hrough her deeply personal memoir, Austin shares her journey as a single black woman navigating the complexities of adoption and motherhood in a society where white families are often privileged and prioritized. With honesty and insight, she sheds light on the challenges and triumphs of raising children of color in predominantly white spaces, challenging prevailing narratives about motherhood and family. While the book is at times heart-wrenching and confronting, Austin's resilience and determination to create a loving home for her children shine through, inspiring readers to confront their own biases and work towards a more inclusive and equitable society. "Motherhood So White" is a compelling and necessary read, deserving of its four-star rating for its courage, honesty, and relevance in today's cultural landscape.

Motherhood So White is a memoir that I picked up because I wanted to see a Black woman’s experience in parenting centered. Often, conversations about parenthood are colorblind, and use whiteness as a default when parenting Black children is far more nuanced. What I read was a robust memoir that examines numerous aspects of Black parents raising Black children specifically.

As expected, Motherhood So White is deeply personal. Austin provides a great deal of detail about her own upbringing, including her complicated relationship with her biological parents and how that led to her being reared by her extended family. Her reflections on the desire to become a parent, and eventual path toward adoption, provide further opportunities to highlight parenthood from several lenses. She considers economic barriers and their impact on the nuclear family. She examines implicit biases and how they impact children’s experiences in the educational and social services systems. She also spends a great deal of time sharing her eventual experiences as a single mother to a Black son and navigating everything from her own family’s acceptance, trips to the barber shop, parent-teacher conferences, reuniting her son with his biological family, and navigating bias incidents as her son ages.

Austin’s voice throughout the book is conversational and authentic. She’s transparent about her own perceived shortcomings and insecurities, something that is often missing in conversations about parenthood, regardless of identity. It very much feels like the reader is on a journey of growth toward and through parenting with her. What is of note, however, is that the more casual tone allows her to examine issues with a more critical lens without the tone of the book turning sterile. She alludes to historical incidents and social phenomena but stops short of dropping hard data and statistics throughout the book. The effect is that it comes across as less scholarly like a textbook and feels more accessible with this approach.

What I found most interesting was her lens of being a prospective parent for both fostering and adoption. She gives a great deal of detail about the process she engaged in in California, from screening, training, placement, and more. As someone without first-hand experience in social services, I found this particularly enlightening. She clarified common misconceptions, confirmed others, but provided in-depth information at all turns.

Motherhood So White presents a refreshing and critical perspective, and should be included on reading lists for those rearing Black children. While the experience of adoption is centered, anyone who finds themselves as a care-giver to Black children should consider the perspectives Austin presents throughout this book.

Thankyou to netgalley, the publishers and author for the copy of this novel. Their generosity has no influence on the rating i gave this novel.

As a black mom I usually see the standard set by white moms. It’s there in advertising, movies, and even most famous influencers they set the standard of what motherhood should be like. But raising black children is different and with so much happening now you see how easy it for a black man or woman to be shot and or killed, no matter how good or bad your parenting is. So this book helps to know that I am not alone. That I don’t have to follow the status quo to be a great mother. I just need to guide my children into a brighter future and hope they lead full happy lives.

**I received a free copy from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review**

Noticing that a lot of motherhood books were discussed through a white lens, Nerfertiti Austin decided to write a book about her experience as a Black woman becoming an adoptive mother. This book does a nice job of balancing being a memoir about Austin and her journey to motherhood and providing insight into the foster and adoption process as a Black woman. The thing to remember is this is first and foremost a memoir and not study of race and parenting. It provides a lot of social and racial context, but ultimately it is Austin's story. The writing is very accessible and as a thirty-something bi-racial Black woman who has no interest in having children, I was engaged throughout the book. I actually have a desire to read more about fostering and adoption in a more academic way.

I think this is a good resource for those who are looking to foster or adopt. At the end of the book, Austin includes interviews with other women who have done the same thing as her which I think is very helpful.

Being a mom, this was a highly relatable novel. I liked the tone in which it was written because it felt light even though the writer delved deep.
This book brings up significant issues and it feels as though you are discussing them with your best girlfriend.
Highly recommend

Thank you for the opportunity to read this. I will be posting a full review to Goodreads, Amazon, and Instagram.

There is great value in reading memoir, regardless of the topic. We all need stories to connect with - to help us feel that we belong and that our experiences are shared with others. I read this immediately after reading Ta-Nehisi Coates' book, Between The World and Me, and found it to be a fitting follow-up read.

Motherhood So White was written out of Austin's frustration over the erasure of black motherhood in literature - specifically, single black motherhood in the adoption community. Although I believe her book will help to reverse that erasure, I found it difficult to connect with her story completely. I am not a single black mother in the United States, but I am a black mother, and for me I felt disconnected throughout the entire book. I wish that Austin had written more emotion into the story and added more depth to the already sparse dialogue. This may have helped to draw me in, but unfortunately, I wasn't fully committed and found it to be a difficult read. Regardless, Motherhood So White will definitely serve its target audience of the single black adoptive mother.

Thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks for the advance copy of this book, and to Nefertiti Austin for sharing your wisdom on a challenging topic.

I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

When Austin made the decision to adopt as a single Black woman, she couldn't find a single resource for mothers in her situation. She set out to create one. This book provided a glimpse into how our culture associates motherhood with whiteness and overlooks and disregards the love and sacrifice of Black mothers. I was particularly struck by her chapter regarding raising Black boys in a country that expects them to be hyper-masculine and her efforts to tackle it head on.

I wanted to like this book so much. I was excited when I heard about it. When finally given the opportunity to read it I devoured every page. We need more books telling the stories of adoptive parents who are not white. I know that many will stumble upon this book in an effort to find a story that is similar to theirs and for that I am glad.

There is much to like about Nefertiti Austin and I hope her story will be given a platform to be told for more adoptive families. She is funny, smart and connects with her readers well.

The part of the book I read was interesting, but I'm just not motivated to pick it up and read it anymore. I'm 33% in and she still hasn't adopted her son and I'm just kind of over it. It feels more like an agenda than it does an adoption story at this point.

A beautifully and well written book. The research that was done helped form a thoughtful and heart filled story of parenting from a single parent point of view. I also appreciated the look into the foster care system and the stereotype that has historically taken place regarding the children that are in the system and seeking adoption.

I really enjoyed this memoir on motherhood from a perspective so different than my own. One of my goals for this year was to try to read books from people whose life experiences and racial backgrounds were different than mine. This book was one of my favourites in that way. I felt like my eyes were opened to the way the experience of motherhood can be so different from women who are not part of the majority culture, and found some of my own biases and stereotypes being checked and challenged. I highly recommend this book.

Motherhood So White, written by Nefertiti Austin, is a memoir about the journey of adopting her son August. The story starts with the all too common scenario of the broken African American household. Both of Nefertiti’s parents were in and out of her life and were never able to give her the unconditional love and stability that she and her brother needed. The siblings soon moved in with their grandparents and were given all the necessities that they needed. Although they were happy with their living situation, Nefertiti still felt insecure. She worried about her parents coming back into their lives and often resented those who questioned or didn’t understand her living situation. She maintained relationships with her parents, all the while remaining with her grandparents. The strong forces that her grandparents were provided her with the foundation that she still lives by to this day. Having an unconventional home life in a way prepared her for Motherhood and the wants and desires she wanted for her own family.
I found it interesting when she talks about the African American community when it comes to adoption. She is correct, the majority of times, children are sent to live with Grandparents. Aunts, Uncles, or other distant relatives. Usually, this is a “temporary” living condition until the parents can get back on their feet. Legal adoption doesn’t come into play, and the caregivers miss out on various programs and benefits that could be beneficial to them. Choosing to adopt is a life-changing decision for anyone. Becoming a Mother is something you learn along the way. When looking for resources to guide her through her new role, it was apparent the parenting books she found weren’t targeted towards women and children of color. This, in turn, inspired her to write this book. It is an excellent book read for women of all nationalities. Reading Motherhood So White will give you insight into other cultures and the challenges that are faced on a daily basis. There were reference materials included at the conclusion of the book, including interviews with other Mothers sharing their adoption stories.

This memoir of adoption and motherhood by Neferiti Austin also provides a much needed voice of black women adopting black children. She covers the process, dealing with birth families, dealing with new forms of mansplaining, and funny moments like teaching her son to pee standing up.

I think the idea that unifies her experience with other experiences I've heard from adoptive parents is the importance of the community that emerges, which isn't always the people you had in your life before adopting.

This book was so good that my book club has picked it for our next read. For those exploring the possibility of a nonfiction book club you can't go wrong with this book.

This ARC was provided for review, but in no way affects the following impartial and unbiased review:
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4*
Pros: A fantastic autobiography that comprises a thorough account of being a Black adoptive mother of a Black boy. Explores the many steps before, during and after the adoption process. Gives amazing references for further study. Talks about stereotypes and expectations of White and Black communities and current society in general. Talks about issues centered in politics, religion, race and gender.
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Cons: Emotionally lacking for an autobiography, felt more like an essay/report.

This was an excellent book that I could not put down. I was right by the author's side as she told her story of adoption as a single African American woman. Her courage and bravery are a tribute to her determination to have the life she wants and to be a mom to her children. This is a must read.

Thank you to #netgalley and Sourcebooks for the ARC.

Wow!! This is such a new viewpoint on adoption and the ups and downs that come with it. I grew up as a biracial child in an all white family in a rural farming community in western PA. This was my mother's hometown and when we moved from DC to the family farm I quickly found out that everyone in town assumed that I was adopted. I grew up in that town from halfway through first grade straight through high school graduation and it never failed that each year at least 3 times someone asked me what it was like to be adopted. I found this offensive because if I had been adopted I wouldn't have wanted to be seen as "different" from any other kid growing up with their family. I understood why people would naturally come to this conclusion since my little brother was white and we looked nothing alike and neither of us looked like our mother but understanding didn't make it hurt any less.

I had always thought that I would someday adopt a Black child. In fact, wanted to adopt a couple of children from various ethnic backgrounds because I thought it would give them the opportunity to grow up appreciating all races and cultures. All children deserve the right to be happy, loved, and safe. Ms. Austin did exactly that. She noticed that throughout her life that in Black society we tend to unofficially adopt children from family members who can't take care of them or from friends or even sometimes neighbors. I have several friends who grew up with "sisters" or "cousins" who were not even actual family but were treated just as well as if they were. There is something beautiful about helping out these kids. Sometimes it really does "take a village" but it shouldn't matter what color your village is. The only thing that should matter is the well being of the child. It's true that there is an overwhelming amount of families (White) adopting Minority children. Ms. Austin adopting a little Black boy is something unique but it shouldn't be. She grew up as a minority in this country and all the negative that comes with it from time to time and there is something about being a Black person in the US that can't quite be passed on as effectively if you haven't lived that experience. I think it's a shame that people made Ms. Austin feel like she was doing something wrong. She is an amazing person and very brave to have written this book.

It's available today for purchase and I think it is a beautifully written story that should be read by everyone, not just those looking to adopt or who have adopted.

"Motherhood So White" by Nefertiti Austin was an enlightening book from a viewpoint that was new to me—a single black woman adopting a little black boy. Austin also shared her experience of "black adoption," where her grandparents basically raised her. I wasn't as familiar with the black tradition of only adopting extended family members or children you knew, and how much backlash she got for adopting through the foster system. She also had to do a lot to make up parenting as she went, not only because she was doing it alone but because she didn't have a very good example to rely on from her own parents, though her grandparents had filled in a lot of the gap. Basically, I enjoyed having my eyes opened to a cultural background that was different than my own and gaining new insights from it. Overall, motherhood is the same for us all, and as a mother myself I related to a lot of Austin's struggles in raising a little boy in a rough world—though my child won't have to face the same racial persecution that hers will. I think this is worth the read!