I discovered Caroline Leavitt several years ago when I read Is This Tomorrow. I haven't picked up any of her books in the intervening years, but I always remember that it was a profound read. When I saw With or Without You at NetGalley, I decided it was time to add more Leavitt to my reading. I was not disappointed.

With or Without You is a deep-dive into the human psyche and how our desires shape our relationships.

The story revolves mainly around Stella, Simon, and Stella's friend Libby. Stella and Simon's 20-year relationship is in trouble. What once held them together is starting to crack and crumble. Simon is still chasing the rockstar dream he's had since he was a child. Stella is ready to be a "grown up"; she wants to buy their apartment and maybe have a child. The tipping point comes as Simon is on the cusp of something big and Stella doesn't want to travel with him like she did when they were younger. In hopes of reconnecting, and stop the argument they seemed to be always having, Stella agrees to take the little pill Simon offers her. And life for both of them is changed forever.

While there is some tension around whether Stella will awake from her coma, the story is really character-driven as we see the changes that occur in Simon, Stella, and Libby - changes in their feelings, desires, and who they thought they were.

On the surface, there was a number of things I didn't like and if I was looking for a surface read I probably wouldn't have continued reading it after the first few chapters.

In a lot of ways, these three characters are the same. They came from rocky childhoods where they didn't feel like they were loved by their parents and thus always chasing acceptance and approval. I would have preferred that they didn't all have parent-issues and I think it is the reason I didn't really connect with the characters. I felt sorry for the characters but I kind of wanted to shout at them "get over it". Thankfully, by the end, all three of them were able to come to terms with their pasts.

Another plot point was predictable. I knew it was going to happen and I was disappointed in the characters' choices that led to it.

I can't really say I enjoyed this story. I don't think "being an enjoyable read" is the actual goal of this story. I think it is meant to make you think and it accomplished that. I wasn't looking for a surface read that was only meant to entertain. I wanted something deeper, and having experienced similar feelings with Is This Tomorrow, I knew that if I stuck with it that I would get what I was looking for.

Having three characters with similar backgrounds provided opportunities to see how our choices affect our lives. Even the predictable plot point gave food for thought and I wondered about life-long commitment and love.

I think With or Without You would make for an excellent book club discussion. There is a lot to unpack in this novel from Stella's coma-induced personality changes to why are you willing to make changes in your life to please one person but don't for another to child perceptions of events and relationships to is it right to keep secrets if you think it is in the best interest of another person.

My review will be published on Friday, August 14 at Girl Who Reads - https://www.girl-who-reads.com/2020/08/with-or-without-you-by-caroline-leavitt.html

Thanks to Netgalley and Algonquin books for the early copy of this one.

After many years together, Stella and Simon are coming to a bit of a crossroads. Simon wants to move to California in order to make it big with his music career. Stella wants to settle down and work as a nurse and start a family. She’s tired of traveling with a band.

Then an unfortunate incident happens and Stella is in a coma and Simon has to change his plans. As he gets to know the doctor and friend of Stella, Libby, things get complicated as Stella heals.

This was an interesting story and I really enjoyed it! Unique premise to take on.

Lyrically written and characters I cared about. This was a story that made me cry. After finding out that the author herself has a brain injury and was in a coma I reread parts. Really enjoyed

I liked this story of finding yourself again after a traumatic experience and how that impacts a relationship. Things can change in an instant.

I enjoyed this read, but did find the pacing to be uneven. Stella goes into a coma and comes out a different person; her recovery and how it affects those close to her is compelling. I got through the lulls and overall it was a unique novel.

This novel was beautifully written. It has a haunting, ethereal quality to it at times. Initially, we are introduced to Stella and Simon, a couple with a rich history of love. She is a nurse with a fulfilling career. Simon is a songwriter and musician who has had a brief flirtation with fame along with his band and is craving even more success and infamy. I am not giving anything away when referring to the fact that Stella ends up in a coma early in the book. The reader becomes familiar with other characters; best friend and doctor, Libby, mother Bette and a few other minor characters. There is seamless character development in the central characters of this novel. Themes of love, friendship, old wounds, family, career paths, life choices and discovering who we are meant to be. Although it is not immediately evident, each character is broken in some way, no matter how successful they may appear to the world. The reader experiences some of Stella's thoughts and feelings while she is in a coma. When she awakes, she struggles deeply to re-enter her old life. Those who love her work hard to both protect her and make room for and understand this new version of Stella. You will need to read With or Without You to learn more about the future of Stella and those around her. Thank you to @NetGalley, @algonquinbooks and the author for the free ARC in exchange for an honest review. I was also thrilled to be part of the blog tour for this wonderful book. #goodreads #netgalley #withorwithoutyou #algonquinbooks #carolineleavitt #booksandmrdarcy #bookstagram #withhernosestuckinabook❤️📚

Stella and Simon have been together for 20 years their relationship seemed to be going in different direction then one night it all changes.
Stella ends up in a coma for several months when she wakes up she is totally changed.
The brain is the most mysterious part of the body and cannot explain why some people change and other don’t.
In the end they fulfilment in their lives.
I want to thank NetGalley, Algonquin Books and Caroline Leavitt for this invitation to this Blog Tour with this free arc in exchange of an honest review

Thank you Algonquin for a complimentary copy. I voluntarily reviewed this book. All opinions expressed are my own.

With Or Without You
By: Caroline Leavitt

REVIEW ☆☆☆☆

With Or Without You by Caroline Leavitt is the type of story that slaps you across the face, for me at least. It's like a loud ringing bell that draws attention to something important. I'm in my early forties, married for twenty years and see parts of myself in this story. Simon and Stella were different people when they met twenty years ago, and change is inevitable. They are quietly unnoticed, these disparate dreams, until one day you wake up and think, "How did I end up here?". Dreams and goals morph into different things both expected and unexpected. We change as people, too, but it's easier to pretend everything is the same. Embracing change is scary, and some of us, if we're really honest, don't want the same spouse or house or job or lifestyle. But, being authentic seems impossible because it would mean hurting others and tearing apart all you have built together. Stella is different, not by choice, but wasn't she desperate for a change? Stella deserved better, and in an unconventional manner, the universe set her free from the patterns and mindset that tethered her to an unfulfilling life for so long. Simon is far behind her, but he has been for a while. I wish maturity for him, but it's too late for that. He is set free as well. Libby is a thorn, and I didn't care for her. She felt like a violation of some kind, like a piece that did not fit. This story is really beautiful but almost incomprehensible because of the truths no one wants to admit about dreams long gone and dreams held new and now. Do the recesses of the mind, the deeply buried doubts and hope, manifest in reality?I love this book, despite the heartache I felt at times, because it reminds me to remember who I was, who I am and where I'm going. Take some time out to read this gem.

This book was super enjoyable and filled with twists and turns.

I would recommend this to anyone who enjoys literary fiction

The author is able to capture the shift in a relationship when one person changes (though suddenly in this book). The journey of figuring out what each person wants is relatable. The intimate writing makes this a must read!

This is a story that evolves around a relationship between 3 main characters. There is Stella, the trustworthy RN who is in a live-in relationship with her partner, Simon, who is a musician. Early in their relationship, everything revolved around Simon's career and touring with his band. As they have matured together, he is itching to go back out on tour and Stella is longing to have a baby. They are having a massive discussion around these topics when they decide to drink and party. The following morning, after having decided nothing, Simon finds Stella unresponsive. He rushes her to the hospital and her best friend is the doctor that takes care of her. As the story evolves, we get to hear the POV of each of these main characters and their interactions with each other and the world around them.
I enjoyed the POV from Stella the best because it seemed the most creative and insightful, as well as challenging to write. Her entire story arc is engaging. All three are unique and captivating in their own way.
I think my hesitation in giving this a full 5 stars was the essential problem that seemed to hold all the characters back in their lives, a lack of understanding and communication with their own families. Although it was interesting to see the backstory and how misunderstandings were a huge part of what shaped these characters, it was frustrating for them to make so many decisions through avoidance rather than engagement, but then the story is wrapped up a little too neatly anyway. It felt to me like the character traits that lead someone to make poor decisions throughout their lives are not the sort of thing that magically disappear as a behavior pattern once there are more facts out in the open. This did not feel completely realistic to me.

I do recommend this as a completely enjoyable and relationship based novel.

#WithOrWithoutYou #Netgalley #AlgonquinBooks

“After almost twenty years together, Stella and Simon are starting to run into problems. An up-and-coming rock musician when they first met, Simon has been clinging to dreams of fame even as the possibility of it has grown dimmer, and now that his band might finally be on the brink again, he wants to go on the road, leaving Stella behind. But when she falls into a coma on the eve of his departure, he has to make a choice between stardom and his wife—and when she wakes a different person, with an incredible artistic talent of her own, the two of them must examine what it is that they really want.”

This story was heartbreaking! Watching Stella and Simon falling apart and then their relationship being suspended while Stella was in a coma was so sad. I did like how that wasn’t the focus of the whole book, though, and how the whole second half of the book follows what happens after (no spoilers!). I really enjoyed the chapters from Stella’s point of view as she was in the coma. This was definitely a more serious story about relationships, and the struggle between following your dreams and those of the person you love.

Read if you like
🎸Relationship struggles
🎸Flawed characters
🎸Plot twists
🎸Multiple POV
🎸Slow-burn books

One of the things I love about this book is it is about adults. The three main characters are in their forties and are dealing with real issues, regrets, life compromises and overcoming tragedies.

Stella is a dedicated nurse who has been with her rock and roll guitar playing boyfriend Simon for over 20 years. The morning they are suppose to leave for a life changing gig for his band Stella doesn't wake up. Perhaps it was the pill Simon gave her to calm down during their wine infused fight last night.

Simon is devastated when he is told Stella is in a coma. His band has to replace him, his dreams once again diminished, but he is there everyday for Stella playing music, talking to her and holding her hand.

Four months go by and Stella slowly awakens but things are not the same. She doesn't feel like herself and is anxious. The one thing that calms her down is drawing circles and sketches but soon she is painting portraits that see right through people's souls and it helps them and her heal whatever pain they are in.

What Stella can't see is how far the new her and Simon have drifted apart and how her best friend and doctor, Libby, has become a place of comfort for Simon.

The author goes out of her way to show us that these are not bad people. They are human beings who have had bad things happen to them. How they cope or not cope is the heart of the story. There is emotional hurt, humor, regret, self loathing and maturity through out this story. I appreciated and felt every emotion. There are no villains. There are poor decisions and harsh consequences. Just like in real grown up life!

I received a free copy of this book from the publisher, both in hard copy and via @netgalley for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.

Once Stella wakes from her coma after two months, Simon thinks things will go back to what he used to consider "normal." But Stella after the coma isn’t someone that anyone really knows yet.

There are so many delicate and complicated emotions in this story. In the beginning, Simon is sure his band is getting their big break, and he and Stella will travel with the band to LA the next day. Then he and Stella argue, she decides to stay home, but he convinces her they can relax and have one more good evening with the pills he finds in his pocket. But between Stella’s stress and head cold, and Simon’s desperation for them to spend one more happy night together, something goes terribly wrong.

Stella spends the next two months in the hospital in a coma, and Simon spends as much time as possible by her side. Stella’s mother also comes to town, and she and Simon are sure their positive attitudes will bring their Stella back to them. The real story starts when Stella finally does wake up. Everyone has changed over the course of two months, but Stella’s brain has rewired differently than any of them can understand.

While there are plenty of stories of couples growing apart over time, the changes to Stella while she was unconscious, and to Simon as he tries to be the perfect boyfriend begging the universe for her recovery are extreme and fast. They both also have their long-held wishes for the future possibly influencing what their real memories are of the recent past.

The story was beautifully told, and the internal thoughts of Stella seeing everyone as colors when she can’t open her eyes were fascinating. Overall, I’d give this book 3 out of 5 stars. Its study of human nature was intriguing, and I hadn’t read anything similar before.

Thank you Algonquin for sending me this book, and for letting me have access to the Ebook as well through NetGalley. This book tugged at my heart, the love Simon and Stella have for each other can whether any storm, or so we all thought.

Stella as we read more into the book is the most responsible one of the relationship, imagine being in a relationship where there are two adults and only one is in charge of everything. I couldn’t blame Stella for wanting them to be more serious, buy a home, get married, have children. But Simon seems to be stuck in this world of wanting to be famous, his band is awesome, they book shows, but they are all getting older. His love for his music is admirable, and even Stella sees that and she supports him, but when is enough enough?

Then something happen and this is where Simon finally gets to grow up. Stella is in a coma for months, His band is moving on and now they are a success without him, he finally has to take responsibility and then he meets the doctor whose also Stella’s closest friend. Libby isn’t Simons biggest fan at all, she heard things from Stella directly, and some were negative, but now Simon is changing right before her eyes, and she’s seeing a whole different type of man. And when Stella wakes up, she’s not the same woman either.

Stella wakes up, and she’s literally a whole different woman, more carefree, into art, being a phenom all on her own because of her talents. But things are not the same anymore, and I was sad at the same time because, I cant stress this enough, Simon, Stella and even Libby changed. They all find out things about themselves that changes them, I wont give too much away, but Libby was able to forgive herself and the past and move on, Simon was able to finally be financially stabled, and finally be an adult, and also come to peace with his father and their issues that has stemmed for years and years. And finally Stella gets to understand her relationship with her mother, which I thought was pretty good but I guess not, she got to finally move on, accepts her amazing new life, and all of the gifts that come with it.

This book was just awesome.

Stella and Simon's relationship has been great for 20 years but now they have problems.

Simon wants his rock musician fame back where it was and is trying to save his band.

When he finds he must go on the road and leave Stella behind, his emotions are a whirlwind and he's torn. But life has a cruel hand laid for them meaning he has to choose between Stella and his dreams of being a star.

I loved the honest, sensitive realistic way this was written and could feel for both Stella and Simon. I was hoping Stella would pull through but was concerned for what effects the coma would have.

At moments heartbreaking, at others thought provoking, With or without You is a brilliant novel about love, difficult decisions and what really matters in life.

Thanks to Caroline Leavitt and Algonquin Books for my ARC in exchange for an honest and voluntary review.

4 stars.

This story follows Simon and Stella a couple in their early 40’s living in NYC who are starting to discover that maybe they just don’t want the same things anymore. Simon is a musician about to go on another tour and Stella is a nurse who just wants to have something a little more stable. As Simon is about to head to LA for a gig that Stella should be joining him for, they decide to have a night together like the “old times” with drinks and some recreational drug use. The next morning Stella is unable to be aroused and Simon takes her into the hospital where she works as a nurse where she is placed into a medically induced coma. From here both of their lives will change forever.

This book is told in alternate points of between Simon, Stella, And Libby (Stella’s close friend at the hospital turned personal doctor). If you wanted to match it to a Taylor Swift Folklore song it would be equivalent to Illicit Affair. It had a very dreamy feel with an absolutely satisfying ending. Would recommend.

They shouldn't work as a couple. Stella is logical and grounded, a nurse who is a great at her work. Simon is mercurial and creative, a musician whose band almost made it to the top. Stella's best friend, Libby, is a doctor at the hospital where Stella works. She can't understand why Stella would stay with Simon who seems childish and self-centered to her. Stella supports all of Simon's dreams and where does that leave Stella?

Now Simon has one more chance to make it big. The band has been asked to go to California to open for a rising star and it could mean the start of something new. When Stella tells Simon she doesn't want to go with him, they argue and then end up partying to try to make up. The next morning Simon wakes up determined to talk things out but Stella doesn't wake up. She is in a coma.

The coma lasts for several months. During that time, Simon starts to change. He begins to grow up and realizes that his role is to be there for Stella no matter what she needs. Libby helps with Stella's care and sees the changes in Simon. As she gets to know him better, she changes her opinion of him. He seems more mature and giving now.

But when Stella finally awakes from her coma, all is changed. She is a different person. She likes different food and different things while her old habits don't interest her at all. She starts to draw and then paint people and a huge talent flows through her. Soon she is in demand and she finds the fame that has always eluded Simon. Simon is confused at the changes and draws even closer to Libby. As they inevitably fall in love, they try to find ways to justify the betrayal of Stella. When Stella discovers their relationship, everything comes to a crisis.

Caroline Leavitt has written a warm and wise novel about human lives and how none of us lives just one life. We all change throughout our lives and what defines us at one point may not interest us at all at another. What does love mean in this kind of changing and unfolding of lives? Does a true love change with the people involved or does it have a finite timeline? The reader will find themselves challenged to think through these questions and to relate them to their own lives. This book is recommended for readers of literary fiction and those interested in our relationships and connections to each other.

With or Without You is an intimate and honest story of Stella, Simon, and Libby. Stella and Simon’s relationship seems to be unraveling when tragedy strikes and Stella is hospitalized. Simon is forced to finally grow up and choose Stella over his aspirations. Author Caroline Leavitt has created flawed characters with a lot of baggage who readers are sure to love and hate simultaneously. None of the characters are wholly likable, but their story is interesting.

The story is told in alternating POV so that readers are immersed in the main characters’ feelings. This really showcases how much the characters are changing along with their uprooted plans. I liked the addition of flashbacks to tell the characters’ backstory.

Stella’s return forces the couple to take stock of their relationship. I liked that the ending was inconclusive because life isn’t usually prettily wrapped up with a bow after a few chapters. The ending left me with hope.

Simon & Stella have been together forever. Stella is a nurse, while Simon is a musician. Despite being in love since they met in their twenties, they have never married. They reside in New York City, but Stella often joined Simon on the road when his band toured. But now Stella, in her forties, wants to settle down and start a family before its too late, but Simon doesn’t share the same desires. When Simon’s band, who at one point were up and coming but have since fizzled up, get an opportunity to open for a big time musician, Stella plans to go with him to LA.

At the last minute, Stella tells Simon that she won’t be joining him. Simon is upset and they argue. Both start to reminisce about the past twenty years together. As their anger towards each other and the glasses of wine they are drinking dwindles, they decide to take some pills like they had in their early days together. When Simon wakes up the next morning, he is thinking about going to LA without Stella and possibly starting a new life out there without her. But when he tries to wake Stella up, she is unresponsive.

When they arrive at the hospital, Stella has slipped into a coma, and the doctors are not sure if or when she will wake up. Simon, distraught, doesn’t know what to do. He is mad at himself that he was questioning leaving Stella and he’s mad at his bandmates that don’t seem to understand why he can’t go with them to LA. The situation forces Simon to become responsible. He has to think about others for a change.

When Stella does wake up, she has new desires. She no longer wants to be a nurse but instead has an incredible artistic ability. She simply is a different person than she was before she went into a coma. She has changed and she must figure out her way in the world. Does that world include Simon? She’s not sure.

Change is inevitable in life. Our experiences, our encounters with people, and our experiences can change us. Sometimes it is something huge that evokes this change and others times it is small. But I truly believe that the changes that we go through are meant for us. That we can only become who we are meant to be by going through these experiences. The changes might be extremely painful, but we also might discover a strengthness in ourselves that we might never have found.

With or Without You is a story about change but also about finding ourselves and those that we love. About finding out what passions are hidden inside of us and what we are willing to endure for them.