If Only I Could Tell You

Pub Date:   |   Archive Date: 15 Oct 2019

Member Reviews

Audrey has cancer and is moving into her daughter Jess's house. Her one wish is for Jess to reconcile with her sister Lily. They have been estranged for many years because of secrets within the family. This is an emotional roller coaster of a ride book. The chapters are told in Audrey, Jess, and Lily's voices in alternating chapters. This allows the reader to really connect with the characters. You will definitely need tissues as this is a book that brings out all the feels. I received an advanced readers copy and all opinions are my own.
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Overall: 2.5 Stars
Characters: 2.5/5 Stars
Believability: 3/5 Stars
Personal Opinion: 2.5/5 Stars

This was a pretty heavy read. I wasn’t a huge fan of how heavy and how much focus was spent on the more negative aspects of how people can break apart when faced with grief. While plausible from the perspective that everyone deals with grief differently, I’m struck that I’ve found yet another book in which none of the characters deal with that grief in even remotely healthy ways. I struggled to care about the characters because of that. There is very little in the way of uplifting through this because of that focus.

The story is very well written and can wrench some strong emotions from a reader with some of the subject matter that gets presented here. It just leans too heavily on the negative side of the emotional spectrum for me.


*I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. Opinions stated are honest and my own.
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Thanks to Netgalley and Harper Collins for the ARC in exchange for a review. 

I enjoyed this story. It was definitely an emotional one! This book centers on a woman and her two daughters and their life dealing with some major things that happened when the daughters were young. 

The characters and situations are believable. It’s something many people can probably relate to on some levels- the dynamics of family relationships and secrets.
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Thank you NetGalley and Harper Collins for the advanced review copy. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

So this book should come with a big old trigger warning. All the warnings. For cancer, suicide, and miscarriage. They are all talked about extensively and somewhat graphically in my opinion.

I chose this book for the cover and because of the JoJo Moyes blurb. I thought it would be a nice familial drama that made me cry. Since this book has been out in England, there are a lot of reviews that are 4 and 5 stars. I guess some people really liked this book. I, however, am not one of those people. I am rather disappointed with this book because I was expecting a nice good cry, and I ended up with a whole lot of nothing.

I like sad books when the mood is right. This is why I requested this book, a change from all of the sweet romance I’ve been reading the last month. But this book was just a lot of sadness. I want to call it melodrama because the book just didn’t know how to stop being so ridiculous. It just seemed like everything would get worse and worse for the characters. There was not even a little glimmer of hope and happiness, it was just all dreary and sad until the ending. I feel like I wasted my time reading this book.

Jess and her sister Lily have been estranged for thirty years because of some secret. Their mom is dying and wants them to reunite before she is gone. Like it’s just over and over with the secret and you can’t figure it out because the mystery isn’t revealed til later, and it kind of really bugged me that was used as a plot device because it took away from the story. So you get sisters that are not speaking and a mother who wants to make it all better. Then the book is really sad the entire time. I don’t want to give anything away and it’s impossible to really talk about the book without doing so. You just have a lot of bad events in this family, and then the book is over. The miscarriage scene is hard to read... the suicide is very descriptive... there’s even someone coming out and it’s just handled so poorly...  I ended up skimming the end of this book because I just needed closure. I suppose if you want a sad book with nothing happy at all, this is a good one for you. After this one read, I don’t plan to ever pick up a book by this author... it’s really not for me,
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“Can one rewrite the script if their life before it is too late “
Audrey has months to live and before she leaves this world she’d like to see her two daughters end their 30 year feud.  Although neither girl will tell her what started this 30 years ago 
Told by three points of view and the past and present, and do beautifully written, this book deals with secrets, cancer, miscarriages, death.  It is not an easy read but it is written with so much depth and understanding
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A story of a family saga from the points of 3 people, a mother and two daughters. It follows them from the aftermath of family tragedy during the girls childhood that has led the sisters to become estranged.  

The first half of the book had a big question mark revolving around what happened with little past snipits leading up to the event, after the event, around the event and left the readers hanging well past the middle point.  While I normally enjoy a good mysterious revelation in this particular story it was way too drawn out and detracted from becoming engaged with the story.  This felt like a lukewarm book version of a lifetime movie.  I just didn't feel any deep connection to the characters to make me fall in love with them and their stories.  This was blurbed as a must read for fans of This is Us.  If you are big on family drama and conflict you may enjoy this.
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WOW!  This book was a roller coaster ride because I knew something happened but I couldn't figure out what, The things that happened will blow you away.  There is so much to this book, how a chain of events affected the lives of so many family members.  It separated two sisters, and when they had kids, the two girls found each other on social media.  But they didn't know what happened and why their mothers didn't have anything to do with each. As I read the book, I had guessed at what would be happening but I was always wrong.  This is definitely not a book that you will know what is going to happen. This is a book that will keep you turning the pages but only one at a time, so much happens that you could miss things if you missed a page or two.
It is a book that will bring out emotions as you read the book. and I asked myself what would I do if faced with the same things.  Read the book and I wonder what you would do.  
I received an ARC from NetGalley and I have to say this was the perfect book to kick me into fall and I loved it.  Still, don't know what I would do but it gave me a whole new perspective.
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Publisher’s description: A secret between two sisters.

A lifetime of lies unraveling.

Can one broken family find their way back to each other?

Audrey’s dream as a mother had been for her daughters, Jess and Lily, to be as close as only sisters can be. But now, as adults, they no longer speak to each other, and Audrey’s two teenage granddaughters have never met. Audrey just can’t help feeling like she’s been dealt more than her fair share as she’s watched her family come undone over the years, and she has no idea how to fix her family as she wonders if they will ever be whole again.

If only Audrey had known three decades ago that a secret could have the power to split her family in two, and yet, also keep them linked. And when hostilities threaten to spiral out of control, a devastating choice that was made so many years ago is about to be revealed, testing this family once and for all.

Once the truth is revealed, will it be enough to put her family back together again or break them apart forever?

Wow...just wow. Talk about feeling all the feels.

Hannah Beckerman’s “If Only I Could Tell You” is the story of Audrey and her daughters Lily and Jess. Told from each of their viewpoints, intertwined through the entire book, we see all of their stories and get pieces of their secrets. I had a hunch about the big reveal, and I was trying to figure out how it was going to play out. But when the bomb finally dropped, I was just blown away. I really would never have guessed it. 

This is a heart-wrenching story of love and secrets and forgiveness and...oh, so much. This one will break your heart and it is totally worth it. 

A huge thanks to NetGalley and HarperCollins for an advance copy of this title in exchange for an honest review. This title is scheduled for release on October 15, 2019.
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"If Only I Could Tell You" by Hannah Beckerman is the lovely but heartbreaking story of Audrey and her two estranged adult daughters, Jess and Lily.  Audrey, who is dying of cancer, desperately wants her daughters to reconcile.  The story switches between the points of view of the three women and also between the past and present, but is never confusing and this method is very effective in building suspense toward the big reveal of why the sisters are estranged.  The plot is very realistic, so much so that, at times, it was not easy for me to read because it triggered my emotions so deeply.  This book deals with several heavy topics such as suicide, cancer, miscarriage, adultery, and the death of a child.  This is a great book, but it is definitely not light reading!  I give it 4/5 stars, subtracting a star because the story was a bit repetitive at times and the ending was fairly predictable.

Many thanks to NetGalley, Hannah Beckerman, and HarperCollins Publishers of the privilege of reading an advanced digital copy of this beautiful story of family, love, and loss.
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If Only I Could Tell You was one of my highly anticipated fall reading picks. I love books that weave family history into present-day issues and this book kept me guessing while also having a relatable storyline. This was definitely heartbreaking at many moments but also had elements of hope. 

Sorrow and loss and the choices we make can have life long ramifications that many readers will be able to relate. This book consists of big tragedies and smaller everyday ones and while I think this will affect readers differently, I connected a lot with this. I enjoyed how the story slowly evolved and I felt like it had a satisfying ending. I love books that suck me in while also having me think about things that have happened in my own life and this was a great balance. 

Thank you to Harper Collins & NetGalley for an ARC of this book. All opinions are my own.
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What a roller coaster of emotions! Hannah Beckerman did an amazing job of not only keeping me on the edge of my seat throughout this entire book but she did a fantastic job of keeping so many secrets under lock and key until the very end. I had so many suspicions as to how this story would pan out, and I was wrong every time. 

This is such a heart-breaking and heart-warming story, but totally worth reading. I think the storyline was very much relatable, and it’s stories like this one that are so raw and real that draw me in even more. Highly recommend!

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Jess has been angry at her older sister for thirty years. She keeps her daughter away from her cousin. Audrey is dying from cancer and her family is fractured because of a tragedy and secrets. THe author keeps readers guessing just what that tragedy is. I admit, I had The wrong idea about what occurred. It's only until halfway brought an important aspect of the story is revealed and then it Became predictable. It's a novel about sorrow, deep seated misplaced anger, and healing.
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Beautiful. Tragic. Beautiful. What an emotionally draining read. It was also impossible to put it down, and I read it in under 4 hours.

Audrey, Jess and Lily have survived the unthinkable. But, it takes them 28 years to come out on the other side.

The prose was absolutely beautiful. Figurative language that will gut you.

I’m such a sucker for tear jerkers. As a mom and as a daughter who lost a parent to cancer, this story reduced me to tears more than once.
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I received this title courtesy of NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are given freely and are my own.

Secrets can tear a family apart and for Audrey’s family that’s exactly what happened. A secret decades ago tore her daughters apart and now Jess and Lily no longer speak. But, 30 years ago is a long time and as Audrey’s health begins to deteriorate, she’s determined to right whatever happened between her daughters and create a bond between her granddaughters, granddaughters of the same age that have never had the opportunity to meet. But, as Audrey discovers the truth, will she be able to right the past before it’s too late?

I absolutely adored this novel. From the start, I was invested in the characters and their relationships with each other. I wanted resolution immediately and I was convinced that I knew the secrets only to be completely wrong (which was fine by me). I loved how everything evolved over the course of the novel and I was invested every step of the way. I simply could not put this book down.
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If Only I Could Tell You is about a  festering secret kept for thirty years.  That's made clear in the first two chapters.  After a few more chapters of reading about arguments, sleepless nights, and endless tension, I was ready to scream, tell me, already!
But Beckerman didn't tell until nearly the end. Instead she threw out red herrings to lead the reader in all the wrong directions.  I thought I had it figured out about a third of the way in, but I was wrong.  The mysterious secret isn't what kept me reading. It was the women, three different alternating voices, who were so well drawn they pulled me into their world and made me care what happened to each of them. 
This isn't a happy book.  Beyond the main dark secret, it's full of  tragedies great and small, all the scary things that we pray will never happen to us. Other reviewers have listed some of those family tragedies. I won't because they aren't what the story is about.
If I Could Only Tell You is about women. It's about the choices we make and the choices that are made for us. It's about how those choices affect our lives and the lives of children and grandchildren.
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