Love Her or Lose Her

Pub Date:   |   Archive Date: 14 Jan 2020

Member Reviews

This couple most certainly should have divorced each other. And Honey girl is a weird ass nickname.

  On so many levels this book failed to engage me in any sort of way. I went into this book really excited because I'm actually a big fan of the marriage on the rocks trope and I think reading about rekindled love can be very sweet and heartfelt. To me this didn't feel like love, this felt like obsession, it felt like absurd levels of codependence and I can't believe that any of this was meant to feel romantic. Dominic is an annoying, emotionally underdeveloped alpha male who is rewarded for every bit of his overbearing and posssesive behaviors.
   I feel like there was a commentary in there somewhere about hypermasculinity but not really because every time he does something unhealthy he is rewarded for it. The couple talks about how they isolated themselves so wrapped up in each other partly because Dominic hated to "share her" to the that she had to rebuild her entire support system from the ground up, which finally gave her the courage to leave a toxic situation. The way Rosie would see his behaviors, know they make her unhappy, try to distance herself and then be pulled back in by him showing up and invading every bit of space she carved out for herself because of whatever "physical pull" existed between them felt so gross and not emotionally rewarding at all to me. There was nothing romantic about any of it in my opinion.

   Additionally I hated this author's writing style, moments that I could tell were meant to be comical made me cringe. The sexy dirty talk made me cringe. The "emotional" therapy sessions felt so idiotic. They would talk for five seconds and suddenly the session is over and they've apparently reached some pivotally emotional turning point and then they're immediately back to square one. The therapist himself was one big joke of a character and not even a funny one. Him conducting couple exercises just so he could have threesomes in the woods??? what even???? This story was absurd, repetitive and boring. No amount of rock hard penises and wet vaginas make up for the lack of genuine emotional or physical chemistry on the page. I'm not even a prudish kind of person when it comes to sex in books, I love it actually. But the sexual overtones destroyed this book for me. These two people can't even look each other in the eyes without the woman's thighs becoming sopping wet and the man shifting uncomfortably in his jeans. Every conversation they had was completely unremarkable to me and they all devolved into long winded descriptions of how "sex was never the problem in their marriage".  It got to the point where every few pages I had to set the book down because I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes or inwardly cringing at one thing or another.

   In short, I did not find this couple engaging, I was not rooting for them at all. I found both characters uninspired, and Dominic outright annoying and his possesive "she's my wife she should be home" monologue gross. I felt that there were way too many cringy sex scenes which took away from the relationship development and personal development I woud have liked to see here. The dialogue was completely uninspired, and unfunny to me as well which made it difficult to even find enjoyment in the "comedy" aspect of the novel and made the dirty talk excruciating to get through. This whole book took me 36 painful days to finish and I honestly cannot imagine myself reading from this author again.
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I am usually not a big fan of novels about marriages in distress...feels cliche sometimes but Tessa Bailey nailed this one- sweet & steamy and one to put on your must-read list!
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Typically a romance begins with two strangers and ends with some unseen but implied happily ever after. If the author knows what her readers like there’s often an epilogue with an engagement or a glimpse of the couple’s life together. Even still, it is rare for us to find out what happens after the big bang (pun intended) of first love has puttered out. Not in Love Her or Lose Her.

Despite their intense (read: SUPER HOT) chemistry and long relationship, Rosie and Dominic simply don’t know each other anymore. They exist in each other’s space without sharing that space. Love Her of Lose Her is the story of the fight to save their marriage. It involves a hippie marriage therapist, love languages, a hilarious group of friends, a really sexy scene in a kitchen, but mostly a sweet love story worth saving.

Anyone who has been in a long term relationship knows that you can fall into routines and begin to take your partner for granted if you’re not working at it every single day. Love Her or Lose Her reminded me of all the little ways our love stories keep being written even after the final page.
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Highschool sweethearts and best friends Rosie and Dominic Vega are the perfect couple who once were madly in love.  Before Dom’s deployment and death of Rosie’s parents, they had a life full of laughter and love. 
But now their marriage has suddenly flatlined. Their ten-year marriage is on the brink of a separation, they rarely talk and there is an extreme lack of communication. When Rosie decides to leave, they both realize that their love might have been fainted. Rosie and Dom are a fictional version of real married couples. They really love each other but life’s ups and downs get in their way. Now they are taking extreme measure to fix their relationship.
 I have to admit the graphic sexual scenes that was repeatedly happening was a bit too much. Which from my point of view were ludicrous and caused the relationship between these two look depreciated and downgraded. But at the same time, I enjoyed the humor and how hard the main characters were trying to communicate and 
save their long love.   

Many thanks to #NetGalley and #HarperCollinsPublishers and @avonbooks for the ARC.

 You can see full review on my blog:
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This was a good follow up with two characters I enjoyed hearing about in the first book, Fix Her Up. Unfortunately, this troupe of saving a marriage wasn't my favorite thing so I was going into this book with lowered expectations. I also just didn't connect with these characters as much, particularly in the way her was introduced so negatively from her perspective in the beginning. The hyper masculinity just didn't work for me.Entertaining romance, but just not my thing
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DNF at 30%. I just could not handle the alpha male of the main love interest. He was very "Well we're married, so you have to come home" and even though I'm sure at some point he'd figure it out, I literally did not care about him and had no interest in finding out if he got back together with his wife. I didn't understand why she would be attracted to him and want to sleep with him when he was such an ass.
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Ratings (out of of 5):
Sexiness: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Redemption: 🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝
Heart: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Somewhere along the line, Rosie Vega’s marriage flatlined. Her home, once full of so much love and laughter and joy before her husband’s deployment and the deaths of her parents, is silent. Her husband, Dominic, her high school sweetheart is quiet and removed and now they’ve just been going through the motions for years. But when Rosie decides to leave, both she and Dominic realize that their love might have been in a coma, but it’s anything but dead.
I don’t read many marriage-in-trouble romances. Mostly because the “trouble” involves someone f*cking someone they shouldn’t have and then dealing with the ensuing fallout. Not gonna yuck your yum, but that’s not really my bag. This book isn’t that. It isn’t about one monumental screwup. Rather, this is a book about how you can live with a person for years and stop seeing them - stop seeing yourself.
It’s about the silence that builds and builds and how a relationship can fail, not because people stop loving one another, but because they stop remembering how to express that love in a way that will be received. In that, this book feels so goshdamn important - a cautionary tale for all of us romantics. Romance doesn’t sustain itself.
But for all of the heaviness that might accompany a book about a man desperately trying to save his marriage, this book is incredibly fun. There’s humor, deep friendships, and so much heart that it practically bursts at the seams. In true Bailey fashion, the side characters are nearly as vibrant and important as the mains and you’ll find yourself swept up by all of them. I truly could not put this book down until it was through.
If you like a second chance romance that is diverse, brilliantly written, and manages to balance being important with being toe-curlingly sexy, you will not want to miss this.
Kiss and Tell:
This book is classic Tessa Bailey. For you newbies, this means that you’ll be fanning yourself while you read and maybe reaching for greater relief than just a glass of cold water. Kissing that made me gasp, hand play, oral, p&v penetration, and so much goshdamn sexual tension that you could spread it on toast. This book is cinematically sexy.

(I received an ARC for this book from NetGalley. Opinions are all my own.)
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I very much enjoyed the first book in the Hot and Hammered series so I was looking forward to Love Her or Lose Her by Tessa Bailey. The long married couple Rosie and Dominic appear briefly in the Fix Her Up and you get a glimpse of how they’ve stopped communicating. They still have sexual attraction enough to fuel all of Long Island but they don’t talk, they don’t eat together, they don’t go out. 

At the beginning of the book Rosie leaves and insists they go to counseling. Major point to the author for depicting therapy and illustrating a closed off guy like Dominic deciding to go. The counselor is a bit of a cliché and I wondered about his suggestions (and his clock) but it works in the story.

In many romances it is a painful trope when one character has a secret from the other half of the couple but Bailey set up the reasoning behind why so clearly and realistically I bought it. 

I’ve been married for many many years and this book was a marvelous reminder that even us old married folks need romance and that a wedding ceremony is only the beginning. 

Thanks to Netgalley for ARC.
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I wanted to love this book as much as I loved Fix Her Up, but there was something just different in this book. It was not bad in the slightest bit, but something just felt off in this one. 

I wholeheartedly believe that the ending had a pretty big influence on my review. I loved this whole book. I loved Dom and Rosie. I loved Dom's secrets, I loved Rosie's angst, I loved it all. However, I felt like the end seemed a little rushed and that's why I gave this a four-star rating instead of five. I waited the whole novel and rooted for these two and the ending just seemed like...BAM. 

Tessa Bailey knows how to write angst. It really makes me feel for the characters and I can appreciate the writing when that happens. The pain between Dom and Rosie was truly, truly felt throughout the entire book. I could see the story-line as realistic with what they were going through. 

The connection and steam between Rosie and Dom was felt for sure. You could see that they loved each other, but this story was very different from what I've read before. The story of "we don't love each other, but our bodies need each other" was very interesting and I think Tessa Bailey wrote it beautifully. 

Overall, I can't wait for more Tessa Bailey books. She's a fantastic writer that knows how to include all aspects of a perfect romance (love, angst, trust, etc.). She's definitely becoming one of my favorite authors.
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I have no idea why there aren’t more romances featuring married couples, but Love Her or Lose Her proves that you don’t have to be single to have a passionate love life. 

Rosie and Dominic were once madly in love but they have succumbed to complacency and insecurities and now find themselves at a turning point in their marriage. I’ve been married a very long time so I’m well acquainted with some of the challenges Rosie and Dominic face. The book definitely has an air of authenticity. 

Rosie is the one who wants out of the marriage, but happily the story avoids making Dominic a one-dimensional insensitive jerk. Quite the opposite, in fact. He loves Rosie desperately, but he is clueless about her needs. He is willing to do whatever it takes to save their relationship, though. I really enjoyed how love languages – the different ways we show love – are explored. 

I have no objection to the book as a whole, but the story really drags. Halfway through it’s fairly clear what Dominic and Rosie’s issues are, as well which behaviors need to change. That leaves a great deal of repetitive thoughts and discussions. I had to fight the urge to skim the second half. I liked Rosie and Dominic but despite their sizzling chemistry, I didn’t find either character to be particularly interesting. This was a nice, but not great, read for me.
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Fans of Tessa Bailey- Fans of Second Chance Romance- Fan of Fix Her Up-Fans just coming off the heels of The Bromance Bookclub- fans of home improvement- there is just SO much to love about this one.
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I wanted to love this book. I wanted to lose myself in a fun, steamy romance novel. While Love Her or Lose Her was a steamy (like, STEAMY) read, it fell a bit short on the romance for me.

Dominic was controlling, borderline abusive, and Rosie seemed to be completely oblivious to just how manipulative her husband is. I mean, it may just be me, but a man who demands to fuck his wife as a solution to their marriage problems might need to work on some of his own problems before he can fix his marriage.

I know romance is supposed to have a happily ever after endings, but I did not want Rosie and Dominic to end up back together. . I found their relationship to be toxic and unhealthy.
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I adored Rosie and Dominic's book! I am usually wary of romance novels about marriages in distress. However, I love Tessa Bailey so I gave this one a shot and am so glad I did. Their story was so heartwarming and I loved watching the two main characters get to know each other again. If you are looking for a quick, sweet, and steamy read definitely pick this one up!
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2.5 and mad about it.

Way too many sex scenes, not a fan of the overly-macho possessive husband, and the actual story was repetitive as HELLLLL. I was really excited about it one and it just fell so flat for me! I think I'll still pick up Fix Her Up though since I didn't read it before this one and I've heard nothing but amazing reviews.
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I was super excited for Dominic and Rosie's book after reading them in Fix Her Up.  I really loved the fact that they were already married, but for me the story as a whole fell short.  I liked it, but didn't LOVE it like how I did with Fix Her Up.  It was missing that spark for me that kept me from being glued to the pages.  To me this didn't even feel like a "Rom-Com" for the category it is shelved in.  Needless to say I'm glad for the HEA.

I received this book at my request and have voluntarily left this unbiased review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
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I was first introduced to this author with her Romancing the Clarksons series. I really enjoyed those books. I have not read the first book in this new series but I plan to go back and read the first one after finishing this book. 

Instantly, I loved Rosie and Dominic. I felt the sexual chemistry between them. It was "raw" and "strong". It was nice to see that Dominic was willing to give couples therapy a chance. In fact, they both were committed to the task. It showed that there was still lots of love between them. 

This book had me laughing, smiling, hot and bothered. It was a pure joy to read this book. I can't wait to read the next one in the series.
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After five years of her husband Dominic barely giving her a second glance (expect for their weekly scheduled hook up), Rosie decides to call it quits on her marriage. Only Dominic isn’t letting her off the hook that easy. Determined to win her back he agrees to go to therapy—where they have four sessions to prove that they can make it work. As they learn how to communicate again, insight into each other’s love languages and being honest about their feelings, Rosie begins to realized maybe it's not as over between her and Dom as she initially thought.

What I enjoyed: Rosie! While reading it I felt like an unofficial member of the Just Us Club (this is first introduced in the previous book Fix Her Up: basically women from the town get together to help support each other). I was rooting for Rosie from page one. She’s kind and caring and after so many years of working behind a perfume counter, she's finally following her dreams of opening a restaurant. She was just really inspiring and I admired her strength. 

What I didn’t connect with: Basically, Dom. It was hard for me to ever truly get on board with him. If my husband barely acknowledged me for five years, I think I would need more from him than what ultimately shown. I was constantly thinking that Rosie deserved better. I also wish that we got more into his time in the military. It's hinted that his time serving overseas had a lot to do with why he was closed off and I really wish that was addressed more. 

3/5 stars
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Okay one word: Dominic. I loved that character so much. Holy hotness. This was a good read. I loved the different take on second chance romance, as the H and h are already married but have drifted apart. It was well written!
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ok. i have to be completely honest here - i loved fix her up, just like lots of other people. i love tessa bailey's books. i've read several of them and i've loved them all. i added this one to my tbr back in april. i requested the arc as soon as it popped up, i don't remember when that was, but i got the arc in october... coincidentally, the day that i was moving out of my house and into an apartment because my marriage had gone up in a ball of flames. 

so. i added this book to my list knowing it was about a marriage in trouble, which has never been a problem for me, before i got married or even when i was happily married. but, uh, separated and now divorced? yeah... probably should not have read it. however, like i said, i love tessa bailey and there are other books i've read recently that hit a little close to home and i ended up loving them anyway. unfortunately, this just wasn't one of them. 

i don't know if it was me and my situation, or if it was the book. i think it was a mix of both. i never felt the connection between rosie and dominic, i didn't love the trope - those two things together meant any development or steam just went right over my head and i felt no feelings. which sucks, because that's not the norm for me and tessa bailey. dominic was just a bit too much for me, too overbearing and overprotective for my liking. and again, this is me and my situation, but i thought their problems were just so... seriously? i mean, don't get me wrong, they are problems, but it just felt so silly and contrived to me - but that may be because my own marriage had actual problems and it couldn't be saved by a few changes and a silly therapist.  i was super not okay with the guys crashing the girls night in the city, that's not sexy to me, that's controlling. don't get me wrong, i like the alpha guy, a little over protective and possessive, but that's a bit much for me. towards the end, i was skimming/skipping the sex scenes because i felt no connection between dominic and rosie. i did think the ending was cute, how it all worked out. also, super here for the next book, sounds like my kind of jam.

anyway - bottom line. i love tessa bailey. i should not have read a marriage in trouble book after my own marriage fell apart, and so recently too. but on top of that, i just didn't love dominic, which meant i didn't feel anything for dominic and rosie, which meant i didn't care about their development as a couple. which sucks. so i don't quite know if it was me or the book or a mix of the two. i still love tessa bailey and i will still read more from her, i'll just be skipping marriage in trouble books for the next year or twenty....
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I love how real and emotional this story was. It depicted a part of love that rarely gets told in romance books. Most of which focus on the initial “falling in love” or “second chance love”. There are very few that focus on what happens after the two characters ride into the sunset. What happens after being together for many years and going through the motions of marriage? I felt like this had the promise of being a really fantastic book for me, but there was a lot that did not sit well with me. 

These characters were complex and diverse.  I enjoyed learning and growing with Rosie and Dominic. I feel like at some point in our lives we lose ourself, either with family, friends, or work. I liked how this was a journey of two people getting in touch, first with themselves, for self-betterment for their spouse. Rosie, I felt, was slowly losing herself in her mundane life. She dreamt of more but felt like she wasn’t good enough to pursue it. Dominic was closed off emotionally and as the years went on, though he loved Rosie fiercely, he couldn’t express anything.  

At a point, I was so completely engrossed in the story as to what was happening between Rosie and Dominic when it took a huge dive into the sexual parts and my mind didn’t have a chance to catch up. This happened repeatedly.  The graphic sexual scenes I felt were out of out of place for this story and in a way cheapened the relationship between Rosie and Dominic. I felt that at this point in their relationship it should have been focused on the emotions rather than the chemistry or sexual connection because obviously that wasn’t their problem. 

On the other hand, there were a lot of parts I enjoyed. I thought the side characters were great and brought humor to the dark story.  I really felt a connection to this and I was completely invested in how their story would turn out. The whole point of the book was for both characters to be able to communicate, but at every turn they failed. Dominic kept secrets instead of making decisions together and Rosie let her libido guide her. I wanted to love this book but I don’t think a book like this was made for a reader like me. 

Thank you so much to NetGalley and HarperCollins Publishers for this eARC.
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