There is not a single thing I don't love about this book. It's the self-help book that everyone should read. It's no-nonse and completely common-sense in terms of its recommendations. I found myself connecting strongly to Schuster's youth and young adulthood, and I think a lot of patrons will, too. I am definitely buying a couple copies for the library.

This is definitely the kind of "self-help" book I'd gift my friends. It's light, entertaining and actionable.

Author Tara Schuster takes a deep yet lighthearted approach to self care and self improvement. Her main thesis is, essentially, that we treat ourselves in ways that we would never, ever treat our loved ones. We let things slide, often choosing to survive at the lowest possible level instead of choosing to thrive at our most opportune. We accept things as they happen instead of owning the opportunity to change them.

I found Schuster's anecdotes and stories to be heartfelt and entertaining. I appreciated that her message came from a place of both experience and acceptance. She's lived through some traumatic life events and while she didn't dwell on it, she didn't gloss over it either.

The reason I docked this down to three stars is the casual nature of the writing. Schuster's narration style made this book seem more like a long-form essay written for a teen beat publication than a "self-help" book. I'm not sure that the phrases and Twitter-like style she uses will hold up over the test of time and, as a result, I'm not sure I'd want to go back and re-read it to really absorb the messages. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll really remember having read this when looking back a year from now.

3/5 stars

Review posted on goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3186444785

I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review

I will admit right off the bat, I don’t normally read self help books. But who in their life can say they’re perfect and couldn’t use a little work on themselves. I saw this on NetGalley and decided to request it because the premise and the title spoke to me. (As I had just had a bad day last week and bought myself lillies on my way home to cheer myself up- so it seemed kismet). The book is touted as part self help and part memoir and even though I didn’t know who Tara Schuster was, I figured I could still enjoy it.

I did enjoy it... sometimes. She’s brutally honest about her past and how bad her depression had been. It oddly made me feel much better about my life. I liked the ideas/activities (for lack of a better word) to help the reader get themselves into a better head space and get their life back together, even though none of them were revelations, more just helpful.

What I didn’t like was how “informal” the writing in the book was. I’m not sure how best to describe it but maybe this book was written for people in their early 20s because the shorthand texting language was irritating and almost made me give up.

Overall, it wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t great.

Author Tara Schuster shares what works for her in this mix of memoir/self-help book on self-love and self-care.

What struck me from the beginning and throughout the book is Schuster's use of abbreviations that not all (i.e. non-millennials) may be familiar with. If you're writing a book because you feel you have something useful and important to say, the least you can do is write it using full words. OMG! Ur JK RT? No. SRSLY? SRSLY! TBH, IRL words are written out!

Also, some readers may take offense at the abundance of foul language.

I do not doubt that this is way the author normally communicates, which, I suppose, adds to the authenticity of the book. However, I found them to be questionable choices overall.

Despite the above comments, I found the author to have good ideas presented in a "that makes sense" way. I applaud her directness and honesty in allowing readers to view the troublesome parts of her life, and her willingness to share what works for her. There may not be anything new here, but she presents points that deserve revisiting time and again.

Three star review from me.

My thanks to NetGalley and Dial Press for allowing me to read a copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased review. All opinions expressed here are my own.

Thx @NetGalley and @thedialpress for a copy in exchange for my honest review. Releases Feb 18.

I thought this book would be light, fun, affirming of my (relatively) recent realization about the connection between regular self care and good mental health. It is SO much more.

Tara Schuster, a successful exec for Comedy Central (and working with stars like Key&Peele and Jon Stewart) looked to have it all together. On her 25th birthday, amid alcohol and tears she left a vm (a drunk dial, if you will) for her therapist and decided soon thereafter to “re-parent” herself and become a “ninja of self love.”

TBH, my 20-yr old self REALLY needed every bit of this book. From self care to money management to telling your inner demon to shut the F up (and not just telling it, writing it a big LONG “F you” LETTER).

Not that there aren’t some real gems for my 40s self like: make time to journal about life, write 10 things you are grateful for, EVERY day. Stop treating your body like a garbage can. Don’t take everything so personally.

MANY of her suggestions (while uh-mazingly smart & simple) are not super practical for moms. Like, I can’t pop into a fancy bar & enjoy my book and cocktail on the regular. Keep my house “dinner party ready” - haha, snort.

Still, I LOVED and devoured it. So funny and real and on target for good emotional & mental health. There’s lots of F bombs which TBH is not my favorite, but I appreciated that it’s *kinda* in the title so I felt warned.

My mom heart hates what her childhood was like...and has admiration for her intentional efforts. So many have gone thru similar experiences and did not go on to become so successful. She’s an amazing human for coming out the other side so well-adjusted AND for putting this book out there to help others along the way.

Bottom line: Read this book. It’s chock full of sage advice for people of all ages and it’s delivered with an incredibly charming, witty and snarky voice. It’s on par with another I absolutely loved - I MISS YOU WHEN I BLINK - and in the running for one of the best books of the year for me.

I cried when it was over. That is all.

From the very first chapter of Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies, Tara Schuster takes you on a wild ride through her childhood and re-parenting adventure. This is the kind of self-help book that I can get behind 100%. Rather than the stodgy "here is what I have done to become perfect and you should do as well" self-help book, Schuster's work reflects her own struggle as a demonstration for how to rise above the past and move forward into a better and more well-adjusted future.

I enjoyed taking this journey with the author, even when it was painful. By sharing her deepest, darkest regrets and her practiced ways of coping, the author reaches to the heart of what a self-help book should be. She shares her ups and downs and allows the reader to feel good about the fact that we actually aren't all perfect. We may craft rituals around ways of becoming better humans, but being human means we will fall down on the job at times. The true self-help journey requires commitment and the ability to pick yourself up and get on with it by not wallowing in the past but using it to inform a better future for yourself and others.

The book had a few moments of privilege that the author could have self-reflected on a bit, but overall she does a good job of seeing her bias and framing the suggestions in a way that most people can get on board with. I really enjoyed Schuster's humour but would expect nothing less from the vice president of Talent and Development at Comedy Central. Her ability to view herself critically in order to better craft her outcomes was more than admirable.

Overall, I enjoyed this book more than the average self-help tome that I have read in the past few years and think it would be particularly good for people that have had a rough time coping with less than perfect childhood experiences or poor mid-life relationships. Schuster focuses squarely on the ability to 'do the work' oneself and craft rituals as a way to cope with anything that comes one's way. A truly enjoyable and informative read!

A book for the sparsely parented among us, this book aims to help readers "re-parent" themselves. It covers matters such as lessening negative self-talk, seizing opportunities, avoiding leaning on substances, best handling relationships, introducing an exercise program into your life - a wide variety of subjects, at least one of which is destined to speak to a problem that the reader faces.

I really enjoyed the first half of this. The author gives some great recommendations of methods to get yourself out of your own head and into some habits that will help you in the long run. I definitely want to take her up on at least a couple of her suggestions.

I also really liked the "I'm in this with you" tone to the book. Part of it could be defined as a memoir as she takes you through some of her own experiences and, most importantly, what she learned from them. There's a definite "things don't have to be as hard for you as they were for me" kind of sentiment to the book that makes it incredibly relatable and approachable.

However, her language oscillates back and forth between well-crafted thoughts and internet abbreviations. Listen, I'm on Twitter too and use "af" in plenty of text messages but that stuff DOES NOT BELONG IN A BOOK. Authors, stop doing this. It's not cute.

The author probably had little to do with this next part, but the "swear words in the title" trend needs to end. Don't get me wrong, I'm a lover of curse words. I married a man from New Jersey. I'm very used to them. But the novelty of the *dreaded f-word* in the title died back in 2015. All you're doing by going for the shock factor of cursing in the title is guaranteeing your book won't be reviewed anywhere because they can't say or print the title. I'm even reticent to use it on my Booktube channel because people are so touchy about cursing (you should see some of the comments I get to that effect). Stop doing it! It's not even appropriate for this book! It should include the word "re-parent" because that's what this book is and why it'll appeal to readers.

The second half of the book I didn't connect with at all; no one is ever going to convince me to go on HIKES and I've been in a stable relationship since I was seventeen so those chapters just...weren't for me. But again, I think most people will connect with even a piece of this. Despite my gripes, this is probably the best executed self-help book I've ever read.

Self-Help isn't usually a type of book I enjoy, but Tara Schuster includes just the right amount of sass, snark, and personal history to make this a powerfully inspiring memoir. I'm taking some of her tips to heart, to slow down and enjoy, and create space for me. There's no huge life changes or surprises that she suggests, but focuses more on the simple things. And boy, does she nail it!

Schuster keeps it light, and often foul-mouthed, but in the most endearing of ways. She creates a tone in her book that is vulnerable and empowering. Bravo!

This books is a combination of "self help" and "memoir" and contains lots of good advise and humor.
Just remember:
“Above all else: You are worth the lilies. The small, attainable luxury of lilies is not something to stress about, it is not something to deny yourself, it is something to make plans for and embrace. Small things that make you happy ARE a part of taking care of yourself... Seven-dollar lilies won’t ruin you and they won’t make you poor; they will make you stronger....You can’t control how the outside world treats you, but you can and MUST decide how you treat yourself.”*

Buy Yourself the Fucking Lilies is part self-help, part memoir, with some seriously funny and moving parts sprinkled in. Tara Schuster writes about her own journey from existing as a self-medicating, anxious mess to becoming someone with seriously solid self-care routines. I related to Schuster SO much and I really appreciated the lack of preachiness in this book. For me, self-help can toe the line of eye-rolling, but I love how Schuster presented self-care ideas that I felt I could actually try immediately.
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This is one of those books that will inspire you to take action right away; in fact, I kept a note on my phone of ideas to try as I read through the book! We are all worthy of buying the lilies, an idea that Schuster brought home so well. This was my first five star read of 2020, and I’m so glad I gave it a try! Thank you @thedialpress and @netgalley for my advanced readers copy. Buy Yourself the Fucking Lilies will be released on February 18th!

I imagine there are people out there who will get much more out of this book than I did. From the prologue, I found it a bit hard to relate to the author, and the tips were not anything I hadn't heard before from tons of other self-help books.

I must admit I was somewhat skeptical I would get anything out of this book. While the idea of self care is wonderful, I often see people misappropriating the term as a means of justifying mindlessly selfish or downright reckless behavior. As a result, I started the book with a chip on my shoulder. However, by the book's midpoint I had firmly switched teams. I found myself relating deeply to the author's backstory and the places she found herself as a result. Her advice is far from frivolous - it's thoughtful, accessible, and actionable. It truly feels like it's coming from a kind and genuine friend. I'm a convert. I have a feeling you will be, too.

This won't be a 5-star read for everyone, but I think that's true of any self-help book. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is for women (and maybe men) in their 20s and 30s who are messy -- imperfect people trying to sort out their bad habits and bitter resentments. I don't know if this is for every reader, but as a woman in my mid-20s with doubts and fears and anxieties and a complicated family and healthy skepticism of self-help... this is basically my advice bible.

Okay, that's extreme. Tara Schuster is an incredible writer with practical and direct (and yes, explicit) advice based on her own reckonings with emotional baggage over the years. This book is a memoir-slash-guidebook for women (again, men could also like this, but a lot of the advice is female-specific) in that weird post-college age where you're trying to figure everything out and comparing yourself to your way, way more successful peers. What I love about Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is that is cuts through the kind of mysticism that has put me off "self-care rituals" in the past, and it gives very concrete ways to feel better. Admittedly, a lot (most) of her advice centers around journaling. I did not think I was a journal person before reading this, and I am now exploring it thanks to this book.

Some readers will be put off by the candid, millennial-speak writing that the book favors. Some readers will be put off by the language and Tara's openness about self-love and body empowerment. Many other readers, the true audience for this guide, will be drawn to it for those same reasons.

This book is EVERYTHING I wanted “Girl, Wash Your Face” to be. Tara is the funny, self depreciating, foul mouthed, rude or die friend we all need. She has spent half of her 20s and beyond trying to figure out what functioning enlightened adulthood looks like. This book is for anyone who realized their parents did not prepare us for being an adult and wants a blueprint for how to figure it out. Highly recommended.

Free ARC from Netgalley; Opinions are mine.

I read this book while on a girl's trip vacation and literally quoted it the entire time. When she says "unpack as soon as you get home" I knew this book is exactly what I needed in my life. I appreciate that she acknowledges her privilege: private school, Ivy League college, successful career in entertainment, but that doesn't negate her traumatic upbringing. She spent her life in and out of therapy and shares the practical tools that have helped her. Written for a younger audience, and uses a lot of profanity (obviously), but I highly recommend it.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing an advanced copy of this book.

Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is written by Tara Schuster, who wakes up after drunkenly dialing her therapist on her 25th birthday and realizes she needs to change her life. Over the course of several years, Schuster develops self-care and healing processes, which she shares with us in this self-help slash memoir filled with glitter, flowers and washi-tape!

I have a love/hate relationship with self-help books. I usually go into them super optimistic, but by the time I hit the 25% mark, I’m over it. None of the books I’ve read have really applied to a lot of my life and they tend to be unrelatable. I might jot down some relevant quotes, but I never really retain much beyond that. So going into BYtFL with no prior knowledge of Tara Schuster, my expectations were set pretty low. But the cover was pretty and the title was right up my alley, so I figured why not?!

That being said, I really liked this book. Schuster was wicked relatable and wrote in a way that reminded me of my own inner dialogue. Obviously, not everything was geared towards me, but way more pertained to my life than in any other self-help books I’ve read recently. There were a lot of really amazing self-care steps and self-discovery exercises that seemed fun and easy to complete. I can definitely see myself using several of the practices that Schuster has laid out. In fact, I’ve actually already started mapping out and working on a few of them! So if you’d like to be one of my Road Warriors, I’m accepting applications at this time!!

The only negative I had was that the last 25% of the book dragged. It might have been because it was focusing on Tara’s relationship issues with family and with love, and I’ve been wicked fortunate in both of these areas. Which is absolutely not something to blame on the book. Just because the advice and circumstances weren’t relevant to me, does not for one second mean that they wouldn’t be relevant to other people, but it made the last quarter of the read seem way less interesting and meaningful for me.

Self-help books aren’t for everyone. And Schuster’s experiences won’t be relatable to everyone. But if you enjoy reading memoirs and self-help practices, I’d definitely recommend this one! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go buy myself some freaking lilies!

As a memoir, I think I would have better enjoyed this one. But as a pseudo self-help-type book, it really missed the mark.

Growing up in a rocky household with parents who later divorced, becoming a self-proclaimed "party girl," and then working through her issues and later landing a pretty high up job with Comedy Central is the gist of the author's life. Her self-help tips aren't anything new or revolutionary, and a lot of her experiences (especially interactions with friends that led to her "growth") come off as weirdly dramatized for the sake of making a point.

She also makes self care seem a bit too simple. "I'm sad so I called a friend who lives in Tokyo who told me to come visit her and so I did and wow seeing the world really changed my life and I think you should do the same" or "One day I felt bad about myself and then the next day I bought an unlimited pass to a meditation studio and now my life is changed" (I'm definitely paraphrasing here).

A lot of the book comes off a bit elitist, to be honest. And the language she implores, like the overuse of the word "fuck" (which I realize is so ~*trendy*~ in self-help books now), and "supz" instead of super, "v" for very, was just a bit much for me. It stopped being cute about halfway in and started feeling like a desperate way to appear hip and cool and connect to the younger generation. Same goes for how often she felt the need to mention she used to do coke and smoke weed. Like, maybe she mentioned it so often as a contrast to how much "better" she is now, but it started to feel more like she wanted to prove how cool she was? I don't know. I really wanted to like this one, but the more I read it, the more frustrated I found myself getting with it. I'm sure Tara is a cool person with great things to say - I just wish she hadn't presented it to everyone as self care.

NetGalley provided me with an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This was an engaging read that covered a multitude of topics that essentially all relate to "living your best life'. I enjoyed Schuster's narrative voice - millenials everywhere will identify with many of her struggles and victories, and surely take away a least a handful of practical ways to improve their day-to-day lives.

I was not aware and still am not at all sure what the authors' credentials are, comedian, author or executive? I found it difficult to follow, as it seems to be somewhat autobiographical and self help and comedy central all in one. Too much flight of ideas to my taste so I really couldn't get into the book. The title implies just a fun book, but it is overkill. I think one might enjoy it more as an audio book, as it reads like one liners from a comedian. Not my cup of tea, sorry to say.
I received this book as a complimentary copy for an unbiased review.The opinions expressed are my own.

I want to thank Random House Publishing and Netgalley for an advanced copy in an exchange for my honest review.
Tara wrote a very honest and self disclosing book about her own struggles and her personal growth that she shares in her book for others. She has concrete tools such as keeping a gratitude diary, self care suggestions, and relationship advice.
A very fun and positive read.