Due to a sudden, unexpected passing in the family a few years ago and another more recently and my subsequent (mental) health issues stemming from that, I was unable to download this book in time to review it before it was archived as I did not visit this site for several years after the bereavements. This meant I didn't read or venture onto netgalley for years as not only did it remind me of that person as they shared my passion for reading, but I also struggled to maintain interest in anything due to overwhelming depression. I was therefore unable to download this title in time and so I couldn't give a review as it wasn't successfully acquired before it was archived. The second issue that has happened with some of my other books is that I had them downloaded to one particular device and said device is now defunct, so I have no access to those books anymore, sadly.

This means I can't leave an accurate reflection of my feelings towards the book as I am unable to read it now and so I am leaving a message of explanation instead. I am now back to reading and reviewing full time as once considerable time had passed I have found that books have been helping me significantly in terms of my mindset and mental health - this was after having no interest in anything for quite a number of years after the passings. Anything requested and approved will be read and a review written and posted to Amazon (where I am a Hall of Famer & Top Reviewer), Goodreads (where I have several thousand friends and the same amount who follow my reviews) and Waterstones (or Barnes & Noble if the publisher is American based). Thank you for the opportunity and apologies for the inconvenience.

An engrossing story and one which lost plausibility as the end came in sight. This was really disappointing as the girl Mary had deep feelings for the baby which completely flipped later on. Furthermore, how is it possible for police pathologist not to have had a background check? NHS number and National Insurance number and birth certificate would have to be faked too. There would not even have been a trial as Mary would be unfit to stand as she was clearly suffering from some deep psychiactric problems. As a reader it left me feeling somewhat duped.

Absolutely fantastic! A real edge of the seat thriller. The central characters are fantastic and hope to read more with them in. 4 stars

I read book 2 in this series first and I wasn’t sure anything could give me the shocks and feels as much as that one did but I was wrong! Filled with shocking twists and turns and heartbreaking narrative, this is a novel that you cannot put down.
Reading When I Lost You gave me some background into Carla and Nell’s relationship and how it developed. I adored both ladies. Both dealing with their own personal issues and Carla is also trying to find her place in a new team where she is not entirely trusted as a civilian crime analyst. I enjoyed how they both grew to rely on each other and became good friends throughout the book.
The plot is just mind-blowing. The prologue introduces the death of a baby which in turn becomes a crime case, but also a trigger for a chain of events throughout the book. In the present, Carla and Nell are trying to understand why and how the baby died and why the pathologist (Eve) automatically pointed the finger at the mother. To add more tension to the proceedings, Eve is receiving anonymous letters that threaten everything she has worked for. In the past narrative, the story of two teen girls in care who get involved with an older man brings an even darker side to the plot and this is where my heart broke – but as a teen, I remember similar things happening to one of my school friends so I feel strongly that these stories need to be told.
The plot is addictive and riveting and hard to look away from, even when you really need a break to digest and process everything. It’s tense and twisty and superbly written so that everything comes together at exactly the right time.
I have loved both books in this series so far and I really hope there will be more coming soon.

Omg talk about a roller coaster read wow this book kept me on the edge of my seat threw out I just couldn't put it down this writer keeps you hooked and once your hooked your not letting go I found this book thrilling the characters were fantastic and well thought out and the little clues all the way threw keep you guessing until the end this book stays with you long after you close the book this book is well worth the read I promise you wont be disappointed

Not sure why I took so long to actually pick this one up - entirely gripping and I read in a single day as just could not put it down. Clever twists, with enough suggestion that you can pick them up fairly early and feel good about seeing them coming. Really glad to see there is second instalment!

The cover for this book really attracted my attention and as soon as I started reading the blurb for this one I knew it was a book that I needed to read!

I thought that the author did an excellent job with the plot and structure of the book to make it a gripping read from the start. The suspense builds up gradually and I was hooked to the end. The book does deal with some tough subjects that won’t be to everyone’s taste but I think the author dealt with everything really well and sensitively, what is in the book needs to be there for the plot and it is not added just to sensationalise.

I thought that the characters were very good and I liked finding out more about them and their hidden secrets as the book progressed. The book is a really good crime thriller and I liked that the lead characters were a mix of a Detective Sergeant and a Crime Analyst which gave it a slightly different feel from some of the others books out there.

This was a book with a solid plot and strong characterisation – the characters were very well developed, personable and believable. It is five stars from me, it is an excellent story – very highly recommended!!

DS Nell Jackson and DC Paul Mackintosh are called to investigate the death of an infant, which pathologist Eve Graham has concluded was unnatural. But when Eve starts receiving letters warning her not to put “another innocent mother” behind bars, Nell and crime analyst Carla Brown are tasked with investigating who is threatening one of their own.

I really liked the concept of this and it started off great, even with a slightly confusing split-time narrative. I also really liked that there were two female protagonists, although getting my head around the jumps between their narratives was also sometimes tricky. But I started getting a bit nervous about where the story was going as the book went on. Frankly, I wasn’t that pleased about the resolution, and I felt there were a lot of convoluted subplots that weren’t really tied up by the end of the book. I know people hate hearing something in a book doesn’t feel realistic but this plotline just didn’t even really make sense to me in the end. Perhaps this book was just a little too ambitious in how much it took on at once.

I have literally finished this book and just wow. There have been very few books that can take my breath away like this. I think I need to just take a minute……

….ok that minute did not work. I have to say this book is fantastic if you had not worked that out already. It is a chilling start to the book with the death of a baby, one that will always send shivers through me and then another death happens. Now as shocking as these are, they are not the story. No, the story is something much more intricate and devastating.

One thing I love about this book is that despite the fact I guessed where we were going within the story, Ms Davies was still making me doubt myself. I was adamant I had it figured out, but with the sleight of hand, I was floundering. Was it all as clean-cut as I thought?

Then the end, wow. It was shocking and fricking brave! I did not expect it coming and I loved that it is not what I thought was coming. I had a few tears forming, it was a powerful end, ending the way it all began. Just wow. Then the kidney punch in the epilogue. I mean Jeez! Well, enough said really, just read it.

This is a book that has been playing on my mind. My kindle has been itching to be read all day while I work. If it could talk I know it would be whispering at me to read. I just had to know what was going to happen. I have found Ms Davies writing such a treat. She has these threads of a story and she mixes everything up. We go to the past, we are in the present but we see everything from different perspectives, all adding to an explosive showdown.

I still have not scratched the surface of how epic I really think this book is. The fact we have the point of view of a crime analyst was a fresh look, as we see the behind the scenes rather than hard-hitting with the Detectives investigating. I love Nell, Carla, Paul and Bremner, their little unit does not always click, there is some grating on each other but they get results. At the end of the day, when it counts they have each other backs.

Just wow that is all I have to say. Roll on to the next book!!!!

An excellent thriller full of lots of twists and turns which will keep you guessing until the last page. Hope this is the start of a series with more to come from this author.

Another book I didn’t particularly enjoy. Parts gripped me more than others but I found the characters a bit meh and overall a bit annoying

Nothing is as it seems in this book. Just as soon as you think you have the plot figured out, whoops, it comes from the left and throw you for a loop. Highly recommended.
TB

This is not a comfortable read because it involves child neglect, abuse and sudden infant death. However, it is a completely compelling police procedural thriller which is emotionally gripping.

Told in two timelines, the characters are multi dimensional, strong and well developed. The author tackles the disturbing subject matter sensitively and I felt the police operations were well researched.

Well written and highly recommended for fans of psychological thrillers.

I was totally gripped from the start. Couldn't stop reading! Very well constructed and good characters.

Thank you NetGalley for the book. I found "When I lost you" to be an absolute gripping thriller. I could not put the book down. Definitely recommend it for fellow thriller/mystery junkies.

Absolutely excellent from start to finish, couldn’t put this book down, read this book in two days, very highly recommended.

Former Crime Analyst Merilyn Davies brings to life a gritty, heart-stopping crime thriller that will have you utterly obsessed.

This is a crime fiction novel told across two separate timelines, detailing the aftermath of a child's death. The finger of blame points at the mother, but an anonymous letter suggests otherwise.

Although this is unbelievable at times, overall the characters are well drawn and the plot intriguing enough to keep you reading, although I spotted most of the twists.

As the first in a series, it'll be interesting to see where future books go.

Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC without obligation.

Thank you for the opportunity to read and review this title.

This was a very confusing book that held a lot of potential that editing could have greatly improved.

A huge Thank You to The author, The publisher and Netgalley for providing the e-arc in exchange for a unbiased review of these works.

This book is packed full of tension and suspense, made for a very good read