The premise of this book is one that made me sit back and think a bit. In the Year I Left, I pretty much understood Carin's actions. A working mom who is drowning in her comfortable life, presumably suffering from a great depression since her dear mother passed away a year prior. Carin could be any woman. One who goes about her everyday with the drive to do it all right. But when loss takes a part of you and you are drowning in despair, sometimes something or someone new and refreshing are all it takes to want to disappear and start anew.

Carin's thoughts as she ponders over the way she met Matias and the unexpected way they are drawn to each other are well-thought out and delivered beautifully by Brae. To feel stuck. To feel like nothing is the way it should be or should have ever been is something so many of us debate as we get older and our lives seem to exist for everyone but ourselves. Brae gives us the fantasy whereby Carin gets to live out a whole new existence where it is just she and the man she suddenly can't live without and everything and everyone from her former life, including her husband, sister and 10 year old son, are simply left behind.

Although Carin was in definite pain as she goes about this new life of 'freedom' with Matias by her side, I struggled with the decision to leave her son without his knowing exactly what happened to her. Sure there was an earthquake on the small islands they were exploring for the deal they had closed upon, but I can't imagine throwing my life by the wayside and pretending to have disappeared when water levels rose and grabbing that one chance to go away for good.

The guilt Carin feels is enormous and I'm satisfied that she felt that pang almost hourly, knowing what the death of his mother could and would do to her Charlie. But I was still surprised that she stayed on that remote island for so long. It was often tedious and left me with a huge pit in my stomach not really knowing, right along with Carin and Matias how this blip in time would actually turn out.

Brae does do a good job of tying up the story with the pull of a mother's love and obligation to return to her son, even with the knowledge that he might not want her any longer. But it felt real and was truly heartbreaking as Carin realizes that perhaps you truly cannot have it all. The love of your life vs. the love of your flesh and blood is not a decision to be made lightly and Brae made it gutwrenchingly difficult no matter Carin's choices.

Overall it is solid read and gives a great perspective into the psyche of a floundering woman and the hard realizations she has to accept as her life takes a most unexpected turn. Carin and Matias are the real deal and their oft-times missed cues and strained conversations were enhanced by very steamy nights and the desperation that filled their hearts and souls most of the time they were together. But I felt their love and have hope they find a way to be together after the dust settles from their exciting and excruciating adventure.

4 stars to a book that gave me pause and showed that love is not always the answer but it certainly does comes close most of the time.

Many thanks to NetGalley, Vesuvian Books and Christine Brae for an ARC in exchange for an honest book review of The Year I Left. My thoughts and opinions are 100% my own and independent of receiving an advance copy.

Carin is a successful businesswoman who is married to a good guy with a great kid. But, lately, a feeling of ennui has set over her whole life. She doesn’t know what has come over her until Matias walks into her life. As they begin to work together, Carin can’t concentrate on her job. They work so well together but gosh why did he have to be so nice and oh so handsome. As their professional relationship progresses, so does their attraction to one another. Carin refuses to act on, until, one day, they find themselves stranded on an island. The world believes they are dead. Should she take this time for herself, to explore how she feels? Can she stay and make a life with Matias? Or are they living on borrowed time?

Uch!! No, no, no. What is going on? I get that every married woman/mother dreams of taking off from her life and living on an island with some hot guy who worships her at some point in a long marriage. Especially one that is loaded and can fix shit. I mean, this guy is perfect. He wants nothing to do but talk about his feelings and make love to Carin every day forever. Yes, sign me up. When does my plane crash? And can you please make it in Hawaii.

I can’t suspend my belief for books like this. No matter how I try, I just can’t. She’s going to abandon her son to find herself? I just don’t believe that is what mother’s do. And I’ll say it again, if you aren’t happy in your marriage, LEAVE! She has all the options to do so. She is financially independent, so she can provide for herself and her son. Her husband is wonderful, just boring to her. He looks after their son all the time and is great with him. The husband is so concerned that his wife isn’t happy. JEEZ!! How many good guys does this girl get?

I can’t relate to women, who have everything, then whine and complain like spoiled brats. I think it is extremely selfish to dump your life, pretend to your husband and CHILD that you are dead, so you can frolic on the beach with some hot dude! I mean that is harsh. Why can’t she deal with her problems like an adult? Do the hard work of being alone, figure out what you want, then go after said hot guy.

I was looking forward to reading a book about “an honest look at love and marriage and the frailties of the human heart, this is a story of a woman’s loss of self and purpose and the journey she takes to find her way back.” I wanted to hear about the inside of a marriage. What to do when you want more out of life. When personally you feel lost. Like, somehow the life you built wasn’t really the life you wanted. Carin and Matias also lied to everyone on the island. They were playing house. They weren’t really married and didn’t deal with things that regular married people did. It was all fantasy.

I think I would have accepted the situation if she had left honestly. Told her husband “ I need a year to get away and find myself and I might sleep with someone, so you can too” Then the family knows what’s going on. Your kid won’t need loads of therapy. I just can’t accept the premise. I guess I have such a visceral reaction to this because it is society selling another fantasy to women. First, it is the fairy tales, then it is the romance novels and rom-com movies, and now this fantasy.

I like the writing style. The whole book reads like a journal, or letter, looking back on the whole experience. So you have Carin, walking back through her memories and analyzing them as she describes what is happening. I just can’t relate to these characters. It’s a pass for me.

The Year I Left byChristine Brae. After her mother and her husband die she does not know how to go on in her life. She leaves her son and husband. And than six months later she wants to go back to her son who is eleven. She cannot stand to be away from them. A very sad story about how to feel when you loose your Mom.

Carin Frost has lost herself somewhere along the way and doesn't like anything about her life anymore. She has started to resent her husband, her job, their house, everything about her life. When she meets Matias Torres, she begins to feel alive again. They begin a business relationship that blossoms into something more. Will Matias be able to bring back her purpose for living while asking her to do something unexpected? Great story with great characters!

Carin Frost is a wife, mother, and successful businesswoman but has been struggling with everything since the loss of her mother. Where her marriage and life, in general, used to fulfill her, she’s now feeling lost and confused about what she wants in her life. Soon she meets the handsome and successful Matias Torres and their friendship begins to blossom into a somewhat of an emotional affair as their business partnership grows. While on an island in Southeast Asia for a business deal, a horrible storm hits prompting Mattias to ask Carin to do something romantic, drastic, insane and every other adjective you could imagine. Thus begins a beautiful, yet heart-breaking love that some may not agree with, but it makes it no less beautiful.

If you’ve ever lost someone you love, struggled with depression, or just reached the point of feeling empty – you will relate to Carin. On the outside she seems to have the perfect husband, perfect life, etc. but on the inside, she feels nothing until she meets Matias. Would the average person take the giant leap that Carin did with Matias? Probably not. Isn’t it just understood that your children and family always come first? Author Christine Brae poses the question, is there a point where it’s not only o.k., but healthy to absolutely put yourself first?

The Year I Left is one of the best things I’ve read all year, if not the best. Every imaginable emotion and feeling appears in this novel so prepare yourself to feel them all right along with the characters. There is complacency, sadness, frustration, elation, desire, joy, guilt, and so on. My heart broke for Carin and the emptiness she was dealing with until visiting the island with Matias. I pitied her husband who seemed so content in their lives while she crumbled around him. I felt so much sadness for her young son missing his mother while she was away. But in the end, I felt nothing but peacefulness and love.

As a result of Carin’s journey with Matias, she found an all-consuming romantic love. After returning home, she started rebuilding her relationship with her son and nurturing the love between them. She switched career paths and started a whole new life that she was passionate about. It took some time, but everything did get better. By putting herself first, Carin fell madly in love, rediscovered painting, made new friends (both human and four-legged), and changed every little aspect of her life and future.

Brae’s writing and imagery are exquisite, the plot is unique and well-developed, and the characterization is awe-inspiring. I have read this book from beginning to end three times already and I plan on buying a print copy so that I can share it with all of my reader friends nearby. This is a must-read that should be bumped to the top of your TBR.

*Thanks to NetGalley and Vesuvian Books for providing this review copy in exchange for my honest opinion.

Have you read a Christine Brae novel before? If you have then you know how incredibly stunning her stories are. If you haven't, you are most definitely missing out on some of the most beautiful words put to page.
Like all of Brae's books, The Year I Left is written with an awareness and understanding of being a women in the 21st century amidst an era where the underlying thought is women have a place in society with specific roles. Women aren't supposed to be strong, independent and free thinking. And if we are, then we're on our own because we can't have everything we want.
The Year I Left is about realizing our worth as women and that it's okay to be the nurturer as well as the gatherer. It's a story about allowing yourself to change-- your needs, your wants, love, life without carrying the guilt. People evolve and as women we are allowed to as well.
This book is strength, courage, and grace. Bravo Christine Brae.
D 5+/5

Favorite Quotes:

That kiss destroyed me, gave me life, made me hopeful and sad at the same time.

I got lost somehow. I don’t know when. I don’t know where… I need to find myself… And then I’ll look for you.

I want you to know that my life only began when I met you, that I’d been waiting all my life for you and that finding you, loving you, has given me purpose, made me whole.


My Review:

This was not an easy read. It was, however, remarkably realistic in how frustrating and exasperating it can be for family and friends of an emotionally or mentally ill individual who will not seek or accept appropriate treatment or assistance, which is bad enough in itself, but then to suddenly disappear. Heartbreaking! This happens more often than most people realize or want to contemplate, although most people’s stories are not as compelling or entertaining as this one.

Carin was wealthy, successful, beautiful, and had a lovely family and lavish home. Yet she felt stagnant, numb, and dissatisfied by her life and deeply envied her free-spirited friend who avoided commitments and blew with the wind. She lived for her work while her family life and personal responsibilities were falling into chaos from avoidance, neglect, and disinterest. She was also zoning out with thoughts of suicide and acts of self-harm and had developed an inexplicable resentment for her kind and loving husband. When the opportunity arose to disappear, she took it.

I had a difficult time caring for Carin, as she initially appeared extremely self-involved and whiny. I was unsympathetic and sighing with displeasure while considering a DNF until I read a bit further and realized she was grieving and clinically depressed. I had found myself growing increasing antagonized and annoyed with Carin, yet I couldn’t put my Kindle down and walk away. Ms. Brae’s emotive and well-nuanced storytelling put an itch in my brain and I needed to see it through. I was thankful for staying the course, as the ending proved satisfying (although she really made me work for it) and Carin’s romantic island adventures with the tasty Matias were quite the steamy diversion as well as a sweet delight for the daydreaming romantic in me. Sigh, I was totally enamored and besotted with the scrumptious Matias.

I found the synopsis for THE YEAR I LEFT appealing. I like books with married couples, mid life troubles and the worries and stresses that evolve in a relationship; it’s real. That said, this book was way out of what I thought when I read that blurb and I’m going to try to pinpoint why it didn’t work for me. There might be some mild spoilers.

The protagonist, Carin is a workaholic, driven and hugely successful business person with a husband and son. They’re financially loaded as a family and pretty materialistic. Carin was unlikeable from the off despite her circumstances and her grief. I could see her mental health problem immediately but that didn’t mitigate who she was and how she behaved. I’m sorry to say that I disliked her from start to finish and therefore, I didn’t really connect with her.

I did however, understand her feelings about Jack, her husband but I could not reconcile her parenting or connection with her son, Charlie. As for Matias, again I made no connection with him as a character or them as an evolving work colleague, friendship and more. To me, this was a story about unrelatable selfish people.

Added to these difficulties, the narrative was largely in the first person which I don’t normally mind. However, in this book it was written as a letter to Matias and I found it awkward to read and it continually took me out of the story. You find out later why this is, but it doesn’t help with processing the story for the rest of the book.

Whilst this book wasn’t for me, I do think some people will find the format and story appealing as it has emotional and angsty content. Unfortunately it didn’t work for me.

Thank you to the publisher and netgalley for the early review copy.

Thank you Netgalley for the ARC.

My second book by Christine and I absolutely love everything she writes. This book is emotional and beautifully written. The author is such a gifted and talented story teller. Bravo for another outstanding tale.

2+ star rating
Release date: 9/3/2019

Carin Frost is a successful woman in business, a workaholic, but also suffering from depression. She is extremely unhappy even though she has every reason to be happy. She is married, and has a 10-yr old son, Charlie. She states she doesn’t feel anything anymore, except love for her son, but she is not focused on Charlie. Her over-riding focus is on herself. She has an affair with co-worker Matias who encourages her to run away. Here you have an educated, mature woman who selfishly forsakes her family. I just couldn’t understand why she didn’t seek professional assistance for her problems instead of the road she chose.

I am sympathetic to those who suffer from depression, I know it’s real and difficult to deal with. I know people struggling with it. I still couldn’t get myself to care about Carin and Matias, I just didn’t like either of them, apart or together. It took me two weeks, off and on to get through this novel, which is a long time for me, as I did not look forward to picking it back up again.

Never having read this author before I will say that she does write well, therefore the 2+ star rating. I just couldn’t connect with this particular novel. I may try something else by her in the future, depending on the subject matter.

My opinions are my own. You may feel differently. I am not discouraging you from the read.
My thanks to the publisher Vesuvian Books, author Brae, and NetGalley for the e-ARC.

On sale at all the usual places on Sept 3, 2019

The Year I Left left me feeling perplexed. There are things about Carin I just couldn't understand and things I wholly understood. It's a bit confusing to feel like you didn't really like a character but I was interested to see what happened to her; what choices she'd make, live with, regret, and to see how things might or might not work out for her.

Carin Frost is a woman perplexed by her life. She loves her son madly but has been genuinely unhappy in her marriage, in her life itself for a long while. I think this line spoke to it best, to her lack of joy in life itself:

"What was happening in my personal life? I’d hardly spoken about my family. Who in their right mind would be vaguely interested in a neat little life, filled with clichéd accomplishments like work, career, marriage? Such normalcy embarrassed me."

While this is the script that seems to run in her head, in her heart on loop, she's drifting away from her family and into the arms of another man - a man she convinces herself is the love of her life. And he may be, it's just how she got there that stumped me and the co-dependency on him, Matias Torres, to heal her. I just never felt their spark. I read about it, just never felt it. And I think Carins' vulnerability is what drove her attraction to him. When she finally decides that she deserves happiness, a situation presents itself that gives Carin a way out, unlikely though it may be. The Year I Left takes the reader on an adventure as Carin and Matias find the opportunity to grow their love. With this one choice, there are many consequences, especially to Carin.

One thing I didn't really love was how the story is told in a diary-like fashion, directed at Matias. In a way, it lends itself toward a mystery as to when he would he be reading this, but there is something in the tone of that style that always puts me off. But it does lend itself to trying to show the reader the emotions of the character telling her story. So in that Brae excels as I felt every single spell of depression that Carin experiences. At times it felt histrionic, overly emotional, but I suppose her despair was deep. Ultimately I think that Christine Brae wrote a highly emotional if slightly improbable, story of a woman, mother, wife, and professional finding her true path in life.

Christine Brae is a fabulous writer. Eight Goodbyes was a top read of 2018 for me. Naturally, when the blurb for The Year I Left was released, I was so excited to pick it up.

The Year I Left opens with Carin, a very successful businesswoman with one son and her husband. However, despite having everything she could want, she wasn’t happy. It wasn’t easily explainable. She felt guilty about it. But she became indifferent. And I felt that. I felt Carin to her core. I was in love with this book. But then the plot twist came and part two happened. And the love I had for the story was quickly lost. I couldn’t be convinced that the love between Carin and Matias would ever make Carin be as okay with things as she was.

Matias did very little for me as a character. And the plot just fell flat. I just felt the plot twist was so unnecessary and maybe a little over the top for the situation Matias and Carin were in. I did feel the ending had a touch of redemption. Especially for Carin.

Where I didn’t so much love this particular story, I definitely feel many other people would. Without giving anything away, I would still suggest someone read it, and we could happily discuss this book. Christine Brae is a super talented author. You really can’t go wrong with her books. I think this book would be enjoyable for so many people. It just missed the mark for me.

The Year I Left is my first book by this author. I would categorize it as a combination between Women's Fiction and romance.

The book is divided into three parts. The main narrator is 35 year old Carin (1st person POV). She is married to Jack and has a 10 year old son Charlie.

Carin is a workaholic. But she is extremely unhappy. She can't stand being at home. She doesn't feel anything anymore.

I really was not sure where this book was headed. I got that Carin was depressed and unable to handle her life. But I found some of her actions shocking.

This rating was difficult for me. This was a quick read. It was interesting. But the two main characters were not very likable to me. I don't usually base my ratings on whether I liked what the characters did. But in this case it was hard for me to differentiate between what the characters did and how I felt about the book overall.

This book is Carin's journey to try to get her life back. There is romance. The book is about friendship. It shows one woman's struggles and really delves into what it can be like to be overloaded with responsibilities.

There was Matias, a work colleague who had taken a big interest in Carin. He was such a big part of this book. I liked him okay. But I just never really connected with him enough to really root for him.

Overall, it was interesting to see Carin's struggles and journey. The locale for parts of the book was amazing. The characters were intriguing and different. And while I sympathized with Carin's predicament I just wanted to feel more.

This book is about a woman suffering with depression and how she handles it. I couldn't relate to Carin Frost. She was an educated mature woman who ran away from her husband and child rather than seek medical help. Her decision was guided by a co-worker, Matias who encouraged her to run away. This is the first book by Christine Brae that I've read and she writes beautiful descriptions and carries a story line very well. I just couldn't relate to her characters. I received a copy of this ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Carin is a wife and mother who’s suffered losses in the past year that have left her feeling not like herself. Truth be told, Carin hasn’t felt like herself for quite some time, even before the loss of her mother. She and her husband want for nothing, she adores her sun as well as her sister; she just isn’t happy.
When she meets her company’s newest client, Matias, he doesn’t mask his attraction to her. To her dismay Carin is equally attracted to him, but she does her best to avoid him and respect her marriage.
When an incident on a business trip provides Carin and Matias opportunity to give into one another, Carin finally can live the life she wants and to find out who she truly is.

I’m not going to lie, I had a really hard time getting into this book; it literally took me a month to read it. I had to put it down and read other books in between. This is not your typical love story, romance, HEA ending type of book (and that had not impact on why this was a hard read for me); this was a book about life and how things just go left sometimes and sometimes the people you love the most are the people you hurt the most. In the beginning I think it was the style in which the story was told. Carin is basically talking to Matias. What I couldn’t figure out was if she was writing to him, if she was dying and purging her feelings or if he was on his death bed and she was telling him their “star-crossed lovers” tale.

Eventually I adapted to the style, but I still couldn’t make myself connect with this book. It wasn’t until I was about fifty percent into the book where it hit me what the biggest problem was; I hated these two! I’ve read books where I’ve loved both character or maybe just one of them, but I don’t think I’ve ever read a book where I loathed both characters. There were a few times when I hoped that one of them was actually on their deathbed. I was not rooting for them. I didn’t want either of them to be happy. I’m trying to not be insensitive because there are topics that are very sensitive and misunderstood matters in this book but at the same time…yeah, not two of my favorite people.

So why four stars if I really didn’t like the characters you ask? Well, because as hard as it was for me to connect with book, it kept me coming back and despite how I felt about the main characters I was curious as to how it would all turn out. But the main reason? Because it’s just life; shit happens, people fall out of love, people grow apart, people deal in their own way and depression is tricky bitch. Now I get that Carin was going through some pretty deep stuff, depression is no joke, but at the same time I just wanted to shake her. There were some actions that I couldn’t help but to see as selfish and I found myself, on more than one occasion putting this book aside until I calmed my nerves. Now Matias, nope, the joker can kick rocks with open toed shoes…I have no use for him. I felt he was selfish and manipulative, and he pulled Carin’s strings like a puppet. In my opinion he took advantage of her situation. There was a point when I felt like Carin wanted to leave her family because she felt trapped in a life that wasn’t her but being with Matias was almost the same type of prison.

My biggest issue with him, him discouraging her to reach out to her son! Towards the end I tried to give in a little with him because ninety eight percent of the story is told from Carin’s POV. Maybe Matias was suffering from his own type of depression having to live up to his family’s expectations but in the end, nope still didn’t like him.

Oh, and there’s a little scene where a quote from one of my favorite movies, Pretty Woman, is used and it had me gasping that such a quote could be used on these two.

This novel was definitely deeper than I was prepared for. Beautifully written, just wasn't in the right frame of mind for it. I will definitely give it another go at a later date. Thank you, NetGalley, for allowing me to read this book in exchange for an honest review!

The Year I Left was not an easy read. It was emotional in ways I wasn't quite prepared for. The heroine, Carin, was in a state of depression. I was shocked that her husband just went on status quo around her as if nothing was different. It never seemed like he tried to lighten her load. I guess maybe he did but not in the ways that she truly needed. Although, in fairness to Jack, I don't think she communicated her needs very well either.

I do think that for many women, some portion of this novel will be relatable. Not necessarily in the sense of going out and having an affair but from the standpoint of just wanting to crawl in bed some days and not do anything. To escape from your everyday, day-in-day-out existence. I think Ms. Brae reaches many of us with that. I know there are days that I'd like to throw it all in the air and not worry about paying bills, fixing dinner, going to work, feeding the dogs, doing the laundry, and so on. Maybe some days I'd like to read all day or Netflix all day or maybe float in my pool all day. Unfortunately, we don't get to do that. We do have responsibilities. We can take a day off here and there but we can't ignore our responsibilities for an extended period. I definitely wouldn't drop off the grid and leave my child or children. That, to me, is unthinkable. However, we know Carin was at a definite low point. Also, when she met Matias, he was also looking to escape impending responsibilities to his own family via an engagement to a woman he didn't love. Their situation was like a "perfect storm." The timing was there when they met and fell in love. Then it begs the question, at what point should "love be the priority" above all else? Does true love trump parenthood? Does it have the right to ruin a marriage even if the person you married isn't your soulmate, don't you have a responsibility to them? Should it be more important than your career?

I was back and forth with my feelings as I read this book. It's emotional and difficult to read because you know she's suffering but you still can't get behind everything she does because some of it seems so selfish. I won't tell much more because I don't want to give any of the storyline away. I'll just say that it was beautifully written. Ms. Brae definitely is a gifted author.

Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This was definitely not the book for me. I didn't like the h, Carin. I found her selfish and felt no sympathy for her. I didn't understand how she fell into a relationship with Matias. There just wasn't much there to allow me to connect to them. All tell, no show. 40% in and I was ready to call it quits. I skimmed to the end to see how it all ended. And I must have missed something big, because the ending was so cryptic. I am wondering what I missed, so I will probably hunt for spoilers to see if someone explains it.

When I was contacted asking for my honest opinion of Christine Brae's latest novel, "The Year I Left", I was thrilled. Last year I had read Eight Goodbyes by this author and absolutely loved it. Christine Brae's writing style is almost poetic and her books are deeply emotional.

Although that same quality of work is still present in this latest novel, I had a tough time getting through it. This was a personal issue with me and in no way should reflect on the book itself. Like I said, Christine Brae is a fabulous writer and this book was written beautifully. Written in first person, the subject matter deals with that time in a person's life when they step back and examine whether or not they are truly happy. It deals with the loss of a loved one, depression and life changes and how Carin Frost chose to deal with her personal situation. Her choice made it difficult for me to connect with this character. But again, like I said, this was a personal issue with me.

I can't really say more about this book without giving away some spoilers. Not going to do that!

Very interesting read. Enjoyed it very much. A page turner....couldn't wait to see what happened next. Thank you Christine Brae for this great book!