You Exist Too Much follows a Palestinian-American woman navigating through conflicting the cultural and religious ideals of her upbringing, in conflict with an eating disorder, love addiction and sexual identity.

The beginning of the novel held my attention and it was well-written. However, I was left wanting more. I felt there was very little character development and at times the story jumped around too much, leaving me wanting more from multiple story-lines/scenes. I was hoping the book would include more about life in Palestine and delve deeper into her addictions and disorders. I felt like many of the topics were mentioned but mostly glazed over.

Thank you to Net Galley for providing me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

There were a lot of things that made this book intriguing to me. I fell hard for the description of this book. After the initial intrigue wore off, I had a hard time keeping the momentum going. I wanted this to be a book that was made for me, and I can't quite pinpoint why it wasn't. I appreciated the main character and her struggles, her honesty with herself. I appreciated the various flashbacks to her life growing up. There were many aspects that I liked, I just couldn't stay engaged with the storyline.

You Exist Too Much really makes you really think about life, love, addiction, sex, identity, and culture. I often found myself shaking my head or with wide eyes as I followed the MC as she navigated her life. She (the protagonist) really has been defined by her childhood growing up between the US and Palestine. She has struggled to gain the attention of her mother and other family members along with dealing with her abusive mother. As an adult, she navigates her life by being addicted to love or I would even say attention. Either way, this book is deep and will make you think about how our childhood shapes the people we come as adults.

I rate this one 4 stars.

Our unnamed Palestinian-American narrator, after years of being told by her mother that she "exists too much" in her feelings and desires, checks herself into a treatment center for love addiction. During her journey of self-discovery, we see her in all of her imperfect glory: wanting to be loved, desiring the wrong people, following passions down dangerous roads, and struggling to unpack her fraught relationship with her mother. Arafat's writing is visceral and honest, and although the narrator's journey is not an easy one to watch, it is told through outstanding writing and incredible emotion.

the writing was exquisite but my god it was physically painful to watch this character make the same mistakes over and over.

Wow, this was such a difficult read (in the best way possible). Lots of really painful moments in this book. It's hard not to feel everything while reading it. The plot was super interesting, especially seeing how the protagonist changed and grew over time. I do agree with some of the other reviewers that the protagonist wasn't super relatable or likeable at times. That made it a little hard to understand/empathize with her, though still a compelling read.

Review will be posted on my blog closer to publication date and links will be added accordingly.

You Exist Too Much seemed like a book that was pretty much made for me. The premise was so interesting but the actual story was a bit of a let down. It wasn’t a bad book, I just had high expectations.

When writing this review I realized I do not know the name of the protagonist. At first, I was really disappointed with my memory. But after reading the synopsis and re-reading the first couple of chapters of the book, I can tentatively say that she doesn’t have a name. [If anyone who has read this book thinks I am an idiot because the protagonist's name is really (insert name here) or if anyone knows why the protagonist doesn’t have a name, please tell me in the comments below].

The protagonist was so unlikable. She was so self-destructive and hurt everyone good in her life. This was to probably prove a point as to the effects of growing up queer in an abrasive culture or that protagonists shouldn’t have to be likeable for you to sympathize with them or something like that. However regardless of whatever the point of her unlikeableness was, it lessened the effectiveness of the story. I really did not like the protagonist and at times felt like I’d rather hear the story of some of the other people in her life.

The writing in this novel was really compelling and made up for the main character’s flaws. It’s what kept me coming back to the book which I devoured in one evening. I really enjoyed the author’s method of description, it was the perfect amount of imagery. There were perhaps few too many characters, but given the style of the book, it’s quite natural. The pacing of the book was good too but the book is told in a non-linear style, from present to past to present, all at various times. There weren’t clear distinctions when there would be a time skip and this made for a somewhat jarring reading experience.

The present day stuff was far less interesting than her past. I really enjoyed learning about her childhood, watching her grapple with her identity and the dissolution of her relationship with her mother. I did not enjoy learning about her romantic relationships and watching her make the same mistakes over and over, with very little self awareness (until close to the end). It was painful but maybe that was the point.

I really enjoyed the descriptions of her culture. My one critique is sometimes when describing Palestine, the author would get needlessly political about the Israel vs Palestine conflict which felt unnecessary to the whole story. But besides that it was really interesting seeing the intersection of the protagonist’s identities; the ways her identity as a Palestinian woman impacted her life as a bisexual woman. You Exist Too Much tells an important story that isn’t often told.

The author describes settings with such vivid detail that it really feels as if you too are there and the character development was also really impressive. There are so many characters in this novel and yet all of them are wonderfully distinct. They weren’t all likeable but they were still all interesting in their own ways. I also loved the ending of this book.

I received this book from Netgalley in exchange of an honest review.

A coming-of-age story about a young bisexual Palestinian woman? Count me in! The writing was pretty good for a debut novel. I loved the premise so very much. However, I just didn’t like the protagonist. I didn’t feel like she really grew at all. It became a struggle to read because I didn’t really want to spend time with any of the characters, especially the protagonist. Interesting premise, love the culture and background, but the characters left a lot to be desired. It was enjoyable enough but could’ve been so much better.

I received this book from Netgalley in exchange of an honest review.

You exist too much is a book written in a peculiar way. It's told in first person by the main character and the reader swings from past to present, following her in U.S., New York and the Middle East. The reader follow the main character's growth, reading about her experiences, her jobs, loves, her relationships with family, friends and sexuality. We follow her stories, her thoughts and fears and her Need to understand herself and to belong.
When her desire, her love addiction, pushed her girlfriend to leave her, she decides to seek help at the Lodge, a center where she will reflect, with other patients, about her life, needs and traumas.

I was attracted to this book because the plot is really interesting and I liked the story, but I couldn't relate completely with the main character. Many times I felt frustrated with her and with the story. I found the way it was written captivating, but a bit confusing. I'd appreciated more if there was an indication on the time and period and sometimes it felt like or too rushed or too slow.
Notwistanding the story is able to capture the attention and It deals with love, relationships, life and the longing of finding someone and a home.

This sounded really intriguing. Plus it checked so many of the boxes. For one thing, great for international reading, first experience with a Palestinian author, the book is set mostly in US (where the author is now based) with prolonged visits to the Middle East. Plus the protagonist is queer, bisexual to be specific, which creates for all sorts of cultural stereotype clashes. So anyway, there were certain expectations going in and at fist the book absolutely delivered. And then, as it went on, it got ever so slightly tiresome and I blame it on the main character. Of course, she can’t help it, she’s written that way, but the first person narrative is so immersive that the book seems to be deliberately structured to bypass the author and so…you have the protagonist’s story from early age to about 30 told very much in jumping around confessionals and vignettes. Messed up from the early age by the distant withholding father and an aggressively emotional mother, we meet her in her mid 20s as promiscuous DJing Brooklynite doing all she can to sabotage her live in relationship. Finally the person leaves her, which brings on some contemplation, which results in seeking treatment for love addiction. Yes, love addiction, first world all the way, unusual for a first generation immigrants, but this one is thoroughly Americanized. And so the novel takes you through rehab and post rehab affairs until the protagonist finally settles within herself enough. So essentially the challenging crippling mother/daughter relationship leads to looking for love in all the wrong places. Reductive…yes. Ok, but that’s how it is, though. There’s this obsessive need for a connection, followed by the inability to take care of it. And having just watched the second season of you, one can’t help but notice the parallels. Both characters are craving a perfect connection to make up for early childhood disappointments, both pursue ideals, both stumble when reality comes through the perfect ideal, but essentially both are looking for love. The main difference is that one (the strangely compelling one) is willing to kill for it, the other one is just playing the field, both fields in fact, like a greedy bisexual that she is. And ok, sure, this will sound terribly judgmental, but her sexuality is a mystery to me, the whatever whenever thing just to tune out the noise, the suddenness of her choices is too much. The romance with the Argentinian being the especially unbelievable one, conducted against all sound judgement almost immediately after rehab. Basically, the character takes almost inexplicable dramatic romantic leaps that are, sadly, in a way her main defining characteristic. That and the mommy thing. Both are to an extent cultural, certainly, and as such are very interesting to something not familiar with the culture, but after a while you’re just stuck with the character who is very limited. Despite the seemingly unlimited choices for connection, she’s mainly defined by toxic maternal love and its various codependences and a penchant for promiscuity. It’s so one note, you kind of want more for her. And in the end, there are barely any lessons learned. Yes, she is in a yet another relationship and yes this one shows promise of genuineness, but it seems like the protagonist hasn’t really changed that much and might revert back tom her old self at any moment. Now thinking about it, it’s probably reflects well on the book for me to have such personal opinions about its main character, shows a certain level of engagement at the very least, but it also shows a certain level of frustration. Maybe just too much time spent with someone I’m not sure I really liked or understood. Oh well, at least it’s been real as the kids say. Interesting too. The writing itself was very good, especially for a debut. Glad I read this, frustrations aside. Thanks Netgalley.