The Dark Sides of Empathy by Fritz Breithaupt presented many interesting arguments related to the downside of empathy and made a case that we should not just blindly teach or encourage empathy without any checks and balances. While there were many interesting arguments, and it was interesting to learn about the history of empathy and empathy research, the book was written in a very academic way. It made it more challenging to read and I felt that I needed to read it more slowly and/or read again certain passages and paragraphs in order to accurately interpret and retain the information that was being presented. I would not consider most of the book a light or easy read, and I think some of the arguments were overly elaborate and convoluted and could have been said in a more succinct and easy to read manner. Some chapters were an easier read than others.

With that being said, it did get me to think about empathy in some ways that I had not really fully considered. As someone who works in the mental health field, and utilizes empathy on a daily basis, it was an overall interesting read, and inspired me to give more thought to empathy and the roles that it plays in relationships to others, as well as to the relationship to ourselves. It was also interesting to read about situations where I think most people would assume someone is displaying a lack of empathy, but many of the arguments in the book suggest it is actually the opposite.

If you are looking for a lighter read, this probably is not the book for you, but if you want to learn more about empathy, and don’t mind something written more like an argument essay or something written in a more academic way, then you would probably enjoy this book.

I was given the opportunity to read this book thanks to NetGalley and the publishers in an exchange for an unbiased review.

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The Dark Sides of Empathy from Fritz Breithaupt makes the general argument about empathy that, I think, can be made about just about any aspect of human feeling and behavior, namely that there are more sides than the one we generally perceive.

I have mixed feelings about this book, but less because of the conclusion than because of the structures and arguments constructed in making his argument. In other words, I agree that empathy, just like love and selfishness/selflessness, can have negative as well as positive outcomes. I just disagree with some of what he calls empathy as well as some of what he claims isn't empathy. It seemed to me that he made his case far more convoluted than it had to be, and in doing so overstepped in his structuring of what is and is not empathy or empathetic feelings.

I found some of his readings to be very good, particularly of Nietzsche in the first chapter. I have a couple minor disagreements there but that could largely be from the context within which I first studied those texts. I did not, however, think some of his connections were as strong as he believes them to be.

In short, I think he could have made his case with a lot less mental gymnastics. I think he could lose some readers through minor disagreements when a more basic argument might have brought more agreement. I don't buy all of his categories or his architecture. I don't dismiss them out of hand either, I just am not convinced based on this book, my previous readings in the area, and my life experiences. Yet those same factors are exactly why I agree with his conclusion, that empathy is far more nuanced than popular opinion currently believes.

A quote from an interview he did sums up much of what I agree with: "Yes, we're biologically primed for it [empathy], but we also have to cultivate it, and cultivation is something that can [be a] lifelong learning task." That cultivation is how we can minimize the negative or darker aspects while enhancing the positive.

I do recommend this to readers who want to understand empathy better. We are told in many venues to be empathetic, but that is far too broad of a statement, there are times to temper our empathy, even if only for a short time until we have more information. Breithaupt's book will help you to think about when these times might be, and any additional self-knowledge we gain is a positive.

Reviewed from a copy made available by the publisher via NetGalley.

Given the recent research into empathy - what it is, whether their are subtypes, whether empathy is decreasing in the world - this is an incredibly relevant and well-presented look into the good and bad effects of empathy in decision-making and interpersonal relationships. The author did a great job of bringing in relavent ideas from a wide variety of subjects including philosophy, psychology, and neuroscience, and of tying in these ideas to their potential real-world effects both in current events and in history. Certain examples of real-world implications seemed somewhat biased towards the liberal perspective, but overall they shed light on the negative effects of empathy, even with good intentions.

I'll be honest I didn't get very far in this book. I didn't feel drawn to continue it for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it reads like an essay, a really long needlessly drawn out essay. Secondly, the conclusions Breithaupt was drawing early on felt inaccurate. For example, he opined that serial killers kill because of the empathy they feel with their victim's suffering. I'm not a psychologist but I think that's too simplistic and makes it seem as though all serial killers would be at least partly masochistic rather than just sadistic. The way it was worded made it seem as though empathy caused them to kill people rather than it being something else in their psyche that caused it and empathy was just a convenient emotion during the killing. Either way this book just didn't feel like it had been written or edited as it should have been and it led me to stop reading. This book simply wasn't for me.

Ehhh... I was not sure what to think about this one because I personally did not like it very much, but it is an interesting view on the topic.

The author really laid out a strong case with numerous facts about how harmful empathy can be. I never thought that people could be too empathetic, but this book has me second guessing that! This was well written and provided new insight into empathy for me.

This is a Psychology book and as such a little dry. It examines the minds of people who rather than using empathy to sympathise with others in a positive way, are actually motivated by it to do harm.

Breithaupt gives five dark sides of empathy: self loss, black and white thinking, humanitarianism as ego gratification, the darkest one in my opinion is motivation for sadism, identifying with the victim, and vampiristic empathy, people who expand their own life experience by over-identifying with someone else, like helicopter parents.

It's a very dark read, but very thought-provoking and genius in its field. This would be very useful for anyone who works in the psychiatric field or for people who deal with negative qualities from someone else who may fit one of these categories. Also Horror writers who could easily base a scary character on these all too human flaws.

Impressively insightful, if disturbing.

This was a title I was eager to check out as I was curious to see the argument(s) that would put in question the dominant interpretation(s) of empathy. The writer, Fritz Breithaupt, is a professor of cognitive science but himself claims that his main academic focus is literary criticism and cultural studies. He claims that this is not a book against empathy but rather intends to suggest a different approach to this "central form that shapes what we are as human beings". Breithaupt struggles to show the reader the sadistic, callous actions that can be triggered by empathy and because of it. He writes: "Extreme acts of cruelty require a high level of empathy" and continues, "Sadism is not the product of a lack of empathy but rather from the wish for its intensification".
The book consists of five chapters (plus the introduction and the epilogue), and some of them are truly engaging as Breithaupt follows consistent reasoning, thus never confusing even the ignorant reader, and he coins terms such as "False Empathy", "Filtered Empathy", "Empathetic Sadism" and "Vampiristic Empathy" (!). I found the first chapter on the relation of the Nietzschean notions of "Self" and "Self-Loss" with empathy and Aesthetics. Nietzsche, in his books Beyond Good and Evil and Genealogy of Morals, writes about the "Objective Man'' who is an observer lacking any special feature that is associated with the sense of selfhood, he is nothing more than a mirror who, nevertheless, is the only human being capable of expressing genuine sympathy. Those who exhibit a strong sense of self are not likely to show signs of empathy as their defining features block such inclinations. I also thought that the third chapter about false and filtered empathy was also enlightening and very well-written. There is also a number of references for those who are interested in the subject, so don't forget to check out the bibliography in the end of the book. To sum up, this is an interesting read on a subject that, until now, was not in dispute in the academic milieu. Any bold attempt to new interpretations on tough subject is worthy of our respect and Fritz Breithaupt succeeds in planting the seed the seed of doubt in the readers' minds.

Do not get this book it is awful! I selected Breithaupt's book Empathy thinking that it might be like Schoeck's 1966 book, Envy, but they in two different leagues and I was deeply disappointed. "The Dark Sides of Empathy" is so thick that one needs a chainsaw to cut through it. Your time is much better spent reading something else.

Many consider empathy to be the basis of moral action. However, the ability to empathize with others is also a prerequisite for deliberate acts of humiliation and cruelty. In The Dark Sides of Empathy, Fritz Breithaupt contends that people often commit atrocities not out of a failure of empathy but rather as a direct consequence of over-identification and a desire to increase empathy. Even well-meaning compassion can have many unintended consequences, such as intensifying conflicts or exploiting others.

Empathy plays a central part in a variety of highly problematic behaviors. From mere callousness to terrorism, exploitation to sadism, and emotional vampirism to stalking, empathy all too often motivates and promotes malicious acts. After tracing the development of empathy as an idea in German philosophy, Breithaupt looks at a wide-ranging series of case studies—from Stockholm syndrome to Angela Merkel's refugee policy and from novels of the romantic era to helicopter parents and murderous cheerleader moms—to uncover how narcissism, sadism, and dangerous celebrity obsessions alike find their roots in the quality that, arguably, most makes us human.

I was on the fence with this book. I could not see the malicious and sadism people considered in the word EMPATHY. I did conclude the book, had many misgivings on the dark side" of an empathetic person.

Thank you, NetGalley as well as the Publisher for an advance copy for a review.

I received an advanced readers copy in exchange for an honest review.

This book caused me to think things through very deeply that I probably would not have thought if I had not read it – and for that alone I would consider it a worthwhile use of my time. It examines human nature more honestly then many books of its kind, and well I definitely saw some of myself in the more selfish or as he would put it “vampiric “type of empathy, I understand that was something I probably needed to look at. I work in mental health, with people who are often considered personality disordered, which labels them as having a lack of empathy, but instead it is this dark empathy that dominates that leads to their behaviors, and so much of what happens in our society that often leads us confused- how could “good” people cause such bad feeling? Definitely should be read by students of psychology and philosophy.