Trapped by Alexandra Karb

This book started out as a letter written by the author to the man who would become the author’s second husband. It details the memories of her 23 years with a man who was verbally abusive throughout their relationship. It tells some of the experiences she had while giving some insight into how her life came about as it did. It is not an easy book to read because it tells of a woman trapped in a situation without a way to get free and also keep her children.

Here I have to say that having lived in Jordan and Saudi Arabia I know of what the author speaks when talking about the customs, foods, lands and people. I know the laws that say a child belongs with the father if there is a divorce. I have known women who were brought to a country under false pretenses and stayed in difficult marriages to be there for their children. I have also known women who have lost their children or met children who lost their mothers when a divorce has taken place. This story hit home in many ways.

That said, I also have to say that not all marriages of western women to Arab men end up as this author’s did. There are many of my friends that have loving husbands and happy families. I have been married to my Lebanese husband for over forty years. It is not always easy to live in a culture that is not your own but it does help to have a relationship that includes commitment, communication and respect and Ms Harb did not find that in her relationship with Tareq.

I can’t say I enjoyed reading this book because the story was not a happy one and I kept wishing I could find a solution that would erase the 23 years the author experienced. I did wonder at the end of the book what happened later. Did Tareq disappear from the picture entirely? Did the daughters find happiness in their own lives? Did the author find peace and companionship with her second husband?

Thank you to NetGalley and Guernica Editions-Miroland for the ARC – This is my honest review.

3-4 Stars

Alexandra Karb's memoir is about the horror stories we read when one parent takes children to a foreign country where the other parent does not have legal rights to reclaim her children. Alexandra, born in Germany, first moves to Canada with her parents after WWII when opportunities to get good jobs were still rare in Germany.

This book describes an exceptionally gifted young girl who studied hard and managed to get into university and work to stay at the top of her class. She fell in love very young, and a pregnancy disrupted her studies. She managed to get back on track when her parents agreed to take care of her small child.

For the next twenty years, this good woman became the mother of three additional children and the wife of a verbally and psychological monster. Her abuser made her life particularly difficult by requiring moves to Jordan, Saudia Arabia, and many moves all over Canada. Tareq didn't work, and everyone who helped him to start new businesses lost their money.

This book is worth reading to understand the female side of Islamic culture and the inner workings of a woman who suffered outrageous indignities and pain because she chose the smooth talker and ended up with a cowardly loser. This book is so informative and heartbreaking at the same time.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read an advance copy of this book.

It is so sad to read that, Alexandra being the independent and intelligent woman in the 70's in a progressive country like Canada, couldn't get justice! I cannot fathom the pain she went through when she had to wait to write her exams before going to Jordan (when her separated husband takes them to Jordan, his homeland without informing Alexandra) to get her kids; consciously making the decision, so that she could give a good life to her kids or the time when she was forced to think about putting Irene (her eldest daughter) for adoption, all so that her soon to arrive child can have a father's name. I like that she makes each decision after much thought and research always, but sometimes luck really runs out!
The author tells us that it was dissociation and alienation that led her to tolerate her life with her then husband, so that he does not take away his daughters to his homeland again where as we read the kids belong to the father's family; the mother has no right over them. What dissociation did to Alexandra, as she writes took years of therapy to be reversed, yet she remained true to her work to give a good life to her daughters.

Ultimately when the two elder daughters are adults, Alexandra decides her abusive husband and her daughters support her! The divorce brings us to the end of the book. I would have liked to know more about her therapy; how she recuperates; how she meets her husband J, what her daughters grew up to be, especially Irene.

Thank you NetGally for providing me with a free copy to read this book before its release. It was one of the most pacy memoirs I have ever read.

4/5

This was something else to read. I just can't believe how many years she has been stuck with that man. Seriously, I have no idea how she has done it.
On another note, this was highly interesting. We see different facet of the culture and of the people in Jordan. The author as a simple way to writhe, which shows no judgment whatsoever and this was a really good point for this book.
I do recommend to read this, only if to know more about this culture and these people. Because they are not all bad but
, the author was naive and wanted to believe in the good of him. It's important to read these kinds of book and story, only just to be informed.
Also, what the hell happened in the first trial? I'm ashamed of our justice system that trapped her for good.

*<i> I would like to thanks the team who gave me an advance ARC of this!*</i"

There have been many books written about children who have been abducted by their father and taken to an Arab country. And yet, this book had a profound effect on me. I thought it was very well written and the imagery was superb. Highly recommended