Thank you, NetGalley for the ARC of this book. I struggled with this book but I couldn't put it down. As I was reading it, I kept thinking what is it about this book and I wanted to stop reading it because it just wasn't making any sense to me. But after reading it, came an understanding that this is what grief and depression are, it makes no sense, it is hard to understand and we don't know what we or someone going through this will do. I think I kept reading this book because having lost so many family members that I always just felt like I was in a fog but by reading this book, it gave me a better understanding of what I had gone through. Instead of just remembering the fog, the book shed light on grief and depression.

Christine Brae never fails to craft a satisfying story, and in this one, she's surpassed her previous works. Brae does a fine job of conveying the pain and loss of being broken for so long, the need to come back to life, that point you get to where fear doesn't close the door all the way, and you can be bold. The narrative is especially stellar with its tiny sensory details that give the reader the sense of really being there, and that allows us to connect with the characters to a much greater degree. I love it when an author earns all of the raves he or she gets from a fandom, and if this were my first Brae book, I'd have to seek out and read all the others.

Christine Brae is a new to me author and I found her voice very pleasing. The Year I Left is very well written and packed with emotion. I'm hoping to read more by this author soon.

I connected with this book from the start. I was caught with the description as it so sounded like my life. Unlike Carin, I have not found a new male interest. The story had highs and lows. Maybe we should root for the marriage to workout but you can tell Carin is struggling and needs to find herself. I am sure many wives can get like this at times and finding your way out can be difficult. If only we all could make the bold and drastic choice she did. The only think I wish after reading it was for there to be more!

4.5 stars!
Carin is a successfully independent career woman, a wife and a mother of a ten-year-old boy frantically juggling chores and duties. The recent death of her mother plus the growing distance between her and her husband adds up to her feeling of despondency and resentment, emptiness and overwhelming emotions. Reading through all these and how she reacted to family situations you don’t need to be a rocket scientist or a psychologist to know that she is clinically depressed; although her husband’s laissez faire attitude towards her doesn’t help either.

This beautiful narrative is written in three parts, the first two in Carin’s point of view and the last one is from Matias’ perspective. Ms. Brae never disappoints with her stories, she has a knack of weaving a tapestry of words that will keep you entertained. Although I loved the plot of this story, I find the main characters a bit hard to like at some points in this book: Carin with her life-changing decisions, Jack’s emotional detachment and Matias’ selfish attitude. They might not be the lovable characters I hoped I’d find in this book but one can totally relate on how they feel. There are some minor details regarding Carin’s background that I thought was contradictory but I don’t want to split hairs about it because overall this is a wonderful story about life, love and second chances.

“Because of you, I have heard the colors of the sky, seen the rushing of the wind and tasted the sound of love’s sweet words. To you, I give all my life, all my love, my present and my past. Whether together or apart the one truth I will always have is you.”

I have followed this author’s journey in writing and considering that this will be her last one, I thought that she finished it on a high, at the top of her game. A truly poignant swan song this book is one of my favourite reads this year. Highly recommended!

6 Holy F***! Holy F***! Holy F***! Stars
Favorite read of 2019.

Have you ever read a book and just knew it was going to be a favorite of yours for years to come? An automatic reread? A must have for your signed shelf? That's The Year I Left, for me. This book and its characters impacted my being. Carin and Matias are forever cemented in my heart and soul. I won't soon be forgetting them and the affecting, self-reflecting exploration they took me on.

"They say it takes just one thing to push you over, to rouse you from your sleep. For me, it was a long time coming, shredding parts of myself and what little resilience I had left."

I can't really go into detail with my review. I know its cliché but you really need to experience this book blind, with no bias. Just know by the time I closed the cover of this book I was a train wreck; a complete emotional mess. I was forever changed.

Weeks later and I am still finding myself thinking about Carin and Matias and all the feels that came with them. Their dynamic. Their chemistry. Their love. Their penance. Their recklessness. Their selfishness. Their happiness and sadness. Their survival.

While reading, keep in mind that sometimes we have no other choice but to make the ultra, hard decisions in order to fix the broken pieces within us. Even if isn’t a decision society or ourselves would deem appropriate. We aren’t robots. We aren’t just mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, and friends. We are humans; with real human actions, thoughts, and feelings.

"I just stopped giving a damn. Nothing interested me. I was beset by indifference. I just couldn't keep up anymore. The sleepless nights, the exhaustion, the constant streaming in my head. Everything seemed so insignificant, so mundane."

And when you add that on top of mental illness…

So when you start to get pissed off or frustrated (You will. That I can promise.) push forward. Take this journey with Carin. See this through her eyes and the eyes of many of us who have felt that all-consuming desolate, depressive existence.

"In every life, there is that one time. When for one minuscule moment, you are selfish, self-serving, even hedonistic. You become a mercenary for yourself, an advocate for your own happiness."

I highly recommend The Year I left and the poignant, raw, gritty look at love, sacrifice, choices, strength, and self-discovery it delivers. The journey Brae and her characters take you on isn't for the faint of heart. It isn't for the judgmental. It isn't for the close minded. For most of us it will resonate on a myriad of levels. It will have you taking a second look at life around you. It will leave you altered. It will leave you questioning your own moral code/reality.

This exquisitely written gem is Brae at her best!

Thank you, Christine Brae, for the compliment copy of The Year I Left.

Going into this book knowing it will be Christine’s last novel I have been slowing reading it to try and savor every word she’s written. She weaves an intricate tale of loss, love, family, regret and hope. This book is one that will stay with me long after the last page is read. A fitting final novel to an incredibly talented author.

I just couldn't find this book believable in almost any way.. A highly successful business woman who is suffering from the loss of her mom, doesn't pay the bills, ruins the family credit, misses everything going on with her family, allows her hubby to spend beyond their means without comment.... need I go on?
Carin, the wife, mother, lover was depressed as I had mentioned, but on top of that she seemed too selfish to me. She neglected her son for her lover, but why run away from it all instead of do both if she really cared about either of them? Her marriage didn't make her happy, but she did nothing to try to work it out. Yes, hubby seemed like an overgrown 7th grade boy into his toys, but there was no effort on the part of either of them to try to see the other and make the other happy.
The lover was also too selfish and could only see that he wanted her and that no one else could have her without his feelings being hurt. Didn't she love him enough to leave her family and thoughts of them behind?
Sorry, this book was not for me; I just didn't like any of the characters. Thank you NetGalley for an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.

This book bored me to death, and I skimmed a lot. I could not connect with the characters, and the story lacked flow.
Even at the beginning of the book, I found it odd that he mentions he has been meaning to see her in Chicago for business, and then moments later asks her if she lives in California?
I seriously did not see the point of this book.

“You live, you love, you lose”

I received a complimentary advance copy of this book to give a voluntary honest review. This review contains only my own thoughts and opinions of this book.

Sadly, this book was not much to my liking. It had nothing really to do with the the writing. All that was completely fine. I can even appreciate its unique qualities, like how the book is written as a journal for Matias, addressing him personally as “You” instead of “him”. Perhaps The Year I Left is that journal Carin writes and he later finds in their hideaway. If so it was a very clever way to write out this story.

As much as that writing-style impressed me however, the thing that made me dislike this book was the characters. I just could not get behind Carin’s behavior and later on her actions. Believe me, I understood why she was so depressed and why she had to end her marriage. That I had no issue with. What really bugged me was just her personality. She was so self involved and selfish and could not think outside herself or about the people around her. It was all about her, her, her. I suppose it was so to show how depressed she really was but it was just so overdone that she got on my nerves, being melodramatic and repetitive about how she wasn’t herself, how she didn’t care anymore, etc. What she really should had been sorry for however, was not loving her son enough because what she did to him was downright rotten.

Sure, she was guilty about what she did and missed him, but she still had this attitude that she deserved to do that for her happiness and for love, that she somehow had earned it. She kept saying thing like how her life meant nothing until Matias and time with him was the happiest of her life like her son (who, mind you, should be the one she should mean when saying that if she was even half a decent mother) didn’t exist. Yes, she did what she did because of her depression and trying to find happiness and meaning in her life. You can twist and turn it however you like, but she is still a mother who choose to abandon her own son.

This also says a lot about Matias, knowing he took a mother away from her son. It was of course her own choice but he had no issues with it either. He even kept being hurt every time she had doubts or guilt about it. Being angry that she put her son before him (which she technically and selfishly didn’t actually do). He had this delusion that he should be more important to her and pressured her to stay with him letting her son keep living in misery, thinking his mother either died or abandoned him. To me, Matias was just as rotten as Carin, especially when they departed, being angry that she had kept in touch with her family instead of committing all her time to him.

In a way I guess they were the perfect couple both being that selfish and emotionally stupid to not understand what pain they put their families through. The fact that it was also completely unnecessary makes her and Matias even more heartless. Because why did they have to run away together? He said earlier he would end his engagement for her and she was as close to a divorce as she could get. They could have just ended their relationship with their spouses (which, let’s be honest, would have been the kinder option to do for their spouses than cheating on them and leading them on) and started dating like a normal couple. She had already moved out and started a new life with her son so I do not see what was holding her back, what was holding either of them back. They acted like star-crossed lovers who had no hope for a relationship. They even ended things permanently when they were found saying it was impossible for them to be together. This did not make a lick of sense because literally nothing about why it was forbidden was explained. It just was, like we readers should get on board and feel sorry for the “Star-crossed” lovers after they had abandoned the people they loved for no apparent reason whatsoever. Downright rotten.

As you can tell, this book really didn’t float my boat. I guess because the whole plot seemed so unnecessary and insensible to me. I do not mean to bash down the work of an author and I did see potential. If the storyline and the forbidden romance was explained more, as well as what they did to the ones they loved was acknowledged as extremely insensitive by both themselves and the people around them, I might have been a bit more on board. Because of the potential I did see I will give this book two stars.

If I had to describe Christine Brae’s writing in one word, it would have to be magnificent. The flawless second-person singular narrative in past tense is a powerful one, taking the reader on a crushing journey from the protagonist’s perspective. In my opinion, using this inner thoughts method was brave as it could easily have isolated the other characters. This was by no means the case. And then came another delightful surprise. Plentiful dialogue between her heroine and the other characters was executed in such a way that I couldn’t pull myself away. The true-to-life plot is remarkably good, and it’s clear to see from this book and others from Brae that’s she’s a well-traveled woman. Her description of places and happenings gave me a certain déjà vu feeling, bringing out all the smiles, sometimes tears. And not only did the fish and chips scenario make me chuckle, but the mentioning of Spanish cities and wording was delightfully spot on.

I found it a tad difficult connecting with Carin Frost straightaway. If she hadn’t been so indecisive and got to grips with her issues earlier which was what I wanted, maybe I would have thought differently. Ahh, but later I realized how unfair my opinion of her was. The author clearly wanted me to suffer. Because I did…and a lot. With so much to lose, what’s there to gain by upsetting life’s balance when it appears that you have everything? Granted, she works long hours, is away from home more often than not and responsible for the running of a multinational business. A loving family, a husband who’s attentive and an adorable son wise beyond his years, yet with her admission, even when her selfishness was manifested, it became a welcome reprieve.

‘When you open up to even your closest allies, they always turn your deepest darkest secrets against you.’

Carin’s personal conflicts became mine and despite those around her having a very good idea she’s in pain, they don’t know to what extent. Unless she opens her heart to those who care for her, neither she nor they can move on. I’m sure many of us have had at one point or another experienced distress similar to hers. Illness, vulnerability in relationships, losing someone dear, these factors and more affect us deeply and we’re at a loss. Although her guilt is excruciatingly heartbreaking to read, I never ever blamed Carin for her actions. Intent on finding the peace of mind she desperately needs, I thought she would eventually find it. I’m leaving this question open for you. Will she?

‘I should be grateful, my life is so good. I have nothing to complain about. They’ve been trying to get me back, but I’m so far gone. I’m so far gone!’

Matias Torres is a successful Spanish businessman, drop-dead gorgeous, well-mannered and outwardly calms troubled waters. Inwardly, he also has problems of his own but of a different kind. Carin and Matias’ magnetic attraction for each other leaps off the pages. She tries to ward him off…well, as much as is possible and goes out of her way not to be around him. Still, all is not what it seems.

“When he’s around, I live a few brief moments. And then I die again.”

Here’s one totally smitten guy who’s respectful of her wishes. In one scene which left me aghast, he convinces her to take a running jump into the unknown. If Carin’s state of mind worried me, Matias’ worried me more. Why, when he has such a promising future, did he go to such extremes? Easy to answer, love. But in all its fragility and with so much at stake, trying his hardest to help Carin feel at ease with herself might not be enough.

“Could love come that quickly? Could it die in haste too?”

The before and the after. Part II is a game changer. If I cried in the first half, heartfelt scenes in the second left me with a feeling of utter joy. Yet Brae still kept that sense of the fragility going. She gave me hope, she made me take a serious look at things we take for granted. Surrounding ourselves with seemly essential things that make us happy in Carin’s book, isn’t the answer. Actually, Brae’s look on life is nothing less than awe-inspiring, her descriptive writing which took me to paradise, out of this world.

‘We steal the moments that belong to others.’

Sadly, Christine’s creative penmanship we shall see no more. I can’t thank her enough for leaving us this legacy of characters impossible to forget, impossible to say goodbye to. The Year I Left is a masterpiece, it is everything. Brae coaxed every imaginable emotion out of me and had me rooting for both Carin and Matias. After turning the last page, I quite honestly didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or shout at the top of my voice. Not at all expected, it was an ending for a beginning. Or was it really? A love story with a difference, a top quality romance not to be missed. Bravo!

‘Every beginning has an end. And every end starts with a beginning.’

A very different Interesting read!! Overall a good book. I found it to be a little unbelievable at times and found some decisions that were made to be a little out there, but considering the place that the heroine was in emotionally, I can understand it w little better, It kept my attention and it was a page turner. Overall glad I read it and you should pick it up!!

This book is beautifully written & Christine’s style is incredibly unique. At times wistful & at times heartbreaking, Carin’s story is relatable on many levels. There were times when her despair resonated so strongly with me. While I could never see myself making the choices she made, I completely understand her desire to feel whole again. She lived her life in a broken state for so long; she didn’t know how else to reclaim herself. This is a story about love and heartbreak, but it’s also a story of redemption. Life may feel like it’s over sometimes & when it does, you need to pick yourself up & try again.

I usually love this author and her writing but this one just didn't do it for me. The narration just didn't flow well and left me utterly bored. Not a fan of this one.

This story had me in tears in just a few short chapters. Most women I know can relate to Carin, being overwhelmed with all a woman does in being a mother, a wife, having a fast moving career... Depression is a real thing and it sometimes seems to comes out of nowhere. Enter the man of your dreams, Matias Torres., the opposite of any man in your life so far. What about a chance at a simpler life, one filled with more love imaginable? This story pulled out ever possible emotion from my heart. Christine Brae has a way with words that make you feel her story in every possible way. I love every single book she has written but ‘The Year I Left’ is her best yet. I would say every woman out there who has ever wondered “Is there something else? Is this who I really am?” Needs to read this book. Your heart will become part of the story and it will not leave you. Thank You Christine for another amazing book. I think this one will be ingrained in my own heart forever

Christine Brae's lyrical writing spoke to my heart three years ago for the first time and continues to evoke soul-stirring emotions with her upcoming release, The Year I Left, today. Christine is leaving us with the legacy of six beautiful books to her name as she moves forward in life - this stunning story will be the final chapter in published books from Brae. Don't fret, friends, she's going out with a bang. Even if the last book is your first read by Brae, you won't want to miss out.

I'm thrilled to say The Year I Left has surpassed In This Life as my favorite Christine Brae novel. While In This Life will always be high on my shelf of favorite books of all-time, somehow The Year I Left spoke to me on a deeper level. There's something wonderful about a book that makes one able to reflect upon their own life and feel a sense of kinship with the text. While many themes are exhibited in this novel, the pillars in my mind are of timing, the choices we make, and self-love.

"It's never the wrong time. Things happen and you make it work. You fit it in your timeline. You don't get to choose where or when."

I think many times in life, we use timing as an excuse to avoid making difficult decisions. Comfort is the easiest choice, but it doesn't mean it's the best choice. Carin's journey takes readers through the darkest times we face as wives, mothers, and women in general. She searches her soul with honesty and courage. While we might not agree with every choice she makes, I think it's important to remember this fictional story is taking us to a place many of us may have daydreamed about ourselves. Ultimately, The Year I Left communicates one point incredibly clearly - this one life we have been given is ours for the living. Oftentimes, we get caught in a cycle of living for others and lose ourselves. Sometimes the most selfish act is essential for our personal survival.

"Oftentimes, the choices you make for yourself will hurt someone else."

Though this romantic story will have you all up in your feelings, Carin's friendship with Diana was one of the highlights of this novel for me. I absolutely loved watching their relationship grow and experiencing how quickly some friendships are able to form. Diana felt honest and easy to be around, like someone I wish I knew in real life! The parallels between the lives of these two friends made me reflect on just how similar my own story was to theirs. Love often leads us on journies we never expect to take, making us do things we could never fathom we'd have the guts to do.

"We were two kindred souls who in many ways were hungry for the gift of friendship."

Upon finishing this book, I felt such an immense sense of peace. I was pleased with the ending and the direction the characters were going, the romance was off the charts, and the story gave me the beneficial life lessons I've come to expect from Christine's writing. This is the type of book that left me full to the brim with feelings and inadequate words to express them. Ultimately, I think this book will be a wake-up call for some readers and relatable to women everywhere. Do yourself a favor and read The Year I Left when it releases on July 30th.