<b>3 out of 5 🌟 Craving for love</b>

Claire is a 17-year old teenager whose father died of cancer and whose mother has been depressed ever since. Her best friend got a boyfriend and consequently, they're spending less and less time together. Claire finds her escape from all these problems in music. She's a talented pianist and being the best piano player is her chance to get a scholarship. Claire's new piano teacher impress her in every possible way. He is an accomplished musician and teacher, and he is nice to her, which in these circumstances is enough for Clair to become fond of him.

My main issue with the 'Private Lessons' was that for at least 80% of the book I wasn't sure what the story is really about. It gave me the creepy 'Lolita' vibes and I wasn't really sure if the book wants to be a romance or a cautionary tale. Towards the ending, things got clear, and Claire's behavior started to make so much sense from the retrospective. She was not a troublesome teenager but the lonely child craving for some love and mistaking sex for real emotions.
The book also mentions the problem of racism and how the white Americans approach non-white people and what assumptions they have about Asians (Claire is also Filipino). Although, that topic was described only briefly and I wish it was explored more.

'Private Lessons' touches the issue of rape vs consent sex in relation to age and power. This is a powerful topic and it should've been better executed. I would rather know about the incident from the very beginning and learn all the circumstances and history behind it in retrospect. I feel I would've better understand Claire and all her choices, knowing about her longing for a real relationship from the very beginning.

Nevertheless, it was an eye-opening book and I was as shocked as the main character when I realized (in retrospect) that it was indeed rape and not just a bad sexual encounter.
The book encouraged me to have some in-depth conversations about that with my husband and made me think about my past experience with not-so-100%-consent encounters. And with that in mind, I'm sure that book can be highly triggering for a lot of people.

As for the author's style, the book is well written and I read it in just a few days. The storytelling was captivating and I'll be looking for the next books by Cynthia Salaysay.

<i>Thank you Netgalley and the publisher Candlewick Press for the ARC in exchange for an honest review. Opinions and feelings are my own.</i>

Rating: 3 stars

I enjoyed the musical aspect of the book. I felt like the book developed very slow. There were several situations I had somewhat of an issue to connect with. The main character is a musical prodigy struggling with her mental health among other things. She experiences racism and mental abuse at the hands of her teacher. I wasn't too fond of the student/teacher relationship, it was very uncomfortable to read. Maybe this type of topic just isn't for me. The inclusion of sexual situations between two people with a huge age gap was somewhat difficult to get thru, including the manipulative stances of the teacher. There are situations where it may cause triggers, which may be a bit uncomfortable to digest. Some topics included are depression, statutory rape, psychological abuse, and some misogyny. This book is not a fluffy story at all, it's very raw.. not that that is a bad thing. The main character is a girl that is trying to come out of her shell, very insecure, longing to be liked. She matures throughout the story through the experiences she lives. Although there weren't many happy moments the book wraps up nicely.

This is a stunning YA debut. It tackles some heavy topics whilst dazzling the reader with exquisite descriptions of music that are so on point, I could almost hear the piano playing as I was reading it.

Claire is a silently rebellious and sheltered 17-year-old with a real talent for playing the piano and dreams of getting into a prestigious school. To make her dreams come true, she needs to win piano scholarships. To win those, she needs to get better. She convinces a well known piano teacher, Paul, to take her on as one of his few pupils. Claire is desperate to gain Paul's approval and starts to lose herself in his world. She starts to ignore everything in her life, except for the piano and Paul.

Fair warning, this isn't a happy feel-good book. From the very start, Claire feels like someone who is ready to burst out of her cocoon and damn the consequences. When that energy clashes into Paul's nefarious behaviour, it can only ever end one way. Paul spends months grooming Claire, behaviour that isn't always easy to spot even without the haze of teenhood clouding your judgement. At the same time, Claire's world is opening up because of new friendships and a short-lived romance with another young musician.

On top of the sexual abuse, Claire also experiences anxiety and depression. She is still grieving her father who passed away a few years ago, and her relationship with her mother isn't good. Despite the odds against her, Claire manages to find a way to start healing herself. She serves as a positive message to other girls, telling them they are not alone and that better times are coming.

Claire is a seventeen-year-old Filipina pianist. Her father recently passed away and she is now finding her way in the world. She isn’t sure if she can get into any good colleges and is growing apart from her best friend. She auditions for Paul Avon, a well-known piano teacher. When he accepts her as a student, she becomes more dedicated to her practice and works hard for Paul’s approval.

I enjoyed this book a great deal more than the majority of YA books I’ve read this year. I feel like it has more depth and intrigue that many other YA books lack.

The plot was a bit slow and this was definitely more of a character study. However, I happen to like these types of books quite a bit so I didn’t find a problem with it. I found Claire to be a relatable character and a great protagonist. Though she definitely has her flaws, I feel she accurately portrays teenage angst.

I also really liked the writing. It was sophisticated and really pleasant and interesting to read. The descriptions of pianos and music were really beautiful and the way that discussions of racism and exoticism are woven into the story is really smart.

This book is marketed as a #MeToo story about sexual assault between Claire and her piano teacher. Some readers may be disappointed that this isn’t featured more prominently from the beginning. However, I don’t see this as a problem because this story is about so much more than Claire’s relationship with her piano teacher. It’s also about her complicated relationship with her mother, growing apart from an old friend, making new friends, and exploring her sexuality. I don’t think that the entire story has to be about Claire and Paul to make this any less valid or relevant as a #MeToo story. I do feel like things were resolved a bit cleanly and abruptly at the end, but I greatly admire Claire’s strength.

I am sorry that so many people did not enjoy this book. I am among the ones who did and I will be looking forward to reading Cynthia Salaysay’s future novels. I would highly recommend this to anyone who is interested in reading a more serious book about a girl finding her way.

Thank you to NetGalley and Candlewick Press for providing a digital copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

I had a very difficult time in terms of assigning this review a certain number of stars. Overall, I do not believe that I belong to the demographic that this book was crafted for. As a twenty-four-year-old married woman, there were several points where I just did not have time for the main character's sh*t. Additionally, I really hate books with characters who are mean to their mothers.

The beginning of the book deals with some important topics, such as growing up, losing your virginity, and how to move forward when the boy you like doesn't text you back. When Claire asks her mother for tampons instead of pads and contacts instead of glasses, I actually smiled. It also brings forth the idea that sex is not taboo and should be discussed more between teens and their parents.

That said, the book took a seriously weird turn. Claire begins to fantasize about her forty-year-old piano teacher. When she house sits for him, she wears his ex-girlfriend's lipstick and lays in his bed. Okay.....
When he returns and things get physical, she begins to think it might be wrong, but she's not totally sure. Yeah, Claire. It's gross.
I understood Claire's ultimate regret regarding the entire situation between her and Paul. What I didn't understand was the author trying to invoke feelings of sympathy for Claire in the reader. Absolutely not.

Re-reading its synopsis, this book was not anything like I expected. I contemplated just DNF'ing the whole thing all the way at 90%. It was just not good.

Many thanks to Candlewick Press and NetGalley for the ARC! This book was published on May 12 2020 and is now available for purchase.

Private Lessons is a coming-of-age story focused on Claire, a young pianist who begins taking lessons with a prestigious teacher to up her chances of getting into a good college. As her lessons begin to take over her life, an unhealthy relationship forms between her and her teacher, Paul. This is, of course, a difficult topic to take on, but Cynthia Salaysay handles it well. Claire and Paul’s relationship grows slowly, at first seeming innocuous but then becoming more sinister. It’s upsetting to watch, but it feels incredibly real. Due to this subject matter, this book won’t be for everyone. It does include depiction of sexual assault.

Rather than being plot-driven, this book centers on Claire’s emotional journey. There aren’t many major plot events and the pacing is fairly slow. I think this worked really well for the story, but some people may not like it. It takes quite a while for Claire and Paul’s relationship to even come to a head, and that’s the main focus of the summary. But Claire’s emotional state and the daily events of her life are an important part of what makes her vulnerable to Paul. She is dealing with the death of her father, a strained relationship with her father, friendship problems, boy problems, and issues related to race and class. The slow progression of all of these is important for her coming-of-age arc.

I found Claire to be a great character. She feels very much like a real teenager. She’s insecure and often unlikable. She’s a jerk sometimes, especially to her mother. But I completely understood where she was coming from because I’ve been there. Again, some people may not like this and think she’s grating, but I love finding teen characters who feel like actual teenagers.

This book also has some great representation because Claire is Filipino-American. This is a culture that I don’t think I’ve ever read about, so I found it very interesting. Claire’s mother is an immigrant from the Philippines, as are many of the women we see at her prayer group. The book gives a great glimpse into both Filipino and immigrant culture and the struggles they encounter. We see them mixing English and Tagalog. We hear about Claire’s elementary school teacher telling her parents not to teach her Tagalog because it will confuse her. We see Claire encounter racism several times. I’m also pretty sure Salaysay is Filipino-American, so this is an own voices book.

Overall this is an incredibly real and relevant coming-of-age story for our current world, and it’s definitely worth checking out!

It's the story of Claire, a Filipino-American teenager, who was groomed by her Piano teacher. It has the vibes of My Dark Vanessa and I had loved that book so I obviously took this up. But damn Claire is a difficult character all the way through. The story is painful but it portrays insecurities, emotional turmoils really well. Claire jumps from one emotion to another and that is dizzying to watch and very disturbing. The teacher is a straight out predator, no doubt in that. All in all it was a disturbing but good read. If you have any such experience then this book might be a trigger for you. I liked it but I thought the narration was quite slow in beginning.

his story is about Claire and her struggles with losing a parent, her relationship with her very traditional Filipino mother, and about a new piano teacher in this complex student/teacher relationship. A great debut novel by Cynthia Salaysay and I enjoyed reading this book. Congratulations to a fellow nurse!

This book is definitely different from others. It definitely wasn't exactly my cup of tea.
I kind of like the concept but I'm definitely going to need to gouge my eyes out. I was so confused. A bunch of things just happened out of nowhere.
I didn't like it because there were so many things wrong with this whole teacher-student thing we got going on. There was that interesting scene where Claire was getting high.

I recieved an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

I found this novel well-written, thought-provoking, and relatable with regards to the coming of age aspect. I empathized with Claire's self-consciousness about the ways she is different and her low self-esteem. Reading this while trying to learn piano myself enriched the experience--Salaysay's descriptions of the music are as sharp as a chef's blade. Yet there was something that held me back from fully connecting with the novel as a whole (I connected with Claire just fine). I looked at the reviews to try and figure out what it was I couldn't quite name and found myself disagreeing with most of them claiming Claire is a horrible or unlikable MC and that the antagonist is some sort of mastermind. I felt like he was wrong, of course, but it did not come off calculated. But these are the questions a novel on this subject should have us asking, therefore it achieves part of its purpose. The other part being whether it entertains the reader, which it did, so I gave it 4 stars.

I really enjoyed this book. The use of music was great and the story was heartbreaking but hopeful all at the same time. Would recommend

Private Lessons by Cynthia Salaysay was an impactful read that follows the spirit of the #MeToo movement. Salaysay’s protagonist, Claire Alalay’s life is a symphony to the modern generation with the intermezzos and crescendos of life. The observations from #PrivateLesson reflect the sign of the times and the arising situations that teenagers face in the modern era. Works of this nature are integral for young adults to read and apply their own individual perspectives.

What I Loved:
I really appreciate the author tackling such a tough subject matter. I am sure it is hard to write about the topics surrounding this story, but I feel it is also important for work like this to be available to people, especially a younger audience.

How I Felt:
This story was an emotional read. Written by debut author Cynthia Salaysay, it is touted as a #metoo story and it is, but it takes a while to get there. The book was slow to start and really draws out the manipulation by Paul, the music teacher. The author did a good job of showing how cunning Paul is as he passes small compliments to Claire in a very calculated manner.

The relationship between Paul and Claire begins as a student-teacher relationship for the piano. Paul slowly takes control of Claire in a predatory manner, ultimately driving her to a sexual relationship with him. I did feel that this was a bit graphic for a YA novel and mostly unnecessary to tell the story properly. When Claire finally breaks away from Paul and begins her journey of healing, I really felt like the story finally found its footing. It was the part I enjoyed most about the book.

The characters were not as strong as I would have liked. I felt that Claire was missing characteristics that would have helped her to connect to the reader. I think that in a story with this much importance in the subject matter, having readers connect with the main character is paramount. Without it, the takeaways and learnings become a bit muddled.

Claire’s relationship with her mother is extremely difficult to read about. I know that she is dealing with the loss of her father, but her actions make her extremely hard to like, resulting in another reason I struggled to connect with her.

Overall, this was a book that I struggled through in the beginning. I did not enjoy the main character, Claire, which made it difficult to read. Additionally, the story is slow to start and focuses less on the #metoo idea than I would have liked. It does have a good message and it’s a difficult subject to tackle, so I appreciate the author’s work in that regard.

Content Warnings:
Inappropriate student-teacher relationship, rape, somewhat graphic sexual encounters for a YA book.

To Read or Not To Read:
I would recommend Private Lessons for readers that enjoy an emotional story that covers tough topics in a real-feel setting.

I was provided an advanced reader's copy of this book for free. I am leaving my review voluntarily.

My full review of this book will post to my blog on 5/26/20.

Thank you to Candlewick Press via netgalley for sending me a copy of Private Lessons by Cynthia Salabysay. Available on May 12 2020
All opinions are my own.

Private lessons 3.5⭐️
I think part my enjoyment came from being a music lover. I play 4 instruments and having our main character trying to perfect her skills with a master of paino was intriguing.
Clarie is a musical prodigy that cant live up to her teacher and maestros expectations. She starts doing nothing but playing but still he isnt impressed. Shes good. Shes great.
In her time with him she learns how to love herself, take time so slow down and greive her fathers death.
We get to see the cultural difference and how he was raised and raised with music vs his expectations of her.
Fyi: This is a character driven story. The plot is slow but the characters and story are bold. I really enjoyed the ending when we are dealing with the final recital.

This book wasn't what I thought it was going to be. I thought this was going to be an empowering #OwnVoices story set within the #MeToo movement, but in the end I only felt underwhelmed, disappointed, and relieved I could finally stop reading it. I knew what type of story it was trying to tell, but it was not executed well at all.

I wanted to like Claire; I wanted to be cheering for her the whole way through because I could relate to her in so many ways. But halfway through the book I was already fed up with her, and once I dislike the main character it's difficult for me to like the rest of the story since it's told from her point of view. I nearly DNF'd this just because of how annoying, unlikable, and boring Claire is. She and her character arc felt very underdeveloped and flat. Combined with the weird pacing of the novel overall, it felt as if her character remained stagnant throughout 95% of the story and it wasn't until the last couple chapters is when she finally makes progress.

Something I really enjoyed seeing was all the Filipino representation with Claire's mom's mannerisms that I found so familiar, her Titas, taking your shoes off when entering the house, etc. That was one of two things that prevented me from rating this a one-star. The other was the lovely and poetic descriptions of the music. I'd never read music, especially classical music being described the way Cynthia does in this novel. Overall, her writing was great - fairly easy to follow, poetic, and engaging - but I did feel that the pacing was off and, for a young adult contemporary novel, read incredibly slow. (Another reason why I was tempted to DNF it.)

Although I sort of knew what I was getting into after reading the synopsis, I was not prepared to read a clear description of a rape scene. To say I was disgusted and more than a little disturbed is an understatement. There should be trigger warnings included in the beginning of the book, even if the content is hinted at in the synopsis. So, be warned that there is a detailed rape scene described in this book.

Overall, it was a valiant attempt at tackling such a heavy topic for a young adult novel, but was poorly executed, resulting in a lackluster story that does not do the #MeToo movement justice. I cannot and do not recommend this book, but I enjoyed Cynthia's writing style and wouldn't mind checking out her next book in the future.

Sadly, this was not one for me. From the description and a few titbits I’d heard about this book, I was looking forward to going into it. These are tough themes that need to be talked about and I commend authors who are taking bold steps to put issues like this further into the public radar. Unfortunately, given my expectations, it felt as though the book wasn’t sure what it wanted to be until we were well into the second half. The plot was very meandering and repetitive with not much development.

Thank you to Candlewick Press and NetGalley for giving me this copy in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you to netgalley for giving me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own, and please remember my review is not in any way a personal attack against the author. I review the book, not the author.

Wow... just wow. I never ever give one star to books. It's happened so rarely I'm honestly shocked, I so did not expect this. I will try to make my review short otherwise this will turn into a rant. But please beware that this book contains rape and quite graphic sex scenes, underage sex and a big (big) age gap , but also TW for death of a parent, smoking, drinking, and cancer.

I could talk about this book forever but I'm going to put it as bullet points so that it doesn't get too long:
- nothing happens in this book. the entire 320 pages of this – no spoilers – have a whole 3 or 4 main events that basically have no impact over anyone whatsoever and that the reader doesn't care about either.
- the writing is mediocre
- the main character is very annoying: a terrible daughter and a terrible friend. She also makes terrible choices.
- the other characters are flat and inconsequential, except Paul who I liked at first but then... not, it just got weird (obviously)
- the first half of this book was bad, but the second half? I quite frankly wish I would forget it
- ew. just. teacher-student, 17-50ish year olds sexual bits, no thank you
- even the same age sexual bits weren't nice. at. all
- I didn't understand at all the point of making the main character "not care about piano" and making her "just do it for college applications" if that part is (1) not mentioned in the rest of the book (2) has nothing to do with anything that happens in the rest of the book and (3) make her care a lot about her piano classes and competitions
- I was uncomfortable the whole entire time reading this. I have read a whole book after and I'm still not over it
- I could talk more about the whole underage sex/rape thing but I (1) don't want to relive it because I quite frankly just want to forget it, (2) I don't want to give away any spoilers and most importantly (3) I would end up screaming in disgusted frustration forever.

Title: Private Lessons
Author: Cynthia Salaysay
Genre: YA
Rating: 3 out of 5

After seventeen-year-old Claire Alalay’s father's death, only music has helped her channel her grief. Claire likes herself best when she plays his old piano, a welcome escape from the sadness — and her traditional Filipino mother’s prayer groups. In the hopes of earning a college scholarship, Claire auditions for Paul Avon, a prominent piano teacher, who agrees to take Claire as a pupil. Soon Claire loses herself in Paul’s world and his way of digging into a composition’s emotional core. She practices constantly, foregoing a social life, but no matter how hard she works or how well she plays, it seems impossible to gain Paul’s approval, let alone his affection.

I really loved the premise of this novel. But Claire was a really unlikable character for me. I thought her struggles with her Filipino heritage (and people’s reactions to her appearance) were well-done and vivid, but for the most part, Claire was a selfish, unpleasant person who let life happen to her.

The assault was beyond her control, but in every other part of her life, she just goes along, emotionally distant, without taking ownership of her life and actions. She’s horrible to her best friend. She’s selfish and greedy with her mother—and outright rude and hurtful. She’s oblivious of what everyone else around her wants, focusing instead on her own wants. She lackadaisical towards her music, so it made that—the vast majority of the book—not believable to me.

Claire just made this book not a good fit for me.

Cynthia Salaysay is a registered nurse. Private Lessons is her debut novel.

(Galley courtesy of Candlewick Press in exchange for an honest review.)

This was a DNF for me.

While I was initially intrigued by the plot and the background of the main character, I ended up getting about 20% of the way through before deciding to put this one down.

I felt the book itself was too bland. It's definitely a character-driven story that focuses on culture, mental health, and futures, but the writing didn't extend out to me to grab onto. I usually love reading YA breakout stories that have a powerful message, but I just didn't find it in this one.

DNF at 55% it made me feel so emotional in the worse way. Trigger warnings for rape, death of a parent, Catholicism disdain, cancer, depression, anxiety, girl hate and the whole shebang. I won't recommend this book to a student under 18.