I received this book as an ARC from NetGalley. Frequent switching of timelines can make it difficult to keep up, but overall it was a good read with insight into the life of someone affected by addiction.

I was intrigued by Carder Stout’s story from the synopsis, and was excited to see how he went from privileged rich-family white kid to crack addict in the depths of Venice Beach in the 90’s. And it IS a good read: the narrative flows well, and Carder’s tone is smart, self-deprecating, and funny. There was just something that was bothering me at the back of my mind when I suddenly realized what it was: Carder is alive and thriving in his life today because of his privilege. I wonder how many of the people who were around him in those days are alive and/or not in prison?

The narrative jumps back and forth between young child Carder and mid 20’s crack addict Carder, and it works well. Carder’s childhood is far from perfect: a father who is never there, an absent, alcoholic mother who would rather spend time sleeping and/or out with friends than cuddling her kids, and he discovers the joy of drugs and alcohol at a very early age. I could totally relate to how he describes how he discovers his first high, and how obvious it is that he has never forgotten that feeling (because you search for it in vain for the rest of your life). I did have some trouble navigating the dissection of his crack habit in minute detail, it felt more like a personal necessity to write it down, rather than something that was an addition to the story. It actually ended up putting me off more than anything: every addict has their routines and preferences, and it’s really not that interesting for the reader to delve into how one loads a crack pipe. But maybe that’s just me…

It sometimes felt like I was reading a chapter from an episode of Gossip Girl to be honest. I wanted to roll my eyes back and shake this dude until he stopped acting like an idiot: do you know how many people would kill for opportunities like this?! Obviously unfair on my part, but still the privilege and the inability to acknowledge it riled me up a bit.

Carder is a lucky dude - he could have easily wound up dead but instead he was able to turn his life around and is now a therapist with some very rich and famous clients. At the end of his memoir he mentions that he has a couple of pro bono clients on his books every year, as a way of giving back. Which makes sense, but kind of made me want to shake him some more… What about all the Tisha’s and the Jamal’s who helped him when he was in Ghost Town? Were they able to turn their lives around? The kids on the streets from whom he bought crack? So many more people fall through the cracks than make it out ok.

This is an interesting addiction-dark home-redemption type of read, but there it comes with a ton of privilege that most of the world doesn’t have to fall back on.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance copy in return for an honest review.

WOW!!! I expected the usual addiction memoir: addicted author ends up in rehab, relapses immediately after release, then gets clean, supposedly for good. Okay, so that happened. However, I have never encountered the story twists of an author whose street life was like an episode of "Breaking Bad." How about dealing with gang members who would just as soon kill you as look at you.? Literally.

The only issue I will warn about is the frequent jumping back and forth in time. I lost my bearings on a few occasions.

I wish the author continued success with his life and with this book. A great read! I thank NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review this book.

I loved this book. I was absorbed in the story from page one and had to know what happened. Every now and then it slowed a little with the flashbacks, which aren't my favorites, but for the most part, this book had me glued to the pages. I had to remind myself that this was a real story and not one of the many romances I normally read. Excellent.

4.5