Cover Image: I Hold Your Heart

I Hold Your Heart

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Member Reviews

I found this to be a difficult and incredibly unsettling read but I would definitely recommend it as it deals with important issues.

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Important subject and can't recommend it highly enough to every young woman. Characters are entirely believable, although I can't think of any teenager I know who loves country music.

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Thank you so much for allowing me to read and review your titles.
I do appreciate it and continue to review books that I get the chance to read.
Thanks again!

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I really think this needs to be mandatory reading in schools - at the very least it'll be going onto my recommended reads list for pshe & relationships. It's one of the best portrayals of an abusive relationship I've ever seen in a YA novel.

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Such an important book covering themes and issues that teenagers need to read about. It was so great to get the two viewpoints, and really eye opening.

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Unfortunately, I have not been able to read and review this book.

After losing and replacing my broken Kindle and getting a new phone I was unable to download the title again for review as it was no longer available on Netgalley.

I’m really sorry about this and hope that it won’t affect you allowing me to read and review your titles in the future.

Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity.
Natalie.

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I Hold Your Heart by Karen Gregory was a really heartbreaking yet beautiful novel for me as it details the wonders of young love as it slowly develops into obsession and something darker and toxic. If you like Forbidden or Stolen then I Hold Your Heart is definitely for you.

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This was a brilliant story, about a very important topic that was written so well. I really enjoyed it and read it super quickly, I could put it down!

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It was the cover that first attracted me to this book, which is ironic when it is actually labelled as being a “draft cover”. I actually like this cover and when you have completed reading the book, you know it does really fit it well. Its main colour is red which is associated with love & passion. Then there’s the barbed wire in a heart shape, which beautifully represents what the relationship between Gemma and Aaron becomes. The byline of "When Does Love Become Possession"....this also describes what Gemma and Aarons relationship comes.

The book is basically begins as a boy meets girl, the whole too and fro, of asking for a date and so on. Everything is fine to begin with, however all that soon changes.

We meet Gemma at the beginning of the book, a young girl who loves playing her guitar, writing songs, she works at the local beach café with best friend Esi and is part of a loving family. As part of this loving family she supports her younger brother Michael in his hopes for becoming a professional footballer by attending all his home games, her rather football obsessed father usually attends the away games too. Gemma has a best friend is Esi, but also has other friends like Cal who shares her love of music. Then there’s Phoebe, Beth and Rachael who she also hangs out with at college. It’s the first year Gemma and Esi have not had exactly the same classes with each other. Its because they have made different A level subjects. At least they can all meet up in the refectory at lunch time.

Aaron is a couple of years older than Gemma which makes him all the more exciting as it means he has a car so can give her lifts to and from college. Aaron stays in a flat with his dad, though his dad is around at his new girlfriend’s house more than at the flat. He used to live in London with his mum. So, Aaron is alone quite a lot with no company other than his golden Labrador, Moonshine. It soon becomes apparent from little things Aaron says that he has been hurt in a previous relationship. Aaron keeps mentioning his ex Cherine and how she betrayed and cheated on him.

It is one of Gemma’s friends that shows her the music competition called “From Nashville With Love”. The makers of the show want to discover the UK’s best country singers. The prize is £10,000-worth of promotion, time in a recording studio, the chance to sing in front of all the major record labels, and what Gemma considers the best part of the prize, which is, a year’s mentoring from The Greenwoods! Who are Gemma’s favourite country singers. The competition has three rounds, Auditions, Regional Finals, Then the winners from the twelve regions go on to a televised national final to find the ultimate winners! Gemma decides to enter and puts her everything into writing the songs and as Cal often sings along when Gemma plays her music, he becomes the perfect partner to enter the competition with.

As the relationship develops between Aaron and Gemma he starts turning up at the café when she is working. Then he starts making little comments how he doesn’t understand why Gemma isn’t attending Portsmouth College as that has a dedicated programme for performers etc. Gemma just explains it was too far for dad to take her and that she doesn’t mind and so on. Nevertheless, Aaron manages to acknowledge what Gemma is saying but puts his own spin on it. Saying her whole family seem to revolve around Michael, why does Gemma have to attend all of his home games? Why aren’t her parents supporting her in the music competition? Aaron also show extreme jealously when he sees the good friendship Gemma has with Cal. Gemma explains he is singing in the competition with her and they need to rehearse. Aaron then quietens but becomes reticent giving the impression of the “little boy lost” element he had that had originally attracted Gemma’s attention to him. Aaron has all the "right line" and seriously knows how to play on Gemma's emotions. Beginning with the whole "As You Wish" Princess Diaries references he uses when he is with her. Then that moves up to "I love You" and the rather poetic "I Hold You Heart" which turns out to be a spin on an old piece of poetry.

Gemma becomes more and more aware of what she is doing and whether Aaron would approve or not. Aaron manages to pressure Gemma into having sex, telling her she is beautiful, yet then giving her vouchers for a salon for waxing treatment. She doesn’t normally was but again feels compelled to use the vouchers so she doesn’t offend Aaron by not using them. The once on time or organised early person to the lesson/meeting, Gemma becomes tardy both at school and in her job. Her eagerness to rehearse her songs with Cal turn into excuse after excuse for not turning up. Even when she does attend lessons, she is often too tired to function and take part as she used to. Her friends try to explain to her what she is doing, cutting them off, to the point of not having time to have a chat about something important to Esi.

Things all come to a head and Gemma at age 17 decides to move out of her family home and live with Aaron. By this time, she has handed her notice in at the Beach Café as she is sick of talking to Esi. The reason she is “sick of” Esi is that she is the voice of reason. Telling Gemma she is cutting off all her friends just because she has a boyfriend. Aaron does a lot of underhand, controlling things like taking possession of Gemma’s mobile phone so “she can rest undisturbed”. By doing this he can edit and delete any messages, text or voicemail that Gemma’s family or friends send her. Aaron has his own idea of what Gemma should be like, what she should be doing as well as what she wears etc. It comes to the point that without Aaron, Gemma simply cannot function on any level. The relationship becomes more and more claustrophobic until Gemma has to leave the flat and goes walking, even contemplating suicide as a way out. Gemma has sacrificed everything for Aaron.

I won't go into anymore details or what happens after Gemma's walk to "clear her head". Gemma has to ask herself some really difficult questions and answer them in a brutally honest way like, What does she have if she doesn't have him anymore? Where can she go? How can her life go on? and the classic What will people say?

This book is really well written, possibly by someone who has been through this kind of relationship or has done an abundance of research. The story is told from the point of views of Gemma and Aaron. To be honest I was a good partway through reading this book when I noticed the realistic and purely honest writing style reminded me of another book I had read some time ago which I guess would fall into a similar category or genre to this book. When I managed to remember the title of the book and looked it up was when I realised both books were by the same author. When choosing books to read I try not to be swayed to read books by a small range of authors which is why I don’t take much notice of the authors name when checking out my next books to read. Don’t get me wrong if I love an author, I will read more of their books but it won’t be the specific reason for choosing a certain book.

What an amazingly realistic honest depiction of how a controlling relationship begins, takes hold and progresses. It took me back and reminded me of a past relationship. I kind of wish I had had this book to read. Definitely thought provoking and a possibly great way to educate about such relationships. You feel like you are right there, like a fly on the wall watching the relationship of Gemma and Aaron.

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There’s something about the way this is written that’s annoying me so much. And the fact that I don’t like any of the characters is topping off how much I really don’t feel like reading this. There isn’t anything specifically wrong with the way this is written or what I’ve read so far, and the way I can see the plot going is going to broach important topics that should be talked about more but I just never feel like picking the book up and continuing. I think the fact that I’ve only just past a hundred pages and I’ve been reading it for three weeks says enough. Maybe I’ll try again when I'm in a certain mood, but for now it’s a dnf.

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Great read, skylarks was my favourite book of 2018 and this lived up to my expectation. I love the emotion and characterisation Karen creates.

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The abuse and 'gaslighting' theme of this book are very topical and important now more than ever so this was a very interesting read. Our main characters are Gemma and Aaron - Gem is a young lady in her A Level year at college with a part time café job and a large group of brilliant friends. Aaron is a couple of years older and a charming young man who makes Gemma feel loved, special and secure. But is Aaron as wonderful as he appears to be?
The story was so well-written and the abuse conveyed so subtly. At first it's just little comments that Aaron makes to Gemma about how much he cares for her and she comes first for him but it quickly becomes more sinister when his jealousy and controlling behaviour become more noticeable. I found the gradual isolation from her friends to be the most concerning yet subtle demonstration of emotional abuse and sadly one that is particularly effective in these types of situations.
I won't spoil for other readers but simply say this is an important and powerful YA novel about toxic relationships and abuse. This is something that should be considered as an educational resource to young adults.
4.5 stars and many thanks to Netgalley and publishers for the ARC opportunity.

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I Hold Your Heart is an utter masterpiece.

Gemma first sees Aaron as she’s leaving one of her brother’s football matches, their eyes meeting across the pitch – sparks flying, a soaring orchestral soundtrack playing in the background – and she’s instantly attracted to him. Heading straight to her shift at the cafe with her best friend Esi, she can’t stop wondering whether she should have given him her number when – lo and behold – in he walks.

A huge fan of country songs, Gemma has always believed in true love and soulmates, the love stories that all of the greats sing about. She just hadn’t expected her first love to be it, but Aaron undeniably is. He’s perfect.

Karen Gregory approaches the topic of abusive relationships very intelligently.

At the beginning, I Hold Your Heart feels like it’s the worst kind of contemporary, filled with cringey instalove and soppy moments that have you rolling your eyes and trying not to be sick. It’s a genius decision, though: the reader feels exactly like Gemma, so swept off of her feet by Aaron that when he starts to show his darker side it’s almost impossible to believe.

As the book hasn’t been out very long I’m not going to go into some of the worst aspects of Aaron’s behaviour, but the slow and steady escalation makes I Hold Your Heart one of the most realistic depictions of abusive relationships that I’ve read. I’ve seen it touched upon a few times in YA, but normally the change in personality occurs at such a breakneck speed that it feels highly unbelievable. Instead, Gregory gets her readers care deeply for these characters – to even care for their relationship, at its more tender moments – only to see it come crashing down very dramatically.

You really feel yourself rooting for Gemma and Aaron at points. It’s hard not to agree when she pushes away Esi, who is getting overly involved in her relationship, because she should be allowed to be happy! But that’s the most dangerous thing about abusive relationships: if people think you’re happy, it’s even harder to tell people – or even yourself – that you’re not, and before you know it there’s no one left for you to talk to because you’ve pushed everyone away.

The inclusion of Aaron’s perspective really is the icing on the cake. As Gemma starts to realise that she isn’t happy, the story jumps across to Aaron more and more regularly, showing us how he justifies all of his actions – even the most horrible ones. It’s pretty scary stuff, because things that would be inexcusable to most people seem like common sense to him.

I think I Hold Your Heart could have a huge positive impact, as it showcases the warning signs so eloquently that it’s bound to have readers reaching out to close friends just to make sure that they’re doing okay.

This book is perfect for fans of Eve Ainsworth and Louise O’Neill – both authors who aren’t afraid to tackle emotional and controversial subjects in YA – and for fans of Holly Bourne, as some of Aaron’s behaviour later in the novel reminds me so much of It Only Happens in the Movies (one scene in particular, but you’ll know which one after you’ve read it!).

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I received a free copy of this book courtesy of the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are my own.
It is always a welcome surprise when you receive a book especially in the YA category that blows you away both for the storytelling and the absolute importance that story carries. Where on earth was this story when I was an impressionable 17-year-old girl? This is the story I needed but I’m so very grateful that young adults have this. If you’re a parent of a teenage girl BUY THIS BOOK NOW for them. I hold your heart is the first novel of Karen Gregory’s that I have read and boy it didn’t disappoint. This piece of work is an important work of fiction, stunningly flawed and bursting with hope and pain.

When I started this book (literally only 10 hours ago) I knew that it would grip me, but I also knew it would be hard going and extremely close to the bone for me personally. The author sang to my soul. I can’t emphasise just how much this book touched me. I had confidence early on that this author was going to nail this one home and boy did she ever.

Domestic Abuse, Gaslighting and the naivety of youth – all very harrowing themes but handled with care and respect. Now, I’ve read some books that have tried but failed in highlighting the importance of these issues and but never quite hit home just how important it is that the youth of today realise the signs and get out of that situation and accept all the help that is given to them- family, friends and the authorities. There was no sweeping this under the rug from the author- Domestic Abuse isn’t the big bad evil that is easy to spot. Domestic Abuse is the kind eyes, sweet words and the reeling you in with beautiful gestures. Domestic Abuse is all around us…your family or your friends are enduring this right now. That person beside you on the tube, on the bus is suffering. Know the signs, end the suffering.

Gemma is an aspiring singer with mind-blowing talent, she’s a sister, a daughter and a friend. She doesn’t have the perfect life – she feels like she plays second fiddle to her brother, the super talented football player with a bright future. Their lives revolve around football – spending weekends at football matches, washing her brothers’ dishes, washing her brothers kit and eating specialised meals that benefit her brother, did anyone care to ask about her? What did she want to do? Karen really started the seeds just within that family setting. How easily Gemma just went along with the situation, was she susceptible to the attentions of Aaron? More likely he preyed on it but still it made for interesting thoughts. This book was so close to my own experience of being 17 it was actually quite frightening. The events are near enough the same to matter and it just connected with me on such a deep and meaningful level. This novel was a door to my past, but I walked through it all the same.

I really felt for Gemma. On one hand she is a naive girl who is trying to find her place in the world but one who ultimately has the confidence knocked from her every being. Getting knocked down so far you do seriously start to question everything around you. A girl that carries on through pain and suffering but still believes in love and destiny.

This brings me front and centre with Aaron. He appears on the surface to overly sensitive but caring and extremely loving to Gemma. He starts off being a likeable male protagonist and you’re almost willing to look past his odd behaviours because on the surface he seems to really like Gemma but there is a fine line between love and obsession. However, from early on you get this feeling that you can’t shake that something is majorly wrong with this boy. He loves all the things Gemma does, turns up where she is (even though she hasn’t told him), and his experience with his ex Cherine just sets all kinds of alarm bells going off – the seriously ear-splitting type. You are sucked into the story and it is horrifying to witness just how systematically he operates – planting seeds of doubt about her family not needing or loving her quite like her brother. It didn’t take much for this to take hold and its heart-breaking to watch. Everyone could see how he was changing her – to an extent even she knew it, but nothing is quite as blind as love. Everything suffers in her life – her friendships, her family, college and most painful of all – her love of music.

The story was told mostly in Gemma’s perspective, but Aaron had some chapters and boy let me tell you it gave a much darker insight in his psyche and gave a deeper dimension into the story. The insight it brought us really made us understand that he was not of a sane mind but one that was Obsessive, controlling, disturbed and broken.

The one question that was all on the tip of my tongue was….Will she actually leave him though? Well you’ll need to read that for yourself to find out.

I’m not ashamed to say that I cried during parts of this book. The plot is just so utterly horrifying but not like in horror books but the pure fear that this is actually happening all around us and we wouldn’t even know. I received an e-copy of this book but upon finishing it I purchased a paperback of it.

I hold your heart is deeply compelling. The most important YA read of 2019 and one that every parent of a YA should read. Emotions hang in the balance, fear runs rampant. Relationships in tatters. Karen Gregory has smashed the boundaries and brought us the novel we all need.

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emma is a confident, aspiring singer with a brilliant group of friends. She meets Aaron, who is confident, sensitive, and charming. He sweeps Gemma off her feet, he says just the right things, he makes her feel special and loved. But Aaron isn’t exactly all that he seems. His behaviour starts becoming increasingly erratic and controlling, and those around Gemma become increasingly concerned.

I Hold Your Heart was an intense and harrowing read with a fantastically complex protagonist.

I Hold Your Heart is a book about emotional abuse and it delves very deep into how a seemingly perfect relationship is very far from it. From an outsider perspective, it’s easy to become frustrated with Gemma not being able to see these red flags, but with those in a relationship like the one shown, those red flags can be hard to see. Her support system was removed, and her feelings manipulated. The more insecure she gets, the more successful his tactics are.

I think I Hold Your Heart is an important book, it has some important messages about what love should be and what you should reasonably be expected to give to a relationship. It shows how fast a relationship can spiral to being controlling and obsessive and how easy it can be to get caught up in one, and how difficult it can be to get out of one.

I really adored the friendship group and I think it highlighted how abusers work. They alienate you and isolate you. It also really highlighted how vital a support network also is to escape situations like the one shown. I really loved her friend Cal, and I absolutely adored her friend Esi – she was also black & bi!

I Hold Your Heart was a chilling and compelling, and almost unputdownable, read. A hard topic to read about but it is a reality for a lot of people today and I think Karen Gregory has done an excellent job treating the topic with care and sensitivity.

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A much needed book especially for the YA market/readers. Such an important issue to deal with emotional abuse and control, thoughtfully tackled and handled with real care. A very raw and hard read, but well worth the emotions. A book that will be with you long after you leave it



Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for a free copy for an honest opinion

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Even just reading the blurb again gives me chills. I devoured this book in less than a day; I started reading it on my lunch break in work, then continued once I got home and fought through the tiredness because I could not put it down. My first main thought going into this book was that I wanted to be able to relate to Gemma (as I have had a similar, although not as intense, experience in a past relationship).

The first thing I loved about this book was that I was about 4 pages in and the main character is expressing her love for country music, I instantly knew this character was for me (it's not often you get characters, or people in general real life that love a bit of country music). 

We first meet Aaron while he's watching her at her brother's football match (creepy), he then turns up at the cafe she works in later that day and speaks to her. Next thing you know he's a student at the college she attends. This boy is throwing up red flags from the beginning, but obviously Gemma is young and naive, and when you're that age, getting attention from a cute boy is the only thing that matters - it's one of the many things I dislike that society teaches us. He asks her out with that typical boyish charm; aka 'I won't take no for an answer' and of course Gemma says yes. I definitely think we should be teaching young girls, and boys for that matter, how to spot the early signs of an abusive relationship. This book brilliantly shows just how easy it is to miss the early signs and before you know it, you feel trapped with no escape, and you still don't see what everyone else does and are making excuses for your partner's actions.

I HIGHLY recommend this book, it's chilling and brilliant.

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This book is just..... essential! That is the only way I can describe it. The way in which the author has dealt with the hard topic of abusive relationships is so authentic feeling that everyone should read this book.
It happened so organically that it really mirrored how these experiences can occur and the ways in which signs are and can be missed.

Such a hard topic but well handled.

As I say, essential reading.

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This book covers an important topic. Unfortunately, I personally could not get on with it but I am grateful for more exposure on such topics for young people.

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From a distance, everyone thinks they can spot the signs of an abusive relationship.
From a distance, you think you know that some actions are just not what forms part of a healthy relationship.
But when you’re the one in that situation, how easy is it to tell?
When Gemma first meets Aaron she’s confident and outgoing, has a part-time job, dreams of singing and is just starting A-levels. Within weeks of meeting Aaron things are shifting. She starts giving up things that meant so much to her. Is it because Aaron loves her, or is there a more sinister angle?
Reading this knowing what the story focused on meant I was on alert throughout, looking for signs that it was heading that way. But the way the story developed felt very natural, and it’s easy to see just how easy it could be to end up in a situation you’re not entirely comfortable with.
An emotional journey, which may not ring true for everyone, but it will certainly get people talking.

The link to the e.e. cumming’s poem has now given a much more sinister vibe to what always seemed such a heartfelt sentiment. The power of words.

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