The Princess Beard

Pub Date:   |   Archive Date: 16 Dec 2019

Member Reviews

I know this is part of a series of books taking place in the same fantasy land, but this was the first one I've had a chance to read. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and will be recommending it to people who enjoy funny adventures and quirky characters.
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This entire series is very akin to falling down a flight of the most delightful stairs you've ever been down, and book 3 is no exception. New wacky characters, crazy new scenarios, same wonderful puns and writing and hidden gems you couldn't get anywhere else.
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This book was such fun!  It took me a little bit to get into it (or maybe I just had to be in the right mood for it), but once I did, it was fantastic.  I have not yet read the previous two books set in Pell, but I found I didn't really need to to enjoy this.  I never felt lost, and I found that the world was well developed even without having previous exposure to it.  The characters were fabulous!  They were all so different, but wonderful.  Even the characters that I initially thought might be too much for me, I loved by the end.  The authors did a fantastic job of making each character grow in a way that was both ridiculous and realistic at the same time.  They kept the puns coming and the laughter increasing.  I am definitely looking forward to going back and reading the first two books now!
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THE PRINCESS BEARD is an amazing conclusion to a fantastically hilarious trilogy.  I laughed, I cried, I choked over some Harry Potter references (because trust me, as much as a phenomenon as it was, I'm kind of good now).  The characters are fleshed out and believable, and the jokes are as lively - if not more - as the cast.

Check out the podcast review OH PELL YEAH, out now on your favorite podcatcher.
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This is the third “Tale of Pell” I’ve read, and by far the most entertaining. It is, of course, a pirate story, complete with a beard-sporting princess, a dryad in the process of transforming into a carnivorous tree, a pudgy elf, and a centaur whose secret magical weapon involves pelting his enemies with hot tea and sugary pastries. Oh, and the captain – Filthy Lucre – is a parrot in search of the ideal shoulder perch. 
For me this novel had more structure and cohesiveness than the earlier two, which often devolved into excuses for puns that had only approximate relationship to the central plot. I found these characters much more sympathetic, I loved how each grew and matured during their adventures, so the entire effect was of greater emotional immediacy and warmth, but no less exciting action. And bad puns. Highly entertaining, and with great heart.
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crappymags 3 word review: Punny as hell. 

All my reviews available at

Genre: Fantasy/magical/humor

A short summary: This is a crazy summary but here goes: there’s a princess who wakes with a beard (and some really long nails!) but instead of waiting for a prince, she escapes and runs away, becoming a pirate under the captainship of a one-eyed pirate. Oh, and the pirate? Is a parrot. Mix in a myriad of other characters - a misogynistic centaur who is also a magical tea and cake maker, a dryad who wants to study law, an elf who just isn’t “elf” enough... It’s one heck of a story. 

My thoughts: I’m not sure what I expected but I received a book that was so much more - Not a retelling of The Princess Bride (but plenty of inside jokes that nod toward it). Rapt from the get go, I dove into this book and savored it. There are many puns and double entendres that kept me laughing throughout. What was exceptional was the character development - I felt that needed connection and the book delivered. It’s kinda fairy tale and kinda adventure with pop references built in and nothing routine or stale. I laughed out loud several times and loved the pop culture references (as well as a few bawdy ones). Fresh, fun, an enchanting romp.

Recommend to readers who like: Fantasy/humor but something different. Def. a Gen X pick!

Not recommended to: I’m Gen X and wonder if much of the allusion would be missed by younger folk. 

Thanks to NetGalley and Random House Ballantine and the authors for an advanced copy (and for making me laugh so hard people side-eyed me heavily in public.)
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The Princess Beard is the third book in the Tells of Pell series by Delilah S Dawson and Kevin Hearne. I listened to this book on Audible as I have listened to the first two books and Luke Daniels is an amazing narrator. This was another epic adventure in the land of Pell.
I did enjoy this book.  Each of the characters has a great journey of enlightenment that they are on. 
At times the puns were a little too much. Over all this was another good addition to the Tells of Pell trilogy. Will we see these cast of characters again in the future? Only time will tell if we will be able to visit Pell yet again.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Netgalley, Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine & in exchange for an honest review. This review is my own opinion and not a paid review.
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I received this book in exchange for an honest review, which has not altered my opinion of this book.

Whenever I read a book in this series, I find it so difficult to describe it simply because they are so hilarious and so random. This book is a high fantasy with dryads, elves, sleeping princesses under spells, pirates, and centaurs but it is completely ridiculous. When I say that, I mean it in the best way possible. Each of the books in the Tales of Pell series follows different characters, though they will interact with others in the other books, and this one is probably one of my favorites because: Pirates! This book follows a very random group of characters who are part of a pirate crew who want to save the otters.

This story was very interesting and really intriguing. I enjoy the fact that this series takes place in the same world and brings in characters from all books, but still focuses on an entirely new cast of characters. Each character is unique and hilarious in their own special way. I highly recommend this book for anyone who enjoys fantasy and the irony of it all. Four out of five from me.
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First of all, THANK you to NetGalley for leading me to this series! Although I was given an e-arc, all opinions are my own.

In this third book of "The Tales of Pell", authors Delilah Dawson and Kevin Hearne have again written so creatively and well that you cannot help but envision the story as you read it. If you are looking for exaggerated humor, fun puns, and creative license, then this is your book.
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It was so stupidly funny that I found myself laughing aloud at times. I smiled more as I read on. I enjoyed the book and it put me in a happy mood. The third entry into The Tales of Pell, it was a fun read as a self-contained story.
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A pun-tasmagorical voyage , a coming of age story , a pirate adventure and so much more all rolled into a most entertaining and pun-tasic read!!!! 
This is a delight to read! It is a sequel but it would be possible to read it alone. It would be even more hysterical to read after the other books in the series (Kill the Farmboy and No Country for Old Gnomes).
 The books are filled with raucous adventures and a plethora of puns and jokes and often ridiculous characters. The most fun in escapist literature in a long time!!!!!
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Sometimes you are just in the right mood for a particular book. Such was the case with me and The Princess Beard! This volume of the Tales of Pell goes back to the rose covered tower last seen in To Kill the Farm Boy where the sleeping beauty awakes to foul breath, dangerously long nails and more hair than Lady Harkovrita can imagine. So she breaks her nails, cuts off her braids, but keeps her beard while she makes her escape. Calling herself Morgan, she joins Filthy Lucre and his pirate crew on The Puffy Peach along with a centaur, an elf and a dryad. Avoiding sea monsters, the POPO, cannibals, they are hunting for treasure and the source of EATUM, the main food of the Dinnys restaurant chain. There are plenty of puns, strange names (Qurt Qobayne as boatswain is one, Sober Captain Morgan is another), weird chapter headings, and general skewering of all sorts of tropes. The authors clearly had a lot of fun writing this tale and the reader is the beneficiary of their fun! Read and enjoy!
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This book did not disappoint! Just as good as those that came previously! Absolutely hilarious! Love the dynamic duo Kevin Hearne and Delilah Dawson!
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Another great entry into the Tale of Pell series. Each entry is just as reverent and punny as the one before. I love that each tale intertwines characters and storylines from each of the earlier books like little easter eggs.
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Thank you so much to Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine - Del Rey for the eARC in exchange for an honest review! All opinions are my own!

I have really enjoyed reading this entire series.  Book three, The Princess Beard, picks right up in the world of Pell with more puns, more great characters, an epic adventure, and closure for some of my old favorites.

I think my favorite character in this one was the pirate captain.  Filthy Lucre and all the ridiculous pirate rules in the manual were just hilarious.  He was also a good character though, as were Morgan and Vic and Al, everyone on the journey had a rewarding character arc.

I have to say though the tampoons were a bit too much 😂

All in all though, everything from centaur anatomy to flesh hungry trees to a slew of cute but meat bound otters made this a memorable conclusion to the trilogy.  I was glad to see Poltro and Toby back in the end with Gustave, and the book had a neat way of bringing the series back full circle.  

Thank you so much again to the publisher and NetGalley for the chance to read this series!
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A laugh out loud story of Pell.  If you've not read any of Kevin Hearne and Delilah Dawson's books, I truly feel sorry for you.  They write fairy tales that your mother never told you...or even heard of!  An entertaining trip aboard an unusual pirate ship that will lead you to question every tale you heard before!
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This series quickly became one of my favorites with each book that I read. It's a great read for people who love Terry Pratchett, staying true to the genre of parody fantasy. I love how the way that Delilah Dawson and Kevin Hearne incorporate pop culture into the the books, making sure that each page makes the readers laugh even if they do not entirely understand the reference that is being made. I felt as though this book was one of the weakest in the series, but that is just my personal opinion, but overall I still thoroughly enjoyed the entire book. The ending worked perfectly, tying together all of the series together. Even if the books were not necessarily connected, they still worked together perfectly to build the incredible world of Pell. I really hope that this is not the last book that they plan to release in this series, because I just love it so much. Even if they do not release anymore in the Pell, I would read whatever they cowrite because of how well they work perfectly together.
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This was fun! There are a lot of puns, and the story plays around with several fairytale tropes: princess in a tower, pirate ship, chosen one..., and it plays with them all well. 

This is the third installment in the Tales of Pell, and it contributed pretty well. Like the first two books, Kill the Farm Boy and No Country for Old Gnomes, it follows an assortment of characters: Morgan, the princess, Vic, a centaur trying to undo some magic, Tempest, a dryad who wants to be the first dryad lawyer, and Alobartalus, who wants to meet the Sn'archivist (side note, that is a perfect name for an archivist in a snarky series). The characters were funny and lovable, and it was also fun to see the return of old favorites like Poltro. 

If you enjoy Shrek, Monty Python, Stardust, or The Princess Bride, you'll probably like The Princess Beard.
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The Princess Beard
By Kevin Hearne Daliah Dawson
A satirical ride through myth and literature as a princess tries to find her way after a curse. The characters are cliche mythology figures from dryads to centaurs..  the creatures face an odyssey quest with satirical twist with hints for popular fiction from Harry Potter to Divergent.. its humor is outrageous and the twists unexpected..
Highly recommended for young adults.
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The Princess Beard is a book that makes you think, even as you laugh until you cry. Much like the movie that the title references, this story is beautifully complex and multilayered. I have read it twice over, and know that there is still much left to uncover the next time I pick it up.

Honestly, it’s hard to decide where to start gushing. I adore fairy tales and their retellings. The premise of the princess rescuing herself and becoming a pirate is only the start of the story. At its heart, it is about facing your personal demons, and embracing them to find your true self. The fact that this is accomplished by challenging traditional gender roles or stereotypes (Vic and Morgan), or by having to face both the disapproval of family and an inevitable fate (Tempest), or by forging an entirely new path (Alobartalus); it is done with both grace and humor.

I adore excellent wordplay. I grew up reading both Xanth and the Callahan series. Puns fly frequently between SC and I. Kevin and Delilah have made a world replete with clever words and multiple meanings. There are macguffins, and anagrams. There is edge-of-your-seat action sandwiched between genuine feelings and laugh-out-loud hilarity. And at the very end, there is the warm fuzzy of finally coming home.
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