and important subject matter. And no one expects an issues book to be all rainbows and unicorns. But for many who experience the sudden loss of a loved one and the situational depression brought on by grief, its not nearly such a one-note experience of bottomless despair. (As is repeatedly suggested by ALL of the kids in Grief Group.) There are often surprising moments of humor—which can vary from the sweet, to the absurd, to the morbid. There are moments of guilt, followed hard on the heels of forgetfulness and/or sparks of fleeting happiness or contentment. There are complex stages to grief, which people work through in their own individual ways and on their own unique timetables.

My concern here, ultimately, is that more fragile/vulnerable young readers going through something somewhat similar may come away from this story with precious little hope. There’s some attempt at ending on an up (or perhaps optimistically neutral) note, but the resolution feels rushed and contrived, with little explanation for one characters’ freefall turnaround—which only crops up in the last chapter or two. I don’t feel I can recommend it for those coping with a fresh loss.

"Here is what happens when your mother dies.

It’s the brightest day of summer and it’s dark outside. It’s dark in your house, dark in your room, and dark in your heart. You feel like the darkness is going to split you apart."

-heartbreaking and full of grief. This book had me sobbing. It was so amazing, the author writes so great. This book is great for any YA contemporary readers out there!

This was a dark but touching book about a girl named Tiger whose mother dies suddenly. Her journey is so realistic and sad. You could really feel Tiger’s pain, fear, and joy throughout the whole story. The book gives an interesting view into the foster care system and the process of grief, as well as relationships with family and friends. The reader is able to see Tiger’s incredible progress throughout the book as she learns to stand up for herself, make new friends, and see that she is not alone in the world.

This was such a tough read about the death of a parent and the foster care system. Like all Kathleen Glasgow's books, it was terribly sad but somehow also hopeful.

I apologize ... my life got busy and I forgot to download this book. I'm sorry I missed reading it!

How to Make Friends with the Dark introduces Tiger Tolliver, whose loving but overprotective single mother shields her from life. She decides to take a stand when her crush asks her to a school dance. On the way to school she mentions the dance and her mother withholds her permission and hounds Tiger all day at school, blowing up her phone with calls and texts. After ignoring her all day, Tiger finally answers the phone and says, "Why can't you f***ing leave me alone?" Later that day, she is at the park, experiencing her first kiss, when her mother drops dead of an aneurysm. Wracked with guilt, Tiger is thrown into Arizona's foster home system, where she is confronted with the harsh realities of many orphan's lives. Although her best friend Cake and her parents are willing to take her in, Tiger ends up with her 20-year-old half-sister, whom she hadn't previously met. Tiger's mom left behind many unpaid bills and her "Jellymobile" business, which the girls resurrect. Needless-to-say the sister is a less than ideal parent. The trauma and grieving process are explored in effective second person reflections on Tiger's inner turmoil: "You'll look alive on the outside, but be dead on the inside.

For years, it has only been Tiger and her mom. Even though her mother has no ability to #adult, Tiger still loves her mother. After Tiger’s longtime crush asks her to the dance, Tiger fights with her mother about going and the dress she will wear. As Tiger is having her first romantic interlude, she gets the call that her mother has died. Tiger’s life is upended and she is sent to live in foster care, even though her best friend’s parents offer to take her in. While Tiger’s social worker looks for next-of-kin, her tenuous living situation makes dealing with her grief much worse.

I liked Girl in Pieces much better because this book felt like an afterschool special. It felt like everything that could go wrong did, which made it less believable. I feel that the more compelling story was found in the foster care home, as opposed to Tiger’s story. There was one side character whom I loved (not completely getting into how she fits, so as not to give anything away). I think teen readers will enjoy it.

Kathleen Glasgow is so insanely talented, she makes you feel so much when you're reading her books. This one is no different. Its absolutely heart wrenching. My heart absolutely hurt for Tiger. This book keeps it so real, and really shines light on mental health and the struggles a person faces.

Going into How to Make Friends with the Dark I knew I was dealing with heart hitting, emotional prose that will leave me feel low, but nothing prepared me for the amount of emotions I feltl.
This book was heart wrenching in all it means!

I picked this book during a readathon, which was a HUGE mistake. You see, because so many bad things happened to our main character Tiger, it was really hard for me to speed through the story.
So I failed the readathon, but I got so much from this novel, that I’m not even sorry.
Some book just take time, and this is one of those books.
I wouldn’t have it any other way, because even though it was emotionally hard for me to process everything, by taking my time I think I got the most out of it.

The story follows Tiger who’s mother died suddenly. There were only two of them, so without the other parent, Tiger became the property of state, and not only does she grive her mother, but her life also completely changed.

The story talks about grief, friendships, family relationships, foster care and all kinds of domestic violence.
It is really an eye opening book and it makes reader question the system and justice.

The writing style is beautiful. There are many quotes I saved in my notes, that I’ll reread from time to time.
It is written in first person, following Tiger’s POV.

There is no romance in this young adult contemporary, so be aware of that (some readers will be happy about it I guess)!

In the end, I want to recommend How to Make Friends with the Dark to ya contemporary lovers who are looking for an emotional story without romance in it.

HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE DARK is a title that EVERYONE must read.

It's rare to find a novel that describes grief in a realistic way. Even more-so when that novel is in the genre of young adult fiction, where mourning and emotions are often either minimized so to keep the book "innocent" and not "controversial" or thrown under the rug within a page or two after trauma to keep the plot moving. I've found that characters tend to ignore grief, thinking grief makes them "weak" and "strength" is not allowing the trauma to affect you.

The issue is, this isn't realistic. In the "real world," grief affects everyone. Everyone mourns, and sometimes it's hard to move on.

HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE DARK made that exceptionally clear.

In this novel, the main character, Tiger, grieves throughout the majority of the pages. And even when she receives closure, she never forgets about her loss and her pain, never shoves it deep down inside and conveniently forgets about it. Her pain remains a part of her. It's not something to be forgotten. Peace, yes, and acceptance that in the end, all will be okay, but not absolute ignorance of the sadness.

I loved that Tiger was so realistic. I loved that she was so strong despite her grief, and even in moments of so-called "weakness," the "weakness" wasn't shamed. It was played off as normal - because it IS. Because everyone goes through moments of sorrow, of perceived weakness, and this doesn't make them bad... it makes them HUMAN.

HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE DARK is one of the most raw, realistic books I've ever had the pleasure to read. Please, please pick it up. Yes, you'll cry. A LOT. It's extremely emotional. But for all the reasons mentioned above, it's unlike anything else in the YA genre. Truly powerful.

"How to Make Friends with the Dark" was a dark and agonizing novel about the story of Tiger Tolliver. After Tiger's mother dies, she is faced with many hardships, including not knowing how to survive without her mother. As someone who has not had to deal with the death of a parent or endure the foster care system, this novel was an eye-opening look into the world of a child thrust into the system unexpectedly. The death of Tiger's mother is sudden and it seemed everything was going ok in Tiger's life. To suddenly be thrown into a world of the unknown with no family to count on it heart wrenching. Just like "Girl in Pieces", Glasgow's writing and knowledge of the things she writes about are impeccable and this story kept me engaged and wanting more with every page.

Thank you to Netgalley & Delacorte Press for providing me with an e-ARC of How to Make Friends with the Dark by Kathleen Glasgow in exchange for an honest review!

Content Warnings: Mentions of Suicide & Abortion, Drugs, Alcohol-Dependency, Domestic Violence

So, I’m playing ARC catch-up (which, btws, totally gonna take me forever) & lemme tell you, I’m pissed at myself, because of how long it took me to get to How to Make Friends with the Dark. This book is absolutely, without a doubt, magnificent.

First & foremost, How to Make Friends with the Dark is a book about grief. It is going to rip your heart out of your chest & toss it in a heart-shredder. & it’s not even gonna give you a second glance. You might, possibly, cry. Especially, if you have dealt with grief, yourself.

One of the hardest things in life is realizing that you & your loved ones aren’t granted immortality. Sorry. Death can just happen. Tiger, our How to Make Friends with the Dark MC, can tell you that. One second, Tiger is arguing with her mother on the phone & the next, her mother is just dead.

How to Make Friends with the Dark is so beautifully crafted. It’s so easy to fall into Kathleen’s Glasgow’s writing & moments later, realize you haven’t moved out of bed for hours. One of my favorite portions of How to Make Friends with the Dark is when the writing falls into second person & it directly places you in Tiger’s head; as if everything’s happening to you. It definitely adds more umph to the emotional level of this read.

Tiger goes through a lot in this read; such as landing in a couple of different foster homes & finding out about family members that she never knew existed. Her journey is definitely something & a majority of it isn’t happy. If you like angst-filled reads, this is definitely a book for you.

The LGBT component is very small, but it’s definitely there. We have a lesbian character & a bi-sexual character & I really enjoy the fact that it was so casually sewn into How to Make Friends with the Dark.

How to Make Friends with the Dark also dabbles with the found-family trope. Which, y’all, I'm a sucker for. I’m pretty sure How to Make Friends with the Dark has just about everything I love in a contemporary read.

I’m gonna be one-hundred with ya, it’s hard to put into words how wonderful How to Make Friends with the Dark truly is. It is extremely depressing & touches on subjects that we don’t typically wanna discuss. But it’s a story about learning how to go on & finding your way in the dark. I do strongly recommend this read, but please don’t expect to be happy through 98% of it. It’s heartbreaking & beautifully written. I would definitely read more of Glasgow’s work.

This book didn't hit me in the feelings as much as I anticipated it would. I couldn't really connect/get into it; I don't know if it was the writing or how one-dimensional the characters were. However, I *did* feel for our main character if only on a base level.

This book dealt with a tough subject. A young girl's mom dies, and as far as she knew, this was her only living relative. She has to deal with the new reality of foster care and learning to care for herself and make her own decisions. Her mom had been very protective so she hadn't really even been able to pick out her own clothes before. It takes you into her world and how she now views her relationships with classmates, school, and the rest of her life.

For me, I lost my dad when I was 17 (but still had a mom and siblings). I am much older now, but it made me really look back on that time in my life and realize that I probably should have talked to a counselor or a therapist. I made some not so great decisions in the five years following his death that have affected my entire life. When you are going through the loss of a parent, it is hard to see how it is really affecting your mental state - it isn't until after that you realize how things changed. I could have really benefitted from this book just to help me realize that the feelings I had were normal and learn how to navigate those waters that overtake you when you lose a parent.

Disclaimer: This book will rip you to shreds, tear your heart to pieces, and put it all back together again. Maybe. I'll say it now - How to Make Friends with the Dark is one of the best portrayals of grief and regret I've ever encountered. Fantastically written, utterly heartbreaking, it will leave you sobbing, but you'll enjoy it.

I have no words for how phenomenally this book was written. With every word, every action, every quiet moment in this book, you feel Tiger's pain, grief, and heartbreak. Glasgow's strong imagery and fantastic narration pulls you into the book and keeps you there, drifting in a world of grief that's not your own, but you can't help but be caught up in the moments of brokenness and emptiness Tiger has inside her. I honestly don't know how to sell you on this book. Just that everyone should read it to understand grief - to prepare for it, to heal from it, to understand it. This book helped me feel like I wasn't alone in my grief - it by no means healed it (this is not a book you should read if you want to be happy), but it was a stepping stone in my road to recovery from grief. Glasgow's depiction of grief is just so realistic it's dug its claws in me and I can't seem to get them out. I don't know if I want to. This book wins for my favourite so far of 2019. Of maybe all the books I've read in the past 10 years. It was that good.

Not only does Glasgow address grief, but she also looks at the foster care system. She gives a peek into a world that isn't made for the fainthearted. A world of abuse, negligence, self-harm, addiction, and broken homes. I'm glad she doesn't delve too deeply into this world, as the book is heartbreaking enough, but she does enough to make readers wonder if we could doing more for the kids who are trapped in the system, whether by choice or by circumstance.

Honestly, I don't know what else to say. This is a fantastically written book about a really hard subject. How to Make Friends with the Dark is a book that will stay with you loooong after you've put it down.

Plot: 5/5
Characters: 5/5
Writing: 5/5
World Building: 5/5
Pacing: 4.5/5
Overall: 5/5
GoodReads Rating: 4.26/5

eARC received via Indigo Books & Music via NetGalley.

This was one of those books that felt like it was missing something. That parts of it was really good but others weren't. The writing was a little off and at times characters just seemed to far fetched. I think this is just going to be one of those titles that you either like it or you don't. I have heard people compare this one to Girl in Pieces and that this one is way darker than that one. So if that is your thing I would check it out.

This book is about a girl who lost her mother suddenly and has to deal with her death. She has to grieve in her own way like each of us who has lost someone we loved. This book was important and the end of the book (and the author's note) made me tear up a little bit. The topics of this book are important so that's why I gave it 4 stars. My enjoyment of it, however, was around 3 stars.

I never really managed to get into this book as an ebook so once it was released, I listened to the audiobook. I'm not a big fan of contemporary books in general but if you are looking for a contemporary story about grief following a teenager, then you might really like this one.

(Thank you to the publisher for letting me read and review an ARC via Netgalley)

Would you like a super difficult, emotionally gut-wrenching, and painful read? Would you like to cry? Like a lot? Then get this book. It was hard to get through, not because it was bad, but because it was so good and so accurate for everything a person feels when not just a parent but hope dies. I needed this when I was 10, when I was 15, I needed this now. I just didn't know it.

It was so good. And so hard. But so worth it.