Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies

Pub Date:   |   Archive Date: 27 Apr 2020

Member Reviews

A pretty good book that covers addiction, rough childhoods, and how to move on. Was an interesting read.
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I wish this book would have existed for me in my twenties.  There is a ton of great advice, doled out with a cool, older aunt vibe.  Each chapter contains a theme and examples of how to improve your life. A few habits she suggests are journaling daily, exercising not for weight control but for mental health, and to not be chintzy with yourself- if $6 lilies are going to make your day better, then just do it!  The author's story is compelling; her upbringing forced her to essentially parent herself and through trial and error (and a really good head on her shoulders), she was able to overcome serious trauma.   Learning her story makes her a reliable giver-of-advice. She's been through it and figured out a few tricks along the way to make life better.  As I said, this would have served me better in my twenties (lots of good friend/boyfriend tips), but even as a married middle-aged mom I learned quite a few things that will definitely enhance my life.
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Buy yourself this f*cking book!! Full disclosure, I love this genre, but this book is exceptional in the slef-help memoir category. It is honest, beautiful and at times sad. Schuster shares her experiences in such an authentic way that at times it feels like it was written specifically just for you. 
I have implemented several of her rituals into my own life and have already felt their impact. There are a few moments where she does seem slightly unaware of her own privilege, but it doesn't take away from the overall book and its value. 
One of the best books I have read this year and I hope everyone who needs her words finds a copy in their hands.
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Remarkably good advise/self help book. Geared towards women in their 20s/30s but applicable to all.  Her tone was light and friendly.
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Part memoir, part how to guide, this is a lovely book about the journey to heal yourself and pursue a genuinely happy life. The writing is relaxed and conversational. It's funny, touching, and wonderfully honest. 

Tara's raw honesty in her own stories inspires deep connection with the reader and banishes shame because she reminds us we aren't alone. She covers every aspect of self care, and looks at every realm of her life from her body to home to work to family to dating and friendships. The book is packed full of guidance from Tara based on her own experiences in many forms: there are journaling suggestions, recipes, and strategies for handing everything from your own inner critic to beginning an exercise regimen.

Tara's guidance never feels preachy or forced. Her tone is 100% genuine and it's clear that by writing this book, she is rooting for the reader to transform her own life and experience the same successes and happiness that Tara has found. 

I don't think I'm the intended audience for this book yet I still enjoyed it a great deal and took away many great suggestions. I highlighted a ton of inspiring and funny passages to return to when I'm feeling low. The only thing I didn't care for is that she used abbreviations and hashtags, though I understand why. This book would be ideal for women who are new to the personal development journey or perhaps haven't even started yet. It's geared toward women who are looking for a partner and finding their footing in the work world. Yet it will resonate with any woman who has already gone through these stages. I highly recommend it for readers of memoir and personal development.
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BUY YOURSELF THE F*CKING LILIES by Tara Schuster was incredibly funny, amazingly insightful, yet very sad at the same time. Wow, what a ride she had! Talk about pulling yourself up by the bootstraps. Although at my advanced age I am beyond the need for her right-on advice I still admire her spirit and her ability to overcome such a lack of parenting. I highly recommend this book as a gift to anyone you know who makes excuses for not growing up and taking charge of their lives.
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This book reads like a personal blog.  It was not written to my tastes and some of the narratives felt made-up or overdramatized.

I felt that the author tried really hard to make her parents seem like a villain.  For example, as a five-year-old, she witnessed her parents argue over which R-rated movie to take the children to.  It seemed more than a little far-fetched and even if the authors parents did argue a lot and create some tense situations, labeling it as trauma or abuse is too hard for me wrap my head around.

I wouldn't recommend this book.
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This book is the author's memoir. Through her life experiences, she has learned some valuable lessons that she passes onto readers. While I feel the author's personal experiences gave her an expertise in the subjrect. It would have given her more credibility to include the reference to research to support ideas/claims. 

This was an honest book. Told in a conversational tone, there were many ideas to think about: how you respond, accepting things, writing how you react to mention a few.
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This book fits into two categories in the non-fiction/self help realm.  One, there are at least ten books, currently in book stores, with the F word in the title.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am from New Jersey, and I have the potty mouth to prove it, but honestly I’m over this “shock me with the vulgarity” trend in self help.  There is also a trend of comedians writing books.  For example, Tina Fey wrote a best selling book about her rise to fame.  Amy Poehler wrote an almost identical book, but did it way better than Tina Fey.  Now we have Tara Schuster, Vice President of Talent and Development at Comedy Central, who wrote a book that pales in comparison to the aforementioned books.

I see where Tara was going with this book.  Take time to smell the roses, prioritize self care, listen to your intuition...  but honestly, most of her advice only suits a single woman with an abundance of time and money.  As a wife, mother and business owner, most of her advice would be impossible for me to follow unless I want to prioritize journal writing over keeping my children alive.  Also, as someone who uses medical marijuana to manage PTSD, my hatred for her chapter on giving up weed and replacing it with running, burns hotter than the fire of one thousand suns.  

As a Women’s Health Therapist (my day job), I am proud of Tara for figuring out her path to happiness after a traumatic childhood. I just think this book could have been written as more of a story of her journey, rather than a step by step “must follow these rules to be healthy” self help book.  Although the book is full of some very useful tips and tricks to improve mental and physical well-being, it comes off as a bit pious and holier than thou, which is off putting.
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This was a FUN and HELPFUL read. It is both "self help" and "memoir". I really enjoyed the flow of this book, Tara kept it funny and interesting as well as giving important tips and pointers on what WORKED (for her). I immediately identified with so many things in this book and it kept me glued til the end. A great read, highly recommend. Whether you are going through something or NOT, perhaps you are in a fog and don't even realize why, this book was an eye opener on many things!

Highly recommend!!!
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Okay this one is really a self-help book, not a memoir. I guess I misunderstood the blurb, because I expected more of the latter and less of the former. I don't read self-help books as a rule, they are just not for me. As a result I quickly lost interest in this one and the author's voice just wasn't enough to carry me through...
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This book falls into the category of required reading for all.  Rarely if ever have I read a self help book which combines this much honesty and applicable, effective advice.  
I now have a name for that “voice” - frenemy.  It may not be lilies I purchase or coffees but I won’t feel guilty about the occasional fab restaurant or trainer sesh.  By the time you finish reading, you will feel as if you’ve made a new friend in Tara Schuster.  And no surprise, this will be THE grad, hostess, bday, new mommy,  you name the occasion gift as anyone who reads Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is better for it.   I’m so thankful this crossed my desk & moved straight to my nightstand.  Thank you Tara Schuster for your generous bravery in writing this and may we have more please?
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Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies hit so close to home for me. I had a really similar childhood that I'm still struggling to get past. I can't wait to try out some of the techniques outlined in the book to live a happier life! I'm so glad I had the opportunity to read this book, it's exactly what I needed.
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The book wasn’t what I was expecting, so I didn’t finish it. I think people looking for self-help will enjoy it.
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I just could not get into this book and the author just did not "grab me" as a reader. I read the first few chapters but just could not keep going. The language used was rather basic and just did not lead me to feel compelled to read further. Thank you to NetGalley and to Random House Publishing for the review copy!
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This is essentially a self-help book by way of memoir. There’s a lot of good stuff in here. It’s always helpful to have a reminder to stop the negative thoughts about yourself—like that you’re a failure because you don’t have a boyfriend/the job you want/you aren’t working out or eating well enough and so on. For some of us, giving ourselves pep talks is not our natural state, but Tara reminds us: If your friend were in a similar situation, would you talk to her that way? 

It’s also good to remember to live in an attitude of gratitude for what you do have instead of always wanting what you don’t have.

Taking care of yourself through eating well, not muting our lives with drugs including alcohol, getting enough sleep, and nurturing relationships, makes for a much happier life. 

But here’s what endlessly distracted me from what good stuff is in here: Tara seems to think she’s writing in the language of Tweets or something. I’m pretty sure she took a lot of this from her own journals, and in my journaling, I also use shorthand because ideally, I’m the only one who is ever going to read those pages. Maybe she was trying to seem overly conversational, but she was only having conversations with other Millennials, because those of us who are Gen X or older LEARNED TO WRITE IN COMPLETE SENTENCES BECAUSE THIS IS A BOOK. 

I got an advance copy from NetGalley, so the first couple times I ran across the lowercase “rn,” I thought it was some kind of typo, which happens a lot in advanced reader copies. The third time, from the context, I realized she was trying to say “right now,” and apparently didn’t have the time or space to be clear about this. I’m on social media so I know many shorthand terms, but sometimes, just bothering to write things out makes for actual clear writing, which is a super handy thing when it comes to communicating in written form. 

I identified with a lot of what Tara had to say. The tumultuous childhood she had was nuts. The most nutty thing were the unimaginably cruel voice mails her estranged mother would leave her after her parents separated and the mother took the younger sister, leaving Tara with her Dad. So, even though I’ve had ups and downs with my own mom, it made me appreciate that we do have a good, if not always easy, relationship. 

Thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to review this book, which RELEASES FEBRUARY 18, 2020.
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This is quite funny. Tara is very candid and smart. I'm a little old this probably, as younger folk will likely be the target. But it's still entertaining and potentially helpful (there's advice, etc). As an aside I'm not excited about the trend of 4 letter words in titles (I'm not a prude -- it's just a silly way to get attention), but that's a different matter... Recommended.

I really appreciate the NetGalley advanced copy for review!!
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First of all- GREAT COVER!  I really like in her intro she says "In all things, I let truth, vulnerability, and kindness guide me." That was a great start for me.  Schuster is definitely hilarious and I think everyone can identify with at least one part of her hilarious story.  I definitely found myself saying "yep I've done that" or "that was me" and "me too".  I will be recommending this to everyone I know.  Thank you for the opportunity to read and review this book.
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Tara Schuster’s voice throughout this book is like the best friend you’ve had since childhood: funny, caring, and you know she’ll always tell you the truth.

I had so much fun reading this. I love self-help books and I love the era of humor and honesty that we are entering when it comes to talking about mental health. Authors like Schuster are helping so many people by simply sharing their stories with heart and a good laugh. And a fair amount of cursing which I, for one, happen to enjoy.

I look forward to whatever Schuster writes next.

Thanks to Netgalley for my copy of this eARC in exchange for an honest review!
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Having been on a mental health, self-help kick in my reading preferences, I lean more towards the humorous books that also tell real life examples.  Schuster really opens up about a childhood that many might not consider so bad unless they have lived it.  She details her spiral and her wake=up moments.  While at times it was hard to see the "hilarious" aspects of the book, it was a wonderful tale of how Schuster started on a path to better mental health.  It gives a great step by step advice how what you can do to get yourself on the path to better mental health.  These are relatively easy steps to take that is real self-care and real self-love.  It isn't a sickenly sweet title guiding you to be in love with oneself but one that helps you get on the path to accepting who you are and who you want to be.
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