Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC of this title. I attempted to read it and was not compelled to finish.

A topic not easy to read for anyone, yet an eye-opening memoir that explores the areas of consent beyond physical interactions. I really appreciated how straightforward Freitas was in her recollection of events, despite how greatly traumatizing it likely was to write it all out. While I have not been through what Freitas has experienced, her writing of gaslighting and lingering trauma is something that I believe many women (and men) could relate to.

This was a difficult story to read. Both because of the content and the raw truthfulness. I wish I liked the writing more. But the story and bravery it took to write is seen.

Donna Freitas' account of what happened to her by the hands of a professor stalking her is a story that needs to be told over and over again.

I did struggle with the book sometimes, found it too long and dragging at times, but I am glad I stuck with it.

A recommended read about what goes on at college campuses and how this kind of situation is handled.

As a woman in her early 20s, Donna Freitas happily accepted the invitation to a Catholic university to pursue her Masters and a PhD in Philosophy and Theology. A bright and enthusiastic student, she enjoyed talking to her professors during office hours --- especially her elderly mentor, who was also a Catholic priest.

Somehow, little by little, things started getting weird between them. It all began with an invitation to a play, followed by letters and phone calls, and then eventually turned into stalking. At first, Freitas thought it was just her imagination, but after a while, she became very aware that this situation was heading in the wrong direction. Yet she decided to remain silent, hoping that everything would go back to normal. But when her professor somehow inserted himself into all spheres of her life, she resolved to do something to stop this unwanted attention.

This all might sound like the plot of a good thriller, but unfortunately CONSENT is a memoir, and Freitas lived through this nightmare during her first two years of graduate school. The book is divided into four parts. First, Freitas tells how it all started and how her professor indirectly declared his love for her. Next, she continues to recount the stalking nightmare that was part of her daily existence. Then, she describes what she endured when she made the brave decision to tell her colleagues, some professors and the university’s administration what was happening. Finally, she updates readers on her life after getting her PhD and the consequences of both being stalked and speaking up about it.
<a href="https://www.bookreporter.com/reviews/consent-a-memoir-of-unwanted-attention">Bookreporter</a>

When Donna Freitas was a graduate student, one of the leading professors in her field, who is also a priest, developed a crush on her and relentlessly pursued her and stalked her. In Consent: A Memoir of Unwanted Attention, Freitas tells her strange, troubling story.



At first, she was happy to be in his class. He was a leading expert, renowned in his field, and she knew it was a privilege to be under his tutelage. She frequently took advantage of his office hours, and was thrilled to gain his attention and interest in her academic work. But then he began to seek more personal interactions, and his interest became more flirtatious and too personal. As she tried to draw back from the relationship, he began to impose himself even more into her life.



In many ways, he was careful to behave in ways that would seem innocent. A personal note, a phone conversation with Freitas's mom, a "chance" meeting--these things alone seem totally appropriate. But when added up and repeated for a long period of time, it became a pattern of unwelcome attention, far beyond the accepted norms of professor/student or male/female relationship. Freitas found herself in a bind because of the power her professor could wield over her professional future in her academic field.



This is a fascinating story, but ultimately I kept asking myself, Why didn't she do something sooner? Why didn't she say anything to other professors or administrators? Of course, she asks herself the same things. Her inaction was, in part, due to the slow, relentless way he wormed himself into her life. To her credit, she grew in strength and confidence to the point that she could speak up and advocate for other women (and, presumably, men) in similar situations. (Although I am so curious to hear his side of the story. He remains anonymous.)



As a reader, this book grew tiresome to me. As much as I know I shouldn't say this, she comes across as whiny for much of the book. It's just a bit annoying. Also, if you anticipate a thoughtful, broad look at consent, Title IX, rape, and sexual assault and harassment on college campuses, this is not the book. I'm not saying Freitas's case is totally unique, but it seems like an unusual case that is not representative of other Title IX type cases around the country. So I feel bad for what Freitas went through, but I don't feel enlightened on the overall issue.





Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

I received an advance digital copy of this book from the author, publisher and Netgalley.com. Thanks to all for the opportunity to read and review. The opinions expressed in this review are my own.

Ms. Freitas' memoir is disturbing and completely unsettling. It will stay with you well after you are finished reading it. Scenes could be triggering, this should be read with caution.

5 out of 5 stars. Recommended reading.

This was a great book. It wasn’t my typical read but it was gripping and held my interest all the way through. I would read more by this author.

Heavy subject matter, and reading about this in memoir form was difficult. I didn't want to be reading about these things, but it's important, especially hearing them directly from the person who experienced them. Dark and difficult, but well-written.

An amazing book by Donna Freitas, who was stalked by her professor for 2 years. Her story has been called "compelling and disturbing" it's true. It's hard to imagine how this man highjacked her life, invaded her family and wreaked havoc on her career. A terrific read!

Trigger Warning!
Stalking and Harassment

Reading this was difficult in some ways. At many points I've actually held my breath in anticipation of what was gonna happen next. I can only imagine how Freitas must've felt through this whole ordeal. What was frustrating however was the amount of excuses she would make to make it seem like the behavior of her stalker was....normal? or out of concern?
Freitas was a grad student in D.C. She was really excited to start her journey for her Phd. She even encountered a "mentor/professor" in the field she was going for. She thought he would be a role model, someone she could go to for help, but instead she quickly realized what a bad idea that was. "Father L" became her stalker. He was everywhere. In the staircases, in the hallways, and in between classes. It was too coincidental. He started visiting her in her home without her telling him her address. Come to find out he looked up her files in the office. He also started sending her unsolicited mail to her home. Father L even went as far as becoming a fixture within her family. As Freitas mother was sick with cancer, Father L began writing letters to her!

Freitas is a great writer. She takes you on this gut wrenching journey. Often questioning whether her sense of style is what made Father L act upon his thoughts. There was no sexual assault thankfully. There were instances where Freitas was hoping maybe some type of physicality would happen so it would be easier to tell someone about it. In the story she wrote about how poorly people acted towards her complaints about harassment. Almost like no one cared because it would tarnish their reputation. It's so sad and disgusting how little action is taken when a woman comes across this type of situation. Freitas will be scared about this for years to come, and the fact that the person who did this to her is supposed to be a priest made it even more disgusting. I'm hoping Freitas can have a peace of mind again one day, maybe after that awful man passes away or something (I know, harsh).
I would like to thank NetGalley and Little Brown and Company for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

#NetGalley

A Memoir of Unwanted Attention by Donna Freitas is a compelling and disturbing memoir of a grad student being salked by her college priest-professor and how its impacted her life and career ever sense! This was a hard read but I'm so glad I read it! Thank you to Littlebrown and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my review!

This was an uneasy, but somewhat familiar read. It's hard to rate this book because of the subject matter. On the one hand the author needs to detail this creepy pursuit, but on the other, I hate reading about it. She meets a good balance.

Donna Freitas is in graduate school, working towards her goals, while being stalked by her professor - who is also a priest.

This is a telling memoir that helps us to understand how innocently a bad situation can start and how fast it can spiral out of control. It's also gives us an in-depth look at how Donna, as a victim, felt and thought, and ultimately dug herself a deeper grave. She expertly explains how she ended up blaming herself for her professor's behavior and why she felt she couldn't speak up - and I'm sure speaks for a lot of victims who have ended up feeling the same. She speaks raw and true feelings about what had happened to her, how it made her feel, and how it, in the end, changed her life, and I commend her for it.

Although it may seem repetitive, I think it's indeed a necessity in this book. The more actions that aren't "ok", the better to get the point across how obsessed her professor truly was. It never stopped and the repetitiveness is real-life. A powerful read!

Thank you to NetGalley, Donna Freitas and Little, Brown and Company.

Unfortunately, I *really* struggled.to finish this book. The premise, the issue of what consent means in today's culture and how it has evolved in the last few decades, was promising. However, I found the author's framework for exploring the issue of consent (the sexual harassment and stalking she endured in grad school) exhausting to pull through, it simply dragged on....and on ..... and on..... For what felt like over 3/4 of the book. Around the midpoint, I started skimming and for the rest of the book felt I was dragging myself through mud just to keep on reading.

Freitas delivers interesting prose and well-crafted storytelling, with a surprising amount of recalled details from her past, which drew me in at first. But as she continued to describe, and describe, and describe even more, all of the crazy things her stalker did, the shock and outrage was replaced by yawns and boredom. We get it-- he was creepy and awful. He was powerful and important in your field of study. He was a priest, Catholicism is important in your family. We get all of it. The repetitiveness just became too much.

And then, oddly, she glossed over what ACTUALLY happened to the professor after Freitas spoke up. The details of the lawsuit are barely mentioned. What she ended up doing when she decided to leave her field of study is mentioned, almost, in passing. After ALL the build up of how IMPORTANT this professor was and going on and on about how would affect her entire professional life, the author leaves us hanging, a bit, as to what *actually* happened to punish him and how she *actually* dealt with it professionally.

On balance, the book held promise, was solidly written in the first half, but really lost steam about midway through, and became skimming material at about the 60% mark. I cannot say I'd recommend this book, and I hate even saying that because I appreciate how much work, energy, emotional bandwidth and personal sacrifice writing a book entails.

This is one of those memoirs that really should be in today's political, social, and cultural climate. This book has some really strong messages and points to contend with that should be addressed more often. This wasn't a fun book to read, perse, but an important one that I am very glad I finally got to read.

A brilliant memoir authored by a woman, Donna Freitas, who had aspirations of becoming a professor. Unfortunately, she suffered an enormous setback in her journey when one of her professors, a priest, became obsessed with and started to stalk her. Consent is an incredibly powerful read about finding your voice, fighting back, and the self doubt that surrounds us all.

This is such an important topic and could be a good book with some heavy edits. I feel like Freitas' book isn't telling her story in the best way.

A little advice for those who will be reading Dr. Donna Freitas' new book: prepare to be enraged. I say this because what the author went through during her time in graduate school was enraging. It was frustrating, frightening, and just plain ridiculous. She should have been concentrating on school and boyfriends and life as a young student. Instead, she had to deal with a professor who stalked her in ways I didn't know a person could be stalked. As I read this harrowing book of events, I felt the frustration and complete surprise Dr. Freitas felt each time this professor crossed another line. At one point, I threw my phone down (luckily it was thrown onto a soft surface) after reading yet ANOTHER time this "man" invaded her life. By the time I was done reading, I hated this professor almost as much as Dr. Freitas.

In Consent, Dr. Freitas relives a time in her life that has affected her to this day. The lengths her stalker went to in order to invade her life was mind-boggling. I felt complete nothing but rage because she was failed at every turn by her professor, and her graduate school. I was angry because she went through the stalking all alone because she felt like she couldn't talk to anyone about it. It makes me so happy that this book has been written because I strongly believe it will help other young women who may be going through the same thing. Consent is a must read and I encourage everyone to read it.

Thank you NetGalley & Little, Brown and Company for the digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I knew that this book would be a hard read for me before i even requested it.
It was a powerful read and i applaud her for having the courage to write it.

As a person who has been through something like this i prefer to think of myself as a survivor and not a victim.

I do not think that i could recommend this to anyone because its so disturbing and just really hard to read.
however i do rate it three stars .