***Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for providing me with a digital copy of this book in exchange for an honest review***

This was a smart and hilarious look at someone who doesn't have it all together, but is smart enough to fake it. I thoroughly admire Tara Schuster and loved this look into her life.

Enjoyable, practical, and relatable! It essentially comes down to being kind to yourself, indulging in small luxuries, and living your best life. It’s part memoir and part self help. The short chapters were very organized and it was perfect just to read one or two each night.

I was skeptical at first because as a busy mom, sometimes self care can be super hard and some of the suggestions are not conducive when you have a tiny human vying for your attention 24/7. For example, I loved Tara’s suggestion of journaling first thing in the morning. Although I’d have a hard time incorporating this into my daily schedule right now, it’s something I definitely want to try at some point.

I typically take self helpy books with a grain of salt and if I’m able to come away with one or two things to better myself, it’s a win. In this case, I consider it a win.

This self-help/memoir by Tara Schuster is honest and open. But it isn't very funny and Schuster abuses capital letters and italic in her attempts at humor. While her rituals often seem cliche, she outlines ways that are useful to put into practice. Though often these translates into it's ok to spend lots of money because you deserve it. The other issue with the book is that you shouldn't be a slave to things and while this is aimed at weed, drinking, and self-harming things, the author has seemed to become a slave to journaling causing me to ask: is this actual healing or just transferring from one thing to another.
As you can tell I waffle about this book. I keep changing my star rating but I think I am landing right in the middle with three stars. I applaud the author for their honesty but this wasn't a book that helped me much.

I don't know what I expected of this book but it was typical "I think I might be dying so here's all the stuff you should do for yourself even though you're not dying' schlock. It was not the best but it wasn't the worst. If you're really into this kind of drippy stuff, then I say go for it! If not, skip it.

Thanks to @randomhouse, @thedialpress, & @netgalley for the opportunity to read this self-help/memoir hybrid book!

Tara includes many techniques mixed with stories from her life to show how she strengthened her personal, professional, and emotional life. I found the book to be engaging and quite funny! .
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#bookstagram #backinthegame #netgalley #booklove #books #buyyourselfthefuckinglilies #covergamestrong #kindle #kindlefire #selfhelp #memoir

Self help books are always hard for me to get into, so naturally I was skeptical going into this book, but I was pleasantly surprised that Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies was NOT the typical self-help book. Schuster, gives us a mix of true-life struggles with a sprinkle of humor and a dash of steps to get you through those stuff moments. Again, self-help books aren’t my thing, but I would highly recommend this one. Schuster, has some great tips in here.

Thank you, he Dial Press, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, for gifting me this DARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

I really enjoyed this book and ended up bookmarking a lot of the advice to follow later. I feel like the author did a great job giving actual concrete steps for self improvement. I feel like a lot of self help books are very vague and this one was able to give a lot of actual things you can do to improve your mental health and relationships. I would definitely buy this for a friend who I thought might benefit.

The neat thing about this book is that there is something both useful and not useful for everyone who reads it. Many passages/chapters didn't pertain to me, but I still took something away from the book. I love the idea of a clean sink and think I am going to try to incorporate this into my life. I also adore the idea of a brain dump first thing in the morning.

This book may end up being given as Christmas gifts to my sister and sister in law :)

At last, a self-help book with actual self-care ideas! So many books recommend increasing your self-care habits without any concrete suggestions--as if you just know what you like. But when you're feeling drained, it can be hard to think of anything. The fact that this book gives you somewhere to start is helpful, even if you end up deciding some ideas aren't for you.

I don't love the author's use of text-speak (like "rn" for "right now," sometimes more than once on the same page), and I think it will limit the audience more than it needs to, but overall, it was an uplifting and encouraging read. For anyone whose childhood was "not *that* bad" but who still felt the lack of parental love and support, Tara Schuster is your new best friend.

Thanks to the publishers and NetGalley for a digital ARC to produce an unbiased review.

NOTE: I received a free advanced readers copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Part self-help book, part memoir, I fond this book entertaining with some good tidbits. At first I was a bit skeptical because I have a few years on the author, but actually I feel like there are parts where I'd go back to re-read.

I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review. absolutely loved and adored this book! I knew I would based off the cover and description, but I was surprised at how quickly I was drawn into the book and and how much I didn’t want to put it down. The book is so many different things at once without being overwhelming: it’s funny, sad, real, honest, inspiring and really relatable even if you haven’t gone through the same things Tara did. I love her writing style, and I’d highly recommend this book to anyone if you’re feeling a little lost or confused or not quite “adulty” enough.

I did not know much about the author of this book but I picked it based on the title. Tara Schester delivered a part memoir, part self help book. She was really authentic in how she presented herself and the information. I appreciated that she addressed that her struggles were those of the privileged and acknowledged that if you feel that you are struggling, you are, even though you might not have problems as bad as some other people. I appreciated her honesty and will be trying some of the tips in the book in my life. I would recommend it to millennial and others who want a book on how to re-parent yourself. And yes, buy yourself the f*cking lilies or whatever your equivalent is.
Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Publishing for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

On her 25th birthday, Tara Schuster woke up with a terrible hangover and some concerning voicemails after drunk dialing her therapist. That rough morning led her on a journey to "reparent" herself - to provide the loving and supportive environment she never got in her childhood. In this memoir/self help guide, she reminds readers that we're all in this self-love journey together, and no one is perfect. The conversational tone, attainable goals, and widely applicable suggestions of this book make it very readable and helpful. Schuster is funny (duh, she works for Comedy Central!) and down to earth, and she's not afraid to use her own embarrassing stories to make personal growth seem less scary. This is a perfect read for anyone who is too hard on themself, or who has too many toxic relationships in their life, or wants to be more grateful for what they have. So, pretty much anyone.

Thank you for the opportunity to read this. I will be posting a full review to Goodreads, Amazon, and Instagram.

I am really enjoying this book, Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies: and Other Rituals to Fix Your Life from Someone Who has Been There, by Tara Schuster! Tara is an author, playwright, and accomplished entertainment executive, currently serving as Vice President of Talent and Development at Comedy Central. This witty and sad but relatable self-help/memoir tells the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself (her childhood was upper class but intensely emotionally abusive) and becoming a “ninja of self-love. It’s more than just a memoir but her story of her healing process can is insightful and helpful to others! I am loving her perspectives and it reads like you’re having coffee with her! Easy to read and so engaging! Thanks to Netgalley and Random House for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

I had heard the name Tara Schuster, but really didn't know anything about her. I asked for this book based off the title and a recommendation from Sarah's Bookshelves Live. I really liked the inside look on everything she had gone through. Tara has been through some traumatic things, but looks back through it through a lens of humor. Her sprinkles of positivity throughout are inspiring and she provides good steps for trying to reach your goals. I had heard this book described as "A self-help book for people who don't like the glittery, preachy self help books" and I can say that is totally accurate. Next step: Buy a journal.

I’ve always been a fan of the “self help” section. Any moment I can read something and feed even the slightest big inspired to fix some of the things in my life brings me joy; this book did exactly that. It’s one of those books where you feel like Tara is your friend just sharing her story and saying this worked for me. It’s not preachy, it doesn’t leave you feeling bad, in fact it leaves you feeling like you could actually apply these things or at least some of them to your life. From loving yourself to finding your haram of friends, to relationships of all sorts and taking responsibility for your actions; this has it all. In the end you feel motivated and excited to find out what your lilies are!

My favorite books are the ones that feel like the author has pulled out little bits of my heart and poured them onto the page. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is just such a book, and I found myself continually whispering to myself, “Yes, exactly. Yes! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell people for years.”

I probably would have bought this book just based on the title alone, as it contains two of my favorite things: swear words and a command to spoil the shit out of yourself. I was absolutely predisposed to like it based on both of these delightful things, and I wasn’t disappointed. I go through self-help and motivation books like some people go through Netflix shows; if there’s a nugget of wisdom out there that might improve my life in some way, I’m borderline obsessed with finding it.

So many of the author's points resonated with me deeply.

-She’s 100% right about the magic of keeping a gratitude journal. It’ll change your life.
-She’s also 100% right about the magic of sending thank you cards. I’ve been saying for years that the #1 way to pull yourself out of an emotional slump is to do something for someone else. Sending a thank you card is almost zero effort but makes such a huge impact on the recipient.
-Vision boards absolutely do work- right again.

Some of my other favorite highlights from the book:

-The author’s unvarnished honesty about the dangers of self-medicating with drugs, alcohol, and other reality-erasers. This isn’t a take I see very often in material aimed at young women in the prime of their partying years, especially material that’s so very hip and non-preachy.
-The extremely open and matter of fact way the author deals with the subject of mental health struggles and tearing down the stigma around them.
-The author refers to herself as “a thief of good habits” and I wholeheartedly encourage everyone I know to be one, too. Life is complex and you don’t have to figure stuff out on your own. When you see someone absolutely killing it in some area of their life, shamelessly steal their habits and make them your own. It’s not cheating; you’re totally allowed to make your life awesome with other people’s ideas. And Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies has so many good ones that you should totally steal.
-The concept of pronoia, the opposite of paranoia. It means the belief that people are secretly plotting for your well-being. In other words, instead of believing that everyone secretly hates you and wants you to fail, believing that everyone really likes you and wants good things for you. Definitely steal this idea, y’all.

Look for an expanded review soon at AskingLeslie.com.

Tara Schuster is a professional success by any definition. After helping to launch Key & Peele to superstardom, she now serves as Comedy Central’s Vice President of Talent and Development. What people didn’t know is that as she steadily climbed the ranks at work, she was also waging a personal battle with anxiety and depression. In this smart and compelling memoir, Schuster recalls her tumultuous journey with humor, delivering sage advice on how to find your way back to joy along the way.

Tara Schuster is a very accomplished TV exec. She’s the kind of woman you look and think “Damn, I bet she has it all figured out.” Spoiler alert: She doesn’t! Or at least she didn’t. Underneath all the Instagram-worthy success she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. This book, part self-help, part memoir, part chat over drinks with your bestie, is the story of how she got her sh*t together, the book she wished someone had given her when she needed it.

I LOVED this one! I requested it from Net Galley during a really rough time in my life, in a hospital dealing with medical drama, shortly after the death of a close friend with the same health issues as me, & about six months away from my 30th birthday. I’ll be honest. My trajectory and life is very different from the norm. I spent the entirety of my 20s saying I didn’t expect to live to see 30 due to a life-limiting genetic disease. I share this not for pity but to say look, a lot of self help books just don’t seem to apply to me. I’m sure I’m not alone in that thinking. It’s easy for wealthy privileged celebs to recommend all kinds of wild or expensive things all in the sake of self care or betterment but this book isn’t like that at all. You don’t need money to do anything Tara talks about (and in fact, there’s a fantastic section about dealing with financial anxieties and the toxic money behavior we learn from our parents or the society around us). What you do need, is a desire to make real and actionable change and Tara details how, as well as telling you about her experiences doing exactly the things she recommends.

Ultimately, we are all more alike than we are different. Like Tara, I had very neglectful, uninvolved parents. I SO loved and needed her idea of re-parenting yourself. I started working through this book slowly, really taking her words and ideas to heart. I started a gratitude journal (something my therapist kept recommending but I kept scoffing at. Tara, my therapist thanks you!). I made lists of my goals. I re-evaluated my relationship with money and also on treating myself. I especially loved the last section of the book about relationships because I could relate a lot to Tara, that when you learn a warped idea of what love is from your parents, it can really funk up literally every other relationship in your life. But I don’t think you need to come from a problematic family to gain so dang much from this book.

I’ve intentionally written this post in my own natural not so book reviewer-y voice because I couldn’t get over how much Tara talks like me, how much it felt like Tara was talking to & with me. I didn’t know who the flip Tara was when I started the book, but having read it, I feel like she’s my bff and the coach in my head. This is the book for people who don’t feel seen by other self help authors.

If any of this appeals to you or sounds like something you need or want, buy the fucking book!