Cover Image: You Exist Too Much

You Exist Too Much

Pub Date:   |   Archive Date:

Member Reviews

This one did not hook me quickly enough, so I did not feel like it would catch my student's attention either. I unfortunately don't think they'd have the patience for this one.

Was this review helpful?

Wow! What a powerful, lyrical book. It never ceases to amaze how as readers we can relate with people across cultures.

Was this review helpful?

One of my favorite debuts of 2020...will be looking forward to everything this author writes! From the structure to the voice, this novel was an all-around winner for me.

Was this review helpful?

I had a lot of mixed thoughts about this book. The main character and author are Palestinian and queer. The main character goes to Jordan and Palestine multiple times throughout the book and other Arab countries. I loved the discussion of her Arab identity and struggling to feel Arab or American enough I strongly related to that. I am not Arab but I loved the way the representation was handled in this book it felt authentic, raw and I strongly connected to it.

While the Arab representation was amazing every other ethnicity was portrayed terribly. I was extremely annoyed when she went to Italy the way she described the people and place was riddled with offensive stereotypes. She has a renting dispute and claimed "Renters rights don't exist in Tuscany," which is a bunch of bullshit. As someone who has had experience renting in both the US and Italy I had better rights and was treated better in Italy as a renter than in the US. This is not true at all and reinforces stereotypes.

Another ethnicity that was described terribly is this Argentine man she dates who is all stereotypes. When she meets him and he asks her out she thinks to herself I should not go out with a Latin man that is a terrible idea you know how Latin men are. He treats her horribly, sweeps her off her feet, is passionate, and embodies every stereotype of the "Latin lover."

A big theme of this book is mental health and healing. The main character was such a terrible person at times due to her trauma and made terrible decisions. It was hard to read at times and I hated the main character a lot in the beginning. I don't have any knowledge of love addiction I don't know if it was handled well at all but I appreciated the inclusion of mental health.

This book was messy and I can see why some people might not like it. We need messy queer books as much as any other queer book. Not every queer person comes into themselves in a perfectly wrapped package. While this was frustrating to read at times I could not put it down. The nonlinear storytelling grabbed me and sucked me in. I had conflicting views about this book but ultimately enjoyed it. I'm glad more queer books like this are being published I hope one day we can see a day where this isn't the only Palestinian queer book I could find. That every queer identity is portrayed and has more to choose from than they can read.

Was this review helpful?

This book seems disjointed and lacking. I like that it features an Arab main character, as that isn’t something often seen. The plot just isn’t well developed.

Was this review helpful?

Timeline was disjointed but the story was engaging and relatively easy to follow. Loved the political later the author added to it.

Was this review helpful?

You Exist Too Much's narrator is unreliable (and frankly, not incredibly likable) but it made this book incredibly compelling.

It's the story of a 20-something Palestinian-American woman struggling with a love/sex addiction and substance abuse issues, and the story is told over multiple timelines (which led to some confusion on my part at times, but I was fascinated nonetheless). The writing is beautiful, and the author weaves in reflections on the narrator's culture, her sexuality, her relationships, and other parts of her identity. It also explores the narrator's complex and often unhealthy relationship with her mother, whose comment "you exist too much" lends the book's title. All in all, a compelling reflection on identity, family and relationships.

Was this review helpful?

I absolutely loved this book, though it was hard to read and not think deeply about the relationships we each have with our mothers -- good, bad, or other. The writing was beautiful and raw. I love a book where the lead character hovers between deeply hate-able, deeply relatable, and deeply save-able. This was all of them.

Was this review helpful?

Not even halfway through and this book manages to strike every single way to disrespect sexuality and mental illness,
brimming with stereotypes and unrealistic representations. This is extremely harmful towards bisexuals specifically, making them labeled as "love addicts" going around falling in love with every person they meet and getting "obsessed" with them, jumping from a person to another.

Was this review helpful?

Wow!! What did I just read? This was such a. unique read and yet so timely. I adore the author’s writing style and cannot wait to read more from them in the future.

Was this review helpful?

In an attempt to catch up with the reviews I fell behind on in 2020 I am only leaving star rating for the books that I didn't feel incredibly passionate about.

Was this review helpful?

I found this book to be both captivating and challenging. Challenging in the sense that, while the character didn't always make the best choices, she was real and relatable.

Was this review helpful?

3.5 stars rounded up to 4.*

You Exist to Much is the story of a 30-something Palestinian-American bisexual woman who struggles with Alcoholism, Sex addiction, mental health issues and general identity crises. Nonetheless, the story is really well written. While I didnt' LIKE the main character, I wanted to know more about her and to hear her experiences.

This book reads more like a journal or a memoir than a novel.

Recommended for fans of contemporary LGBTQ literature.

*with thanks to NetGalley for the digital ARC in exchange for this honest review.

Was this review helpful?

Welcome to a rollercoaster story; A 30 something American-Palestinian woman trying to find herself and ultimately remake herself.

This is the debut novel for Zaina Arafat. Her story is told in dual timelines and by totally unreliable narrators, which makes for a complicated, yet compelling read.

Our character is struggling with her family's culture, as well as her heritage, her religion and her sexual identity. We quickly learn that being a Queer, Palestinian-American comes with a high price. Her mother's expectations for her daughter quickly becomes a catalyst for shame and unlove.

As our character struggles with her family identity she also struggles with her intimacy. She loves too quickly, too all consuming... only to begin drowning deeply in bad choices and obsessive love.

The author takes us on a journey revealing that not all relationships are sunshine and roses. That sometimes they are dark, harsh and destructive.

Thank you to NetGalley, Catapult and the author Ms. Zaina Arafat, for the opportunity to read this Advanced Readers Copy of "You Exist Too Much". The opinions expressed in this review are mine alone.

Was this review helpful?

This book is a gorgeous, intimate, and wrecking in the best way. It's not often that I see bisexual women represented on our own terms in all its complexity, and I so appreciate having authors who grapple with their experiences in ways that help others live their lives.

Was this review helpful?

You Exist Too Much is a slow moving story - the narration changes between the present and the past. The main character is trying to find herself and makes some frustrating choices on the way. It is sometimes confusing.......

What I like about the book is that it does not provide simplistic solutions that leads to a cinematic ending. We see the main character fall multiple times, get up and make (sometimes) the same mistakes, and eventually learn about herself.....

Not a quick read for sure! It is complex and thought provoking. Are there some behaviors within ourselves that are obviously disturbing to an outsider, but not to us? Is this everyone's journey in this world?

Thank you, #NetGalley for providing an ARC!

#YouExistTooMuch #NetGalley

Was this review helpful?

I thought I was really going to love this book, but unfortunately it did not strike as deeply as I would’ve liked. The tone seemed lighter and almost naive, and the main character was difficult to empathize with. While this book will definitely work for some people, it unfortunately did not for me.

Was this review helpful?

This books feels very much like reading someone's diary. Its honest and open and the author masterfully switches between memories from childhood and current day struggles with love addiction and mommy issues. The narrator isn't quite likable, but you want to understand her anyway.

Was this review helpful?

It’s said that the relationships we have with our earliest caregivers shape how we interact as adults. As the unnamed MC goes into relationships and infatuations, she gradually begins to unlock the legacy of cultural and intergenerational traumas. At the heart of it all is the relationship with her mother, who herself is grappling with her own demons. I did appreciate Arafat’s exploration of mental health, although I was not too fond of the section on recovery. Additionally, the story is peppered with facts about Palestinian history—on the one hand, I found this helpful, but in some sections, it seemed out of place. Still, I enjoyed reading the story, and look forward to more of Arafat’s work.

Was this review helpful?

I really enjoyed the fractal nature of this, and I am all for queer disaster characters, especially ones as nuanced as this protagonist. The ending lost me a little as far as tension, but I otherwise really enjoyed this book.

Was this review helpful?