I was intrigued by the title; I mean, We Used to Be Friends is very on the nose, but it’s exactly what this book is about, and I loved it for that. I feel like people forget that books portray people within a moment, and that sometimes, romances and friendships aren’t forever. We Used to Be Friends depicts the deterioration of a female friendship, not for any bad reasons but just because people grow away from each other sometimes.

The dual timelines were really developed. You pretty much know a general outline of what went down, but you only know from one girl, at different times. Kat’s plot line goes forward, as she realizes she’s bisexual (ownvoices!!) and dates a girl. Meanwhile, James’s narrative is told backwards; you know the end result of her pulling away but you only get to see pieces of it in Kat’s chapters.

I loved having both perspectives, especially because it emphasizes that the girls don’t “break up” (so to speak) for any one reason. James increasingly grows annoyed with Kat, not because of her sexuality, but because she’s always focused on herself and doesn’t see how her lack of support affects James. Kat is honestly oblivious to all of this; some people are just absorbed with their own lives, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. She’s just broken up with her boyfriend, a high-profile break-up if there ever was one, and she realizes she’s attracted to her new friend.

From the other side, James is dealing with her own break-up and her parents’ divorce, both of which Kat didn’t even know about. She doesn’t help with how bad the friendship gets because she internalizes all her feelings and keeps her irritation to herself, which honestly I relate to. This felt so real to me. When you’re close to someone, it’s not like you want to be annoyed with them, and you’re definitely not going to tell them.

This book had one of the best portrayals of outgrowing a friendship. Not for bad reasons, although not for good: it’s just something that happens. Even if you’ve been best friends with someone, in the end, you’re living as separate people, so it’s only natural for you to grow apart. It’s just so interesting and so relatable to me, having been a teenage girl with ex-best friends. There’s this whole person who you know a million little things about but you don’t even talk to anymore; it’s really such a sad occurrence. But again! A natural one! Pick We Used to Be Friends up whether you’ve felt this way or not!

I really enjoyed this story. The timelines were a bit tricky to figure out at first; you really have to pay attention to the chapter headings and kind of piece the story together What I loved about this book was that the girls felt like two really well developed main characters with interesting problems. I was frustrated with their lack of communication and honesty sometimes, but that felt real too and it made sense within the story. I appreciated that the author didn't just have them magically make up at the end. but left the readers wondering whether the two girls would find their ways back together during college. A really great contemporary read.

There is nothing sadder than a heartbreak caused by losing a friend. This story was told in the past and present, a timeline that hits all the nostalgic feels.

Heartbreaking book on something that most people face at some point in life: a break up between friends. I found this story very moving and really enjoyed that we got to see both Kat and James' POV when it came to what happened between them to cause such a rift while also seeing them figure out who could have been the cause.

Amazing story that moved me.

I was anxious to read this ARC because I had enjoyed The Summer of Jordi Perez so much. In fact, a friend purchased the ARC for me through a charity auction but then it never arrived (even after she was assured that the auction would contact the author remind her to send the book) so that led to much disappointment for both of us. Reading the book was another disappointment. I had a hard time grasping the two timelines at first but eventually caught on. The biggest issue was that I didn't understand why I should care about either girl. Kat was clueless about how she was alienating her best friend as she filtered everything through her new relationship. James' excuses for not telling her best friend the LIFE-CHANGING events happening to her were weak and really unbelievable considering they are supposed to be best friends. It's no wonder both of them are sad about the other. And I totally expected a final chapter where we were given some hope with them making the first overtures to reconciliation.

Thank you NetGalley!

I think there are way to many books about there about relationship (love) breakups. I mean its always the same story boy meets girl and they fall in love. Boy breaks up with girl and she becomes a hot mess. Blah blah blah.

Finally, here is a story about something very important that happens all too often. Friendship breakups. Which I think hurt more than love breakups. What I loved most about this book is that it is told from both sides of Kat and James (a girl with a boys name) so you get a good look at their relationship and what happened to it.. I loved both of their characters and didn't believe it was a one sided loss. Sometimes people grow apart and its awful when it happens to people that close.

I'm saving this for my 13 year old to read...

Heartbreaking, this novel delves into a common break up that teenagers face, the best friend break up. Told in dual timelines, the reader is given a glimpse into the lives of the characters as they try to survive their senior year.

I really wanted to like this book, and to me it fell a little bit flat. The writing was good I just couldn't connect to the characters as much as I wanted to!

I received an advanced copy of this book through NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Thank you for the opportunity to read this book early. I very much enjoyed this book, although it can seem confusing at times with the reverse chronology. We Used to Be Friends is about 2 BFF's James (a girl) and Kat who've been besties since kindergarten. As they enter senior year of HS, we start off with Kat, but not before we zoom past to *after* their senior year and to James' perspective. I highly recommend re-reading the first chapter when you finish this book, it will make more sense.

Anyway, we go back and forth until we switch places in timeline of their friendship, which is tested with real life stuff going on with James' family issues and Kat's discovery of her interest in her new friend Quinn (a girl). One thing I was a little skeptical about was a character 17 yr old not knowing what heteronormative means. However, I'll let that pass as James had a lot on her plate, but it's interesting how she copes by getting into volunteering. It is a beautiful, sad, funny at times story, and I was only a little annoyed at the "duh"'s Kat likes to verbalize, which is a nervous tic. As someone who let years go by before forgiving my best friend and rekindling a friendship with her, I could relate to the plot of the book. Excellent read.

I have a feeling that I am going to be one of the few people that just wasn’t feeling this book. So, I will start off by saying that the premise of this book was interesting the drifting apart of a childhood friendship is something that we all have experienced and I was interested in how it would play out. However, the characters where not my cup of tea. The book focuses on two best friend’s Kat and James we follow their friendship throughout their senior year. Kat is the outgoing popular friend who everyone in the book liked and in contrast James is the quiet, reserved friend who is caught up in Kat’s orbit. I mentioned this earlier I didn’t like either character Kat just comes across as a selfish wench and James just felt sorry for herself. Neither was very likable and to enjoy this book I feel like you needed to be invested in the friendship.

A often uncomfortable, heart-breaking read, that gives real insights in to friendships and how they can break down. A very thought provoking and real read that focuses on something that everyone experiences but nobody talks about.

We Used to be Friends is an interesting look at how relationships change over time. People change and it's OK. The book is heartbreaking and at times uncomfortable in its truthful representation of break ups. We Used to be Friends will make you laugh and cry!

Thank you to NetGalley for my copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

I LOVED THIS. I loved every character and every scene. I have been dying to read a book with female friendship as it's central theme and I prepared myself to be disappointed, but I wish I could go back to yesterday and read it again for the first time. This story is written so thoughtfully, big themes are big, but also, not, at the same time. The complexity with which every relationship and character is written is a breath of fresh air, I feel like I understand myself better by reading this. I feel like I have so much to say, but I'm so overwhelmed that I don't know how to say it. Absolutely fantastic work

We used to be friends tell the story that many of us know all too well, the collapse of a friendship,
Two friends that were so different, but made it work.
While I did find the jumbled timeline of this book to be choppy at best, and the characters unlikable and deeply flawed, I appreciated the story it told.

Senior year of high school, two teenage girls dealing with divorce, loss, betrayal and the basic growth as human beings.
It is horrible when you realize that you have changed and outgrown something you thought would be with you forever.

When reading this book I had a very strong opinion as to who caused the break in this friendship, but now that I'm done, and I'm thinking back about it, I see that I was wrong. It was not one persons fault, as it very rarely is.

I really enjoyed this book even more than I thought. I though the author did well with showing the relationship struggles between Kat and James. I really loved the fact that it showed things slowly unravel rather than a big change that disrupts it all. The only thing is the book left me wanting a little more. Who know though? Maybe they’ll be a sequel. Regardless, I really liked this book & would definitely recommend it.

Friendship breakups are the worst. They wreck us and haunt us and there just aren't enough books written about those kinds of breakups. This was a beautiful, heart-wrenching read. It will be a great addition to our school library. Thank you netgalley for this arc, it was a really well written book in a neat format.

Amy Spalding is probably my most favourite new-to-me author of 2019. Her young adult novels are exciting and different and have these beautiful human relationships. Also, some of those human relationships are f/f and there is no fetishisation of them or anything like that. Everyone is just a person, a well fleshed out, well written person. I honestly just love writing like this.

In this novel, we get something a bit different, in that James' side of the story is told from the end, backwards, and Kat's side of the story goes from the start and goes forward. They both cover the same year of time, that being the senior year of high school. They both cover the same events, from the differing points of view.

I did find the backwards and forwards telling a little bit difficult to keep on top of for maybe the first third of the novel, but I can definitely say that the pay off by the end was definitely there.

I understand now the parts that made other people cry. And that last chapter... I honestly don't know whether the author was trying to make a bittersweet ending or leave the story on a kind of hopeful note, but honestly either reading works quite well.

Kat is the character who is far more vivacious and excitable, however she has a serious side as well. We don't see a lot of her mourning her mother, but it is referenced. James is quite and taciturn. She is sporty and has a 15 year plan... which kind of goes ass over tits when it turns out that her mum has been having an affair and leaves her dad.

Despite the differences of the personalities of these two girls, they've been best friends since kindergarten, and the story is captivating as it is sad to watch the deterioration of that friendship over the course of just one year.

I seem to be one of the only early reviewers that didn’t love this. I just found the characters to act much younger than high school seniors, and I thought the dual timelines were confusing. I did enjoy the subject matter because I think friend breakups are something that’s never covered in YA lit and they do truly suck. I just didn’t love the execution of this novel.

The title pulls no punches. This is all about the break-up of all break-ups, and though it’s upsetting on occasion I couldn’t help but warm to both James and Kat.
James and Kat were paired together in kindergarten and have been best friends since. Our story opens with them about to go to college, and things are no longer looking as rosy as they were.
The premise itself is quite straightforward. Two friends are developing and their relationship is shifting. They’re dealing with family issues, evolving relationships and the movement into adulthood. So, what’s special about this?
For me, it comes down to the innovative structure of the novel. We get alternating viewpoints, which allow us to see both perspectives, and then there’s the construction of those views. James’s story begins with her about to start college, reflecting on the last year and examining just how her relationship with her best friend came to such a place. Kate’s story opens at the beginning of senior year, full of promise and excitement as she begins a new relationship and slowly comes to learn some of her flaws.
Both characters were flawed. Kat was highly dramatic and self-obsessed, while James was reticent to discuss emotions never mind deal with them. Cutting between time/situation lent a fascinating air to this. We could see how it would end up, and the signs were obvious but both seemed unable to do anything to salvage it.
Though I enjoyed the style of telling, and grew to feel some compassion for both characters, I’m not entirely sure what the message of this book is. Relationships change. Sometimes people aren’t what you thought. Too much introspection is a bad thing. Too much self-obsession is a bad thing.
I’m grateful to NetGalley for granting me access to this in exchange for my thoughts. This might be one to return to.

I loved this book. There are a million books written about a broken heart about a break up, but it is true that our friends can break our hearts as well. Those long-lasting friendships or just as and often more significant to our lives than romantic ones.

High school and college are about making big decisions and changing and growing, and sometimes people we love grow apart from us. We Used to Be Friends is a delightful and poignant book about the changes that happen to our relationships over time. It focuses on a friendship, but also includes the changes between parents and children and romantic relationships as well.

The book changes point of view between two friends, James and Kat, during their senior year. Though the two girls are vastly different, I find myself liking them both and being sympathetic to them both. As their friendship unravels, I do not think it is solely one person's fault over the other, and they both make mistakes and have good intentions.

This is another book that will go in my classroom library!