Cover Image: Friends and Strangers

Friends and Strangers

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Member Reviews

Enjoyable, a nice character study and realistic. I got to know the characters well and was able to empathize with their motivation.

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I love J. Courtney Sullivan and this one totally delivered. I love stories that explore motherhood, and the loneliness that often comes with it. I loved that this book really delved into those feelings and made me feel so connected to the story. I also love books that explore deep family issues and relationship dynamics, and I felt that this book tackled those subjects in a way that was propulsive but also true to life. Another winner from this author for me!

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Friends and Strangers explores the dual perspectives of two women from very different times in their lives .Can we ever truly know anyone? Can we ever truly escape our past? Isn’t everyone who is a friend also, in many ways, a stranger?

While this was not my favorite J Courtney Sullivan book, I LOVED Saints for All Occasions and Maine, I did find this enjoyable. The friendship between Elisabeth and Sam was well written and the trials and tribulations of motherhood depicted with honesty.

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While I enjoyed this one, it was very similar to Such a Fun Age which I read earlier in 2020 and really liked. This one felt a little more chaotic and like it tried to tackle too many themes without doing any of them particularly well. If you're a fan of Sullivan it might be worth picking up but if you want to read something similar try Such a Fun Age.

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"Friends and Strangers" tells of a family leaving Brooklyn for a small town upstate. Elisabeth is grappling with motherhood, while her husband has lofty dreams of being an inventor. When she goes back to work as a writer, Elisabeth hires a babysitter, Sam, who becomes interwoven in their lives. I connected with the relationships in this book and love the layers unearthed throughout the book. Another successful novel by J. Courtney Sullivan!

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I finished this but it was a slog to get through. Honestly, I couldn't stand the character of Elisabeth. I thought she was a privileged white woman who thought she was better than everyone else but deluded herself and thought she was "just like everyone else." She wasn't and instead could give large sums of money to her also-selfish sister and pretend to cut her family out, except when she invited them over for Christmas? So much didn't work for me when it came to Elisabeth, her marriage, her decisions and her life. She kept large secrets from her husband and none of that was ever resolved.

Sam wasn't much better, in a relationshp with a guy she barely knew but was so blinded by "love" that she couldn't tell the difference? I couldn't understand this one either. She pretends to relate to the cafeteria workers, but only when it's convenient for her? She abandons her friends to talk to her "fiance" and then is upset when they don't include her. I just can't.

Then there is the hit-you-over-the-head plot of the "Hollow Tree." If I don't read that again for a long time, it will be too soon. I get it, I do. And I agree with it. But I don't need 10,000 examples to be given to me on why this is so important. Honestly, if Sullivan wanted to write that book, perhaps she should have instead of hiding it between unlikeable characters, a plot that went nowhere and character "development" within characters that didn't actually develop.

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I am sorry for the inconvenience but I don’t have the time to read this anymore and have lost interest in the concept. I believe that it would benefit your book more if I did not skim your book and write a rushed review. Again, I am sorry for the inconvenience.

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This book ticked many of my boxes. Family conflict? Check. Complex Female Friendships? Check. Exploration of Power? Check.

Elizabeth finds herself ripped from the streets of Brooklyn to a miniature white college town. Her husband has a dream, and this has landed her in a suburban nightmare. Her newborn baby Gil his her sole companion in this sleepy college town, until she decides to hire a babysitter - Sam. Most of the novel focuses on their relationship, and Elizabeth's attempt to craft Sam's life into one she deems appropriate.

There are power dynamics between the two women throughout the book, but sometimes it felt like this wasn't pushed far enough. Both women are described as 'information seekers' (read: snoopers). However, this doesn't really happen in the book. I wanted more Hollow Tree conspiracies!

Throughout the book there are many petty relationships between Elizabeth and her family members. Sam's relationships also seemed strained at the best of times.

This is a good suburban read for people who love family drama and small town gossip.

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From J. Courtney Sullivan, the bestselling author of MAINE and SAINTS FOR ALL OCCASIONS, comes FRIENDS AND STRANGERS, an insightful and unputdownable story about the surprising friendship between two very different women. Full of thought-provoking discussions of privilege, wealth and motherhood, it is an instant book club classic that is sure to inspire many a long, fulfilling conversation.

Elisabeth is an accomplished journalist and author who has just given birth to her first child, Gil, a happy, beautiful baby who has sent her on a crash course into motherhood, a journey that she still isn’t sure she meant to sign up for. Since welcoming her son, she and her husband, Andrew, have relocated to a small town in upstate New York, away from the hustle and bustle of the Big Apple, the glittering but cutthroat world where they fell in love. Although the move has given them the opportunity to buy a gorgeous house and placed them geographically closer to Andrew’s parents (both a plus for the free sitters and a minus for the proximity), it also has given Elisabeth a serious case of “the grass is greener” syndrome. Even worse, she is hiding a sizable (to the tune of $300,000) secret from her husband and struggling to come up with an idea for her next book, let alone sit down and write it.

In alternating chapters, Sullivan introduces readers to Sam, who is much more than a simple collegiate. Sam comes from a modest middle-class home, and though her family is full of love and support, she has had to pay for most of her schooling on her own. That’s all fine with her until she actually arrives at college and meets and befriends girls from a very different economic class. Her roommate, Isabella, is generous, but is also used to charging expensive dinners and trips to her father’s credit card. Although Sam wants to keep up, she knows she cannot. Even with her job in the school’s cafeteria, she is an outsider --- less privileged than her wealthy classmates, but certainly far more well off than her Latina coworkers, all of whom struggle under the college’s treatment of service workers (though they acknowledge that anything is better than what their poorer relatives have to endure). On top of all of this, Sam is dealing with a controversial relationship with Clive, an older man she met while abroad in London.

For whatever reason --- timing, fate, sheer luck --- Elisabeth and Sam hit it off instantly when Sam becomes Gil’s babysitter. Though the two attempt to err on the side of professionalism, it is not long before Elisabeth is inviting Sam over for dinners and to watch their favorite television show. The two talk over wine and TV drama; before long, they each fill a void within the other, taking on the roles of mother, sister, daughter and best friend all at once. Sullivan is masterful in crafting their unusual bond: their friendship is neither toxic nor unhealthy, yet the reader constantly senses that it cannot last. As they grow closer and their personal lives become more convoluted, the book takes on the pacing of a thriller, with an unfavorable outcome certain, but no menacing villain lurking just out of sight to send them crashing.

The “villain,” so to speak, comes in the form of Elisabeth’s father-in-law, George. George was once a proud small business owner who showed up at the office every morning to polish his Lincoln Town Car, fill it with bottled water, and shuttle people around to airports, appointments and parties. But just when business was booming, he bought three more expensive cars and was immediately shut down by the arrival of Uber. Since then, he has become obsessed with the idea that while America appears outwardly successful and prosperous, there are systemic inequalities and hierarchies at hand that are set on crushing the little man and helping the wealthy prosper. He calls his theory the “hollow tree,” based on the notion that a tree can look healthy on the outside, but will quickly crumble if the inside is rotten.

I should make it clear now that while George is certainly no villain --- he is sweet, charming and dedicated to his cause in the most inspiring ways --- he does become the catalyst for the breakdown of Elisabeth and Sam’s friendship when he begins to highlight his beliefs to Sam and lets it slip that Elisabeth comes from a wealthy background herself. Though Elisabeth and Sam spent many a night discussing Elisabeth’s early years in New York City, living with four roommates and waitressing, and that she somehow managed to live through her student debt, George’s revelation exposes to Sam that even someone as kind and friendly as Elisabeth can have a blind spot when it comes to her own privilege. Sam, too, comes to realize that she has her own blind spots, particularly when she takes on the case of her Latina coworker, Gaby. Gaby must pay for expensive childcare when she reports to the wealthy college’s cafeteria, even though the school provides free childcare for professors.

FRIENDS AND STRANGERS is a masterful exploration of privilege and the ways that each of us benefit from an unequal system, even if we know there is somebody just one rung above us on the ladder to success and happiness. Elisabeth and Sam are from wildly different backgrounds and tax brackets, yet they share an all-consuming sense of loneliness, and a feeling that they finally will be happy if. Their friendship is full of nuance and hidden power structures, yet it is, at its heart, a fulfilling and happy union --- and this is how Sullivan reels you in. She describes so astutely the sense of missing out and the notion that we can each rise up if we just work a little harder, wear the right things, make the right friends and be ready at the right moment. But as George reminds us, there is always a system set in place to keep us down.

I will be the first to say that while I quite literally could not put down FRIENDS AND STRANGERS, it does come at a shocking length for a contemporary work focusing on only two main characters. Sullivan makes up for this by providing a new brilliant observation or kernel of drama on nearly every page, but I can see this being a long haul for those looking for a lighter summer read. That said, it is perfect for book clubs and discussions with friends. Although I did not touch upon it here, Sullivan also includes several worthy plot points about motherhood and feminism that are equally as powerful as the main theme of privilege.

Highly recommended for readers of A GOOD NEIGHBORHOOD, WHISPER NETWORK and ASK AGAIN, YES, FRIENDS AND STRANGERS is a stunning book, full of terrific characters who leap off the page, real-world connections and just enough discourse to really make you think. I am quickly adding Sullivan’s backlist to my indie bookstore e-cart as I type.

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Personally, I really struggled with this one. I heard great things about it, and it was a common book club pick so I was excited when I received my "wish" for it here on Netgalley, but it just wasn't the book for me.

With a gorgeous cover and all the hype, I thought for sure it would be a book I would love, as a momma myself. When I first started the title, I struggled with it, so I put it down and decided I would come back to it, but upon doing so I just felt like the subject matter was something I had already read often, and while I think J. Courtney Sullivan wrote it beautifully and the characters were at times relatable, it wasn't a book that wowed me and I wanted to LOVE it.

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The writing quality is okay but not exceptional. The main character's storyline seemed a bit haphazard, and I couldn't see appeal in any of the characters. Did not care about the main or side characters for the pages I read and didn't finish the book.

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Sullivan perfectly captures the nuance of the mother-babysitter relationship and how it straddles so many boundaries. Making mom friends is worse than dating, in my opinion, and I love how Sullivan illustrates that weirdness.

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The main character has -what I suppose you would call- a cynical sense of humor, but to me just sounded a bit whiny. I kept hoping there would be an interesting plot twist but it just didn't happen.
The main character plods along, seemingly bothered by the new town she lives in, the shallow neighborhood women, her in-laws, her husband. Why don’t we just say her life? She befriends her nanny, a college senior whom she lives vicariously through. Which sounds like it might be fun but isn't really. The nanny idolizes her, unaware of the main character’s lack of enthusiasm for life and negativity. Was the theme "grass is greener"? Elizabeth lives vicariously through her nanny, and vise versa her nanny idolizes her, however no one is really having a good time.

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What a fun book! The two perspectives were equally compelling and I"m looking forward to including in my next roundup.

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although I've liked her other titles, this one was a disappointment. The story seemed predictable and never really got going.

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A story of a friendship between Elisabeth and Samantha, two women at different stages of life who help each other at difficult times in their lives. It is a wonderful read with complicated characters.

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I have read the author's other books and have always found her flair for storytelling compelling. I feel the same way about her writing style in her latest book. She knows how to weave a story with characters that you truly want to see what happens to them. The writing style is this book would get the same kudos. However, the plot didn't seem to live up to my expectations. Perhaps it seemed a little bit too timely with so much thrown in concerning today's society that it seemed too much to enjoy. The friendship between the two needy women just seemed a bit too intense. Still a good read but not up to previous ones.

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I really enjoyed this book and the characters were well developed. Elisabeth & Sam have an extraordinary friendship that you want in real life. Thank you NetGalley for an advanced reader copy of this book.

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This book is gossipy in the classiest of ways. I could relate to the main character as a new mother--the desperate loneliness inherent in caring for a baby manifested in scrolling Facebook at 2 am. I would absolutely recommend for fans of Emma Straub and Such a Fun Age.

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I wanted to love this book, as I admire Jenna Bush and I love that she has a book club. However, I just couldn't get into it, and I decided not to try to finish it. Perhaps I am a bit too old for it, and I am also not a mom-just couldn't relate to the characters. Thank you for the opportunity to read this title.

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