Cover Image: Fixing the Fates

Fixing the Fates

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Being adoptive myself I was drawn to this story. I found myself feeling for what she must have been going through when she received that letter which was from her birth father, especially after being told that both birth parents were killed. Following her journey was good as was her finding herself. I really enjoyed this book and found it to be a good read.

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Had to DNF at about 30% into it…. The story got too complicated and a bit boring for my liking.
Might give it another go at a later time.

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I very much enjoyed this book. At times I was furious for the author, but others I wanted a warm fuzzy ending for her. It was an interesting book!

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Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
This story of an adoptee's journey to find her biological parents and family is told with raw emotion and honesty. It is always interesting to see how lack of knowledge of one's own birth family impacts the adoptee. And I'm so happy for this author that she met her husband during this journey.

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Fixing the Fates An Adoptee's Story of Truth and Lies by Diane Dewey. She Writes Press. Biographies & Memoirs. Publication date: 04 June 2019. Kindle edition. 4 Stars.

An American adoptee unearths the shadowy secrets surrounding her birth and surrender to a children’s home in Germany in an artful style that is acutely perceptive, deeply yearning and, through an intricate path, ultimately conclusive. Though it seems that she will never know much about her earthly beginnings, the author’s charming Swiss father locates her at her adoptive parents’ home in America long after she has reached adulthood, yet engages in years of subtle subterfuge until she is finally able to know the reason for her unwed mother’s heartrending yielding of her much-loved baby.

I feel that this is a must-read for people on a similar path as the author has a deep understanding of the search for identity as it plays out in the lives of adoptees as well as other emotional damage that can trail invisible scars.

Thanks to the author, publisher and Netgalley for providing this ebook for review.

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The best part about this book was the narration / the writing. There was a great flow to the words and the clarity of the conflict of thoughts in the author's mind comes across in a pretty stark manner. Diane Dewey has always known she was adopted but that fact has always had a hold on her thoughts and actions and here she chronicles the time when she finally started to get some answers.

I picked this book up because I thought it would be interesting to see how the lack of knowledge of the past could factor into someone's present. The author is in her forties when the story begins. It seemed slow at first but picks up steam as soon as contact is made by her biological father. The constant back and forth of thoughts, loyalties and how genetics might play a role are predominant points of discussion here. The book spans a lot of time and a lot of things happen within that time frame. Relationships are forged, people meet and have an impact in another life all the while there is a constant barrage of questions plaguing the author as she tries to make sense of her life. Theoretically, it makes for interesting reading and it is meant to raise questions (as mentioned in the epilogue) and is a form of a call for action. It was a little long for my liking and although realistic (obviously), it was a little repetitive. I liked the book and really liked the writing.

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Fixing the Fates is a compelling read. Dewey embarks on a journey into her past to discover her birth parents. The road is a bumpy one. She discovers her birth father plays fast and loose with truths and her mother also held secrets. She discerns the essence of her birth mother and also discovers an extended family in different nuances. The author finds answers and ultimately, acceptance of how things turned out.

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Charity and Adeline are best friends, but are not equals. Adeline’s family circumstances have put her in the unpaid position as Charity’s companion – an essential tag=along for an unmarried woman in search of a husband in 1800s England.

Charity has broken her engagement and Adeline has not thought of marriage for herself. They are shuffled off in disgraces and Adeline is assigned the task of finding a husband for Charity with the threat of her family’s eviction hanging over her.

Will Adeline be a successful matchmaker? Does she dare pursue any dreams of her own? Will Charity settle for the potential husband that’s emerged? Each of them dance between being demure and being forthright. Will one of them overstep the societal expectations for young single women of the era?

A captivating read. Hope you enjoy it! Thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review this book.

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Thank you to Netgallery and the publisher for sharing this book!

Very nicely written - beautiful story about an adoptee and her search for identity.

I really liked this memoir. The story is nicely written so it grabs you from the very beginning. Even though I am not an adoptee, the protagonist's story can relate to everybody, as a quest for finding oneself.

This is a story about what family is and that family is what you make it to be.

I definitely recommend it!

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Thanks to NetGallery and She Writes Press for access to Fixing the Fates, a fascinating memoir about an adoptee’s search for her birth parents and information about the circumstances that led up to her adoption. I find I am increasingly drawn to memoirs about adoption as I am an adoptee and often see my own experiences reflected in these books.

Common wisdom at the time of Diane’s adoption was that providing an adopted child with details about her birth parents would be confusing and damaging to a child’s ability to form an identity and to bond successfully with the adopted parents. As I imagine many adoptees, and I personally, have found, the opposite is actually true. It is difficult to fully comprehend your identity if you lack information about why you look the way you do and have a certain set of characteristics/abilities. After all, the complexity of people is a result of a unique combination of nature and nurture. Diane’s parents and extended family members go to great lengths to keep her from finding out answers to questions she has about her birth parents and the circumstances leading up to her adoption...her adopted father going so far as to tell her untruthfully that both of her biological parents are dead.

As Diane discovers, a decision to search for information about one’s birth parents is often viewed as a betrayal, the adopted parents afraid of being usurped and the adoptee portrayed as ungrateful for the life they have been provided by the adopted family. Diane posits that adoptees sometimes feel that they have struck an unspoken bargain... Don’t ask questions about the adoption/seek information about your biological relatives, and your adopted parents will provide you with love and security. Making the decision to search for one’s adopted parents is not easy as it may result in life-altering consequences.

Despite her mother’s vehement disapproval (she actually told her “you do not deserve to know”), Diane decides to seek out information about her biological parents when the opportunity fortuitously arises. As I want readers to enjoy Diane’s journey without spoilers, I’ll end this review with two quotes she uses in the book that struck me as brilliantly summing up her search for the truth about her beginnings. “The truth isn’t always beauty, but the hunger for it is.” — Nadine Gordimer. “If you know whence you came, there are absolutely no limitations to where you can go.” — James Baldwin.

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