Cover Image: I Wanted You To Know

I Wanted You To Know

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Member Reviews

Jess is just 21 years old and a new mum to baby Edie when she discovers she has breast cancer. Before long she is flung into the world of mastectomy’s and chemotherapy and isn’t getting to enjoy new motherhood as she hoped.
As soon as she is told how ill she is, she decides she must write letters to Edie and these letters are shared with us the reader: how she met Edie’s dad Jake, how they fell in love and the reason they are no longer together and how she feels about being a mum to Edie. Jess is just 21 years old and a new mum to baby Edie when she discovers she has breast cancer. Before long she is flung into the world of mastectomy’s and chemotherapy and isn’t getting to enjoy new motherhood as she hoped.
As soon as she is told how ill she is, she decides she must write letters to Edie and these letters are shared with us the reader: how she met Edie’s dad Jake, how they fell in love and the reason they are no longer together and how she feels about being a mum to Edie.
As you would expect, this is a raw and emotional read and it brought tears to my eyes on a number of occasions. Jess is lucky to have amazing support from childhood friend Gemma who helps her look after Edie, takes her to appointments but also makes her playlists and takes her out to have fun. But Jess’s relationship with her own mum, which has always been strong is rocked by her diagnosis. Her mum is understandably devastated to have a seriously ill daughter and they both struggle with this new reality.
The writing enabled me to really get into Jess’s head and I felt so sad for her. Cancer is tragic to whomever it touches and this book touched me deeply as both a mother and a daughter. As a mother, the thought of leaving my children is devastating and as a daughter I have experienced loosing my mum to cancer. I doubt there is anyone who has not had this dreadful disease touch their lives.
Laura herself was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 35 while 5 months pregnant with her second child and knew that if she died, her children would have no memory of her. I think this is why the story is so affecting. At it’s heart, this novel is a story of motherhood, daughterhood, friendship and love. A powerful book, I’d highly recommend it.

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This book is heart breaking! Jess is 21 years old and is a single parent to baby Edie when she is diagnosed with terminal cancer. The story explores the relationships between mothers and daughters (Jess lives with her own mother), and the importance of having good friends. Have a box of tissues at the ready when you read this! Thanks to NetGalley for a preview copy.
Copied to Goodreads.

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What a well written heartbreaking book.
If this book doesn’t get to you I don’t know what will.
Jess is a 21 year old with a new baby girl Evie when she finds out she has Breast cancer.
Jess decides to write letters to her daughter about all the things she won’t get to tell her
Jess is not with Evie’s dad anymore but decides that Evie must meet her dad as she doesn’t want her to not have her dad in her life like she didn’t .
Jess has to watch her mother deal with coming to terms with her daughter dying before her. Gemma her best friend whose always been there and still is for Jess. And Jake Evie’s dad and the man she still loves. All trying to come to terms with Jess dying.
If you are going to read this please have the tissues ready.
Wonderfully written Laura Pearson
Thank you NetGalley

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I still can't think of this without tearing up and my heart breaking. This book is incredibly sad and heartbreaking but also is so full of the love a mother has for her child. Cancer sucks, and this is one story of how this one relationship is ripped apart by this horrible disease.

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Lovely writing and a story that brought tears to my eyes. It is not my usual type of read and I've not quite decided yet if I will write a longer review or not.

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I think 'I Wanted You To Know' should come with a couple of warnings. Firstly - don't read in public. Secondly - don't read when you have a cold. And it should also have a free packet of tissues. I can't believe how much I cried. Normally I read Crime books so this was a bit of a departure for me. It took me a while to get into it but once I did it was very hard to stop reading.

This is beautifully written but achingly sad. In a sense there is no 'up' to this book. What happens to Jess is inevitable. Authenticity chimes throughout the whole story not least because Laura Pearson draws on her own experience with breast cancer. It certainly reminded me of a friend who died leaving behind two small children over 25 years ago. I don't think my tears were just for Jess. I loved the letters that Jess writes to Edie, her baby daughter, for her to read in the future. But it was the narrative that really pulled me along, desperate to know how Jess was going to cope.

One of the lines that grabbed my attention is in Chapter 15 - 'She'd never noticed how much she thought about the future until she didn't have one.' So true. I know I constantly think about the future - about Christmas, events I want to go to, summer holidays etc. The truth is that our lives can be turned upside down at any point. 'I Wanted You to Know' shows us this in devastating detail but with huge amounts of dignity. This is a novel that will speak volumes to so many. Just make sure you order some tissues when you buy the book.

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This is such a sad book, telling the story of a young woman, Jess, diagnosed with terminal cancer shortly after the birth of her first child. As she comes to terms with her diagnosis, she writes a series of letters to her daughter to leave behind. As you would expect, it’s a very emotional book, and the most powerful aspects were those that felt most true to life - the very believable and touching relationship between Jess and her best friend. However, the storyline with her ex boyfriend didn’t ring quite so true and felt a little off to me. I also found that the letters, though deeply emotional, felt as if they had been written by a different character somehow.

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Laura Pearson’s third novel is the tender and emotional story of a young mother, 21 year old Jess, who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Coming to terms with this devastating news, Jess decides to write a series of letters to her baby girl, all beginning with the line ‘I wanted you to know..’ This is without doubt a terribly sad story that made me cry, But it’s also a story of love and hope. It’s a book about mother’s and daughters, about strong women and great friendships. Well done Laura.

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⠀ ⠀
I wanted You To Know - Laura Pearson ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5⠀

Today is my stop on the blog tour for this touching, harrowing and beautiful book by Laura Pearson #iwantedyoutoknow. Huge thanks to @agorabooksldn and @laurapauthor for gifting me this copy to read. This book is published on October 3rd, make sure you buy it! 💕⠀

This book I raced through in 24 hours. Be prepared to have your heartbroken like you wouldn't believe and have the tissues at the ready, in large supply! ⠀

"Dear Edie, I wanted you to know so many things. I wanted to tell you them in person, as you grew. But it wasn’t to be."⠀

Meet Jess and Edie, Jess is a young single mother juggling parenthood and breast cancer. Jess makes it her mission to teach her daughter Edie all she knows, be it love, family and hope before it's too late.⠀

This is a very special book that really clawed at me, being a young mum myself this book really hit me hard. Fantasticly gripping and emotional. What a talent. ⠀

A book that will make you hold your loved ones that little bit tighter and cherish even the tougher of days. An absolute tear-jerker of a book. 💕⠀

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I don't think I have the right words to describe my feelings towards this book. I cried, I sobbed and I cried some more. I have no more tears left to cry.

This book is so completely heart-wrenching and emotional. It should be sold with a box of Kleenex.

I really felt for Jess through the entire book, she was such a strong character dealing with the blows life threw at her and whilst I would have become a complete wreck, she managed to remain composed and thoughtful to others. Jess felt real, springing from the page, a true friend who was suffering.

You can really feel the author's personal experience in the words, the thoughts, the expressions used. It was honest, it was raw, it was one of the most heart-breaking books I have read; an unapologetic look at what it is to say goodbye to your loved ones.

My only regret is that I do not have a physical copy of this book. I will get one as this book is sure to stay with me for a long time and I will be recommending it to everyone.

I thought I had read some emotional books in all my years of reading but this novel was truly something else.

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4.5 stars
Every now and then we need books like this to remind us that we are all breakable and at any point in our life something can change it forever.
This story is about a breast cancer mother writing to her unborn daughter and teaching her how to enjoy the life with love, heartbreak, friendship and happiness.
I cried at times as well as I was frustrated because the author has a way with her words to make it very real and pulls at your heart more than you want to give.
Love it.

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'I Wanted You To Know' is one of the most moving, emotional and incredible books I have ever read. It's about a young mother, Jess, who is diagnosed with breast cancer and she writes letters to her newborn daughter with everything she wants her to know, in case she herself isn't there to tell her.

I lost count of the amount of times that I cried... It was such a powerful and moving read. Friendships, romantic love and motherly love are beautifully and realistically painted out. It's not all fairy tale or doom and gloom but so very very real. I wanted to reach into the book and give the characters a massive hug. I felt like I knew them. Laura Pearson had cancer herself and she manages to draw on her own experiences without it feeling like a thinly veiled autobiography.

The style is simple just like the story is simple but a simple that is raw and heartfelt. I liked how the book switched between Jess' letters and an outside perspective. I thought for a bit that it could be stronger to have the perspectives of other characters too, but upon reflection I think that would have distracted from the main story and weakened the strength of the style.

'I Wanted You To Know' is one of those books that stays with you. Since finishing it, bits keep coming back to me and it's both a sad and happy read. I couldn't put it down.

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Jess McKinley is only twenty-one years old and has only been a mother for a handful of weeks. She expects to hear that the lump she found in her breast is nothing more than a clogged milk duct, assured it is nothing to worry about. Instead, the doctor announces that tests have revealed "evidence of breast cancer."

Jess is a single mother, living with her own single mother. Her father was never really part of her life, and her mother, Caroline, has always made her disdain for and disappointment in Jess's father clear. Jess's relationship with Jake, the father of little Edie, ended when she told him she was pregnant. They haven't communicated since then, and he is touring with his band, hoping to find success in the music industry. When Jess learns the news, she struggles with telling her mother and her best friend, Gemma. The two women comprise her support network, and without them, Jess would be facing an uncertain future completely on her own.

As the book opens, Jess is still learning how to be a mother to Edie, discovering that motherhood is "relentless, boring, and so tiring." And yet essential because, without her, Edie would not survive. In light of her diagnosis, she contemplates getting in touch with Jake, who has never met Edie. In fact, he doesn't know the baby's gender . . . or even if the child was born healthy. Caroline makes no secret of her disapproval.

Jess determines to write letters to Edie which she will leave with Gemma to deliver when Edie is old enough to read them. Pearson intersperses the letters with the third-person narrative through which she relates Jess's story. Each letter begins with "I wanted you to know . . ." and Jess relates the details about her relationship with Jake, her fear of leaving Edie and the reality that death itself is not what is most frightening, the fact that she is more than and not defined by cancer, and that being a mother is the most difficult thing Jess has ever done, but also the best. She shares her lack of self-confidence about mothering, and how to deal with cancer. And tells Edie, "I wanted you to know about love."

Pearson's story is heart-wrenching because of Jess's realistic, pragmatic approach to her circumstances. The depiction of the mother-daughter relationship between Caroline and Jess is particularly compelling. The two women share disappointments, anger, and a history of not communicating their true feelings effectively -- a pattern that no longer serves them. They rise to the challenge of working out their feelings while they still have time, but not without difficulty and new resentments. Each loves the other boundlessly which makes their journey easier and, at the same time, so complicated because their remaining time together is short. Jess, now a mother herself, finally understands what her mother meant all those times she told Jess that she would always be her baby. Thus, Jess works at being cognizant of and sensitive to Caroline's feelings, but must also articulate her own needs, as well as how she wants her daughter to be raised.

Equally engrossing is Jess's struggle to understand her own part in the failure of her relationship with Jake and forgive -- herself, Jake, and her mother. She realizes how much her mother's feelings about the own father projected and permeated her relationship with and expectations of Jake. And knows that she must deal with him on his own terms and learn to trust him for the sake of their daughter.

Jess's unconditional friendship with Gemma is at the very heart of the story. The two young women have known each other since they were young students in the same school, and experienced growing up together. Their shared memories of so many firsts and a future they always believed would be much lengthier bring strength to them both, as does Gemma's unwavering determination to stand by Jess and she that her wishes were fulfilled.

Pearson inspires readers to question their own mortality and the choices they would in a situation similar to Jess's. She relates that as she wrote the book, she didn't realize it would end up being a "love letter to friendship, to women, to life." But that's exactly what I wanted You to Know is. It is a story about empowerment and resolve under the worst imaginable circumstances. It is a testament to resilience and courage when there are very few choices left to be made. And a story about the beauty of surrendering and trusting those we love and who love us in return so that we can find peace and accept that which we cannot change. And so, as Pearson notes, it is both "a celebration and a tale of loss."

Pearson again demonstrates what a powerful, restrained writer she is, elevating her story into a believable, thought-provoking examination of a woman who maintains her dignity and truth in the face of unspeakable tragedy. Yet again, Pearson shows that she is capable of tackling the most difficult subjects with insight, credibility, and compassion.

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Thanks to Netgalley for an advanced copy!
This book was such a heartbreaking book it took me longer to read. The characters were powerful and real. This will be a book that will stay with me for a long time.

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Beautifully written heart wrenching a young mom with a baby is diagnosed with breast cancer,a young woman who will never see her daughter grow up.Grab your tissues set aside time and read this emotional loving story,#netgalley#agorabooks.

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This is a beautifully written, poignant love letter from a mother to her daughter, telling her all of the things she’ll never be able to say. Jess, a 21 year old mother of Edie, is diagnosed with breast cancer. She begins writing letters to her daughter, sharing how she met Jake, Edie’s father, how they broke up, advice about friendships, love, dealing with cancer, and her hopes for her daughter’s future. As her illness progresses and her prognosis changes from months to weeks, Jess struggles to write everything out for her daughter, to bring Jake back into their lives, to admit her love for him. Through it all, Jess is calm, collected, and accepting of her fate. Her only regret is missing her daughter’s life. Although her mother is reluctant to accept Jake into their lives, she accepts that Jess only wants the best for her daughter and wants her life full of love. The sadness and love the characters feel is evident throughout the book, but really hit home in Jess’s letters to her daughter. She pours herself into writing everything she can down. Their goodbye, Edie’s and Jess’s, is one of the most heartbreaking scenes I have ever read.

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Jess is freshly 21 and a new mother to Edie when she finds out that she has breast cancer. She is sent into a whirlwind of shock while figuring out how to deal with what has become her last few months on Earth. Knowing that she now has a time stamp on her life she realizes what she needs to do; tell Edie everything she needs to know. In the midst of tying up all loose ends that she can think of Jess begins writing letters to leave for her daughter to read after she is gone.

I was lucky enough to receive an advanced readers copy of this book through NetGalley. Since I don't read many fiction books especially ones about a topic as heavy as cancer this was a new experience for me. This book took me about 3 days to read because, although it is well written, the topic is so heavy that it takes a toll on the reader. You follow Jess through not only her diagnosis but also through all of her inner most, heartbreaking, thoughts and realizations. This is definitely a book that makes you think about the meaning of life and what you would do if you were in Jess' situation. It is a very eye-opening read that leaves you with a heavy heart even before you have reached the last page.

On GoodReads I rated this book a 3/5 because the ending, although realistic, leaves your mind wondering about what happens to the characters that are left behind. It is so easy to relate to Jess while reading her thoughts and feelings that you find yourself hoping that something happens and a happy ending is waiting. Cancer is something that most people have experienced whether it be from having it yourself or knowing someone who has had it which makes this book even more great. It gives you an insight on what goes on in the minds of the people who find out that they have cancer. It doesn't go into detail on the symptoms which was kind of a relief because the book is heartbreaking without needed the extra details. There were so many moments where I was reading and my eyes filled with tears but it wasn't until the last 10% of the book that they were falling freely and I couldn't prevent it from happening. I feel like this is a good book for people who are being introduced to cancer for the first time; for those who didn't have to deal with it until it effected them personally. It will give you a realistic idea of what those people and their families have to go through during their limited time left. If you're interested in learning more about that aspect of the disease then this book will do you good. But, be prepared to read with a heavy heart and a box of tissues close by.

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This has got to be one of the SADDEST books I’ve ever read. I think I’ve only cried reading 3 books and this one sure had me at the end! I knew what was coming but it still got to me anyway. How could it not?? Cancer just plain sucks - for EVERYONE involved. I’ve sadly lost a couple of friends and family members to cancer and it was one the worst things to go through. But I also have several friends who are cancer survivors!! Thank you NetGalley for granting my wish to get this book.

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First-time motherhood was supposed to be a wonderful experience for a woman. But for Jessica (Jess) McKinley, raising her newborn alone was only a fraction of her problem. Every day became a battle when her body turned against her. And she wanted her daughter to know her and impart lessons in life before it’s too late.

I love books that hurt and nothing hurt more than things that happened to people in real life. This book flayed my heart with its raw take on people who faced difficult situations and how it affected them and their loved ones.

The characters in this book showed tremendous strength amid adversity, but it also showed that it’s ok to be weak. I loved the thoughts and the actions Jess took in making sure her daughter has a good future.

I Wanted You To Know is a heartbreaking story of acceptance, forgiveness and making the most out of life. It would appeal to readers looking for realistic fiction with a difficult subject.

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This is my must read book of 2019 - the story is so emotional and beautifully written.

As a member of the Motherload Facebook page I was eager to read this book after reading other reviews of preview copies. The story is heart breaking in places but also funny too. Laura Pearson looks not just at how Jess copes with her diagnosis but how her family and friends cope too.

This is a must read book - we all have family and friends who have faced or are currently facing cancer . Please have a box (or two) of tissues handy when reading.

Thank you to NetGalley, Laura Pearson and Agora books for my digital review copy - this is my honest review

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