This book tugged at my heart when Lane's husband dies in a car crash and has a mystery woman in the car with him as well, her husband causing the crash by hitting the other car and killing them as well.
Lane is now left to raise their six-year-old son alone.

After her husband, Aaron's funeral Henry stops talking to everyone but Lane. This story was at times hard to read it is about loss, grief, and learning how to move on. Henry is such a sweet little boy who will never really know his father. I was on a wild rollercoaster ride of emotions, when I found out why Henry quit speaking to others I couldn't help but shed some tears.

3 Stars for Rules for Moving out 5/19/20.

As an advice columnist, Lane likes to retreat in the lives of her readers. When tragedy strikes, she realizes she can no longer hide away in her work and continue to ignore the issues in her life that need to be addressed.

Nancy Star takes us on a journey with Lane and her son as they deal with circumstances most of us cannot imagine. Picking things up and starting over doesn't fix everything, as it seemed to do when Lane was growing up.

I gave this one 3 stars because it was a relatively easy read but it just didn't grab me. It seemed predictable, besides at the very beginning and I kept waiting for things to turn. But, that could just be the thriller/suspense lover in me.

The character development was so-so. I felt like I could understand Lane and even her son, Henry. My heart went out to her in the very beginning and I rallied for her. From a literary sense though, I didn't feel like I was committed to seeing them through and wasn't surprised with how things turned out in the end.

Thank you to Lake Union Publishing and Netgalley for the chance to dive into Rules for Moving before everyone else. I am so thankful to have an abundance of books during this trying time, to keep me busy and allow me to escape.

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Lane Meckler is the author of the "Ask Roxie" column, answering questions from readers about all types of problems. But in reality Lane is falling apart - while in the process of divorcing her husband, he dies in a car accident and their young son Henry stops speaking to everyone but her. Lane is a wreck, trying to protect her son and help him get his voice back. She falls back on what she has known as a child - whenever there was a problem, the Mecklers moved. Lane and her son pack up and move to a new town and when they don't find the answers they need, they quickly move again.

I enjoyed this book. Lane is someone who many people can relate to, when her live is falling apart she is trying to keep up appearances that everything is okay. As she tries to help Henry regain his voice, she has to confront issues from her own past as well. This book looks at many incarnations of grief and was an enjoyable read.

Her neighbors house on Applegate road won't sell. The previous owner Lane is married with a young son who doesn't speak. She writes an advice coloumn.

​This was an ok book for me, I only gave it three stars. There was just a lot going on. It felt like the author wanted to include so many issues, and as a result just mishmashes them all together without really exploring any. I wish she had just focused on Aaron's death and it's effects on Lane and Henry. Lane also really bothered me, I get bring introverted but man, she really had her head in the sand and focused on all the wrong details a lot. And then she would make decisions her character would never make and Star would acknowledge it but be like oh well she made a random decision, and we as readers all know it was just needed for plot movement. If the character doesn't fit the plot, maybe adjust the character?

Lane is an advice columnist, whose home life could use a dose of her own advice. Her marriage is on the brink, but when her husband is killed in a car accident, she is left to pick up the pieces and care for her young son Henry. Lane and Henry pack up and move to New Jersey. They plan a visit to her parents house in Florida, but after an incident there Henry suddenly stops talking to anyone but Lane. A story of grief, family relationships, and the things we don't always say.

For me, I couldn't quite figure out where the author wanted to go with this story. There seemed to be too much packed into one story, and at times it had elements of a thriller, but at other times I just had no clue. There were several events in the book, I thought would play an important role in the story, but then they just got left unanswered. I felt absolutely no connection to these characters, and other than Henry I had a hard time liking any of them. I am glad I stuck this one out as the last quarter was the best part and redeemed the story a tad.

Overall, I felt like I was missing something with this one. I could see how it would provide for an interesting book club selection though because it would be sure to spark discussion. Other than that, this isn't a book I could see myself recommending.

Thank you to Lake Union Publishing for providing me with an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

The premise of this book was so intriguing, a woman and her son starting over, and facing many challenges and setbacks as they heal after her husband is killed. Henry, the little boy, was a very touching character. Sadly, I didn’t feel as emotionally invested in the other characters, which was disappointing.

Grief is a difficult subject for a book but in the beautiful and eloquent Rules for Moving, author Nancy Star tackles the difficult topic with a deft hand.
If anyone is going to have all of life's answers on hand, it should be advice columnist Lane Meckler, beloved by the masses who rely on her for compassionate yet no nonsense advice and solutions , but in reality she is no wiser than anyone else and is facing plenty of problems in her personal life, including a husband that she has decided to separate from. All her plans are thrown awry by tragedy when he is killed in a car accident, and their son is so traumatised that he stops speaking to everyone but Lane. Desperate to help her son she falls back on old family habits and decides to up sticks and move , something her own family did regularly while she was growing up. She manages to rent a house in New Jersey and starts to try to help her little boy find his way, but soon learns that she needs to regain her own voice, both personally and professionally before she can help her son to find his.
This book is something of an emotional roller coaster, and it deals with emotions that, unfortunately, something that most people will have to deal with at some point in their life. The author's depiction of grief in its many forms is nuanced but the central message that you can run from grief but you cannot hide from it is a strong on. The layering of several generations of family stories adds a nice extra dimension to the book and really added to my understanding of Lane's character.
I read and reviewed an ARC courtesy of NetGalley and the publisher, all opinions are my own,

This is a beautifully slow book. I was swept away in the story of Lane and Henry as they navigated their way through the shock and grief of losing Aaron, Henry's father.

While Lane is being a supportive mother to her son, she is also dealing with her own battles. The battles of buried childhood trauma, the battles of difficult family conversations and the battles of deciding between dredging something up from the past or keeping quiet because things that should have been said were instead buried deep in that family chest of unspoken moments.

My favourite part of the book were the chapters from little Henry's perspective. All the characters were well written but I felt drawn to his the most because of his endearing mannerisms and the child-like narration that Nancy Star wrote from for him. I also felt that out of all the characters, he really was the best listener as he listened to understand; picking up cues from others' body language and not just the words they were saying.

One of the themes that spoke to me throughout was miscommunication. It's so easy to misconstrue what someone else is saying or trying to say especially when we listen to respond when instead we should take a leaf out of six year old Henry's book and listen to understand. The second theme was truth. We all base our truths on our version of events which makes me wonder how reliable the truth can actually be. But without miscommunication, there is room for truth to become a point of shared understanding rather than a solo trip.

This is a slow read. I purposely read it slowly so I could enjoy each part. There is no crazy plot twist but there is a lot of character development. Star worked hard at that and it shows because this book is all about the growth of Henry, Lisa and their family.

I liked the premise of the book but struggled to read it at the beginning and the end. I loved the middle but at the end I found myself wanting to hurry to finish it.

I had trouble relating to the characters. Lane’s family seemed out of place in the book and I had a hard time making sense of their part of the story.

I really wanted to like this book, and enjoyed the story line of mother and son finding their way through grief. There were just too many story lines and family problems and felt disconnected and jumbled in. I would encourage other readers to pick up this book, maybe even for a book club since there is a lot to discuss, I just don’t feel like it was right for me.

Thank you to Netgalley and the Publisher for this early copy! I will be checking out more from Nancy Star in the future!

The protagonist, Lane, was a well known (and syndicated?) advice columnist. Each chapter featured letters asking for her help along with her answers to be published. This, alone, would have been sufficient confirmation of the excessive wording and repetitiveness of the wording in this novel. One response to one letter was FOUR PAGES in the book! I can’t imagine how many column inches that would have been in a newspaper! All of the letters were long and all of the answers were VERY long. Certainly not what most papers would allot to advice columnists.

But that was the way the book was written – lots and lots of over-the-top talk and explanations, lots and lots of pages devoted to back story, lots and lots of pages devoted to how totally disinterested Lane was in everything and everybody except herself and her own dysfunctional family.

After 30% I gave up.

I appreciate this ARC from NetGalley and the publisher, Lake Union, and wish the best for its success.

It was so so book to read but enjoyed it..

It was very different things in that book..wasn’t very keen into this..

Thanks to Netgalley for the advanced copy...

Get your hankies ready! (Honk!!!) Excuse me, that's me blowing my nose. This book is an endearing, feathered of a book. I found myself reading as tears rolled down my face.

Lane's job is giving advice to other people with disastrous lives, but she's dealing with a disastrous life of her own. It seems her husband has physically and emotionally left the marriage, but dies in a car accident driving with the other woman. Lane is a mess but tries to hold it together for her precious son, Henry. Six years old and hasn't spoken since his father died.

Lane packs up and moves her self and Henry to NJ, where the place she rents is in desperate need of repairs. Feeling bad, the landlord let's Lane and Henry live on Marta's Vineyard in another residence while the NJ (why am I not surprised here) residence is being repaired. Here, Lane begins to go through a gamut of emotions, healing, grief, self discovery, etc. But Henry, still not speaking is the star. Oooh I just want to cuddle him, he's so adorable. When we finally find out about his silence, he becomes more endearing, if that's possible. I adore him!

This book made me feel so emotional, I most definitely recommend it. Great book and since I've read other essays by Nancy Star, I am looking forward to future works. 4 stars!


Special Thanks to Lake Union Publishing and NetGalley for my ARC of this book.

This book wasn‘t at all what I expected, but re-reading the blurb I think that‘s my fault! Lane‘s husband dies in a freak accident and she has to find a way to continue forwards with her six year old son, who has stopped speaking.

I imagined this would be about the hows and whys of the accident but instead it‘s an exploration of how family and their actions can shape us for the rest of our lives.

It felt to me a little bit like a more conventional, gentler, version of Attenberg's 'All this could be yours', and that isn't intended as a criticism or damning with faint praise. I think I actually enjoyed this book more - it was quirky enough to be interesting and not too eccentric; it felt like real life.

*Thank you to Lake Union Publishing and Nancy Star for allowing me to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review*

This book mostly just confused me. I think it as a case of the author trying to fit to many these into one story. There was potential from the start but it just never quite all gelled together. I enjoyed the advice column letters at the start of each chapter and Henry was adorable. I wanted to really like this story but it all just fell short.

Thanks to Netgalley and Lake Union Publishing for the ARC in exchange of an honest review.
This book was cute and sweet. It's about secrets, family and learning who you really are.
Some of the characters are somewhat strange. All thru the book I kept thinking Lanes mom and dad were maybe on the spectrum but the end of the book finally let's you in on why they act the way they do.
I liked this book ok. It really did not reel me in like I thought it would. I had no trouble finishing it but I thought I would like it much better than I did. Could just be me though.

Thank you to Net Galley and Lake Union Publishing for the chance to read and review this book.
I didn't really care for this book. I read about 60% of it, waiting for it to get better, but it just didn't. It was kind of a gloomy, depressing story. I tried to like it, but the story just seemed filled with negativity. There was just too many story lines-hard to follow.

This was a great novel that offers escape! I enjoyed reading about Lane and Henry, a mother/son duo who work to survive their new life after their husband and father passes away in an accident. After a visit to Henry's grandparent's home, Henry stops speaking to almost everyone. Everyone thinks it is grief that holds Henry's voice hostage, but perhaps it is something else? By moving to a new area, cultivating new friendships, and mending family ties, Henry's voice wants to return.

Thank you, NetGalley for an advanced copy of this novel.