Jess has been angry at her older sister for thirty years. She keeps her daughter away from her cousin. Audrey is dying from cancer and her family is fractured because of a tragedy and secrets. THe author keeps readers guessing just what that tragedy is. I admit, I had The wrong idea about what occurred. It's only until halfway brought an important aspect of the story is revealed and then it Became predictable. It's a novel about sorrow, deep seated misplaced anger, and healing.

Beautiful. Tragic. Beautiful. What an emotionally draining read. It was also impossible to put it down, and I read it in under 4 hours.

Audrey, Jess and Lily have survived the unthinkable. But, it takes them 28 years to come out on the other side.

The prose was absolutely beautiful. Figurative language that will gut you.

I’m such a sucker for tear jerkers. As a mom and as a daughter who lost a parent to cancer, this story reduced me to tears more than once.

I received this title courtesy of NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are given freely and are my own.

Secrets can tear a family apart and for Audrey’s family that’s exactly what happened. A secret decades ago tore her daughters apart and now Jess and Lily no longer speak. But, 30 years ago is a long time and as Audrey’s health begins to deteriorate, she’s determined to right whatever happened between her daughters and create a bond between her granddaughters, granddaughters of the same age that have never had the opportunity to meet. But, as Audrey discovers the truth, will she be able to right the past before it’s too late?

I absolutely adored this novel. From the start, I was invested in the characters and their relationships with each other. I wanted resolution immediately and I was convinced that I knew the secrets only to be completely wrong (which was fine by me). I loved how everything evolved over the course of the novel and I was invested every step of the way. I simply could not put this book down.

<i>If Only I Could Tell You</i> is about a festering secret kept for thirty years. That's made clear in the first two chapters. After a few more chapters of reading about arguments, sleepless nights, and endless tension, I was ready to scream, tell me, already!
But Beckerman didn't tell until nearly the end. Instead she threw out red herrings to lead the reader in all the wrong directions. I thought I had it figured out about a third of the way in, but I was wrong. The mysterious secret isn't what kept me reading. It was the women, three different alternating voices, who were so well drawn they pulled me into their world and made me care what happened to each of them.
This isn't a happy book. Beyond the main dark secret, it's full of tragedies great and small, all the scary things that we pray will never happen to us. Other reviewers have listed some of those family tragedies. I won't because they aren't what the story is about.
If I Could Only Tell You is about women. It's about the choices we make and the choices that are made for us. It's about how those choices affect our lives and the lives of children and grandchildren.