Cover Image: You Too?

You Too?

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Member Reviews

Trigger Warnings: As a book about the #meToo movement, this deals with themes from catcalling or verbal abuse to rape and incest and everything in between. So, please take care and decide if you are in the right headspace to handle this book.

I’ve read quite a few books in past couple months that dealt with sexual harassment in the workplace and the rise of the #meToo movement. So, when I saw the announcement of this book in which many YA authors are sharing their own stories and letting young women know that they aren’t alone, I was very excited to read this book. And I really am honored to be a part of this blog tour.

This is a painful and difficult read, partly because of the experiences of the authors and how they are still common after all these years, partly also because they brought up many of my own memories which I may have tried to forget. It’s also a very diverse collection of experiences and each author talks about their own way of dealing with their trauma, and that’s definitely an important message for young women that there is no single right way to react or respond.

It took me a while to read it completely because I could only handle it in small doses, but nevertheless, it’s a very important book and I would love to give this to any young woman I know. But I also think it’s important for adult readers like me to read because we all have had these experiences and it’s good to know we are not alone.

I’m not going to rate any of the individual stories, just share my thoughts on each of them below:

It’s our Secret by Patty Blount

As a survivor of child molestation, the author asks a very timely question - when her parents asked her to keep it a secret about what happened to her, were they sparing her the ordeal of being dismissed, or were they just sparing themselves?

Wishing on Silver Dollars by Jennifer Brown

This was painful to read because it’s so relatable and common. The author delves into all the ways girls are sexualized since puberty (which is worse for the curvy girls) and how we are so used to verbal comments and leering and groping that by the time we are ready to start our careers, we just consider this harassment part of our lives. But what hit me most was the author talking about how we feel shame for being harassed when it’s the other person’s fault. This is definitely a lesson that every young woman needs to be told - it’s not your fault.

This is How it Ends by Tiffany Brownlee

As a young black girl with a sheltered upbringing, the author experienced both racial and sexual harassment and I really felt for her because she too concluded at that young age that it must be her fault. But as an educator currently, she emphasizes that such harassing conduct arises from ignorance or lack of empathy, and it’s necessary to teach kids to respect themselves and others, and exercise self-control.

Sugar, Spice and Not so Nice by Jess Capelle

The author’s harassment experiences and the way they are dismissed by the adults through the years are all too familiar, and she stresses that despite being taught from childhood that we girls should keep quiet and not make waves and just be nice, we really shouldn’t do that. We have a voice and we should use it to stand up for ourselves and not let anyone get away with harassing us.

Bus Stop Witchcraft by Kenna Clifford

As a young bisexual woman, the author talks about being a bit luckier to be able to grow up in the generation where #meToo movement is prominent and atleast some women are able to speak about their experiences. And she also talks about the need to speak our stories and make our voices heard.

Young but Not Powerless by Eva Darrows

The author talks about her experiences with harassment in school from teachers and how much worse it is than if the perpetrators were boys her own age, because these teachers had power over the students. And her mentioning that many girls knew about it and just warned younger girls to be safe, rather than reporting the issues just underlines the harsh reality that sometimes it’s easier to keep ourselves safe than try to get a harasser punished.

It Was Me Too by Dana L. Davis

As a survivor of childhood sexual assault, the author talks about how she internalized the shame that it was all her fault, and how it completely changed her as a person well into adulthood, how she learnt to just be aloof and hide and never put herself in a vulnerable position. This is another reality for so many women and it was heartbreaking to read about.

Anything but Ordinary by Ronni Davis

The author talks about the shame in wondering what she might have done and how her not acting her “color” had contributed to her being assaulted, and later on feeling anger and shame for all the instances when she didn’t speak up. There is also the feeling that she can’t use #meToo because what happened to her wasn’t too bad. But ultimately it’s about the fact that every single instance matters and we are not alone.

Not that Kind of Girl by Natasha Deen

The author talks about boundaries and emotional violence in her teenage years, and how traumatic it can feel when the whole school judges you for something you haven’t done. But she is also very graceful in her message that sometimes restraint is important, we should speak up for ourselves but never say anything in anger that we wouldn’t say in normal situations.

How do I look ? By Nicolas DiDomizio

As a young gay man in the closet, the author talks about how his shame about his body and weight made him accept the things that were done to him even when he knew they were wrong. And he makes a great point that self worth doesn’t and shouldn’t depend on how you look and I think it’s something we can all keep in mind.

Gray Lines by Namina Forna

As an African immigrant and also a child survivor of war, the author talks about not understanding the concept of personal space and just not making a fuss when a teacher violated it because she didn’t want to be a problem. But I’m glad that she was quick to recognize grooming and make herself safe after that, so I completely agree with her message that make a fuss and say no whenever anyone disrespects your personal boundaries, and do whatever you need to keep yourself safe.

No, Not Me! By Jenna Glass

This was definitely an eye opening read because the author talks about how we normalize so many harassing behaviors like flashing or groping or unwanted touching, never realizing that these are also forms of sexual assault. She talks about the importance of talking about these issues and not letting anyone get away with these kinds of actions without consequences.

Before Starbucks or Cell Phones by Janet Gurtler

The author’s experience was tough to read about, but I was also glad that she had atleast one teacher who listened. But the common theme of shame still comes through, with young girls always wondering if they did something that made the boys or men behave so badly. And I think that’s why the author’s message is important that we shouldn’t keep these things to ourselves, we should talk to and support each other, so that we may one day get to a world where a girl can say it has never happened to me.

The One we don’t Talk about by Teri Hall

This was absolutely horrific to read about and I don’t have words to describe the strength it must have taken for the author as a young girl to finally tell someone about all the abuse that was happening in her house. As the author says, believe in yourself and never let your abuser convince you that you don’t matter because you do.

A Long Overdue Confession by Ellen Hopkins

This is mostly the author introspecting her decisions when she was eighteen to have an affair with a married man and how she was taken advantage of due to her naïveté. She also wants to share the story to prevent if possible other younger girls from succumbing to older men’s attention and flattery, particularly those girls who already have body image issues.

Bathsheba by Mackenzi Lee

Through the Bible story of David and Bathsheba, the author tries to make the point that despite what we’ve been told since childhood, we are not responsible for making men comfortable or for their violent actions; none of our dressing or talking or anything is a reason for men to violate us and we should always remember that.

Burn by Saundra Mitchell

The author lists instances after instances where she was violated but couldn’t do anything because she felt trapped but her realization after she turned seventeen is something we can all hope for - to start believing in ourselves and finding our voice and never stopping ourselves from expressing our anger.

Just Smile by Ali Novak

The author’s story highlights the fact that even if we haven’t been physically assaulted, words flung against us can cause equal emotional trauma, and that’s why we should use our own words to tell our stories and never minimize what we’ve been through.

Boys Will be Boys By Eve Porinchak

Another experience where the boys’ actions are blamed on the girl’s clothes, but I was very glad to know the author had a supportive family and learnt to stand up for herself at a very young age. We all definitely need that conviction.

There is Strength in our Voices by Cheryl Rainfield

I can’t even begin to understand the strength it must have taken for the author to run away and survive her whole childhood where she was part of a cult and her own family raped and tortured her, but I tip my hat off to her for finding the resilience and the queer community that helped her. And that’s why she insists that it’s important to listen and talk to other survivors, so that we may help others while also helping ourselves and not feeling we’re alone in our ordeal.

Pretty Enough by Beth Revis

This is a story of the author’s realization that how wrong it was of her to internalize the feelings that only beautiful girls got harassed and because she wasn’t, it meant she wasn’t worth it. She talks about how harmful this divide is and basing self worth on looks is, and asks us all to understand that there is only one side - all of us women who have to stick up for each other and not let anyone else make us feel powerless with their words or actions.

My Oklahoma History by Andrea L. Rogers

As a Cherokee citizen from Oklahoma, the author uses her tribe’s history as a parallel to how indigenous women are treated - both have a right to their sovereignty but it’s always threatened. And she makes a wonderful point that women don’t need to forgive anyone for the purpose of moving on - forgiveness can be a consideration if someone is making amends but it means nothing if the violator has no regrets.

Class Valedictorian by Lulabel Seitz

As a young Asian woman who was assaulted by a rich white classmate in high school, the author talks about the ways in which she was silenced and disbelieved by those in power because they didn’t want to discomfort the perpetrator. When she says that money and holding onto old white power structures matter more, I don’t see anything wrong about it because that’s still the world we live in. But I admire her for speaking up even when she was forced not to, and trying to keep doing it for other people even at such a young age.

No Right Way to be Wronged by Mischa Thrace

This is a different take on all the above experiences but it’s not wrong in anyway. The author talks about how no one is owed our secrets or the details of what happened to us, and it’s totally our choice. It’s ok to not want to be a spokesperson for the cause or tweet about our issues. After her own assault, the author found it easier to deal with it by expressing her anger through learning Muay Thai and just like her, everyone has the right to find their own way of dealing with the trauma, even if it is silence.

Notes on Girlhood by Amy Zhang

The author talks about all the overwhelming feelings that one is bombarded with after a sexual assault happens, because we aren’t sure how to process the trauma; and navigating it becomes a big part of our life. She talks about being fortunate enough to have a friend group as well as a therapist who helped her untangle all her feelings and feel like herself again a little bit, and that it’s enough for now.

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“But we need to keep talking about the hard stuff. And we need to listen. We need to hear from survivors. We need to work toward making this would a place where going people will be able to say with confidence “NOT ME”. It never happened to me.”

This book is important - so, so important. It highlights issues you don’t want to think about including, sexual assault, abuse, and harassment.

Although, this book is aimed at teenagers, I think adults can also learn a lot from this book. It doesn't brush anything under the carpet - in fact it bravely fought for attention, letting everyone know that this isn’t ok. It covers the challenges we face in today’s (and in past) societies. It shows how harassment and ‘harmless fun’ is anything but and needs to be shouted about from the rooftops, to let everyone know that it shouldn’t be happening.

I think this book will make people who’ve experienced these issues feel heard and less alone. And just because someone may not be physically harmed, it can still live with them for a long time. I also think it will make teens aware that their actions have consequences, and can still damage someone for many years after the original event.

It was painful, but also empowering and inspiring. Everyone who contributed to this book is amazing and brave. The raw honesty in which they told their stories was something I cannot describe.

The beauty of sharing, of people coming together to share their experiences - their raw, personal and painful experiences was inspiring and I think it will help people who’ve been through these things.

Although aimed at teens, I would recommend this to everyone who has the chance to read it. I have never read a book like it and I hope that it will be read for many years to come.

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I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. Thank you NetGalley..

This collection was fantastic. I was enthralled by each and every story. Definitely read this. You won't regret it.

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*An ARC was provided to me by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.*

5 stars. Such an incredibly important read.

Educational, enlightening, raw, momentous, gut wrenching, disturbing, truthful. It is hard to put into words a review that could do these stories justice. But I will say this, each story in this anthology is written with a raw honesty that deserves to be heard. These are stories that deal with various degrees of sexual assault, rape, abuse, harassment. I encourage everyone to read their stories (written by women AND men) and really listen to what they are saying. Because no one should ever have to say #MeToo.

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Five stars

I got nervous when I saw a description suggesting that this book was a kind of teen version of Roxane Gay's _Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture_ because Gay is a genius and that book is a centerpiece of our culture at this time. How could another collection, particularly one marketed to teen readers, rise to that level?

This does.

There are many reasons that I think this book is a tremendous success. First, the audience awareness is spot-on. The writers tell stories of their experiences as children and as teens, and the settings in which these traumatic encounters and crimes take place are common to the readers of this work: school, home, a friend's house, on the walk home from school, etc. Each essay feels authentic and personal, and the examples within them are incredibly varied. There is discussion of rape, sexual assault, domestic violence, all forms of power-based personal violence, emotional abuse, degradation, incest, and more. Any reader of this work will come away with an important message: if it feels wrong to you, it is. There's a clear theme of validation here, and to me, that - along with the attention to diverse voices - is the most important contribution of this work.

I think it's hard to get a book of essays - particularly on this subject - into the hands of teens, but I hope many teens do engage with this work and find the comfort, support, and validation that it can provide.

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Wow. This was extremely powerful. The #MeToo movement sparked a very important discussion that needed to be addressed a long time ago. This is a collection of essays from YA and MG authors, was inspired by this movement that hit the world in 2017. 

As more and more stories started to come out, it made you think about your own life and experiences. The things that you brushed off as normal, were actually not okay. Physical assault or verbal assault. A common thread that was woven throughout all of the stories in this anthology was the shame people felt and the blame they put upon themselves: Did I dress to provocatively? Was I too forward, trusting? Was it my fault? Why didn't I speak up? For some of these authors, the trauma they experienced as children shaped the rest of their life and how they perceived themselves and men. Others only just realized the incidences that they may have brushed aside over the years were more significant and alarming than they thought.

This movement has opened the eyes of so many people to the harsh realities that people face—not just for women and not just in the entertainment industry. However, there is still a long way to go. Predators are still getting away with their crimes, and victims are still being dismissed when coming—if they even come forward at all.

This is such an important piece of work that should be read by all teens. It could be so beneficial in more ways than people might realize. 

ARC was provided by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

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Thanks to NetGalley and Harlequin Teen for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.

You Too? is a collection of memoirs about sexual assault, rape, and the #MeToo movement. This was a tough read but an important one. Not only did it give me new insights, it also made me consider some of own experiences in new ways. I hope that this book reaches the teen audience it's meant for. It will really help teenage girls to know that they are not alone, and that their experiences don't define them.

There were a few stories that really resonated with me, including Saundra Mitchell's and Lulabell Seitz'.

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Like 2019's The (Other) F Word (ed. Angie Manfredi) I found this collection important and deeply emotional, but with much repetition between entries. The message that survivors of rape, sexual harassment, or sexual assault can and should feel empowered to speak out is, obviously, an important one. But having that same message recur so many times started to get a little monotonous, and despite the emphasis the forward placed on misconception of this as a "woman's issue," it seemed that the inclusion of male/nonbinary voices was somewhat lacking. I did, however, appreciate that the stories featured included a range of occurrences, relationships, and perpetrators.

While somewhat flawed and certainly difficult to read, this is a timely anthology, one which can serve as reassurance and empowerment to those living with past trauma as well as education for those who are looking to be positive supporters.

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This was a very powerful read. Many if the stories in this anthology are heavy which is completely what it should be. These different stories showcase a variety of different emotions and experiences that the writers have, but each story is meant to leave the reader with a bit of hope that if they could come forward so can you and as we address things can change. A wonderful and important book for all to read in times where these stories are so relevant.
Thank you to netgalley and the publishers for providing me with an arc for an honest review.

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I absolutely loved this book. Truly, one of my favorite books of the entire year. It is so powerful, and heartbreaking to read. It's a truly a must read in my opinion. I will not be giving a full review here, as I am set to give a full review on January 24th for its blog tour, and want to save all my full thoughts and feelings for then. But I absolutely LOVED this title, and will recommend it to everybody. It gave me very similar vibes to "Not that Bad" by Roxane Gay-a book that is also among my favorites of the year.

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You Too? is a book filled with stories from different women talking about their own #metoo experiences. I wouldn't call this book enjoyable, it made me angry and sad for not only these women, but all women. But this book is important and needed. These women are so strong to talk about what happened to them and how it made them feel. Its important to see how they overcame what had happened to them. I think this is the kind of book that should be in all school libraries and classrooms.

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Thank you Netgalley for providing me with an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

Sadly the formatting of this book through me off, I ended up DNFing this book. However, once it is published I will be picking it up again. I was very interested in the stories, it was the spelling errors and formatting that kept pulling me out of the stories.

I think this is definitely a book that needs to be out in the world and can do so much good for people. I enjoyed what I could read of it and plan to finish it at a later date.

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This is beautiful and powerful with so many diverse stories and analysis of what it's like to be a woman in this day and age. Will definitely jumpstart discussion.

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I was given an ARC by Netgalley in exchange for a fair review.

This was a very powerful collection, and I think it should be mandatory reading for anyone and everyone. The collection was strongest towards the end where it felt like the essays had more of a succinct closing.

One issue I did have that is taking it from a 5 to a 4 stars is that some of the essays do get extremely repetitive in their last pages. You could easily skip a few pages in each of the story and wouldn't miss a beat because it felt like they were retreading the same thoughts to fit into a word/page count. Close to half of the stories I found myself skimming through the last pages of each just because they were the same thoughts over and over.

Still an extremely solid collection and my favorites were the one about Bathsheba and the one that has more of a witchcraft/witchy twist to it.

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RATING: 4/5 STARS

This is a very powerful anthology. It's not the most pleasant read, but it's not supposed to be. The stories contain sadness, fear, anger, and betrayal. But they also convey an important message about what it means to be female in a way that is brutally honest but also optimistic. This is the first #MeToo book I've read that has been specifically targeted to teens. It has a great variety in the topics addressed, but at the core there is a common thread shared by all the narratives.

"It's my hope that the little girl in women of all ages will have the courage to tell their stories as well, take the necessary steps to heal, and claim the right to shine bright once again."

A sincere thanks to NetGalley and Inkyard Press for providing an advanced reading copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

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This is definitely a book that is needed by young adults and their parents. It has a diverse range of essays and they are poignant. Most readers will find many things they relate to. I also found it difficut at times, but that feeling of discomfort is intentional. Great book for starting conversation and keeping young people thinking and talking about important topics.

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Thank you to Harlequin Teen for my ARC!

This book was the YA version of Roxane Gay’s “Not That Bad.” And saying it’s YA does not in anyway mean it’s watered down; just that the content is more geared towards teens. These essays cover the gamut of sexual assault and harassment.

I think this is a great IMPORTANT book for young girls to read. I recognized my own experiences in several of the stories, and found strength, camaraderie and resilience. I wish this book had been around when I was a teenager.

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