"Much of the confusion about touch in dating or engagement stems not only from our innate desire for instant gratifcation, but the confusing narrative we're given within the church and the world".

In her book <Handle with Care>, Lore Ferguson Wilbert writes about the ministry of touch of Jesus and how the modern day church and its culture can begin to reflect his heart.

I am not sure I agree with all of her arguments (though I do agree with a lot of it), but I do very much appreciate Wilbert's tackling such a niche and necessary topic of touch, as well as and her candidness and vulnerability to share with the readers her experiences. This book is sure to open up the necessary and much overdue conversations around touch.

Most of us really do want to use touch in good and godly ways. But in an age where the wrong kind of touch is rampant and in a culture where touch is often incorrectly perceived, Handle with Care is a much needed resource. Theologically reflective, deeply moving, and above all a helpful field guide for what healthy touch looks like. The timing of reading this book during the middle of a social distancing COVID-19 global moment also makes it a particularly poignant read, as those of us who care for others through touch long for a time when healthy, caring touch can return. Most of all, Lore Ferguson Wilbert points us to Jesus as our expert guide to emotionally healthy, theologically informed, God-glorifying touch. Recommended.

The author considers all the ways church has forbidden touch and sets out to redeem it. She's brave in covering all topics. I appreciated what she shared about Jesus's willingness to touch and heal people, regardless of what society thought about it.

An interesting topic, given that we are currently avoiding touching anyone during a pandemic. I appreciate Wilbert's passion on the subject, although I don't completely agree with her.

This book was a great read! I never knew that others felt the same way I did about touch! I believe this is a must have for our Christian school library for students and teachers a like!

I’ve been waiting for Lore Ferguson Wilbert to write a book for years, and I’m not the only person—as pictures of her book have popped up on social media during release week, it seems as though every person has shared how much they have longed for the day when Lore’s words would show up on our doorsteps, hardbound. When I first heard what this book would be about, I did not think this topic would impact me as deeply as it did. As someone who teaches children who have been abused, I appreciated how delicately she talked about touch in relation to little ones. This is a book that everyone should read, but my prayer is for it to circulate through the church, changing the lives of all who open its pages.

What does it mean to touch well? Is it possible, and if so, what does that look like in today's world?

Tackling a subject so many, perhaps especially Christians, don't know how to talk about and instead sidestep around, Lore instead dives in deep. While there are a few things that Lore does not mention or talk about in great detail, which is understandable within the limited of a traditional nonfiction title and page count, she does not shy away from the many different "topics" surrounding touch. I particularly appreciated that she clearly took time to think through many different people who may pick up this book -- married, divorced, widowed, single, with and without children, etc. Because she took the time and wrote in a way that is not exclusive or aimed specifically at one group, this book will minister to many.

⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣In Handle With Care, Lore doesn’t give prescriptive, rule-based advice (thank God!), but comes alongside readers to share what she’s learned about the ministry of touch in scripture.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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Woven throughout the book are her experiences with touch - harmful, helpful, and healing - both given and received. She writes about abuse, the ramifications of purity culture, loving and valuing our bodies (“matter matters”), our need for regular, healthy touch, and embodied faith.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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“Who is my neighbor? Everyone. God made us with bodies and came in a body and died in a body and rose again in a body, and one day all His people will dwell with Him forever - every one of us in our own glorified body. Each of those realities matter to the entire gospel narrative and so they should each inform the way we interact with the world around us, our fellow humans on earth. It should inform how we touch and are touched, even by those we have seemingly no personal relationship. We are persons and therefore all our relationships are personal.”⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

That'll preach.
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What I loved:
The author, Lore Ferguson Wilbert, writes about a topic that is SO pertinent to 2020. With #metoo drawing awareness to how touch can be terribly misused (and destroy trust), having a resource to get us thinking on life-giving touch is a must. As far as I'm aware, Lore's book, Handle with Care, is the first!

I love that her heart for healthy, good touch is evident in every page. She doesn't hold back from talking about her own experiences with destructive touch. She also doesn't skip a single area, such as sexual touch, marital touch, or friend touch. I always loved the passages of the Bible that talk about Jesus touching those deemed "other" in the Jewish society in the 1st century A.D.--lepers, women, injured (including currently bleeding), the blind, lame, deaf, tax collectors, prostitutes....the list goes on and on.

Jesus never shrank back, never distanced Himself. That willingness to touch dirt and disease is rare among humans, yet even more amplified by the fact that this was God's Son, the purest, holiest being to walk the planet. Of anyone, He should be given a free pass to not get His hands dirty by our problems...right?
But out of everyone, He was the one to reach first to help and heal. To love. That's a powerful, beautiful thing. In Handle with Care, Lore highlights this. Touch can bring healing -- should bring healing -- whether for a friend, enemy, or love. Her call to think about this wasn't something I ignored. It's given me more awareness on when touch is good, not just when it's bad.

What I didn't like:
This list isn't long, despite my 3-star rating. Disclaimer: I used to rate everything as 5s, but then I realized it was solely to people-please and avoid any negatives Goodreads comments. Now I follow the Goodreads description when hovering over the stars--3 stars is "I liked it." Definitely positive.

What I didn't like is more personal than universal, so take this with a grain of salt.

Like all women, I've experienced negative touch. I've also experienced positive touch, of course. But those negative experiences have helped me be guarded and set boundaries. I honestly believe that these boundaries are good because they stem from respecting myself, and will hopefully teach men to follow boundaries for any other women they meet in the future.

I also like to think that I'm still a warm person, and can exchange hugs, kisses on the cheek, etc. in a normal way. What I didn't like with Handle with Care was that Lore -- a self-proclaimed LOVER of touch -- seemed to make it an either/or thing. Either you always love touch, or you always hate touch. This was absolutely not done maliciously or without explanation (such as that Christians should rise above cultural boundaries, which is true), but I still think that - as much as I want to be like Jesus - there is and should be a difference between HIM touching everyone and ME touching everyone. So I wish there was more nuance in her explanation. She purposefully steered clear from giving an action-plan because everyone is different, which I appreciate. I just wish there was more practical application instead of solely theory.

Overall, a poignant read that fills an important gap in the publishing world. So glad it was written -- I definitely recommend Handle with Care!

This is a faith-based book that discusses all aspects of touch and the importance of healthy touch in our circles today. This is a topic I've always struggled with and knew this book would help me sort through a lot of the thoughts I've wrestled with most of my life. Growing up, I went to a private religious school where it was drilled into our heads that touch was primarily sexual and should be refrained from except in the confines of marriage. If we were to sit next to someone of another gender, we had to leave enough room between our bodies that a copy of the Holy Bible could sit in that space. We were told that our physical bodies had one purpose and to use them outside of that purpose was sinful. I never believed this to be true and have always carried a lot of guilt and shame because of this, and I resonated so much with Lore's words in this book. She shares many personal stories and uses Scripture references to support the statements she makes. This book as a whole was very encouraging and helpful. It's a wonderful read for anyone who is interested in how touch can be used in Christian ministry or, like me, has struggled with some of the ideas about touch that were taught in our early years. *Advance copy provided by the publisher in exchange for my honest review as part of the official book launch team.

I was so glad to read this book and thought it was very well done. I love the way that Lore uses personal experience and story, robust research and quotations, and many, many Bible passages (in context!) to flesh out each chapter of this book. Touch isn't something I have spent a lot of time thinking about, but now I will, and many things in this book resonated with me. I think many people will read this book and feel seen and known and loved and hopefully experience healing through Lore's words

Handle With Care by @lorewilbert is a special book.
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Yes, it’s a much-needed and sorely overdue treatment of the issue of touch written from a robustly biblical perspective. But what is even more special than the subject is Lore herself. She approaches authorship, theology, and her own influence in Christian circles with an attitude of humility and authenticity from which I believe we all can learn.
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Lore has been doing slow and faithful work for decades. She didn’t write Handle With Care with the intention of “making it big” or becoming a best-selling Christian author, but because publishing it was the way she could best be obedient to God in this season of her life. And that is exactly what makes its message as rich, potent, and sincere as it is.
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Handle With Care releases on Feb 4th. If you’re interested to know how God desires Christians to think about the role of healthy, ministering touch in our lives, consider pre-ordering and follow @lorewilbert to learn more.

My husband and I are on a 15-month motorcycle trip through Central and South America. My Spanish is limited yet improving. One of my goals for this trip has been to truly connect with the people we meet. Latin culture is much more expressive than other cultures. While I have been learning from these dear people, I received an Advanced Reader’s Copy of the book, “Handle With Care”. I am touched by Lore’s humility and compassion. I gave this book a five-star rating because I am convinced that every person will resonate with some part.

Lore clearly and concisely defines the three types of touch, platonic, sexual and professional and then expands the discussion to understand how each of these three types can be used to “minister” to another human being created in God’s image OR “taken” in an abusive or manipulative way which God hates.

Touch is so complex. I appreciated Lore’s sensitivity to each person’s story, recognizing we all have personalities and history-- some good, some bad, that will influence how we respond to touch.

Lore also takes examples of Old Testament rules surrounding touch as well as carefully thinking through the accounts of Jesus touching and being touched to help us learn, discuss this area with our spouses, friends, church and commit to teaching our children how to rightly “care” for those around us in order that we will learn to be like Christ “when Jesus is undone over human suffering, He comes close and He touches.”

This is not a sterile discussion of touch, it is a vulnerable sharing of one’s life, asking questions, seeking God’s wisdom and requesting that we join this journey.

I received an Advanced Reader's Copy of the book from the publisher.

Oh, this is such an important book.

Touch is such a sticky topic in our culture and many people avoid touch altogether out of fear. Lore writes beautifully about the importance of touch and points us back to Jesus and His ministry. Jesus used touch as a means of healing and a way to acknowledge a person's humanity. He didn't just speak healing, but many times chose to touch the leper or place his hands over the blind man's eyes. We have the chance to offer others a similar ministering and healing touch.

Lore does not give guidelines or how-to's for touch, but rather invites us to transform our mindset around physical touch and consider its proper place in our lives. I've read Lore's words for years and this book is a faithful outpouring of her wisdom. Her words are full of truth and love and healing.

I LOVE this book and would highly recommend it to anyone with a body. ;)

*I received an Advanced Reader's Copy of the book from the publisher. All opinions are my own.*

I have been a faithful reader of Lore’s blog for a couple years now and have come to deeply appreciate her poetic yet down-to-earth voice. Her touch on difficult topics is gentle yet unafraid of firm Truth.

Knowing that, I expected to love Handle With Care, and I wasn’t disappointed. Lore handles the topic of touch beautifully. She covers many the kinds of touch we give and receive in our various relationships (marriage, children, family, the church, professionally, socially, etc.) and the ways our experiences shape the way we give and receive. She does this by exploring the ways her experiences have shaped her relationship with touch and by exploring what God teaches us about touch.

I found the book well researched, artfully written, and a true delight. I believe we all need some level of healing in our relationship with touch and I recommend Handle With Care as an excellent tool to take along on that journey.


I received an advance copy of Handle With Care from the publisher. All opinions are my own.

As it turns out, "the purity movement had a good intention, a good motivation (chastity), but its sales pitch, of using sex as the most important thing to sell abstinence, actually led people to value and to focus on the wrong thing. Sex is merely a crumb of the appetizer to the feast of God has prepared for us. Even after the best sex, we will always be wanting more. We must touch with eternity in mind.

The above statement resonated with me because I think it represents the book as a whole that we have a misunderstanding of touch. In our over sexual culture, we look at touch as sexual and not as a ministry. I have followed Lore Ferguson Wilbert's blog for some time. I have enjoyed her writing and how she articulates the gospel that it goes deep into my heart. I have included a link to her blog.
http://www.sayable.net/blog/2019/11/2...

I was thrilled to see that she had written a book as she takes experience and applies the gospel. She gives you a background of how her family life, her single life and now her married life. Our lives like hers involve touch. Some of us back away from touch while others gravitate towards touch. Touch can be a their love language. How they express love and give love.

Why is touch a ministry? It is a way for us to connect in a deeper level. To feel and to give love. In the church because of the sexual culture we are in, touch is limited and half hugs or more telling that touch is bad when it may be the very thing a soul needs. The book is a conversation about how Jesus used touch for ministry. And it is great start for us as well. Highly recommend.

A Special Thank You to B & H Publishing Group and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.

Handle with care by Lore Ferguson Wilbert is a book about a topic that I have never heard or seen before. It’s about the theology of touch. It’s a topic that i think should be studied and explored. This book is deep and has challenged me to ponder on how I’ve always thought about “touch” and why I think and feel this way. I would recommend this book to anyone who is in the church.

earc from netgalley.

interesting book about a topic that very much needs to be addressed. if it looks interesting, go for it!

Have you ever thought about the word “touch” and what does the Bible say about it? In all honesty, I have not, and if you were to ask me about it ~ I am one of those people who like space, someone who puts up imaginary boundary lines, not really a hugging type of person. I am sure this is a weakness of mine and I really don’t have much of an answer as to why I am this way until I read this book. I know there are others out there similar to me, but we can’t begin to understand why someone else is the way they are, unless you have lived their life, understood their circumstances, know about their past, feelings, etc… Which is so important to remember and something she shares about. She tackles this tough topic in a very Biblical way, while also sharing her personal experience and research of the subject. Lore provided me with a lot to think about and learn. She makes a point to share in the beginning her purpose of this book:
“The grandness of God, His love for you, His love for others, and how that should inform how you think about and practice touch…to make you think about how you touch, who you touch, why you touch, where you touch, when you touch, and what you touch – but never to tell you…but point you to Christ and implore you to think about how He was touched and touched others, and to allow His actions and His love for you to bear weight on how you give and receive touch.”
In this book, she talks about many of the root problems we have about touch and some of the confusion out there. Where society sometimes gets it wrong, how our history affects us. Of course, this topic can be difficult to some, especially if you have dealt with abuse or been assaults. Lore addresses these areas in a compassionate and healthy way.
Couple of my favorite quotes I took from the book:
To be like Jesus, we must submit to the reality that we have physical limitations and requirements for our bodies to function and carry out the vocation and purpose God has intended.
Ministering touch done in the light is a good and glorious thing.
If we are children of God and we know we are loved, then we ought at first to love God. But part of loving God much means generously loving others – particularly those who are marginalized.
I can see this book being really great and helpful for church leaders, counselors, and missionaries especially. However, I also found much to learn from and gain from her experience and the wisdom she brings to it.

I received this book through Instagram and NetGalley. I was accepted as one of the launch team members for this book and asked to give an honest opinion. I was directed to NetGalley for a review copy and to the Facebook discussion group page where we can comment. I am awaiting a free print copy from the publisher upon publication.
All comments and opinions are my own.
Touch, to touch and be touched is a human need. We are born with it, do not thrive without it. In this culture of the #metoo movement, how do we accept or give righteous touch. Touch that is wholesome, pure and loving is possible. Threat or fear clouds our thinking and we are concerned touch may be misconstrued.
In this timely and necessary book, we learn that the past and times of improper touch can be redeemed, bringing healing to relationships we now have. The book addresses all ages, all relationship status and shows the way Jesus used to touch the bodies and spirits bringing life, hope, joy, peace, comfort, and healing to all be had contact with. The book also deals with improper conduct of touch; that which seems to harm, manipulate or control others. How do we heal when these kinds of touches invade the soul?
I really was conflicted and convicted by this book as a Christian. I needed every word. As I seek to grow closer to God, and my church family; I will remember these words as apply them as needed. This book changes the way I approached the topic of touch.
I highly recommend this book to pastoral care ministers and laypeople of the church, teachers and parents, singles and married alike.