Cover Image: Notes on a Silencing

Notes on a Silencing

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Member Reviews

This one hit very close to home, literally and figuratively. The is an incredibly powerful book that brings out a lot of emotions. I had to put it down several times because of my own personal experiences, but I’m glad I pushed through. I definitely recommend this to fans of memoirs.

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What telling of a survivor’s story will finally force a reckoning? Notes on a Silencing, the memoir by Lacy Crawford, unfolds the story of a young girl’s decades of struggle— mental, emotional, physical— after her brutal assault at an elite prep school. Crawford’s voice is compelling- unnerving in its honesty and wisdom, unwavering in her efforts to finally be heard and believed. A moving testament.

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As a sexual assault survivor this was a challenging, but necessary, read. Well written and hold the reader, taking us through the entire journey. I am grateful this book is in the world.

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Wow! When I first decided I wanted to read this book, I somehow missed that it was a memoir. I was expecting a dark, twisty novel in the same vein as My Dark Vanessa. Boy, was I wrong. But boy, was this a good book!

This book is, in fact, Lacy Crawford's own story of sexual assault she experienced on campus at an elite boarding school when she was 15. It highlights the struggles that victims of sexual abuse often go through when trying to move on with their lives. If they don't tell soon enough, nothing can be done. If they do tell, will anyone believe them? What was the girl doing that made the boys act like that? Lacy wrestles with all of these and more as she recounts what happened, years later. She goes through what happened, her feelings behind it, the betrayal of the school, and the life-long effects that this one act had on her worth.

Highly recommend, but beware of trigger warnings.

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This is an excellently written book about a terrible, heartbreaking true story that is difficult to read, but important to bring to light. Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing this ARC for review.

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Notes on a Silencing was a very gripping book and a story that I am glad was told. Lacy Crawford is an incredible writer and I read the book in one sitting as I was so drawn to her story. I was excited to see that her novel was named one of the 100 best books log 2020 by The New York Times. Books like Crawford’s are very important to read and be talked about. Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the ARC.

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A powerful and devastating memoir of horrendous sexual assault and the long-term trauma that results. Early in her years at an elite boarding school in New Hampshire, Lacy is violently assaulted by 2 older boys. The book begins with a graphic description of the assault.

She tries to survive and grow as a teen with the lingering trauma as it manifests as excruciating pain and illness, a ruined reputation as she is socially shunned, and courts abuse as a result of the initial experience. There is some discourse about societal shame thrust upon women victims who are silenced but most of the story is Lacy's. The latter section of the book involves attempting to hold the school responsible for the many sexual assaults and rapes they covered up and never addressed, which ultimately was not successful.

Very sad, very frightening, and a very real and honest portrayal of how woman are made out to be the perpetrators of their own victimhood, and silenced when they speak up in their own name.

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"Notes on a Silencing" by Lacy Crawford is a stunning, provocative, emotive memoir. Seriously. I devoured the audio and print book in only 8 hours. It is unputdownable!

This is must-read, especially for book clubs as there is much to unpack and discuss. I will be thinking about Lacy Crawford and her traumatic time at boarding school for a long, long time. And I definitely want to connect with other readers to discuss their thoughts.

Parents, educators, doctors and therapists need to read this book. It will help us all to relate to victims of sexual abuse, sexual violence and rape in a much more meaningful way. I very much appreciate Lacy's honesty and for putting herself out there...especially knowing that her children might read this someday. Just. Wow!

5 big, bright stars!

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This was a heartbreakingly true story that reminded me of the drama Unbelievable. I felt for the author and the pain that she must have endured at the hands of her silencers. At times the story lingered on events that were not related to the main topic and it slowed the pace of my reading down as well as my interest. I think this could have been condensed a bit and more focused. I am glad she was able to share her story and hope that it helps others that may be in a similar situation.

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This book made me question things I thought and believed.

Lacy Crawford was sexually assaulted at a boarding school in New Hampshire and the school covered it up. She contracted a serious STD from the incident and was never told, although the school doctors knew.

I was not surprised, not by the assault nor the coverup and this made me question why I have accepted things like that in the past and how I need to change my thinking and hope that the rest of our society does as well.

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A heartbreaking and important memoir about sexual violence at a boarding school, and the equal violence done to the victim by the school’s cover-up.

This story begins with the brutal assault, and then works back from the beginning to put Lacy’s rape in the context of the powerful, abusive and silencing environment of her prep school. Crawford writes beautifully about an ugly experience and your heart hurts for the girl who went through it. At the same time you will marvel at how strong and brave it was of her years later to write such a searing account that shows the true faces of not only of the boys who did this to her, but if a school who knew about this assault and others like it, and protected the perpetrators and silenced the victims for decades.

Since #MeToo, there have been a number of books (both memoir and fictionalized) on this topic, and it’s striking and sad how different each one is, and yet also how many similarities they share. This book is exceptionally powerful, personal and well-written. Even if you have fatigue on this subject (to which I say: let’s not, until we can stop it from happening to anyone ever again) this book is an exceptional memoir and an extremely important one. I’m very sure it will help a lot of women and girls to read. Though I find it hard at times to read books like this, I consider it important. As we’ve recently learned from #MeToo, many, many women have experienced some degree of harassment or violation in their lives. With this book, though at times painful to read, I cared so much for Lacy and understood her so well that I wanted a positive outcome for her so badly, and her compelling and honest voice kept me turning the pages. The way the book put this in context of the Kavanaugh hearings at the end was perfect and almost too much to bear.

Many thanks to NetGalley, Little, Brown and Lacy Crawford for the ARC of this excellent book.

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Thank you Net Galley for the free ARC. Report about how a New Hampshire prep school covered up years of sexual misconduct and rape. Disgraceful school leaders, they should be imprisoned and shut down.

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Notes on a Silencing is a powerful memoir about a girl living through a sexual assault and not feeling she could speak up about it for some time. This book describes the "hush hush" mentality regarding matters such as this among prestigious institutions. Lacy Crawford demonstrates great bravery and candidness in relaying this horrific event in her life.

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This book is so sad and disturbing as it sheds light on a boarding school in New Hampshire on the culture of the school towards women. Taking place over twenty years before Chessy Prout's experience in I Have a Right To, seemingly nothing has changed. Lacy Crawford is brutally honest about what happened, both to her and by her. It is heart wrenching and horrible, Lacy's teenage voice is heard throughout the book, which makes it all the more real. It makes the reader wonder how many of these books will it take until it stops?

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An account of sexual assault that goes beyond a critique of the systemic ways in which sexual assault remains unaddressed by turning to questions of class (upper class), gender, and identity. A brilliantly written exploration of what it means to be on the margins and the performance of everyday girlhood.

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As you may have guessed from the synopsis of this book, this is a very heavy book. However, I do think Crawford dealt with the very heavy subject matter gracefully, getting her story and points across in a nuanced way. The emotions in this book were raw. I am glad Crawford finally felt comfortable revealing her story because what happened to her needs more attention drawn to it. The horror that the school put her through is despicable and needs to be known to the world.

In addition, I liked how much Crawford talked about her mental health. I found her feelings with her depression to be very relatable. Her strive to be perfect and not make a fuss is something I have dealt with in the past, and it was validating to me to see her standing up for herself and where she has gone with it.

I would recommend this book if you are comfortable reading a book with heavier topics and want to know more about the abuses of power in academia.

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I don't love campus novels, but Notes on a Silencing is an exception. This is a book that was hard to read, but impossible to put down. It is such an important topic, and I think everyone should pick this book up.

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Notes on a Silencing by Lacy Crawford

A naive young girl barely old enough to start her menstrual cycle is sent thousand miles away to a prestigious boarding school where she is assaulted by two adult 18 year old men and the assault does not end in the room where it occurred!
This is a true story and the sad fact is that as the author points out this type of behavior happens time and time again all across the nation in colleges and high schools. Her assault is not an isolated event!
The torture of being raped and she may not have been raped by intercourse but she was raped by the injustice of the system at the school, St.Pauls and by the medical system and the criminal justice system and her own peers.
But, what’s even more devastating to me is the lack of support and emotional support from her own parents! Her parents should have pulled her from that school regardless of what they thought it could do for them or her as far as political connections! My goodness this is your child and you are allowing a school to tell you that your daughter has loose morals when you know that is a lie! How can you allow a man you barely know say things about your family when she is telling you differently! I realize that critical medical information was withheld, but I would believe my daughter over two boys that I do not know what kind of animals would do that type of perversion to a child!
These _boys__ could not be content with keeping what they did to themselves, oh no they had to brag about their perversion to others. So, needless to say girls started to talk about her and would alienate her from activities. Other boys made suggestive innuendos about sexual relations with her!
Then the school raked her over the coals and instead of being the protector and advocate for her as they should have as an Educational system, they blamed her and made her feel isolated!
Years later the author found out that the school withheld important medical information from her parents and her local pediatrician just so they could protect their reputations as a fine educational program and to insure that those nice fine upstanding predators who perpetrated an act of violence on a child were free to do it to others!
Lacy Crawford may not have been able to put these two men behind bars or sue the school, but she is having her defining moment!! She is no longer being silenced! This situation I am sure after years of retelling and reliving might have desensitized a person, but in reading this book, she is anything but that!! She lived this horrific event made even more hellacious because of the officials at St.Paul’s School ! However, she became stronger and has a loving husband and two beautiful children! Before opening up this can of worms by writing this book, she asked her husband first! His response was “Burn it down!” I love this man! He obviously is very supportive and the kind of person that she so deserves after the nightmare that she has had to endure!
This book is highly recommended and one minute you will feel anger and tearful and joy even! I hope the author continues to write other books because she has a cohesive flair in creating a storyline! I would love to see even something that is not based on her life but maybe a romance because I think she has the talent for writing!
I received a advanced copy from netgally and I am willingly giving my thoughts and opinions!!!

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Heartbreaking emotionally moving.Lucy Crawford sexually assaulted by two student athletes at the prestigious academy she attended.Reading her story the aftermath the school’s reaction the bravery it took to speak to write this book.A story her story that is hard to read hard to imagine how this brave young woman survived and was able to share her gut wrenching story.#netgalley#littlebrown

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Heartbreaking and riveting. This is a very hard read for anyone who has lived through a similar situation (“triggering” as the young say), but completely enthralling. Crawford’s honesty was brave and impactful.

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