Some books are, like, one book. And some books are, like, 4 books, an informational pamphlet, a self-help seminar, and a ‘wish you were here’ postcard all bound into one. This is definitely the latter.

There is just so much going on here. The subtitle ‘A Missing Person Memoir’ doesn’t even get moving until halfway into the book! The first half follows the meeting, courting, and marriage of Aspen and Justin, thousands of miles hiked, multiple cross country moves, <I>as well as</I> 3 years of their marriage. Only then does he abscond and the book gets to work.

If ‘purple prose’ means <I>too</I> elaborate or ornate, I’m going to give this one a ‘mauve prose’ rating. This is not a book for the color blind, because every animal, vegetable, mineral, thought, feeling, and time of day is verdantly described here. For me, I mostly liked it - it wasn’t Dickens adding words for coin - but it was sometimes a bit much.
When receiving writing criticism, the author defends her ‘bloodless’ story with “Pretty air is far more valuable than ugly blood, I thought—the music of the sentences is what creates the nuance of emotions, not the drama.” So, at least she knows she’s doin it…

And if there is sometimes more verbiage than narrative here, there is also a good bit of psychological and sociological tangents and sometimes it felt like we were leaving the story for snippets of a grad school dissertation or a pop psychology textbook. I was engaged watching Matis make her rather remarkable physical and emotional journey, but occasionally she got all intellectual on me and it kind of broke the flow. As did the occasional instagram-bait food descriptions. (Really, there were quite a few of them.)

So, all that being harped on, I really did enjoy this book. Matis beautifully depicts her formative adult years and all of their <I>many</I> highs and lows and it really was an incredible trek that never managed to fall into the predictable places that I thought I saw coming. She uses these mini chapter headings that were ridiculously effective in building tension (and, not-a-real-spoiler, <I>did also lead me to lose sleep!</I> xD). And it was ultimately really satisfying watching her stumble, assess, get back up, get back to work, and the grow as she went on. She’s absolutely left me rooting for her (and ready to buy her other book asap!).

I enjoyed this book but I didn't love it. It was hard for me to personally relate to the author, even aside from the hardships she endured. I've seen this book compared to Wild by Cheryl Strayed, but I've never read that one or watched the movie so I can't say how much alike (or different) they are. Memoirs can be tough to review objectively because they are so personal, so while this one was largely a miss for me, it may be a hit for someone else.

I've got mixed feelings about this memoir. Terrible things had happened to Aspen Matis and she should be celebrated for her bravery and resilience to overcome these deeply hurtful experiences. She endured a horrific rape, but she did not give up and went onto a 2,650 mile hike for some soul-searching. She met her one true love during this hike from Mexico to Canada. The whole romance with Justin that she portrayed in the memoir from the moment she met him til the moment he disappeared was nothing short of a fairy tale. She came across as a very naive and impressionable young woman who believed everything her husband said. He was unbelievable supportive and she was totally oblivious to any hints that something was wrong. However, her reaction when she found out that her love (one of the pronouns that she used repetitively for her husband) was missing, she did not seem like someone who was oblivious. Aspen played with the thought of calling the police but then decided against it based on just one short phone call to her mother-in-law. She did not do anything to actively search for him during the whole time he was missing, other than messaging and calling a few odd friends to ask if they have any contact with him. And when he finally made contact after missing for so many days, her reply was a passive-aggressive joke? I am sure it was horrible for her to have the love of her life suddenly disappearing on her without a word. But was it really as unexpected as she described?
Overall, the writing felt overly contrived and superficial, which I felt took away the essence of an otherwise incredible story.

Thank you NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

A beautiful graphic book cover and an intriguing title will draw your eye to Aspen Matis’s Your Blue is Not My Blue: A Missing Person Memoir. A follow up memoir to her first book, Girl In The Woods: A Memoir, it was just published on June 1. However, just as I didn’t, you don’t need to read her prior memoir before picking up this new book - although her first book did garner the praise and interest of some well known celebrities, including Lena Dunham.

This new memoir from Matis has an interesting concept with the reader getting a behind the scenes look of the author writing her first book, not only her writing process but the significant events occurring in her life at that time. She recounts the history and timeline of the origin of both memoirs for new readers, a college essay assignment that under the guidance of her teacher mentor was accepted into the famous NY Times Modern Love column and then turned into what became her inspiring “Girl In The Woods: A Memoir”. She exposed herself raw and vulnerable to the world and to what she thought was the embarrassment of her mother, when she revealed she had been raped at the start of college before classes even began. Fleeing college and her predetermined plans, Aspen escapes on a healing solo pilgrimage of the west coast Pacific Crest Trail. I had never heard of the Appalachian Trail’s lesser known sister, the PCT, until WILD’s Cheryl Strayed, another similarly adventurous bold female author, made it famous with her fierce and forever life changing trek where she tackled her inner demons and pain just like Matis. Spectacularly though, Aspen meets her first true love on the trail, Justin, who then later becomes her husband.

However, her fairy tale ending was not to be. Justin was immensely supportive and instrumental to Aspen’s dream to become a writer, not only guiding her back to college in aspiring artist haven New York, but taking care of even her basic needs like putting in her contacts and making sure she had food and ate. Yet numerous red flags abounded — Justin didn’t want to return to work doing a ‘useless’ normal paying job, he only wanted to volunteer in what he considered worthwhile, hoping that he could float them through on his former finance savings until Aspen could support them financially as an author. He also tended to be a loner without a lot of his own friends, isolating and alienating himself from his family at times and even encouraging her to do the same with her family. He scavenged at times for their food on the streets of NY from throw-always. Lastly, he finally admitted to her that he had a computer game addiction and when encouraged by Aspen to work again to provide for a future family, he leaves for a friend’s funeral only to never return. But he not only leaves- he has no contact with her for 43 days?! Hence part of the book’s title: A Missing Person Memoir.

This disappearance lays the foundation for Matis’s second book and sets the stage for a downward spiral by Aspen into drinking, promiscuity, insomnia, limited writing productivity, shoplifting, and paranoia as she struggles to meet book deadlines while searching for closure and answers about Justin’s whereabouts. She discovers with the help of cyberstalking, he has already done the same behavior with another longtime serious girlfriend. Yet, as Aspen is still reeling from this shocking revelation about her husband, she builds back her estranged relationship with her parents. Through reflections with her parents she also realizes that core changes in her confidence and personality are a direct result from a sour and unjust experience with the coach of the Nordic Ski Race Team she developed herself in High School. Everything didn’t just originate or stem from the incidence in college. But perhaps the most shocking twist was when the author revealed her escape into the woods to recover from her college nightmare wasn’t her first foray in running from pain and fear. Like her husband, in times of hardship and struggle, she escapes back to nature for relief, healing, and reflection searching for personal growth and meaningful existence. Even before her PCT journey at only 19 years old, she had solo hiked the John Muir Trail and the Green Mountains. The very qualities that brought them together and sparked love for each other, also ultimately drove them apart in the end.

With these realizations and a renewed sense of love from her family, despite Justin’s disappearance and ensuing silence, Aspen is able to be at peace and come to a deeper appreciation for the world and relationships. She not only helps reunite Justin and his parents, but she even thanks them both in the acknowledgements section in her book. She thanks Justin, “who believed”...

If you loved Cheryl Strayed’s WILD the book or movie, this might be the next book to put at the top of your TBR pile or throw in your backpack for your next hiking trip. Or if you are interested to just hear a little more about Aspen’s story, take a peek at or listen to the podcast of her NY Times Modern Love Column: A Hiker’s Guide to Healing.

#NetGalley #YourBlueIsNotMyBlue

Thank you to Little A and NetGalley for a copy of this book and I am happy to provide an honest review.

Prior to reading Your Blue is Not My Blue, I was unfamiliar with Aspen Matis and her writing. I found the opening chapters engaging and accessible. Continuing through the book, her writing style became tedious to me and her constant use of colors in her descriptions felt contrived. Much of her existence while in NYC seemed charmed with no consequences to unpaid rent or explanations of how she managed to drink all that coffee and pay her tuition. I felt this memoir was light on actual substance, self-indulgent and overwritten. I found myself skimming the last several chapters as I simply no longer cared what happened.

I am grateful to have received a copy of this book from Little A through NetGalley.

I love reading memoirs because I love reading stories about people and their lives. This memoir by Aspen Matis revisited how she met her husband, Justin, and how he helped her to achieve her dream of becoming a writer. Then, as she’s closing in on finishing her first memoir, Justin disappears.

What I really loved about this book were the details of how Matis became a published writer and how the writing process of her first memoir went. I’ve never read anything similar before so I was very intrigued by the connections that led to her first book deal as well as the many setbacks and successes she experienced while writing her memoir. It was truly interesting to read and felt like a behind the scenes look at the making of a book.

The writing style was very easy to follow and conveyed its meaning well. However, for my taste it was little heavy on the colorful imagery. By colorful, I mean that literally. I liked how it nodded to the title and kept the theme alive by describing everything in color, but it seemed constant, as if half of the writing was real information and the other half was just colorful filler. For some it may paint a beautiful picture but for me it was a bit overkill.
Here are some lines from the writing that I did really like:

“’Every person exists in their own shallow bowl, and they can’t see over the rim,’ he explained. ‘But they think that their world is the world – the truth. When in reality, no two bowls are identical, and all people are stuck trapped in their own.’”

I just love the perspective Justin provides here; it is such an interesting way to view people. Although I did not agree with the way Justin handles things, he is still someone I can empathize with.

“This protest spoke to me – the human principles felt connected to the minimalist essence of long-distance hiking, the desire to strip away the smoke and mirrors of our country’s established society, revealing what remains in all its splendor: the magnificent, resilient human soul.”

For me, it is hard to imagine walking thousands of miles and crossing an entire country in a hiking trip. Nevertheless, I can definitely relate to this feeling. I am sure Matis’ first memoir reveals more about her hiking days but this one definitely left me wanting to know more.

“For years, I had been growing into the woman I most wanted to become – but now, when I considered what I sought in alcohol, I saw the pain I’d been creating whenever I got drunk was much bigger than the pain that I was numbing.”

I am glad that Matis decided to share her battles with alcohol and her use of it to numb her pain in a tough time. It is not often that people call it what it is when it comes to alcohol and I found her revelation refreshing.

Although this book is labeled as a “Missing Person Memoir”, I’m not sure that is how I would describe it. I was expecting some element of crime but this was not the case. And even though Justin’s disappearance is a major plot point, I was more interested in Aspen and her journey rather than what happened to Justin. I definitely kept turning pages to find out what happened to him, but also to find out what was going to happen to her.

Some things were conflicting for me to empathize with but overall I found this story to be fascinating. Even though the writing was a little frilly at times, I still really enjoyed reading it and would definitely recommend.

I struggled with this book. Maybe it’s because the author took a path, and then another path, and then another path that I never would have taken. I would have maybe taken her first journey which was the walk up the coast. She just thinks way differently than I do.I kept hoping that it would all make sense as I neared the end of the book.… That her decisions she made were because of the unspoken story that I waited to be revealed. Never happened. Thanks to NetGalley and publisher for ARC.

On one level, I loved this book. I had not read her previous book, so this was my first taste of her writing. At first glance, Aspen Matis is pretty inspirational. Having been raped in her first week of college, she packed her bags and hiked the Pacific Crest Trail solo from Mexico to Canada. This memoir reveals the next chapter in her life where she gets married at 20 and starts following her dream to become a writer. Three years on, her husband mysteriously disappears and she has no idea what has happened. At the same time, she has to fight to keep her fledgling book deal while battling her growing insecurity.

The sense of euphoria is captivating. Her sentences are lyrical and transporting. The self reflection is poignant and heartwarming.

On another level, many sentences are overwritten to an extent that can often be irritating. Her life is charmed by most standards and all of the moments when she struggles to pay her rent are unrealistic, given that she has comfortably well off parents and in-laws who are desperate to help. Few are lucky enough to have such safety nets, so when she refuses to ask for help, it comes across as self absorbed and spoilt.

In the end, she comes to the same conclusion so overall I enjoyed this memoir and do want to read her first.

I like memoirs but I really struggled with the writing in this at some points. It's a shame as I thought I would really get into it.
Thank you for the advanced copy.

I love a memoir. I, unfortunately, did not love this memoir. It has a super interesting premise; the author goes through significant trauma and the loss of her husband, and I truly do not want to criticize her way of processing this experience or her grief. I wanted to love this book, and I wish I had. The prose feels a bit over-wrought, to the point of it taking you out of the story. That being said, it is a compelling story, and you can understand the author's perspective and growth through the story.

I loved Aspen Matis' NYT Modern Love essay, so I was excited to learn more about that writing and publishing process in addition to gleaning an epilogue of sorts to that original narrative. However, the writing did not feel nearly as tight or strong to me in this memoir. There was an overload of descriptive imagery and many descriptions were recycled throughout the book so that images that might have been lovely on their own and in scarcity felt tired and overworked, maybe even cliched. Additionally, I wish the author had done more "showing" and less "telling"-- that is to say that nothing was left to the imagination. As a reader,I felt my intelligence was a bit insulted since the author felt the need to hold my hand through each passage. There were several opportunities where I felt less would have been more, especially during tense or emotional scenes. All that being said, I thought the dialogue was rendered in an authentic way and characterization was well done. The characters and my interest and empathy for them was what really pulled me through the narrative as a reader, which I would definitely count as a success.

This book is similar to Wild, by Cheryl Strayed. It is a deeply personal account of Aspen Matis writing about writing her book A Girl in the Woods. It was compelling enough for me to keep reading - I wanted to know more about the process of her writing her first book as well as what had happened to her husband. However, there were many times when I was so frustrated with the sheer amount of words she was using. From the title I figured that colour would be a predominant theme in the book; I just didn't realize how over used it would be. More than once I found myself having to reread a sentence or paragraph because I kept stumbling over her descriptions. They just didn't flow well.

This book was such a pleasant surprise! I ended up reading the entire story In a little over a day. It was definitely that good.
The story itself may not be that "new": young girl running from life meets older man, also running from life. They fall in love and marry. That is the barest of bones regarding this story though.
Debby/Aspen is such a delightful, complicated and vibrant character. The author made her come to life in so many different ways. I loved getting to know her through falling in love for the first time, her hopes and dreams and secret shames.
I was rooting for her as an individual and for them as a couple.
I'm so glad the book veered off the beaten path 1/2 way through, even though at the time I was frustrated and wanting it to return. I fell deeper in love with Aspen after that though and her complexities and confusions became my own.
I absolutely loved the use of the Joseph Conrad reference! I made note of that because it's something I had forgotten but it's so true.
I urge everyone who enjoys memoirs, coming of age stories,love, family. Heck, stories about Living the life we're given and making it our own.
This one is a keeper and I'm so very glad I got to read it.

Sigh. Aspen Matis is privileged for sure but she's also had a tough go if it. This installment in her memoirs documents her relationship with Justin, who she met and married and was happy with until he left. I usually have a tough time reviewing memoirs because it feels as though you are judging the author's life and life choices. This time, my issue is not with the choices but with the writing. I understand that Matis was trying to make a point with the colors but the prose is, let's be honest, pretty darn purple. There's a better book in here if some of the language had been stripped away. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC.

When she first met Justin in the summer of 2009 on hiking trip they have a connection. They are hiking from Mexico to Canada. He was almost thirty at the time. She left college a few weeks before year was over