WARNING: Emotional abuse is present in this novel.

I strongly believe that this novel is very important. Manipulation is something everyone will deal with through their lifetime. Sometimes, it takes a moment to realise what’s happening, and other times it can be noticed straight away. This novel shows the love interest, Aaron, gaslighting Gemma throughout the entirety of the book.

What is gaslighting? Because, despite having heard the term on numerous occasions, I never investigated the definition. So, I want to make sure everyone knows the exact definition of the word.

Sourced from Collins' Online Dictionary: to attempt to manipulate (a person) by continually presenting them with false information until they doubt their sanity

Gemma is happy. She has great friends and an amazing (and hot) boyfriend. Everything is great, until it’s not. I won’t dive into detail, because I’m not here to destroy the novel for you. The manipulation is the main storyline, and is defined in the description, so even that isn’t a spoiler.

Is there anything I didn’t enjoy about this book?

Yes, but only a few things, and a lot of it had less to do with the story and my personal preference on Karen Gregory’s writing style. In some instances the scenes seemed rushed, or not all there. The fact that this is my only concern, is fantastic. It was an incredible novel, one that had me wishing I could climb into the book and strangle Aaron myself.

I liked the characters, I did. They were well fleshed out and seemed human. Even the parents in this one are present! (Always a positive for a YA book). It’s just overall, a really good read. A very important read.

Such a raw 'romance' of how life can spiral. In times it's hard to read because it's so real and brutal. Sadly, I think far too many women will relate to this.

Gemma has just started her A levels when she meets Aaron. He understands her in a way no one else ever has, and soon she's spending all her time with him. Her friends don't understand what it's like. They're jealous. Right?

This book starts out fine; Gemma's studying, playing music, working and hanging out with friends. Even Aaron, at first, seems nice; kind and thoughtful, dedicated to Gemma's happiness. As things go on, though, they get increasingly creepy. Aaron's change in behaviour is slow and subtle and it's easy to understand why Gemma gets caught up with him. It's terrifying to watch; I just wanted to scream at her to get out of there immediately. This is a fantastic read on a very important topic; too many teenagers wouldn't recognise abuse of this kind and it needs to be talked about more. This book will definitely do it.

Between this title and Countless, Karen Gregory is on my must-read list.

Receiving an ARC did not affect my review in any way.

This was such a necessary and important book that I think everyone should read whether they're a teenager or not. The author does such a great job of making such a major subject matter like abuse and toxic relationships real yet still readable.

The story revolves around Gemma a typical teenage girl who loves country music and singing. Then she meets Aaron a cute older boy and of course, they fall in love however Aaron isn't quite as sweet as he seems. He very quickly starts taking over Gemma's life, showing up at her work. convincing her to skip class to spend time with him and telling her to stay away from her male best friend. As the reader, we see all the red flags that Gemma doesn't which can make it a frustrating read at times but again so important for people to know the signs of a controlling relationship.

A very powerful book that I won't forget any time soon and I'm already planning to read another of Karen Gregory's novels.

I loved Karen Gregory's first book, and have the second waiting on my shelf forlornly, begging me to pick it up. I requested this from NetGalley automatically when I saw the author's name, and was delighted when I was approved.
I Hold Your Heart is a thoughtful and nuanced portrait of a relationship which becomes very intense very fast, told largely from the perspective of Gemma, but with occasional interjections from Aaron. Aaron lovebombs Gemma, telling her she's perfect, she's the greatest girl he's ever known, they were meant to be together. Gemma, for her part, is constantly surprised and delighted by how much she has in common with Aaron, how easy he is to talk to, and how much he understands her. Their relationship develops quickly, and gets to a point of intensity where Gemma's friends are warning her to step back. Gemma is stuck in a mire of gaslighting and emotional abuse, and doesn't know where to turn when things start to go wrong. Having dived headfirst into this intense, emotionally bruising relationship, she quickly ends up relying entirely on Aaron, and when things don't seem as perfect as they were in the beginning, she's not sure where to go from there.
I really loved this story of Gemma and Aaron's relationship because of the nuance and depth it gave to the story. Gemma is a typical teenage girl, and jumps at the idea that someone would love her so intensely, but doesn't realise how quickly her position can deteriorate until she's relying on Aaron completely. Aaron, for his part, seems to have good intentions, and wants his relationship with Gemma to succeed, but through his chapters it becomes eminently clear that he views Gemma as an accessory to his happiness, rather than a thinking, feeling human being in her own right. He takes advantage of her insecurity in her position in her family, but not with an initially malicious approach - he just wants Gemma to be the perfect girl for him, and convinces her that he's the perfect man for her. This is part of what makes Gemma's anguish in the latter parts of the book so very real - she doesn't realise that she's been gaslit by Aaron, and the sensation of the ground shifting under her feet is all the more jarring because she thought she was in the most perfect relationship. It's only from an outsider's perspective, as the reader, that we can see the red flags were there from the beginning.
The cast of characters which quickly slide into the background of Gemma's life never feel two-dimensional or thin, and their reactions to her relationship feel very real throughout the novel. Gemma's tense relationship with her parents and growing distance from her friends only serves to plunge her deeper into her world for two - Aaron and Gemma against the rest of them - and this isolation only deepens that control.
What I will really take away from this book is how real the emotions in it felt. I could see exactly how and why Gemma ended up in the vulnerable position she occupies throughout the latter parts of the book, and the dangerous harm which happens to her because Aaron 'loves her too much'.
Reading this book as an adult, I can see the dangerous signs of Aaron's possessive, controlling nature, made all the more clear by his chapter perspectives. But thinking back to when I was a teen, that kind of consuming need to be together could easily have taken me over, and the vulnerability inherent in Gemma is so very real.
Karen Gregory's first book, Countless, has stayed with me for a long time because of how real her characters and their reactions were, and I Hold Your Heart is likely to do the same. Certainly worth a read, this heartbreaking, eye-opening relationship is like the barbed wire depicted on the cover - encircling, protecting, but also preventing escape. Much like the impact of abuse, this book will linger with me a long time.

I Hold Your Heart is such an important novel. Karen Gregory has really captured the complicatedness of friendship and relationships whilst weaving the aspects of her novel together. It shows us how things are complicated, confusing and how they can be all-consuming. Karen writes so vividly that my worry for Gemma felt very real. This novel will stay with me for a long time.

I stated reading this book a few small hours ago and haven't been able to put it down, in the start I wasn't the biggest fan of the story and characters but as the story started to progress I was hooked with how the story was going to play out for Gemma. I really enjoyed the positive representation throughout the story and believe its very informative and well wrote. This is for sure a hard hitting book and I think a impactful story for all. I believe the story was well developed and after finishing the book I did research into others stories t find how realistic Gemmas story was and believe this to be an accurate and well wrote representation thats a must read.

This book is much needed in our world to show teenagers and kids what a relationship is not ment to be. It was horrible to see gem fall into the same trap many of us have fallen into. The depths of which this author went to create Gem and Aaron, the story of these two needs to be given to every teenager I find so this type of abuse doesn't happen anymore.

I read this book in one sitting and was utterly absorbed by the relationship between Gemma and Aaron. The story is told mostly from Gemma’s perspective and you see her fall in love with Aaron almost overnight. He takes over her life to the exclusion of everyone and everything else - almost without her realising it. He plays on her frustrations with her family in particular, isolates her from her friends and previous life and takes away her freedom. All done without her realising it as she is so intent on pleasing and loving him.

He was a very persuasive and even when separated from him Gemma finds it hard to disconnect herself.

A hard read in parts but an important story to read.

A book I will be purchasing for my school library.

This was a truly heart breaking book, reading this as an adult was so hard as I picked up on all of the signs of abuse along the way. I loved Gemma's complex character and how the book resolved, and I felt instantly like it would be so easy to fall into the trap of 'love' that Aaron pulled her into. I Hold Your Heart is an amazing book that all teenagers should read, it is so well written and had me in tears through out. I'd recommend to anyone who likes Eve Anisworth and would definitely give it 5 stars.

A tough read but an important and compelling one. It clearly illustrates how emotional abuse can begin and escalate and doesn't shy away from the complexities and confusion around toxic relationships. An important and worthy novel for young people.

It was the cover that first attracted me to this book, which is ironic when it is actually labelled as being a “draft cover”. I actually like this cover and when you have completed reading the book, you know it does really fit it well. Its main colour is red which is associated with love & passion. Then there’s the barbed wire in a heart shape, which beautifully represents what the relationship between Gemma and Aaron becomes. The byline of "When Does Love Become Possession"....this also describes what Gemma and Aarons relationship comes.

The book is basically begins as a boy meets girl, the whole too and fro, of asking for a date and so on. Everything is fine to begin with, however all that soon changes.

We meet Gemma at the beginning of the book, a young girl who loves playing her guitar, writing songs, she works at the local beach café with best friend Esi and is part of a loving family. As part of this loving family she supports her younger brother Michael in his hopes for becoming a professional footballer by attending all his home games, her rather football obsessed father usually attends the away games too. Gemma has a best friend is Esi, but also has other friends like Cal who shares her love of music. Then there’s Phoebe, Beth and Rachael who she also hangs out with at college. It’s the first year Gemma and Esi have not had exactly the same classes with each other. Its because they have made different A level subjects. At least they can all meet up in the refectory at lunch time.

Aaron is a couple of years older than Gemma which makes him all the more exciting as it means he has a car so can give her lifts to and from college. Aaron stays in a flat with his dad, though his dad is around at his new girlfriend’s house more than at the flat. He used to live in London with his mum. So, Aaron is alone quite a lot with no company other than his golden Labrador, Moonshine. It soon becomes apparent from little things Aaron says that he has been hurt in a previous relationship. Aaron keeps mentioning his ex Cherine and how she betrayed and cheated on him.

It is one of Gemma’s friends that shows her the music competition called “From Nashville With Love”. The makers of the show want to discover the UK’s best country singers. The prize is £10,000-worth of promotion, time in a recording studio, the chance to sing in front of all the major record labels, and what Gemma considers the best part of the prize, which is, a year’s mentoring from The Greenwoods! Who are Gemma’s favourite country singers. The competition has three rounds, Auditions, Regional Finals, Then the winners from the twelve regions go on to a televised national final to find the ultimate winners! Gemma decides to enter and puts her everything into writing the songs and as Cal often sings along when Gemma plays her music, he becomes the perfect partner to enter the competition with.

As the relationship develops between Aaron and Gemma he starts turning up at the café when she is working. Then he starts making little comments how he doesn’t understand why Gemma isn’t attending Portsmouth College as that has a dedicated programme for performers etc. Gemma just explains it was too far for dad to take her and that she doesn’t mind and so on. Nevertheless, Aaron manages to acknowledge what Gemma is saying but puts his own spin on it. Saying her whole family seem to revolve around Michael, why does Gemma have to attend all of his home games? Why aren’t her parents supporting her in the music competition? Aaron also show extreme jealously when he sees the good friendship Gemma has with Cal. Gemma explains he is singing in the competition with her and they need to rehearse. Aaron then quietens but becomes reticent giving the impression of the “little boy lost” element he had that had originally attracted Gemma’s attention to him. Aaron has all the "right line" and seriously knows how to play on Gemma's emotions. Beginning with the whole "As You Wish" Princess Diaries references he uses when he is with her. Then that moves up to "I love You" and the rather poetic "I Hold You Heart" which turns out to be a spin on an old piece of poetry.

Gemma becomes more and more aware of what she is doing and whether Aaron would approve or not. Aaron manages to pressure Gemma into having sex, telling her she is beautiful, yet then giving her vouchers for a salon for waxing treatment. She doesn’t normally was but again feels compelled to use the vouchers so she doesn’t offend Aaron by not using them. The once on time or organised early person to the lesson/meeting, Gemma becomes tardy both at school and in her job. Her eagerness to rehearse her songs with Cal turn into excuse after excuse for not turning up. Even when she does attend lessons, she is often too tired to function and take part as she used to. Her friends try to explain to her what she is doing, cutting them off, to the point of not having time to have a chat about something important to Esi.

Things all come to a head and Gemma at age 17 decides to move out of her family home and live with Aaron. By this time, she has handed her notice in at the Beach Café as she is sick of talking to Esi. The reason she is “sick of” Esi is that she is the voice of reason. Telling Gemma she is cutting off all her friends just because she has a boyfriend. Aaron does a lot of underhand, controlling things like taking possession of Gemma’s mobile phone so “she can rest undisturbed”. By doing this he can edit and delete any messages, text or voicemail that Gemma’s family or friends send her. Aaron has his own idea of what Gemma should be like, what she should be doing as well as what she wears etc. It comes to the point that without Aaron, Gemma simply cannot function on any level. The relationship becomes more and more claustrophobic until Gemma has to leave the flat and goes walking, even contemplating suicide as a way out. Gemma has sacrificed everything for Aaron.

I won't go into anymore details or what happens after Gemma's walk to "clear her head". Gemma has to ask herself some really difficult questions and answer them in a brutally honest way like, What does she have if she doesn't have him anymore? Where can she go? How can her life go on? and the classic What will people say?

This book is really well written, possibly by someone who has been through this kind of relationship or has done an abundance of research. The story is told from the point of views of Gemma and Aaron. To be honest I was a good partway through reading this book when I noticed the realistic and purely honest writing style reminded me of another book I had read some time ago which I guess would fall into a similar category or genre to this book. When I managed to remember the title of the book and looked it up was when I realised both books were by the same author. When choosing books to read I try not to be swayed to read books by a small range of authors which is why I don’t take much notice of the authors name when checking out my next books to read. Don’t get me wrong if I love an author, I will read more of their books but it won’t be the specific reason for choosing a certain book.

What an amazingly realistic honest depiction of how a controlling relationship begins, takes hold and progresses. It took me back and reminded me of a past relationship. I kind of wish I had had this book to read. Definitely thought provoking and a possibly great way to educate about such relationships. You feel like you are right there, like a fly on the wall watching the relationship of Gemma and Aaron.

I Hold Your Heart by Karen Gregory

Karen Gregory’s third book has cemented her as the most current and much needed author out there. Her work isn’t about escapism, but about emphathy, relatability and recognision. Countless was such a popular book within my plending library in school that I had to purchase three additional copies to keep up with demand. It was also the book that developed a number of students into ‘reader’; begging for other books ‘like this’

Characters
Gemma and Aaron are such important characters that represent so many different people in the real world.
Gemma’s voice is strong and emotive. I see not only much of myself in her, but I know many other peopoole who would relate to her and her friendship group. She’s someone you’ll take to your heart as things go wrong; long before Gemma realises it herself.
Aaron is someone who breaks my heart. He’s the guy I fell for only two years ago. I fell for all the lines, all the promises and accepted all the abuse. While he wasn’t a carbon copy, there was enough there for me to regonside. It’s quite clever how Aaron’s been created as he is able to present as a number of types of ‘toxic’ partners while being a well rounded character in himself. For me he represents a narcasist who went from ‘as you wish’ and ‘I’m looking for a flat to rent near you.’ to ‘your crush on me is sad. I stopped loving you, you should do the same about your crush’ and ‘I never said that’ within a blink of an eye. However, to others Aaron will be the constrictive and obsessive boyfriend who cuts a girl off from everyone else in her life.

Plot
The scariest part about the plot, is the short space of time it takes up. It’s the key of a toxic relationship and it’s surprising how easy it is to get caught up in one. By presenting it as part of a fictional story, it allows the reader to consider their views from a safe environment. I hope that it allows readers to recognise warning behaviours and, hopefully, it will ensure they don’t allow themselves to be suckered in.
The sub-plot is wonderful and allows the reader to root for Gemma. By giving her the Country singing and songwriting competion, you can truly see how much she is being controlled.

The writing
As always, Gregory has a wonderful way with words that gives her characters authentic and truly relatable voices. Having this story told from the perspective of both Gemma and Aaron makes for a rather interesting read. I was overwhelmed at my own wish to be educated on the inner voice of a person who is able to do what Aaron does to someone else.
However, what I did find comforting was the message found within the pages; that I didn’t actually need to look for those answers. That actually, the most important thing was that I didn’t need the answer to tell myself that it wasn’t something I’d done to change my Aaron. It was always going to end that way and what I needed to have done was recognise the behaviours before I compromised my dream like Gemma did.

I’m so incredibly gratful for this read. It was painful, at times, but so bloody inforrmative. There’s a moment that chilled me to the bone, there were moments I wanted to pull Gemma out of the story and away from Aaron but the cathartic relief I gained from knowing I’m not the only one to go through something similar, is so valuable.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for providing me with a copy in exchange for an honest review.

TW - emotional abuse

"The tense, tender must-read book of the summer – perfect for fans of Louise O'Neill and Sara Barnard.

‘You make me feel like there’s something good in the world I can hold on to,’ Aaron says. He kisses me again, draws me so close it’s almost hard to breathe. ‘I love you, Gem. And I promise I’ll hold your heart forever.’

When Gemma meets Aaron, she feels truly seen for the first time. Their love story is the intense kind. The written-in-the-stars, excluding-all-others kind. The kind you write songs about.

But little by little their relationship takes over Gemma's life. What happens when being seen becomes being watched, and care becomes control? "

When I was approached by the publishers asking whether I wanted an ARC of this book, I jumped at the chance. I'm not usually a big YA contemporary fan but there is something about Gregory's writing and books that get me every time and this was no exception.

Gemma is a confident, country music singing, girl with a solid group of great friends. Then Aaron enters the picture. With his beautiful face, and his adorable dog, and his ability to always say the right thing and totally sweep Gemma off her feet.

I went in to this completely blind and knew nothing about the premise, so after a few chapters and a somewhat insta-love romance (we all know how much I hate these!) I wasn't sure whether I would like this novel, but oh my was I wrong. By around the 1/3 of the way through the book I started getting this weird, uncomfortable feeling about Aaron - to the point where I almost felt a bit sick reading about him - but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.The abusive and controlling behaviours start off subtle but we soon see the sweet, almost perfect relationship turn sour fairly quickly. It broke my heart to go through the emotions with not only Gemma, but her friends too.

I Hold Your Heart is told mostly from Gemma's perspective with the addition of a few chapters told by Aaron which really gave a deeper dimension to the story, allowing us an insight into his mind.

It is a true work of genius and a great addition to Karen's young adult fiction books I've loved before. I have so much respect for her for not shying away from talking about such delicate, but important subjects. I really loved this book and would highly recommend to all.

I HOLD YOUR HEART is a YA thriller that had me gripped from page one and left me desperate to find out what was going to happen next. There were times I sat reading it in open mouthed shock, and my heart broke when the truth started to ease its way into the story.

Whilst most of the book is told from Gemma’s perspective, the addition of chapters told by Aaron really gave a deeper dimension to the story, allowing us an insight into his mind. This is easily one of the best YA books of 2019, and brilliantly delves into the hidden truths of obsessive, controlling, relationships.

This is the perfect book for teenagers (of all genders) who are starting to explore relationships. Karen crafts a story that at no point felt preachy, but still has an incredibly important message for us all – of what love is, and how it should never ask us to give up parts of ourselves.

I actually adored this book and devoured it!

Karen Gregory is one hell of a writer and the premise and plot of this story was insane.

When we see Aaron and Gamma first meet, it's almost an unbelievable soulmate-like experience. Aaron being handsomely charismatic and witty, Gemma being blissfully passive. I adored the secondary characters of Gemma's friends. They all seemed vividly different, adding way more dimension.

With some of Aaron's narrative throughout, it definitely provides way more insight as to why the problems occur in the book. Gemma goes from being exuberant, confident and bright to becoming an insecure character. But it's written in a way that we can't help but slowly realise as the problems dawn upon her and something sounds fishy.

This book approaches the ideas of abuse in relationships in a respectful and smooth manner. It also contradicts the idea of abuse being physical or clearly verbal, not in a manipulative way. I really loved this book and I feel all teens and adults alike ought to read this to shine a new light upon this topic.

Thanks for this ARC :)

I want to thank Netgalley for providing me an Arc of this book in exchange for my honest review.

This book was amazing.
It was the kind of book that gets into your head and stays there forever.
This book really gets into the hidden truth and dangers of obsessive controlling relationships.
It was a VERY powerful read.
It holds an incredibly important message for people of all ages.
I give it 5 stars.

Gemma first spots Aaron with his dog when her brother Michael is playing football.



She then has him arrived unexpectedly at her work before she spots him in school and he also leaves a comment on her YouTube channel.



A keen country music lover (who doesn't love Kacey Musgraves!?) and aspiring artist thanks to the encouragement of her best friends Esi, Rachel and Cal she gets the opportunity to enter a music contest with Cal, only for Aaron to believe she's cheating with Cal, the he starts to track her phone...



As the relationship grows we learn of conflict with his mum and past love Cherie only spun to his merit not the truth, as he grows more angry and raging, controlling making her have unprotected sex, expensive gifts and keeping her away from her friends and family after showing her they don't appreciate her after he plants the idea in her head.



Many stereotypes of controlling behaviour gets shown and explored as we witness the sweet relationship sour very quickly until he can move on to the next unsuspecting girl making himself anger as the novel wears on and Gemma more insecure we can see the relationship is not how love should be at all with no compromise no safety and a lot more tears than should ever be shed. It is a true work of genius and a great addition to Karen's young adult fiction books I've loved before. Raising a sensitive topic to teens and hopefully opening their eyes to signs of abuse this is a book every term needs to read.



Many thanks to the publishers for allowing me to review this book for them!