Cover Image: Why Bother

Why Bother

Pub Date:   |   Archive Date:

Member Reviews

Due to a sudden, unexpected passing in the family a few years ago and another more recently and my subsequent (mental) health issues stemming from that, I was unable to download this book in time to review it before it was archived as I did not visit this site for several years after the bereavements. This meant I didn't read or venture onto netgalley for years as not only did it remind me of that person as they shared my passion for reading, but I also struggled to maintain interest in anything due to overwhelming depression. I was therefore unable to download this title in time and so I couldn't give a review as it wasn't successfully acquired before it was archived. The second issue that has happened with some of my other books is that I had them downloaded to one particular device and said device is now defunct, so I have no access to those books anymore, sadly.

This means I can't leave an accurate reflection of my feelings towards the book as I am unable to read it now and so I am leaving a message of explanation instead. I am now back to reading and reviewing full time as once considerable time had passed I have found that books have been helping me significantly in terms of my mindset and mental health - this was after having no interest in anything for quite a number of years after the passings. Anything requested and approved will be read and a review written and posted to Amazon (where I am a Hall of Famer & Top Reviewer), Goodreads (where I have several thousand friends and the same amount who follow my reviews) and Waterstones (or Barnes & Noble if the publisher is American based). Thank you for the opportunity and apologies for the inconvenience.

Was this review helpful?

Why Bother? Not to be too brutal, but that is what I felt about half way through this book. While this self-help piece is meant to be empowering, motiving, uplifting, etc, I felt it kind of just dragged on a bit. It's always great hearing about the author's perspective, but sometimes it cause me to zone. I feel like this book may be for some people, but I couldn't connect.

Was this review helpful?

Living life can be so overwhelming when you are dealing with societal pressure and timelines and trying to be brave enough to do what you want and this book was such a breath of fresh air for me.

Was this review helpful?

Whew, this took forever to get through. I'll be honest, I wasn't as engaged as I expected to be. In fact, I had to force myself to finish reading. While the message contained within the book is sound (basically find the courage to care and be vulnerable with your desires), I felt it got lost in the memoir-style narration the author employed. She used many examples from her life to the point that it took over the narrative and meandered away from the point the text was trying to make, so by the time I reached the end of the chapter I had completely forgotten what we were supposed to be talking about.

Nevertheless, Louden has a fun, compassionate voice and takes great care to have in mind all situations that could make it hard to get your bother on. I also appreciated her vulnerability and candidness when speaking about difficult subjects, something that ultimately allowed me to exercise just a little bit of kindness when it comes to my own shortcomings.

Was this review helpful?

If you're on your couch stewing about how you no longer have a job because someone ate a bat, and you no longer have a house because someone threw one of those lame gender reveal parties, this might be the book for you. Louden counsels you not to fight the feeling of "why bother?" but to use it as a way forward, doing the work of envisioning what comes next, aka, "how to bother." It's also refreshing that Louden acknowledges that she is privileged enough that the struggles she's had were not actual survival, as they are for many people. So many self-help books are completely tone-deaf to the fact that not everyone can afford basic needs, let alone self-care appointments, so this book is a better fit for the world we live in now.

Thanks to the publishers and NetGalley for a digital ARC for the purpose of an unbiased review.

Was this review helpful?

*This* is the book that I have reached for the most during the pandemic! I had been in a reading slump since the craptastic events began and everything Jen writes in the book has gone through my head. I feel so seen!
There's no way she could have predicted that large swaths of the population would need a book like this at this exhausting time, yet here it is.

It's at the top of my recommendation stack for anyone who is overwhelmed by living and would do anything for a burst of inspiration. Luckily, that energy comes in book form.

The highest of recommendations! This is a must-read NOW!

Was this review helpful?

An insightful book on how to find and honour your desires. As always, good writing and some very personal stories that brought Louden's message to life. I especially enjoyed the thought-provoking questions at the end of each chapter. An uplifting read with a fantastic conclusion that I will probably re-read it from time to time!

Was this review helpful?

I really wanted to like this book. I pushed through to the very end, hopeful it would come together for me in some way, but unfortunately it did not. The premise is enticing – this book breaks down how to ease out of life’s low points to find what you ultimately desire and what will bring you the most satisfaction. The writing was poignant and inviting, and I will admit that while reading, I would occasionally feel entranced by certain passages and trains of thought. I also particularly enjoyed when the author recounted stories from her own life to support her ideas; these sections are probably what stand out most vividly in my mind when I think about this book.

Despite this, Why Bother’s overall message got lost in long, rambling chapters and repetitive ideas. Yes, if you read the table of contents, you see that it follows a certain sequence, a path to follow while you are on this journey. However, I feel this book would have worked better for me as a compilation of meditations: short chapters to read slowly, ponder, and absorb as you drink your morning tea. Halfway through this book, I literally could not tell you what it was about or who the target audience was. The messages are lovely, but they are too broad, each chapter feels belabored and protracted, and even at that, I did not walk away feeling like I had anything new in my back pocket.

I am sure some people could find value in this book, but it just was not for me.

Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for the opportunity to preview this book.

Was this review helpful?

Interesting read on the subject, but it's really similar to other books I've read. I don't feel that I've learned much from it.

Was this review helpful?

JUST BUY THIS BOOK.

End of review. Period. Nothing further required. Warning - it may change your life completely.

Where do I start about this book? I needed this book right now to fall into my hands and I can honestly say with all of my heart that I will never live my life the same way again. It's almost impossible to really describe the way the book has impacted me and how I believe it can impact anyone who absorbs it.

Why Bother? That is the question. The answers in this book are not only what I call epiphany lightbulb messages but if applied to your life, it cannot do anything BUT change for the better. This is not about fluffy positive mental attitude or staring at a candle saying "OHM" over and over. It's not self-help, it's more than that. See how I can't get the words to review it?

Why do we do so much in life that does not serve us, or make us happy? Rushing around, listening to the "shoulds` in our minds. Spending time doing things that will never bring us any joy? It doesn't have to be like that. Jennifer talks of everything from just "sitting" - which involves slowing down, or setting aside a few hours, a day, a week, whatever works for you and just listening to what you need RIGHT NOW. Not tomorrow, not next week but in that moment, for that day. Then giving yourself those things that you desire.

How do we numb ourselves? Everyday life addictions that block us from our real selves, true connection and actually being alive, fully engaged. What are your addictions? She talks of many, online games (I am guilty of playing every single version of Candy Crush for HOURS during this Coronavirus lockdown`), bingeing for hours on Netflix, stuffing our faces with food and not even noticing, then beating ourselves up about it. `As for social media? `Is it working for you? Does seeing somebody's "beautiful" life and comparing it to yours really good for you? Are you exhausted from keeping up your image or brand on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and then realising that you don't know the real you anymore?

Are you tired of being a yes person? Do you caretake for others out of guilt or seeking praise and admiration. This book will really let you see (if you let it) what really matters and how to live life differently. I needed this book right now. I am having a mid-life crisis, only 2 years from my fiftieth birthday. Chronic illness, botched surgeries, divorce, being unable to continue my publicity work and so much more has me in a shades of grey place. Not the sexy version. I had said to myself "Why Bother?" to so many things in life. Many of us do.

Jennifer urges us to tap into our desires, dig deep into what we really want to do and how we want to live life then simply doing it. She gives you the tools though. Sharing her own journey was powerful as are the stories of others who just found that they were saying Why Bother way to much. What resonated with me was when Jennifer realised that her years of dreaming and striving and working to be a writer and make it big with screenplays wasn't working for her. She wanted to be successful with it. It meant a lot. It was what she thought she was going to be/do. A voice inside was saying "let it go`. It was an inner battle but she did. What came of that was a whole new direction and a number of bestselling books. We don't need to do anything for a minute that makes us unhappy. We have choices. Lots of them.

The book has helped me look at my current messy divorce differently. It was an abusive marriage. I have been grieving giving 13 years to a man who never ever loved me. I have been beating myself up for not seeing his narcissism, that I was being abused and that I stayed so long. Jennifer talks of others like me, with this as one example of how viewpoints can change. In fact, I am a survivor, I am strong, I overcame and I am healing my body and mind. I have a wonderful new man in my life, that I did not expect to meet only months after separation. Am I going to let the past, the loveless years steal my happiness from my now and my future. Now I have read Jennifer's book - HELL NO! I love you Jennifer.

With a heart for women, for empowering and encouraging, Jennifer hits the mark with this book. My review has touched on maybe 5% of what is in the book. I had emotions running through me when reading every single word. Somehow, you just GET IT. That's what the book does.

No matter where you are in life right now, I guarantee you that this book can and will change your life in some way for the better. It can be so simple as stopping all the noise, the internet, the TV, the emails that yell at you for instant response, the messages on Facebook you really have no energy for and finding things that bring you joy. This morning, before writing this review one of my cats came to me and was just loving being stroked and cuddled. He purred and looked at me with unconditional love in his eyes. He was in the moment. Receiving the love. Cats get it. Instead of rushing that time because I needed to write this review/have my morning coffee/play some Candy Crush/start a new book/answer my emails blah blah blah I just grabbed the joy I felt.

Oh man, I don't feel like I am giving this book the kudos it deserves. What I hope is you will read this book for yourself. Buy it for your friends and family. Borrow it from someone. Just read it. I have read so many "self-help" books for over 25 years and this is not really in that category but it has had more impact on me than all of them rolled together. Honest to God. I thought at times that Jennifer was somehow spying on my life and reading my mind then wrote this book for me.

Utterly brilliant. Jennifer embraced all the things she teaches in her book and I am on that journey now myself. Today is day one of a brand new way of being me. I am so darn excited and ready (outstanding considering I am currently diagnosed with depression and anxiety and have really been saying a lot of WHY BOTHER?).

Find the meaning and purpose in your life and go for it. First step? Grab the book and get ready.

Was this review helpful?

This was such an amazing book. Most self-help books tear you down to bring you back up, but this one empowers you instantly. Why Bother? encourages you to embrace yourself as you are; messy, flawed, imperfect, and to practice love and acceptance anyway.

I am personally going through a career transition, which is what inspired me to read this book. I found so much value in her words, as she drives home the point that you are always worthy of following your dreams and that there is never a 'right time.' You create that right time.

Was this review helpful?

The thing about this book is that it gets a little too long-winded, so much so that at the end of every chapter, I'll go, "Wait, what did she say again?" The author does get very personal, constantly picking out examples from her own life as well as others'. In a way, it does help to connect with readers at different stages of their lives. But it can get too much, and the whole point of that particular portion of the book gets lost in it. Sometimes I even wonder if the example used is entirely appropriate, because then I'd think, "Did she just contradict herself?" These examples can get so long that I forget what she wanted to teach. If they were written to the point, I would have liked it more. The first four chapters of this book is what I enjoyed most.

What I did manage to take home from the 70% that I managed to pull through are meaningful though. What spoke to me most was this quote, an observation from someone the author knows:

"Now that I think about it, the overall gaslighting [of my anger] was the most toxic. Losing trust in my feelings and experiences after being gaslighted made it so easy to not trust my intuition. That's my road to apathy."

There are also many relatable quotes along the way that I love. They allowed me to love myself a little more, be kinder with myself. It would have been more enjoyable if the author hadn't added length to her already thought-provoking content. I couldn't wait for it to finish, and so I decided to do myself a favour and end it.

Why did I bother? Because I want to enjoy reading books that are not as torturous and mind-boggling to get through.

Was this review helpful?

This is the book I had no idea needed until I started reading. In WHY BOTHER, Jennifer Louden offers stop-you-in-your everyday thinking and feeling ruts with questions that make you take another look. She shares her own doubts, fears, and failures and the unexpected, unforeseen joy that comes with letting go of what you thought you needed and should be to live your own authentic, fully present life. Her rousing fresh perspective flips you past the dour depression that comes with believing you've come to the end of everything, knowing you will never be enough, never be happy, not now or ever. This book changed me--and came at the perfect time to reassess, to dig deep and discover desire, and to choose from within. I've been a fan of Louden's work for many years, participated in workshops and treasured her clear-sighted compassion and profound wisdom, but this book changed admiration to awe, at her courage and what she created and what she offers to us. I am grateful to Louden, her publisher, and NetGalley for offering me an advance reader copy for my unbiased review.

Was this review helpful?

Jennifer Louden is a personal growth coach who leads writing retreats and online communities to help women identify their deepest desires and overcome the obstacles to achieve them. She is the author of eight books on self-care and personal empowerment. Her most recent book, “Why Bother?,” guides her reader through personal anecdotes, questions, and checklists to “discover the desire for what’s next.”

“Why Bother?” is Louden’s answer to a world of increasingly debilitating stress. Each chapter introduces one of her six steps to living a more true life: “Leave Behind” what does not work for you, “Ease In” to change, “Settle” into a new stillness and taking inventory, act on your “Desire”, “Become by Doing” and taking action, and “Be Seen” as the person you want to become.

The introductory part of the book starts strong with quotable prose in her fresh and relatable voice, but loses steam over its four chapters. Part 2 is jam-packed with information, but, as the author notes, not all of it is useful for every reader. It has nuggets of value but you have to sift through the gravel to find them. Not all of the anecdotes spoke to me, some seem redundant, and the items pulled into bullet points are often trite, rhyming aphorisms that try too hard to be clever. The better stuff is found in the midst of the longer personal stories.

I do not typically read in the self-help genre. I have read some of Brené Brown’s work, which I liked but didn’t love. I took away some bits and pieces from “Why Bother?” that I plan to use, but I would put up a caution sign: Your own mileage may vary.

Overall: Jennifer Louden’s “Why Bother” might be the antidote to your overwhelm or malaise—or it might not. ★★★.

Thank you to Net Galley and Page Two Books for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for my honest review. Expected publication: April 21, 2020.

Was this review helpful?

The title of the book was very attractive and I had a hope that I will enjoy the book. I also read some wonderful review. But I could not connect with the book. I just could not continue post 25% of the book as it seemed really monotonous on the tone. It did not excite me to continue reading further.

Thank you publisher, author and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange of an honest review.

Was this review helpful?

This was my first time reading anything by Jennifer Louden. This book isn't what I expected, but it definitely has me thinking about my life and my bother in a new way. This isn't like most self-help books where a reader is given encouraging generic statements and then told to simply go after their dreams. Louden tells readers to slow down, settle into themselves, and discover what they really want, big or small. The author suggests people take a "desire retreat" where they set aside a specific amount of time, ask themselves what they want, and then follow through on that want until they want something else. It seems so basic, but as a person who hasn't known what she's really, actually wanted for years it's nowhere close to a simple, basic exercise. In fact, I found the idea to be quite daunting. I'm grateful to have read this book during this time of my life. Why Bother is full of useful suggestions and interesting insights to help anyone work through their blah, why bother state.

Was this review helpful?

This book is full of insights and interesting quotes, plus every chapter evolves around real-life examples from the author.

I have to admit I'm in a good place in my life, so I didn't need this book right now. Louden's advices are easy to follow and could really help you out. If you feel stuck in your life right now, this book could really make you move forward.

Was this review helpful?

Life is hectic and can be overwhelming, this book give good information as to balance and keeping everything going without feeling as if you are always sacrificing.
This book can be helpful to anyone because the guidance fits with all situations.
It is simple to understand and written in a positive and encouraging way. Very glad this was offered and grateful I read it.

Was this review helpful?

Why Bother? by Jennifer Louden In feeling unsettled, defeated and depressed, the ideas in the book comes at the time when help and support is needed. Have highlighters, pens, and notebooks at the ready, there are a multitude of ideas to explore and contemplate. As the Woman’s Comfort Book did in 2005, Why Brother? is helpful in going through life's rough patches in the 2020s.

Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for the opportunity to preview the book.

Was this review helpful?

A book that’s a perfect guide to how to rise from depression how to take control ,live and enjoy our lives.The author has wonderful advice a terrific personality and writing stye I really gained valuable insights .#netgalley #pagetwobooks

Was this review helpful?