Cover Image: The Complicated Heart

The Complicated Heart

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Member Reviews

I was unable to get past the early portion of this book as it did not fit with my work at the time. Now, when it would be of interest to me, I no longer have access to the work. My apologies for the delay that eventually resulted in my inability yo provide useful feedback.

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3.5 stars. The Uncomplicated Heart is a hard read. The author recounts memories in a journal-like format. She states the journal entries are in no particular order . Her memories/ journal entries to be like a stream of consciousness and I had difficulty following the sequence. I found a parallel of similarities between the entries and her dysfunctional life: both depicted chaos. While I appreciate what she is sharing, it was confusing to follow such a stream of consciousness, especially since it wasn’t clearly depicted when said events occurred . Also, transitioning between the author’s journal entries and her mother’s entries added to the confusion,

The author shared real and raw events. It is a difficult read yet an important read for those who needs hope and help in their chaos. It is invaluable to know one is not alone and there are others who have experienced the depth of depression and the horrors of dysfunction . Author Sarah Mae provides such hope and help . I appreciate her honesty and vulnerability. There is an appendix which offers some excellent resource materials.

My thanks to NetGalley for a complimentary digital book in exchange for an honest review,

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This is a powerful, redemptive, healing story about Sarah Mae's childhood with an alcoholic mother, the way it influenced her life and choices even into her adult years, and how she found healing + forgiveness.

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5 stars. This book break my heart, but reminded me of how Jesus always knits us back together. There is no greater power than the testimonies of how Jesus has changed us and Sarah Mae and her mother, Susan's, stories do just that. Review to come.

Due to being a high school teacher, I have been falling behind on reviews. Here are my initial thoughts.

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I was excited for this book after hearing her share about her troubled relationship with her mom on a podcast, but the story felt incomplete and lacking to me.

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Stunningly honest, this raw account that Sarah Mae tells about her upbringing and relationship with her mother is appallingly gripping. My heart hurt reading of her mother's alcoholism, abuse, and manipulation that Sarah encountered, and it's far-reaching effects that still plague her in adulthood. Sarah's redemption by her Saviour Jesus Christ and the healing of her brokenness is beautifully inspiring. I'm so glad that she and her mother were brave enough to tell their story. I pray that it blesses and encourages many who have had similar paths.

My thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for an ARC for this my honest review.

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Though you never know what someone goes through it is always encouraging when you read a book of redemption and hope. This wasn’t an easy book to read but it was an important one to read. Grateful for the opportunity to read this story.

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A beautiful, broken and balanced account of the hurting and healing from an alcoholic, despondent and abusive mother. The Author is very honest throughout both as to her mother's shortcomings and her own. All praise be to God alone who can take a disaster and show himself to be good in the midst of it all.

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This book is going to change lives. Sarah is not afraid of the ugly parts of life. She dives in to all of the nitty gritty and bares it all. This book was difficult to read, but also so difficult to put down. The stories of abuse and manipulation are hard to read. But seeing the way that Sarah overcame all of that to become who she is today is so incredible and inspiring. This story of redemption and healing is so beautifully written. Even if you don't have a complicated past, you need to read this book. The chances of you loving someone with a difficult past are very high, and being able to empathise will be so beneficial.

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Sarah Mae's story of pain, heartache, and dysfunction within her family of origin is told so well that it becomes very relatable, even though I did not have her set of circumstances growing up. I am very close to family-of-origin trauma and dysfunction through my marriage, and reading Sarah Mae's book helped me understand more of how and why the brokenness spreads so far and wide when pain is not addressed and healed. I even read parts of The Complicated Heart to my spouse to share that there are others who have similar abusive and gaslighting experiences and that there is hope of recovering emotional and spiritual wholeness.

A part of the book that I found especially unique and helpful was reading Sarah Mae's mother's (Susan) own journal entries. Reading Susan's journals gave a human perspective to abuse and how the abuser's own hurt plays a part in their spreading more pain. It didn't erase or minimize the abuse, but it gave a multi-faceted view of how complicated these relationships truly are. I appreciated hearing Susan's voice, even though it broke my heart into a million pieces.
The Complicated Heart had me crying in a few parts, some out of uncovering my own hurt, some out of understanding my spouse's hurt and behavior, and some out of the hope that "dysfunction doesn't have to be our legacy."

The chapters on Core Lies and Vows are very valuable, too. I learned so much about how to love difficult painful people while still putting strong safe boundaries in place. I learned it's possible to face what happened and still not lose hope.

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I’ll be completely honest. This book was hard to read, partly because my relationship with my own mother is strained. But Sarah Mae writes with such hope and encouragement that even in the midst of struggles, abuse, depression, there is still hope that it won’t always be this way.

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I feel as though this book would be more properly categorized as a memoir. ‘A Complicated Heart’ is written by Sarah about her complicated relationship with her mother growing up and how that relationship impacted her throughout her lifetime. I have no other opinion about this piece other than she is brave and strong for sharing all of her experiences and the innermost thoughts with her audience.

I hate rating memoirs, because I don’t think it is our place to rate others stories. Her story is beautiful and I know she and her mother will help so many others by sharing what they experienced together. I only knocked it down one star because I wasn’t expecting a memoir.

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Relationships are challenging but what do we do when the one who should love us best simply isn't able to do it well? Through the pages of "The Complicated Heart" author Sarah Mae unpacks exactly that. Tenderly but honestly, Sarah invites us into her complicated relationship with her mother. Though her story is hard, she candidly shares her journey with the reader, being very real and giving voice to hardship that is all too common but rarely related with such integrity. Though there are some very difficult edges to Sarah's story, this book will be helpful for those extending boundaries in the midst of complicated relationships with loved ones. (I received an advance reader copy of this book from B & H Publishers and this is my honest review.)

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43067508-the-complicated-heart

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It's someone story, and how can you rate the accuracy of someone's life?
I have known Sarah Mar thanks to the (in)courage.me site for a number of years, but I haven't been actively following her. When I saw this book available on the Net Galley site I was curious to learn more about her. Also, I heard her on Annie F. Down's podcast before I read the book, which is actually what prompted me to want to read it. I can't comment on the topic of the book: it's raw and hard and I am glad she was brave to share it and open the conversation for people with a familiar or similar background.
All that to say, if you want to read about someone's resilience and victories in Jesus despite all that's thrown their way - this is for you. If you want to read more tips on how to persevere, more how to’s - this is merely a starting point. Towards the end of the book she offers some guidelines, more of a point where to begin.
The topics she deals with: alcoholism, sexual relationships, abortion, and child negligence - all these are potential triggers, and are hard topics, so proceed with caution.
As far as the way the book was constructed, I liked that not only do we get to learn of her life starting from the adolescence years, but she also shares bits of her mother's journals. I love that the story is told from both "protagonists'" point of view, thus giving the reader a more rounded perspective. At times it reads like a I-cannot-believe-this-is-real novel, and yet!
I recommend this one especially for the Christian that's been moving in the Christian culture/ spheres his/her whole life. It's eye-opening to what people may come to God with. I have finished this book quite a while ago, but I needed some time to process it. I am ashamed to say and admit that at some points I was... well... judging both the author and her mother. How can someone who claims to love Jesus and be a Christian *do* something like that?! was my white Christian lady reaction. I knew I was looking down on fellow sisters in Christ, hence my reluctance to write a review. Then I was reminded of the prodigal son's brother, and his brother I was, shame on me! Who am I to judge and regard with contempt or superiority someone for whom Jesus died and forgave? That's why I think this is a needed read for the one who's been a Christian for many a year.
I hope many more people will get to read this book and find comfort, and above else, find Jesus.

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Sarah Mae's new book, The Complicated Heart, was a delight to read. Not because of the subject matter--personal brokenness, a challenging mother/daughter relationship, and so much pain... but in spite of it because of God's grace and mercy in Sarah's life, as well as in her mom's life.

The book was an easy read. Written as less of a prescriptive, self-help book and more like a memoir, Sarah's story leads by example to show all of us how we need Jesus and how we can let Him transform our lives. I appreciated the sections and questions at the end that you could use to process through your own life and identify lies, false beliefs, and areas where God can work to grow you into a person more like Him. Those would be great to do in community with a friend or a small group. Even if you can't relate to the challenges of Sarah's relationship with her mom, we all have difficult relationships so her story is so transferable to many of us.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this advanced reader's copy in exchange for an honest review.

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The Complicated Heart. Thankfully the author wrote her story for us to read. God redeems and performs miracles!

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Sarah thank you for writing your story it is brave and honest. I needed this book I need to see that there is hope for broken relationships, there is healing even if you think it is too late. Sarah tells her story and her mom's story the good the bad and the hope and the healing. I love that at the end of each chapter she includes her mom's journal entry you get a look at both sides of the story this really opened my eyes to the person in my life they're perspective this book really showed me we are all broken but we all have hope in Jesus .

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I think the main reason I liked The Complicated Heart as much as I did is because I appreciated the author's raw honesty. I would imagine that had to be a hard story to tell and that it caused memories to resurface she didn't want to think about. But it is a story that needed to be told. Her story is one of reconciliation and forgiveness with an alcoholic mother. The author extended so much grace to her mother in order for healing to take place. Sarah Mae had to set some pretty difficult boundaries with her mother and see her mother for the broken person she was in order to forgive and have a relationship with her mother.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Net Galley. The opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own.

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I received an advanced reader copy of The Complicated Heart by Sarah Mae from B&H Publishing. This book? It is raw...vulnerable...honest...transformational...hope-filled. The Complicated Heart is an “easy read” in the sense that you can devour it in a day, if you’d like. It isn’t so easy in that the author tackles the difficult issues prominent in complicated, dysfunctional relationships. In this book, the dysfunction is shown between a mother and a daughter. Reading through for yourself, it may speak to that same relationship dynamic in your life, but it doesn’t have to. You might find that you can relate it to your relationship with your sibling, spouse, friend, neighbor...you name it. That’s just it. We all have had, or are currently experiencing, a difficult, tenuous relationship. Sarah Mae tackles the issue-fraught terrain of dysfunction in a remarkable way.

The best example of this is that it’s not just her story. Sarah Mae includes excerpts from her mother’s journal along the way, giving you a glance into her mom’s thought life, what she was experiencing, and how she was processing it. Though I relate with the author’s experience as a daughter, it amazed me that I also related with her mom. There are certain excerpts from her mother’s journal I could have easily written myself.

This book has helped to show me a truth I didn’t really want to see, especially in myself. God is using it to show me that we are all broken, fallen creatures. We all, in one way or another, at one time or another, have epitomized Romans 7...we know what we ought to do, but we don’t do it. Or we know what we shouldn’t do, but we can’t help but do it.

That person who has hurt you irreparably? They may be doing the best they can with the tools they’ve got. If that person belongs to Christ, any sin committed against you by them has been nailed to the cross. If they don’t, vengeance is God’s. It’s all in His hands. God’s got it. He is sovereign. And, He is so good.

Lastly, in one of the most amazing conclusions ever, the story doesn’t end with Sarah Mae and her mom. The author moves on to give you instructions for your own life, your own relationships, your own healing. Sarah Mae leaves you with the hope that you and I have the power to stop the dysfunction. Because with Christ, “victory is always on the table.”

I can see the healing, redemptive work God is beginning in my life and my relationships because of this book. I can see the potential it has to do the same in the life of every reader. I believe it to be a timely, necessary read. I would highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone. I am hopeful it will be spread far and wide, and that God would use it to heal the hearts of so many of us hurt little girls.

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The Complicated Heart By Sarah Mae is a powerful look at the author's complicated and ultimately redemptive relationship with her mother. I could relate to her story in so many ways on my own. In the introduction to her book she writes: This is our story, the story of Mom and me, but it’s also your story, and how even in great darkness light finds a way in, comforts us when we can’t see, and leads us out into the fullness of day where redemption and freedom and healing are waiting for us. this book is very raw and real and I would recommend it to anyone who needs help in the direction of forgiveness.

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