Cover Image: Rules for Being a Girl

Rules for Being a Girl

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Member Reviews

This was a quick read and a great introduction to feminism for young readers.

We all had that one teacher who was just a little too casual with their students (and if you went to my school then you experienced a few, and they weren't just men either).

I remember girls whispering about how hot teachers were and feeling so confused. To me there was such a strong line drawn in the sand. I am a student. They are a teacher. That shit is gross and wrong. Maybe the fact that I had younger parents, who were closer in age to the young 'hot' teachers contributed to this. Mostly I think it was because I was brought up with a mother who was very aware of what dangers lurk in the shadows near adults and taught me to see the signs.

I was lucky. I had someone who prepared me for the worst. Most girls aren't so lucky, and, let me be very clear on this, no matter how much or how little they know of the dangers, they are never responsible for being taken advantage of by the adults who are trusted to look after them.

This is the lesson Rules for Being a Girl contains in it's pages.

I found the characterisations honest and true to life. Bex reminds you of that teacher that all the girls crushed on and who didn't set appropriate boundaries. Marin is smart and sharp but it doesn't matter how smart you are, as a teenage girl, you are always at risk of being preyed upon. We get to watch Marin grow and strengthen in her convictions, her truth and that was wonderful to see.

I just wish there was more. What that more is... I'm not entirely sure but I do know that I was hoping for more anger. Maybe I'm wrong in feeling this but I really just wanted Marin to go off. She has so many conflicting emotions building within her for the duration of this book and I really just wanted her to explode. She kind of does in the book but I felt she was justified in giving a much bigger, louder response.

It's okay for survivors to deal with their trauma quietly, and for some that is the best way to heal and I'm not invalidating that. I just will always want more books that give teenage girls permission to be furious, blind and rightful in their anger. There's so much to be angry at during that time in a girls life, that when you add this on top of it?? I wouldn't blame them for a bright, ear-ringing explosion. Lord knows girls everywhere deserve to experience it and the world deserves to hear it.

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I really wanted to like this book more than I did. It has relevance in a #metoo world, highlights the imbalance of power structures between teachers and students, and for young adolescents, it could be a real eye-opener into inequality and an intro to feminism.

But as an adult woman, this book was more cookie-cutter than confronting and really didn’t hit the spot. True feminism is so much more than the inequality between men and women, and yet the only note of other marginalised groups gets one sentence in one paragraph.

The title made me think that it would be more...I don’t know, feistier, and have more grit. But the characters were blander than than a starched white tablecloth and unfortunately fell victim to the typical clichés of American high school stories. And it moved far too quickly through time to really absorb the implications of all that the protagonist was going through. Things felt a little too glossed over, like okay done, onto the next the issue...

And honestly the romance was really ill-placed. But at least there wasn’t a bloody love triangle...

Okay, I’ve discussed why it didn’t work for me. Now I’ll focus on what did. The writing was great. I thought it was engaging and rang authentically enough for a mature and intelligent 17 year old. The book was also really easy to get through and it didn’t take a lot of brain effort to read it, which in this current world climate is a must!

I also liked how the MC didn’t get so bogged down in her own shit and self-pity and found new friends. It subtly showed the empowerment of resilience and finding those who will care about you when others have turned their backs.

Thank you to Candace Bushnell, Katie Cotugno, Pan Macmillan Australia, and NetGalley for an arc of this book in exchange for an honest review.

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This was a powerful read about the rules and expectations thrust upon women from a young age.

I thought I would have enjoyed reading this story just that bit more than I did. It seemed quite rushed and the characters weren't as developed as I'd expected by the end of the novel.

Still, It's an important type of story to be told, and I feel as though it will be eye opening for younger readers.

Thank you to the publisher for providing me with a copy of this E-book to review via Netgalley.

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“You’re a good girl,” she continues, “but you don’t always have to be so good.” Then she raises her eyebrows, mischievous. “Lord knows I wasn’t.”

OH MY HEART ❤ MY SWEET SINGING FIERY FEMINIST HEART 🔥 YES YES YESSSS 💪 This book is glorious from cover to cover and I read it in one day because I couldn't put it down.

This book is so achingly true and everything I wish I could have been as a teen but unfortunately I went down a slightly darker detour into I found the inner strength to overcome. Our protagonist Marin however? OH 👏MY👏GOD👏 I have never been so proud of a character as I have of this girl 😍 her fire and drive us beyond admirable and this book is just YES. YESSSS YES YESSSS 👏

The story starts with Marin getting closer to her young male teacher until he actually kisses her. The book then follows her journey of rebellion and biting back at a system that so often tries to silence survivors 😡 BUT MARIN HANDLES IT LIKE A QUEEN 👑

Seriously. I am so in love with this book and it's a AWE INSPIRING reminder to not be afraid to fight back 🔥

Review will be live on all socials in the coming days (by end of next week)

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Hi all!

Today I am back to review another new release – Rules for Being a Girl by Candace Bushnell and Katie Cotugno – which was published just 2 days ago. I was permitted to read an ARC (Advanced Reader Copy) thanks to NetGalley. This young-adult novel follows Marin, an ambitious student who finds herself in a strange position when her English teacher tries to kiss her. When Marin decides to speak out and report him, nobody believes her; including her best friend. Marin is determined for everybody to know the truth. This story highlights the importance of being heard as a woman in a world that predominately favours men. As always, I am going to provide my honest thoughts and let you know whether I think it’s worth checking out or not. Without further ado, let’s get into it!

Trigger Warnings: sexual harassment from a teacher.

WHAT THIS BOOK DOES RIGHT
The moral of the story is perfection! As a woman, I know what it is like to be treated differently/unfairly based on my gender. This book is so similar to What Kind of Girl which I reviewed earlier this year. You can check that out here. I found the story to be extremely compelling, heartbreaking and well-written. Marin is a very admirable character. After her teacher makes his move, she is not afraid to speak out against the injustice. She also launches a feminist book club at her school and writes a passionate article in the school paper called ‘Rules for Being a Girl’ which is the inspiration for the title. She dumps her jerk of an ex-boyfriend and tries to educate her friends on what is wrong with the patriarchal society. If you’re a feminist, you’ll love this story. There is plenty of strong character development and powerful themes. I will also add, Marin has great, supportive parents which is very rare in YA fiction.

WHAT THIS BOOK DOES WRONG
I have two minor issues with this book. The first being lack of representation. The protagonist is white, the love interest is white, the teacher is white, the best-friend is white etc. I wish it had been a little more inclusive of colour, race and sexuality. The second issue was with the love interest. He felt…unnecessary? I’m guessing the only reason he was there was to show that not all men are sexist, but we didn’t need him. This wasn’t about men. It was about females and how they are treated. I personally thought he didn’t add anything or substance to the story.

I gave this book 4.5/5 stars.

If you are interested, you can order a copy here.

I hope you enjoyed this honest review. Let me know your thoughts down below. I appreciate all feedback. Thanks for reading!

Peace & Love xoxo

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This is an excellent YA book which explores the casual and direct sexism that women are exposed to. It is an easy read, but covers some excellent feminist principles and is a good guide for young people about standing up for yourself and speaking out. The main character, Marin goes from acceptance of the casual sexism that is rife in her high school, to questioning why it should be her that is in the wrong when a teacher oversteps the boundaries between teacher and student. She decides that she will not be treated like it is her fault. If I had a teenage child I would have them read it and read along with them. An excellent book.

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ℝ𝕦𝕝𝕖𝕤 𝔽𝕠𝕣 𝔹𝕖𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔸 𝔾𝕚𝕣𝕝

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

“I want to ask her if she also feels like there are all these guidelines we’re supposed to be following in exchange for the alleged privilege of walking around this world as a teenage girl: be flirty but not too flirty. Be confident but not aggressive. Be funny but in a low-key, quiet way. Eat cheeseburgers, don’t get fat. Be chill but don’t lose control.”

Rules for being a girl is a contemporary YA that is written from the point of view of Marin, a young women who is about to graduate school and has big plans of heading to Brown when she graduates to study journalism. All of a sudden her world is thrown upside down when a teacher who she admires makes advances on her.

Rules for being a girl explores the misogyny and sexism that girls face every day but it also navigates its way through relationships - with friends, with siblings, with grandparents and intimate relationships all in such a thoughtful way. Very relatable and took me back to my time of being a teenager.

I really enjoyed reading this and would recommend if you’re looking for something that explores feminism, has an extremely likeable and relatable protagonist and is just an all round easy book to get into and read.

Thank you Pan Macmillan Australia and Netgalley for the ARC, in exchange for an honest opinion.

Authors - Candace Bushnell & Katie Cotugno
Publisher - Pan Macmillan Australia

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Hell to the yes.
It's been a while since I read such a fierce feminist-YA read, and WHATAMIDOINGWITHMYLIFE.

This book was legen-wait-for-it...dary.
I love YA novels that get it right. This book was an anthem for my soul, and was a reminder of all the things I fight for every day.
It brings you right back to the times in which you've been discriminated against, and made to follow these rules for being a girl. And it sucks. And this book gets it.

The way this story was structured was absolutely brilliant. I was worried at the beginning where it could go, but OH MY LORDY LORD, this book has me sold.
And what I love about this book oh-so-much, is it's like a first-book of feminism for YA readers.
Why?
It starts off with a regular teenage-story, and then things start to feel a little uncomfortable. Like things could either work out, or things could go right down the drain. And then reactions of people who treat the situation like they shouldn't, and ones that treat it the way it deserves to be treated. This book is like positive reinforcement - it's like a gentle (but somehow also a firm) nudge in the direction of feminism. And it's not just white-feminism either. It's FEMINISM. I freaking love it.

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Marin is on track to get everything she's ever worked for...until she is derailed. The result is her recognition of casual sexism, double standards, and inequality between boys and girls. Hits just the right tone for a YA book about serious issues. Not too confrontational but definitely illuminates the issues dealt with. I was immersed in Marin's world, unabashedly privileged, but empathized with her problems. A great read for pre- and young teens.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read this book.

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Rules For Being a Girl by Candace Bushnell, Katie Cotugno

Marin is a good student, a good friend, a good girlfriend. She’s on track to head to Brown - top of her college wish list - and everything seems to be going perfectly. Until one day, her hot, young English teacher invites her upstairs to collect a book from his apartment… and kisses her.

This book touched on a number of really important topics. Marin does everything right after the encounter with Bex (her hot male English teacher and the staff member attached to her Newspaper extra curricular). She speaks out, telling the principal, her parents, and her best friend, Chloe. While her parents are outraged, and her principal insists that of course the school will look into the allegations, her discussion with Chloe is less positive. When Chloe suggests that perhaps Marin “was confused” or “misread the situation”, Marin is understandably upset. The friendship between the two suffers from this point on, with Marin unable to fathom how her closest friend could say such a thing.
One night, she compiles a list of Rules for Being a Girl - many contradictory as well as sexist - and publishes it as an editorial piece in her school newspaper. The backlash of both the sexual harrassment accusation and the feminist editoral leads Marin to form new friendships, re-assess her own part in the treatment of other students at her school, and see the overall bigger picture.
“...mostly I’m just sort of numb. It’s like I keep waiting for some cinematic moment to signal I’m totally over everything that happened, that means it’s all done and dusted. But the hard, frustrating reality is that all I can do is move on one day at a time.”
I appreciated that Marin didn’t just get over it, that the authors included all the small ripples her allegation caused. Just stepping up and saying something happened is never the end of the story.
Did I feel that this book could easily be twice the length? Yes! Did that matter? Not too much. I felt like I was left with a desire to read some of the books and essays the Feminist Book Club talk about, which I beleive is a good thing! Wanting to learn more after reading a novel is never a bad thing. I hope it will inspire more young people to do the same.
Marin was a strong character, and though she may have run away from her problems at time, and lashed out at times, this only served to make her feel more realistic. While I can see that some people would simply read this and scoff, saying that she was a jumped-up-feminist, I think that kind of proves the authors point. We need to step out of our bubbles to see the harm being inflicted on others (the feminst book club discuss the fact that the girls volleyball team, despite being reigning champions, have to make their own way to their games, while the lacrosse boys get a school-sponsored bus; they also discuss the discrepancies in oft-cited figures, such as average salaries, where the ‘female’ examples given are most often those of white females, not all females).
I was also glad to have what felt like a genuine portrayal of a relative with Alzheimers ( not that I can speak to close personal experience, but I do have some anecdotal experience through loosely connected family). It wasn’t made a big scene of, but also added to the story in a way that didn’t feel like a) a diversity insert, or b) a way to fill space.
Content Warning - slut shaming, gaslighting, Alzheimers
Overall Rating - 4 stars

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