I first heard about this book on the That Sounds Fun podcast with Annie F. Downs. The conversation with the author was so profound for me, so I immediately went to Netgalley in hopes I could get a review copy.

The Complicated Heart is written in a way I haven’t seen before for NF Christian literature. It pulls you in and engages you because it feels like a novel. Having her perspective and the journal writings of her mother helps you see many perspectives of what has happened. This is such a beautiful story of redemption and forgiveness in hard circumstances. I wasn’t expecting to devour this book, I wasn’t expecting to be confronted with unforgiveness of a loved one that I thought I had forgiven. Truly heart wrenching and worth the time if forgiveness and complicated relationships have been or our a part of your life. Something I also really appreciate was helpful tools and steps to handle these situations (mentioned throughout) are included at the end in list form. I love how convenient this is for finding it without an exhaustive search, especially in ebook format.

Sarah Mae has overcome so much in her life, by Gods Grace. She beautifully and openly tells her story of neglect, verbal abuse and unmet needs at the hands of her alcoholic mother, while interweaving her mom’s journaling thoughts throughout, even when her mother speaks negatively about Sarah herself. That’s acceptance and grace. She so wanted to honestly portray her mother’s feelings as well as her own. We learn how Sarah was, after much time and counseling and even a year of virtually no contact, able to extend her mother forgiveness, acceptance and even compassion, knowing her mother herself had experienced much pain and neglect in her life.

Chapter 13 was invaluable. It discussed strained relationships and expectations. I read this chapter twice. Having a difficult relationship and expectations that are unmet, I found this sentence alone gave me much to ponder: “In what ways am I putting myself, relationship or the other person into a state of continual failure? For example, I keep expecting my mom to be a mother, because she should be. But the fact is, she isn’t. The expectation is unrealistic and all it’s doing is causing more hurt for me and a state of failure for her because she can’t be what I want her to be.”

Especially helpful was the inclusion of information called “6 Ways to Forgive” and “How to Work Through Your Lies” taken from the work of Dave Bowman.

I cannot recommend this book enough. If you have any sort of complicated relationship, this will be an encouragement to you.

I received an ARC copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion. And then I also purchased it on audible as well.

This is the heartbreaking true story of Sarah’s relationship with her mom. Both women battle with addictions and their own demons. The beauty they both have is faith and belief in Jesus. Sarah is able to forgive her mom and let go of her expectations of her mom. This is definitely a faith based book but it is inspiring how neither one gave up in each other or their faith.

I loved Sarah’s honesty and vulnerability as she shared her story. The love she has for her mama and the respect she had for herself, and the tension she held in the middle. She shares how Jesus met her in that tension and helped her walk in forgiveness. This book is a true reflection of the heart and work of the gospel in the middle of hard life.

I think for a long time Christian women wrote books that were ridiculously fluffy. They talked about Jesus, of course, but never shared much meat from their lives. There has been a shift in this area over the past few years. Women are coming out humbly recounting deep trauma, sin, and healing. It has been the most refreshing thing to see. I had wondered if this book would be more of the old type of book, but when I dove in I was blown away by this woman’s candor. She told some hard stories. She recounted history that would lock most women in shame. Her backstory with her mama is one for the record books. It is told in the most interesting way. She came across her mother’s journals and put the timeline to what she was going through at the time. You can see both sides. If you have ever struggled with your relationship with your mom, I recommend this to you. It also leads you through a trail of what trauma can do to you and cause you to do to yourself. Read it. I found healing I didn’t know I needed locked in it’s pages.

The Complicated Heart is an emotional, complex memoir with the author's mother's painful journal entries woven throughout her book. I'm grateful that this relationship was restored in the end. This will be a good book for those struggling with hard family relationships.

I have followed Sarah Mae for years and enjoyed her books, but didn’t know the details of her tough story until I read The Complicated Heart.

Memoir is one of my favorite reading genres, and this one did not disappoint. I could relate to it in so many ways as a teen from the 1990s, plus a family member of those suffering from dysfunction, abuse, and addiction.

What inspires me most from Sarah Mae’s story is the grace and compassion she showed her mother after so much of her own suffering. It is helping me see my relatives in a new light. I want to show them grace just like Sarah Mae did.

Sarah Mae also offers helpful advice at the back of the book. She gives guidance on how to forgive and how to address the core lies you believe based on the suffering you endured. I truly appreciated these takeaways after her powerful story.

I received a preview copy of The Complicated Heart from B&H Publishers and Netgalley.

A heart breaking story; that is open and honest. Sarah Mae's brutal honesty helps the reader trust her words, and draws you into her early years and the struggles she endured. I enjoyed this book throughout and appreciated this early ebook copy from the publisher. Redemption doesn't always happen in the timing we look for and Sarah Mae tells this with harsh reality. Sometimes our healing comes only after and we need to work through guilt and regret. But Jesus is always there never allowing us to be alone. These are my words and this is my honest review.

“Two broken girls, tangled up with each other, find their only hope not in the love of a mother or father but in Jesus, who never left either of us.”
Quote from The Complicated Heart by Sarah Mae

For young girls and women who have a bad relationship with their mom and wonder if it will ever get better, The Complicated Heart is a great resource for you. Sarah does not hold back on how bad her relationship with her mother was, no matter how hard she tried to make it work. Despite all the bad stuff that happened, Sarah also shares the healing and hopeful moments that happened throughout her story, for both her and her mom.

I received an Advanced e-copy from Netgalley for a review. All opinions are my own.

Life is complicated enough without trying to live a normal life as a child shuttled back and forth between a father who loves you, but doesn't always understand you, and a mother who drinks constantly and tries to be your friend. But just like a some of your "friends" she turns on you at any moment, when you least expect it, calling you names, teling you that you are stupid or ugly. Where do you go for the comfort you need? Fortunately, Sarah finds God and runs to Him, but with having the messed up family she has, of course she doesn't know how to even accept His love, she feels she has to change herself over and over and try harder, and of course keep on failing. Fortunately, God's love is so great that it will eventually show her how to love and forgive those who have hurt her in ways that cut deeply. Sarah Mae writes in a way that keeps you reading to find out how it is done, for all of us have been hurt by someone we considered a "friend".

This is a very raw and real look at Sarah Mae's life with her alcoholic mother and how their relationship shaped and molded the path of Sarah's life. I cannot really relate to her story as I didn't have these issues at all in my childhood or adulthood, but many of the overarching concepts are relevant to me and will be relevant to all readers. Anyone who has a toxic relationship, especially with a parent or other relative will find much food for thought and prayer in this book, as it clearly shows how generational behaviors manifest themselves deeply. Yet the book also shows how a relationship with God and truly embracing God's forgiveness can help one to stop these behaviors from continuing.
Sarah intertwines journal entries of both herself and her mother over the years she was growing up and into the present. She documents the pushes and pulls of their relationship, and lays everything on the table. Sarah doesn't sugar coat her own failings, yet she also brings light and redemption into every dark corner. I especially appreciated that she did not portray herself as perfect and blame everything on her mother--she fully owns up to her own poor choices and shows how she overcame even the worst things with God's help.
The topics of overcoming the core lies that you tell yourself and the results of those lies really resonated with me. We all have issues that we need to explore and give up, and there are many applications to Sarah's transparency.
This book is a difficult read. If you are easily triggered by things, this book might not be for you, because like I said, she paints a full, real, raw picture and at times it hit me very hard. If you can muster the courage to confront those trigger issues, The Complicated Heart can help you to move toward healing and wholeness.

In this compelling memoir, Sarah Mae shares her story of growing up with an alcoholic mother. She shares her pain and struggles, as well as her path to healing. This is a the story of a mother and daughter that is filled with hurt, abuse, and difficulty. But it is a story that ends with redemption, love, and reconciliation.

Before her mother passed away, Sarah promised her that she would tell their story. This book is the fulfillment of that promise. Sarah tells her side of the story, and throughout the book she also weaves in selections from her mother's journals, giving us a peek into her mom's side of the story too.

It is a hard book to read at times because of the pain, but at the same time it is easy to read. You feel like you are right there with Sarah, listening to her heart as she shares so honestly about her past. There was reconciliation found in the end, and that was a beautiful thing to see.

This is a great book for anyone who is struggling to love and to forgive those who are close to them who have hurt them. And it is a great book for those who need help understanding the depth of pain and suffering that is present in some families.

An absolutely stunning, beautiful, and heart- wrenching story about need and redemption. The Complicated Heart is a must read for anyone with any degree of pain and hurt. While I couldn’t fully relate to many of the experiences Sarah Mae survived through, I can empathize with her pain and desire for acceptance. I feel completely honored to have read her story, and am a lifetime fan and follower of Mae’s. Thank be the Lord for amazing Christian leaders, like Sarah Mae, that show us we are all imperfect people, even leaders. We live in a broken world but through Jesus we receive grace and redemption.
A must read!

This book hit both my heart and soul. While I didn’t grow up in that sort of relationship there has been a lot of dysfunction . I loved how she wrote about how finding Jesus helped her love her mother and find her way in life.

Sarah Mae has done it again. I have read every book she has written. Each book always leaves an impression on my heart, this one is no different. It opened up wounds I forgot existed. I needed the healing rather than letting it scab over all the time. This book is raw transparency. I’m in awe at how she put it together. This book is going to bring healing to people and their families. It’s a book for generations to come. Thank you Sarah for sharing your story and your mamas story. It’ll save many lives!

This was a hard book for me to read, but it was worth it. Sarah Mae has written a powerful story about forgiving the person who hurt her so bad that she thought you would never get over it. This book shows the power of God's love and how only with His help she was able to forgive. This is a book that will stay in your mind long after you've read the last page. Thank you B&H Publishing Group B&H books via NetGalley for the ARC copy of this book. All opinions expressed are my own.

Many, if not most, of us have family or friends with whom we really want to love but just can't seem to break down those barriers. Maybe it's because we dont desire the relationship enough to put in the work. Maybe it's because we're afraid of the hurt that will likely come from getting too close (once bitten, twice shy). Sarah Mae had every reason to not pursue a relationship with her mom, yet she chose to put in the work to reach her and to show grace just as Jesus had shown her grace.

This is their story. But even more it is full of practical advice and wisdom from the counselors who helped Sarah deal with her past hurts and move forward to build a relationship with the one who hurt her. Written in classic Sarah Mae, full transparency style, this book is a must read for all who have been hurt yet want to learn how to forgive and thrive in that hard relationship.

Sarah Mae has penned an intimate, powerful book about processing her difficult relationship with her abusive alcoholic mother. The book is honest, refusing to sugar coat their struggles. The author shares how hard it was to watch her mother deteriorate over the years, eventually losing her to cirrhosis of the liver in 2016.

Mae shares her personal recollections, along with portions of her mother's journals, to give the reader perspective from both women. This is not a light hearted read, but it is worth the investment of emotion. The author continues to decompartmentalize her youth and young adult years, as painful and joyous as they could be while gaining the understanding that the same God that loved her also loved her broken mother.

The author encourages the reader to examine the relationships that cause pain and heartache in their own lives by enforcing boundaries, expressing emotions and attempting reconciliation. I think this book would be a useful tool for those who have experienced a close relationship that causes heartache. It would also be a helpful resource for those who counsel or work with others who struggle with familial relationships fraught with abuse of any kind.

While "The Complicated Heart" was a difficult memoir to read, it was a beautiful example of how God takes the ruined parts of our lives and makes them glorious. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book:

"It is a rare gift to be able to trace a life, to see what makes us fall and what makes us stand again."

"Light has stepped into the pit, quietly sitting down next to me."

"Our worth and value is only dependent on how Christ sees us, and he sees us as righteous. He loves us. We are secure in Him."

"He loves me. And when I turn from Him and go my own way, escaping my pain with whatever my addiction, trying to fix the broken places with false fixtures, He comes for me."

I was an early reviewer, thanks to B&H Publishing group. All opinions are my own and I chose to review the book.

I didn't realize how much I needed to read this book! The Complicated Heart is really a memoir of two women, a mother and her daughter. The author is the daughter and she adds some of her mothers journal entries in relevant places. The perspective of both women gave me an empathetic pull into their lives.

This book is about manipulation, hurting ourselves and how the hurting can't seem to stop hurting others. This spiral of family hurt and dysfunction has to be recognized and addressed before moving on is a possibility. I love that Sarah did learn to set boundaries in hurtful relationships, how she gives us hope by opening up and sharing her wounds with us. She shares her intimate story of her soul being repaired by God. This book is everything a memoir should be. It's about pain and rejection when we really need love and the coping habits we develop that will ultimately destroy us if we let them.

Even though this was a challenging read for me I absolutely loved this book! Sarah’s writing was open, honest & raw. I love the fact that she includes her mother’s journals to give her a voice. It lets the reader see what was going on in both sides of the story. The book did bring up a lot of unresolved feelings about my relationship with my own mother. She’s been gone 13 years and this book will help me to continue to work through my regrets and on to forgiveness. I highly recommend this to anyone who’s had a less than desirable childhood or anyone who needs help with getting to the point of forgiving.