This book took me on a heart-wrenching, emotional roller coaster. McVicker just KNOWS how to write a story that penetrates into the deepest recesses of your heart and permeates into your very soul. I'm an instant fan!

*I received a complimentary ARC of this book in order to read and provide a voluntary, unbiased and honest review, should I choose to do so.

Not for me right now. Will circle back at some point and see how I feel about it then. I think I was expecting something different in this book and leaving a bad relationship earlier this year I still can’t read this

I received this via netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

I loved it guys. This book was just what I wanted It to be. The world setting was very good. The characters were very well flushed out. I loved the plot of this. I can not wait to read more by this author. I highly recommend this book.

This book has a captivating storyline that grabs you right from the start keeping you engrossed and on edge throughout the whole book!

It is wrought with emotion, and so well written that I absolutely could not put it down!

I received a copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.

I enjoyed this book but not as much as I thought I would. I actually thought it was more of a collection of stories rather than just one.

It took me a long time to read this book. I actually started it and ended up putting it down for quite a while before deciding that I had to finish it. Had…not wanted to. This isn’t because the subject matter was too hard or that the book wasn’t written well but because I felt there was a very robotic, repetitive and unemotional narration for a book that should have really tugged on the heartstrings. Perhaps this was by design but that disconnect, especially for a book with such an important message, didn’t make me feel what I would have expected. In fact, it didn’t really make me feel at all…

At Least He Wasn’t Hitting You is a book with a very powerful message and I do believe, with or without the emotional connection, that the point is very clear; just because someone isn’t hitting you does NOT mean that you aren’t being abused. This is a message that gets hammered in from the very beginning straight to the very last page. So many people out in the world tend to believe that they are not victims because there are no physical bruises but words are just as powerful as fists, if not more so and hopefully this book will help someone recognize that.

While I think Greg McVicker’s book is an important one and this is a story that needs to be told, I do get the feeling that it was more of a therapeutic release for his friend than anything else. I think that this is the type of “survivor story” that I would give to a friend that needed to be aware of the signs on non-physical abuse but not the book I would recommend to someone going through it.

At Least He Wasn’t Hitting You….an important message but I wouldn’t put it anywhere near the Self Help section.

One more thing….I just want to take a quick minute to applaud the author and his friend. This might not be the book I would choose to help someone in the throes of abuse but it takes a lot for a survivor to come forward (anonymous or not) and put their own experiences on paper for the world to see. It also takes a lot for someone to offer that person a platform to get it out.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with a copy of this book to read and give my honest opinion.

This was such a hard book to read. This book definitely hits on a very difficult and intense subject matter. This happens and it needs to be addressed and I think that this author did a great job handling it. Thank you NetGalley.

It was ok. I just wasn’t able to like it as much as I thought I would. I guess it had something to do with the fact that I don’t read much nonfiction and when I do it generally is something related to self-help. I was expecting something different.

The book tells a story about abuse and the possibility to overcome it. The thing is that, I get from the book, that getting out of such relationship is easier than it actually is. It bother me a lot. I know different people have different experiences but it felt that way from how the story was told. It was hard for me to connect emotions with the person telling the story. There are a lot of heartbreaking stories and I just didn’t felt the emotions I would expect from such experiences. That is a big issue for me, whenever I read a book, that’s one of my major goals, to feel and this time, it just didn’t happened.

What I did like about it was the fact that sharing such experiences, give a voice to abuse and make people realize it exists in a lot of different ways. It might not be the right book for me, but I would recommend it for people who are interested in knowing more on the subject.

A harrowing, gripping story of a woman's fight for survival. A must read, both for domestic abuse survivors, current victims, perpetrators and victim support circles.
I recognised myself in this tale. I'm sure many people will too.
Devoured in one sitting - 5 stars.

I was grateful to receive this ARC from Netgalley in exchange for my honest opinion
#atleasthewasnthittingyou #netgalley

I tried reading this book, and really did find it well-written and interesting - but also triggering. Being a survivor of domestic abuse myself, it simply hit too close to home. Since I was abused physically too, people always assume that that was the first part - that's not true. The worst part is the psychological abuse that made it possible for him to hurt me physically without me putting up a fight. The worst part was that when the physical abuse finally started, I believed him when he said that it was my fault. That everything bad that happened was my fault.
This memoir on psychological, emotional and financial domestic abuse is SO important, but I couldn't read it - the flashbacks were too bad.
5 stars nonetheless though. This book tells a brave story, one that needs to be told.

At Least He Wasn't Hitting You is a story that needs to be told.
However, I was not impressed with the authors telling of this story.

I feel there was so much more the author could of done to get the story told. Just not something I would refer to a friend who was going thru the same situation.

Thank to netgalley and the author/publisher for the Arc for my honest review.

Trigger warning. Abuse



This memoir really hit home. I know there are so many other women out there, like me, that have experienced this pain and abuse. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. This should be a required read. So many young women need to know abuse isn’t always beatings.

Beautifully written.

Abuse doesn't always have to be physical. At Least He Wasn't Hitting You tells of a woman whose husband has never laid a hand on her, but instead he attacks her with words and insults that strip away at her sense of worth and self. Her story is told to us by the author, who does a poor job of it.

I wanted to like this book because this is a topic I respect and feel for. Unfortunately, the author makes it hard to resonate with the victim and content due to the amateurish storytelling. I also did not like the tone; while this might have been a story told to the author verbally (?), it is still presented in an e-book and as such, it should have been polished and edited to suit the platform.

The introduction was convoluted and there was a lack of clarity; I couldn't tell at first if the author meant that he had one or two female friends who went through domestic abuse. He then repeats the same thing in the final chapter. The whole book lacks organisation, clarity and heart.

The story got so dull that I took a hiatus from the book and went back to it only because I made myself (I don't have a habit of not finishing books). To be honest, I skipped the last chapter because it was really boring and irrelevant with all the supernatural rambling... couldn't relate to any of it and I didn't see a point in wasting my time. Note that this is a rarity for someone who not only never finishes a book, but actually makes it a point to read every single page including author's notes and acknowledgements. But not this time.

The author's friend should have just told her story herself anonymously. Meh.

I've put off reviewing <i>At Least He Wasn't Hitting You</i> by Greg McVicker for a lot longer than I normally would due to the nature of the book and the volatile, sensitive topic that it discusses. Normally, this would not be a huge issue for me as I find these books important, but unfortunately, <i>At Least He Wasn't Hitting You</i> has a lot of problems. And this isn't something I like to say about personal memoirs detailing the abuse that a person had to deal with for a period of their lifetime, especially as I have been through that myself. And I was excited to see this book, to have a memoir out there that would shed light on the fact that physical abuse is not the only form of abuse in a relationship. The damage that a person can cause to another over emotional abuse is real and it's imperative, in my opinion, that more people are made aware of this fact. Often times people claim that abuse is not abuse when a person is not being beaten, which could not be farther from the truth. And while I do believe that society as a whole is becoming more aware, I still feel that it's important to continue that path.

<i>At Least He Wasn't Hitting You</i>, while I'm sure was important and therapeutic to the victim, doesn't do a great job of continuing this education for two reasons: the first, and hardest part for me to read, lies in the narrator's imagining of what her husband <i>could</i> do to her or might be <i>planning</i> to do to her and the second comes from the author, a second party two whom she told her story who did an awful job of writing it for her. Now, I would never want to discount the things that a victim has been through, especially after such traumatic events have already been perpetuated in a large portion of their life. Let me be perfectly clear about the fact the horrors of the emotional abuse that this woman suffered are unacceptable and unforgivable on the part of her husband and the lack of support she found in those around her is despicable.

When recounting the events of past abuse, to add in scenes--and in this case I am referring to one scene in particular--where the person being abused is describing something that they could have seen happening and believed was a very real possibility in a way that makes it sound <i>very</i> real is adding a barbarism to the abuser that may or may not be there. It brings in a question of doubt rather than setting forth actual facts. And this is not to say I discount what she felt or believed nor that I disagree with the emotion of the moment, but rather that it is unnecessary to the point that it a) will make readers more uncomfortable for little reason, and b) can lead to others discrediting them for bringing it up in the first place which is precisely what one does not want when recounting truths of abuse. An actual fact would be the fact that she saw a gun. But following that with a deeply emotional rendition of the victim feeling as though she is already feeling the wound of a gunshot and to punctuate it with the repetition of "bang...bang...<i>bang</i>" as she <i>imagines</i> her husband shooting her when he never physically did so to exaggerate the moment and what she was feeling almost misrepresents everything that happened.

And I had a rough time with this not only because of the embellished descriptions that peppered themselves throughout the course of the book, but because it was readily apparent at times that the author was using extravagant language and exaggerated comparisons in order to make an already horrendous experience seem worse than it was and there was absolutely <i>no need</i> for it. This experience was already horrendously terrible and that was easily acknowledgeable without the author trying to shove it into our faces. And I'm not sure if this was a fault of the author's poor writing or the victim's poor recounting. This wasn't a poem about someone going through emotional abuse and I don't know why it was very nearly treated as such.

And finally, the book as a whole was just poorly written but it also went so far as to include some absolutely ludicrous and disturbing nonsense about a psychic experience in which the author apparently helped the victim speak to her now deceased abuser about their relationship and air all the complaints and horrors she felt she went through as his wife. This is the moment where I basically checked out, deciding then and there that this was perhaps the worst person possible to have written the book. I cannot believe the nonsense that was included at the end, this weird and disturbing description of feeling the abusive husband's presence within his body in a way that allowed him to relay messages from the victim to said husband. What could have been an insightful look into what people in emotionally abusive relationships have to suffer through became something almost exaggerated and that bit at the end was just unbelievably ridiculous.

And I feel truly devastated that this is the way I have left the book feeling because I do not in any way wish to leave a book about a topic this sensitive in this manner. I do not want the survivor of the abuse to have poor experiences after recounting her story. And hopefully, she doesn't. Regardless, I cannot quite get past how much these pieces of the book troubled me.

<i>I was provided a free copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.</i>

At Least He Wasn’t Hitting You...
Written by Greg McVicker
Published by @belfastchildpublishing
This book totally gripped me so much so this was read in one sitting.

Greg has written an amazing and very really account of how abuse is not just physical.
The writing is done in such a way that I was whiling for this poor woman to escape her vile husband.
It demonstrates how love can be blind and how some people can hide their true self away.
Yet this woman some how maintained her inner strength to finally leave this horrific marriage.
To finally build a life she deserves.

#bookcommunity #bookobsessed #reading #bookstagram #booknerd #bookaholic #bookrecommendations #bookreviews #ilovetoreadbooks #booksbooksbooks #readinonesitting #readersofinstagram #readerforlife📚

b>2 stars</b>

*Thank you to the author and Netgalley for giving me an ARC in exchange for an honest review*

Firstly I would just like to say that my low rating is in no way a judgement on the individual's experience or story. It is, however, a reflection of how poorly this personal story has been written and displayed by an author who does not seem to be very experienced in said department.

The way in which the story unfolded was very messy and disjointed, and so it came across as a very amateur first draft that got the ok without having any sort of rewriting or polishing. It's like he wrote down the story as he was receiving it and then just published it. Also, I find the cover to be misleading and completely unfitting to the book.

Memoirs like these are important to bring light to experiences of abuse that so many people suffer in silence with, but it's also important that they are done professionally to do them justice. Something that wasn't accomplished in this case.

This book is very special as the author writes for a client and expresses and describes her impressions and feelings in I form. The author has a good sense for the situation of his client. He listened carefully to her brutal story. He expresses clearly and sharply the feelings during this awful period of her life. It is basically a factual report. The language is very clear, several topics are described in detail. I was confronted with the crude f*-language …
It was surprising to see a bad situation lasting so long. After two months of marriage she was clear that her husband was a bad choice for her life. And there were so many signs of despair (alcoholism, language, behavior, miscarriages, music feelings, community work) during the ten years period to react properly and leave. I wonder that there was really no help like AA, a minister or priest, counseling services, relatives and more. At the end of the book, when the story ended, the author gives some reflections to this topic out of his experience as a social worker.
A good read, very helpful for people in despair.

At least he wasnt hitting you 4.75⭐️
I felt her pain and fear and it made my heart ache for her and anyone else suffering from abuse, physically or emotionally.
When reading about someones life there is a moment when as the reader if the book is well written that it seems like fiction. That whats happening couldnt, shouldnt happen to anyone and I had to remind myself that this happened to her. That she survived through this immense pain.
He was paranoid and aggressive and of course she would pull away but that only made him even more upset.
My final straw would have been no music. He didnt let her play piano because she was better than him so she was not allowed. I cannot believe how long she stayed with him. It is awful what he put her through and what she put up with for so long.
This was beautiful and heartbreaking.

“I am free physically but the heart and mind have their own timetable”

Thank you so much to booksgosocial via netgalley for sending me a copy of at least he wasnt hitting you by Greg McVicker. This is already available for your reading pleasure.
All opinions are my own.

At Least He's Not Hitting You by Greg McVicker

The story takes place in the early 1990's when women didn't talk about abuse, and suffered in silence. This isn't just one person's story, it's for every person who's ever suffered at the hands of their loved ones.

"Abuse, regardless of its presentation, is like a cancer. As humans, none of are immune to it. And just like cancer, none of us want it. Upon rearing its ugly presence, it takes hold in ways we never imagine." - McVicker

At Least He Doesnt Hit You is a heartbreaking true story of love, abuse, and the aftermath of it all. Her husband was the perfect gentleman til she made the mistake of saying "I do." Thats when everything changed, and for the worse. What started out as fights turned into verbal assaults and abuse. Not just behind closed doors, but also in the publics eye. Going unnoticed by her family and friends

"At Least He Wasn't Hitting You : A Personal Memoir of Abuse and Survival" by Greg McVicker.

5 stars.

Wow! Heartbreaking, touching, troubling, meaningful...
A scary reality that many can't even think about.

Well written. I couldn't put it down! It made me so sad and brought back some memories...
This will stay with me for a long time!

Everyone should read this book!

Thank you NetGalley and BooksGoSocial for the opportunity to read this book. This is my honest review. All opinions are my own.