The more time I've had to sit and think about this book, the more I realize that this one really just wasn't for me. It has to do more with the writing rather than the specific content.

Claire is a first generation American with Filipino immigrants as parents. With that comes the pressure to be perfect: 4.0 GPA, excelling in piano, and gunning for scholarships to the best universities.

Claire decides to hire an exclusive piano tutor to sharpen her skills in order to be more competitive. However, the line between student and teacher is blurred, and Claire finds herself in the hands of a master manipulator.

I think that this book is incredibly timely with the MeToo movement and addresses pertinent societal issues. However, I don't think this book does a great job of telling the actual story. This plot of this book is too slow for YA in my opinion. While I do think it is important for teens to have books that feature heavier content, a warning about the on-page rape needs to be included.

The protagonist herself is just not a great character. Overall, she is uninteresting and unlikable. It seems like much thought didn't go into her development.

While I commend the author for tackling tough themes, I just don't think the overall objective was met with this one.

Thank you to Candlewick Press for providing a review copy through NetGalley. This did not influence my review. All opinions are my own.

Claire is a struggling ethnic American (parents are from the Philippines) trying to come to terms with her own identity. She tries to be a model daughter maintaining a 4.0 with extracurricular activities so she can be the ideal college candidate but still feels a gaping hole inside her. There was a LOT happening in this book and while this usually excites me I felt there was a lack of cohesion. The story felt quite disjointed to me and integral moments that were meant to be learning lessons and beacons of hope for young girls in the #metoo movement were not given justice. While this book deals with very pertinent and relevant issues the main plotline needed to be accelerated much earlier on in the book and the interactions between the characters needed to be tighter and more impactful.

Thank you to Candlewick Press and NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read this arc.

Claire is a young pianist who wants to use the services of a new teacher. But she's the one who ends up being used.

I'm not sure this book knew what it wanted to be. It was too graphic and slow for a YA novel, but too superficial for literary fiction - and the protagonist had no agency whatsoever. I understand that Claire was a victim of grooming, but a protagonist who moves from scene to scene instead of pushing things forward is not a riveting character to read about.

I always like to finish what I start so I did make it to the ending, which was were the book showed signs of life for the first time. I really wish the rest of the book had been like the final 20%.

Thank you to Candlewick Press for the review copy of this book. All opinions below are my own.

This #ownvoices author brings a unique spin to a tale of teacher-student sexual assault that manages to hit all the right points without making an impact. On the positive side, the way the author handles racial discrimination head-on is really a gut punch to see how even members of a so-called "model minority" face stereotyping, race and colorism, and race-based expectations. This book does a good job of depicting the emotional labor cost of dealing with the race-based slights of well-meaning and oblivious white folks in a way I believe people of color will identify with and even clueless white folks can learn from.

On the other hand, this book really struggles with character development in a way that makes it feel clumsy. The only two standout characters are Claire, a sort of inspiring pianist whose real goal is just to get the hell out of dodge, and her emotionally manipulative famous piano teacher, Paul. All of the other characters feel rather like cardboard cutouts who are given an inch of personality/back story/character evolution in a way that makes them feel rather prescriptive than real. This is especially difficult because Claire is so very unlikeable.

Most of the time we're in Claire's head, she's miserable about being pestered by her mom (that's pretty normal), desperately lonely at school (even though she spends nearly 6 months rejecting overtures from ostensibly her only friend), and alternately elated or depressed about her piano playing (which she practices for six hours a day). Throughout the book, the language feels pretty unrealistic of teen speak, and Claire's lack of agency really alienates the reader. Claire is convinced she's quite ugly, and sort of longs for street harassment for validation. The men and boys she finds attractive are stumbling over themselves to tell her how gorgeous she is in a way that feels pretty off-putting. She's so docile, I don't see teens wanting to identify with her, which is a shame because the nuanced way her piano teacher breaks her down is done so very well.
Overall, I think teens will leave this book feeling pretty irritated with Claire, and I think other books like Barry Lyga's Boy Toy handle teacher sexual assault/rape in a more nuanced way.

I thought I would really enjoy this book as someone who loves books about music and the artist's life that surrounds their instrument and the world around music. I felt like this book moved far too slowly and the entire book felt completely out of the blue and felt like we got very little context.

Private Lessons is an incredibly important story to tell and read especially as predators are being exposed and held accountable in the MeToo era. It's not for the faint-hearted as it addresses sexual assault/abuse, rape and inappropriate teacher/student relationship with a minor, as well as grief over a deceased parent. This book does need a trigger warning in the beginning or somewhere in the summary. What I liked most is the passion for music, the growth, healing and taking your power back by standing up to abusers and racists. The quiet strength in Claire that she finally harnesses was what made this book.

I related to Private Lessons in a way that like the protagonist Claire, I too am a Filipino American who was born and raised in the Bay Area and used to take piano lessons as a kid. It never stuck to me like it did for Claire, and it shows in that through all she went through, she still worked hard for a scholarship to her dream school.

(I won an eARC through Yallwest. Thanks, NetGalley & Candlewick.)

I enjoyed this deep dive into the life of quietly rebellious, talented Claire who battles unconscious bias and racism while pursuing her art in the world of piano competitions. Glad to see a Filipino American protagonist! Finally. Fascinating inner life.

Not every young adult reader will enjoy serious, classical-music loving Claire in this “slow build” novel (translation: quiet opening chapters) but I implore readers to stick with it.

The novel rewards readers with authentic portrayals of grief, Filipino culture, demands of music, lessons in finding your voice, and the importance of paying attention to red flags in any type of relationship, from friendships, to mentor-ships, to romantic relationships. I loved the unique descriptions and vivid, musical prose.

I also enjoyed looking up all the classical music compositions Claire listens to so I could experience them myself while reading Salaysay's fresh, creative descriptions of the music through Claire's lens. This took the experience of reading the novel to another level.

I could identify with many of Claire’s experiences, due to being born and raised in California and being Filipina-Mexican American myself.

Brava, Cynthia Salaysay!

How I wish I had a playlist to serve as a soundtrack to reading this book! Claire may not be the most likeable character or a character the reader wishes they could be, but she felt very real. She's a teenage girl that just wants to live her life, maintain relationships, and pursue a future in music, given the circumstances she's in. Those circumstances get very complicated and the book depicts how even the brightest, goal-driven people can experience unfortunate situations that affect but ultimately not define them. The drudgery and obsession with perfection during the course of piano practice and depictions of micro-aggressions that Philippine-Americans experience sprinkled throughout the book added to the realism of Salaysay's writing. (I received an ARC from the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for my honest opinion.)

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*Thank you Netgalley and the Publisher for providing me with an early copy of this book, all opinions are my own*

I started liking this book.
He has no plot, basically, we live the life of the main character with her day after day, until then no problem, but having a book just focused on the main character when she is completely irritating, rude, disrespectful, and boring make the reading experience less enjoyable.
But the main character is not even the main reason why I hated this book, the big “boom” is the reason, this “boom” is something totally unnecessary, which makes the book impossible to read and leaves our character main even more unbearable, I found this “boom” very poorly done and used only as a shock factor.
I read the last 100 pages of that book on the basis of hate and I can say firmly that it is not a book I recommend!!!

I received an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
2.5 stars
Private Lessons intrigued me, in its discussion both of #MeToo and growing up Filipino. However, while there are some objective good points, for the most part, I found it boring and unengaging.

While it is slow in starting, I did enjoy the development of Claire’s “relationship” with her teacher, and how it develops in a way that we can both understand how she gets swept up by him, while also feeling the wrongness in the way he manipulates her.

However, otherwise, I did not particularly like Claire, as she was pretty unlikable and boring. I think younger readers might have more patience with her self-centeredness, and the coming-of-age element when she breaks free is pretty decently done.

I think this is a book that will resonate with a teen audience more, although with the caveat that it does have some heavy content (including on-page rape), so they should be made aware of that beforehand. For adult readers, I don’t know if they’ll get as much out of it, although I would recommend picking it up and giving it a try if they are interested, due to the important topics it covers.

This is a moving, engaging, realistic story about a girl finding her place. If this is something you feel comfortable and interested in reading, it handles the material with nuance, grace and awareness. However, it is also quite confronting so I would be careful when reading this, and with who you give it to. That said, Salaysay does an amazing job, with gorgeous prose and complex characters.

Private Lessons by Cynthia Salaysay is not a feel great sunshiny book. I don’t think the author intended it to be so. It’s a story about Claire, a piano protégé’ who falls prey to her instructor, Paul’s, machinations and for lack of a better word, is groomed to be taken advantage of. This is a painful story of a girl with deep insecurities whose emotions often run the gamut from sad and lonely, to jealous and harmful, both to herself and others. Claire isn’t always the most likeable of characters but the important message, especially in this month of mental health awareness is that she experiences depression and anxiety and yet, finds a way to heal herself despite the odds.

While it’s a disturbing look at a predator who takes enormous pleasure in singling out young women, manipulating and abusing them, I think it also sends a positive message to women who’ve been victims of abuse. You are not alone and there is healing. Seeing Claire’s emotional wreckage all the way through to the end emphasizes just how important this message is.

Thank you to Candlewick Press, Cynthia Salaysay, and MMB Tours for providing me with a DRC of Private Lessons in exchange for my honest review.

Thank you to Candlewick Press for an advance copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.

Private Lessons is the debut YA Contemporary novel by Cynthia Salaysay. Claire Alalay is a teen living with the grief of losing her father who shared her love for music. She deals with this through playing her piano and immersing herself with her musicality. She is determined to get good grades and enter a good university, and she knows she must do something significant to get her there. Claire insists upon her mother to take lessons from one of the best and well-known teachers, Paul Avon.

As Filipina who lived and grew up in the Philippines, we have always been close to family, and I understand that Claire was dealing with the loss of her father, but I particularly did not enjoy how she was with her mother throughout the book. I found, most of the time, that I was particularly annoyed with how she was being so difficult and selfish. I had such a difficult time connecting with the book, simply because I hated being in Claire's head.

And although, she was so fierce about her love for music, it felt as if Claire was doing it just to get attention from the teacher, and not anything else. I didn't really feel her love for it, she was very lackluster and it felt like she wasn't really passionate about music.

The blurb of Private Lessons did mention about the #MeToo movement, and I think this is really want propelled me to read on with this book. Paul Avon was very calculating and manipulative, he was very careful and cautioned with regards to giving compliments to Claire, which she craved all the more. You can clearly see the manipulation and how he was tolerant to Claire's misdemeanors. Paul clearly takes pleasure from her innocence and even convinces Claire to drink alcohol, to having underage sex. Some of them really made me uncomfortable, coming from a YA perspective but I guess it is also a different time now where teens are hypersexualized because of social media.

I really started enjoying Private Lessons once Claire was healing and had her moment of realization. Albeit, in real life this might not be as easy to do, Claire's actions of cutting Paul out of her life was really the start of her character arc and redemption. Overall, Private Lessons was a good debut novel that is clearly very relevant in today's society.

Content Warnings: sexual assault, death of a parent, cancer, depression, abuse

THOUGHTS
I was a bit worried actually (or maybe cautious is a better word). I wasn’t entirely sure how this book would take on sex and sexual assault. Overall, I appreciate this book. Once I got further into the story, I kept wanting to read more. I loved the musical aspect. The descriptions were gorgeous. This novel also takes on cultural differences (Claire is Filipino-American), race, and the feeling of living in the middle—you don’t feel any different from those around you, but those around you always point out how you are different.

The power dynamic between Claire and her piano teacher was one where you knew he was more at fault than he ever admitted but you also kept hesitating because of Claire’s view of him/her obsession with him and what he thought of her. I felt her internal struggle. She came out of this book much stronger than I had anticipated.

I think something that helped ease my worries to actually start reading Private Lessons was the author’s note, which I am not sure will be included in the final copy. I was hesitant to read Claire’s story, but Salaysay completely convinced me. Private Lessons is a book of discovery (of your body, of the people around you), struggling with an obsession to please, a love letter to music, and a story of quiet strength and healing.

dnf at 50%

I think this book is a classic case of it's not you, it's me.
I went into this book with certain expectations in mind, and when they weren't realised I was disappointed.

For some context, I have recently heard nothing but amazing things about the book 'My Dark Vanessa', which similarly tackles issues of a manipulative student-teacher relationship. However, because my library is shut, I was left with a yearning for a story I could not access. So when I stumbled upon this book on Netgalley, I thought it could suffice as a YA equivalent.

Private Lessons was marketed as a #MeToo book, featuring a young girl stuck in a manipulative relationship with her piano teacher. But I made it to 50% through the book with none of that occurring. I'm sure that premise still comes into play later, but I expected it to be a much larger aspect of the story than it was.

I can only speak for the first half of the novel, but from what I read it felt more like a coming of age, self discovery teen type of deal. Of course there's nothing wrong with that- but again- wrong expectations from me. I found the beginning so slow. Nothing happened.

I don't want to be overly critical of this book because it is a debut, and I didn't finish it. Similarly, I won't rate this book. The writing was well done, and had some nice prose at times particularly to do with music. I really appreciated the filipino rep too (ownvoices!), which came as a welcome surprise. I am sure many will enjoy this book, but unfortunately I wasn't one of them.

"You can't expect love. It's elusive. I bet half the time, when people show you love, you barely even know it. And when you show love, they don't either. It's always masked. People aren't ready for it"

Thank you to Candlewick Press for this ARC

Release Date: 12 May 2020

Disclaimer: I received this e-arc from the publisher and netgalley. Thanks! All opinions are my own.




Book: Private Lessons




Author: Cynthia Salaysay




Book Series: Standalone




Rating: 5/5




Diversity: Filipino American main character!




Publication Date: May 12, 2020




Genre: YA Contemporary




Recommended Age: 18+ (sex and sexual content, statutory rape TW, underage drinking, death, child grooming, drug use, abuse: emotional mental verbal and psychological, racism, language, self-harm TW, depression, gaslighting, wanting to kill a character more than Umbridge)




Publisher: Candlewick Press




Pages: 320




Amazon Link




Synopsis: After seventeen-year-old Claire Alalay’s father's death, only music has helped her channel her grief. Claire likes herself best when she plays his old piano, a welcome escape from the sadness — and her traditional Filipino mother’s prayer groups. In the hopes of earning a college scholarship, Claire auditions for Paul Avon, a prominent piano teacher, who agrees to take Claire as a pupil. Soon Claire loses herself in Paul’s world and his way of digging into a composition’s emotional core. She practices constantly, foregoing a social life, but no matter how hard she works or how well she plays, it seems impossible to gain Paul’s approval, let alone his affection.

Author Cynthia Salaysay composes a moving, beautifully written portrait of rigorous perfectionism, sexual awakening, and the challenges of self-acceptance. Timely and vital, Private Lessons delves into a complicated student/teacher relationship, as well as class and cultural differences, with honesty and grace. 




Review: This was a gorgeous book! The book does not shy from the tough points, where it shows our main character who is in love with this (for a lack of a better word) pedo who is abusing his authority to have sex with her (a minor, EW!). The book is expertly written, amazingly well detailed for world building, and the characters are engaging (and disgusting in Paul’s case). Sometimes when books say they are wrote for a certain thing (like feminism or otherwise) I find the book isn’t really embodying that movement. However, I feel like this book is a champion for the #metoo movement.




However, I felt like the book was a bit slower paced than what I usually preferred, but I think it’s intention. It makes you pause and forces you to hear Claire’s story, through the good, the bad, and the ugly.




Verdict: I recommend this as essential reading. It’s hard to read sometimes, but it’s essential to do so.

Thanks to Candlewick Press and NetGalley for the free e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Private Lessons by Cynthia Salaysay follows Claire, a Filipino-American teen who plays piano. Her father, who influenced her love of music, has passed away, and Claire is trying to get into a good college by winning piano competitions. She decides to find a better piano tutor in order to succeed in those competitions, which leads her to Paul. Along the way, she meets Julia, a new friend, and has a brief relationship with Lee, who mistreats her. Paul takes advantage of Claire and she must find her self-worth and determination to suceed.

On paper, I think this book had a very good plot and themes. However, it felt like the build-up took too long and the resolution came too easy. In a handful of conversations, all of Claire's problems were handled and over with.

I will say that I've seen a lot of people dislike Claire, but I disagree. I found her a relatable, if somewhat moody, seventeen-year-old girl. I liked her character growth through the novel and like her voice.

My main issue with this book was the pacing. By being so slow to start and so quick to resolve the problems, the messages get kind of lost.

A difficult and true book that de-romanticizes the abuse so many students suffer at the hands of their teachers and mentors. The musical descriptions are often lush and make for perfect breaths of fresh air in a book full of heavy thoughts and topics.

So haunting, impactful, and real. I would recommend this to any older teen with an interest in music, own voices, and political movements. I loved the people in Claire's life- no matter how short of length of time they are present in her life, they are important and that importance is clear. Claire is learning about her sexuality and her identity at a pivotal time in any teen's life. She wants nothing more than to be loved and appreciated, but struggles. This is a perfect Me Too era story, realistically depicted, where the monster is not necessarily someone you would immediately peg as a monster. The relationship between Claire and her mother, especially as it improves, is beautiful. Also love the commentary on being an Asian-American- but wish it was more fleshed out instead of just touched upon at a few points.

I won this book in a giveaway by Candlewick Press—thank you for the ARC! I’m giving a short review, just a small collection of the thoughts I had while reading.

This is one of those reads that I struggled with a lot. On one hand, it was full of promise, and on the other, it made me so uncomfortable. Sexual exploitation is definitely a darker topic to explore, and Salaysay handled it with grace. That being said, I didn’t love how graphic some of the scenes were, and I didn’t love the narration.

Even though I felt sympathy for Claire, I didn’t like her at all. She was distinctly unkind to her best friend and her mom, and seemed to think that lacking a sense of who she was granted her the opportunity to lash out at them. We in YA talk a lot about unlikeable female characters, but this goes beyond that, into unsympathetic.

What I did like: Private Lessons did a great job of discussing socioeconomic disparities and ethnic identity. Claire’s family is Filipino, and multiple times through the novel she encounters microaggressions and judgment that resonated with me. I liked this secondary plot line that Salaysay included.

All in all: Give Private Lessons a chance, but definitely know what you’re getting into.