Thank you NetGalley for providing me with this Arc to review. This book is a great memoir by Kyl Myers that provides not just a excellent glimpse into the parenting gender style that many parents have chosen to adopt with their children. It focuses on the trials and tribulations of what it is like raising a they/them child. I thought this was generally a good book, but its focus was mainly positives of this parenting style.

This is a memoir by a non-binary fem presenting parent who raised their child as non-binary until they were old enough to choose for themselves. This book was disappointing because I expected a how to guide, but that isn't what this is. It is more a reflection on their experience. I appreciated the look, but I would have appreciated more about the mechanics of it. Overall, I think it is a fascinating approach, one that seems like good way to avoid societal pressures of what a person should be like based solely on how their sex is interpreted at birth. The thing is, I don't think this book does much to make that argument, not that it is necessarily trying to. I think the motivation is self evident, at least more than it is communicated in this book. What I could not get behind was the pseudoscience that, while not the entire book, is sprinkled throughout (e.g., homeopathy). I value windows and mirrors, but I don't feel that way about spreading harmful information about public health, which is why it can be hard to read books by people who have such fundamental views from my own.

I wanted to like this more, as a parent of a nonbinary child but I feel like its focus on more on the authors issues with binary gender than the tips I was hoping for as a parent.

Raising Them is a family memoir by sociologist Kyl Myers. Gender creative parenting is not an area I knew much about, so it was a refreshing and interesting read about how Kyl and Brent approached the first years of Zoomer's life. I follow Kyl on Instagram so it was a unique experience to be able to follow their life in real-time (and through COVID and their move to Australia) in parallel to my reading.

This book is so much more than a parenting How-to for raising a child without gender constraints. The author talks extensively about her own Mormon upbringing and how she came to study gender in college and to decide to raise her child, Zoomer, in a gender creative way. As a PhD in sociology, Myers makes many valid points about the stereotypes of male and female in society, limiting what is acceptable behavior for each gender. She offers an alternative to the typical gendered upbringing, but presents her story in a nonjudgmental way, not casting shame or blame on parents who may choose a more typical route. It's also possible to adopt some of these parenting strategies and leaving others that may not fit with your family dynamics. I really enjoyed reading about the way they are raising Zoomer and raising awareness about the negative effects gender stereotyping can have on young children. It was enlightening and is helping me adjust the way I talk to my own son about gender.

Thank you so much for the advanced read. I had been a follower of Kyl on Instagram and was so excited to read this book. It did not disappoint! I am a mom to a toddler, and everything is genderized. It was so refreshing to read about a parent embracing letting their kids explore who they are without a label.

Thank you to NetGalley, Little A, and the author for providing me access to this eArc in exchange for an honest review.

I will be upfront - I have no desire or intentions to have kids, but I'm quite interested in gender studies and think the topic of raising a gender neutral child is fascinating. My fear with many books on the subject is that, on either end of the spectrum, things can become a bit too preachy and push only their beliefs as the be all, end all. And I have to say, Kyl Myers pleasantly surprised me.

Well before we're even introduced to the wonderful Zoomer, Kyl provides us with her background, which may not be what you'd expect. Growing up Mormon, they believed that they were supposed to get married and have kids, maybe look at furthering their education but only for funsies. While she's getting ready for life after high school, a friend mentions that she's looking at nannying, which intrigues Kyl and leads her on a course that will change her life forever.

Kyl goes through what led them to decide to study gender (now being a professor on the subject) and her journey to Australia where she meets Brent while scrolling through Tinder. Within months they are married, and not long after they are discussing possibly having a child, when Kyl advises they would like to raise the child gender neutral. Soon Kyl is pregnant and they must work on telling those important people on their lives how they will be raising baby Zoomer, which is never as easy as it sounds.

Kyl has a way of writing that is very steadfast but not preachy. They are open with people, not making them feel like they are in the wrong when they accidentally slip up and misgender Zoomer, but they are also quick to defend their child's right to wear or play with whatever they want. This is one of the more balanced books I've read on gender, and Kyl shows that everyone will slip up sometimes, but the important part is being sure your child is loved however they are. Zoomer is a lucky kid to have Kyl in their corner!

I've been following Kyl on Instagram for a while and I was so happy to finally be able to read this book. It is inspiring, well, and easy written, and gives hope that more people would ease the gender stereotypes so present in our society. I wish to read more: the book covered about 0-3 of Zoomer's life. Now that they are 4 it would be great to continue reading about them in the next few years.

Keep up the good work Kyl, the world and the LGBT+ world needs you!

Unfortunately the formatting on my e-reader was aweful and I couldn't go past a few pages. I'll get the physical book and write a review then.

RAISING THEM is a profoundly beautiful, real, inspiring, thought-provoking read that turned my perception of the outdated concept of gender binary on its head and left me thinking about it long after I finished the book.

Part autobiographical memoir, part invaluable parenting resource, Kyl Myers has created a work that could utterly transform the lives of families today and generations to come. This book opened my eyes to the deepest, most toxic layers of societal “gender norms” and the impact they have on every person in existence today - childrens’ lives, emotional/ mental/physical landscapes, and futures are shaped by something utterly unnecessary at best and irrevocably damaging at worst, and parents and grandparents and relatives and caregivers would do well to consider the unique perspective Myers offers.

As a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, I found myself wishing I had been raised in such a loving, inclusive, unpressured environment - I’m only now beginning to explore my own gender identity at 28 years old, and I know that my upbringing is a huge part of why it took me so long to feel comfortable with this (or even realize exploring was an option). I hope that more and more parents will choose to raise their children gender-creatively - Zoomer and others like them will undoubtedly grow up to be compassionate, joyful, expressive human beings and I am delighted to see it.

Gender inequity is taught! Other than for that one organ being different, all humans are more or less similar. But we have allowed that one difference to make us believe that 'Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars'! How can we expect gender equality, when from day 1 we test the genders differently. Why are we surprised at the sure consequences that this creates!
Tests again and again have shown that children exposed to ditto contexts, without any prejudice, pick up more or less same skills and qualities.

This book is a memoir written by a mother. Kyl Myers and her partner Brent decide to do #gendercreativeparenting
They do not assign a gender to their child Sooner, and are waiting for them to decide for themself.

This book made me think a lot; about gender, about how we look at boys and girls different from the moment that they are born, and about how I want to raise my future children.

This book is the story of Kyl and Brent as they decided to raise their child gender neutral. This meant that no one besides doctors and those taking care of Zoomer new the biological sex of their child, they reject all labels of gender, and are waiting for Zoomer's decision on their own gender (or lack if that is what they prefer).

This book goes through their journey from Kyl's upbringing, their early marriage, decision to have a child (and raise them genderless), and the process of pregnancy, birth, and the first three years of Zommer's life. Now Kyl is writing from a privileged space, and one where most of the family, doctors, and friends around this family are very accepting, but Kyl admits to this as well.

I really enjoyed this book. I found it very well written and a story that is different from any that I have read before. It made me think about why the first thing we as a pregnant woman is if it is a boy or a girl, and why we separate genders for anything and everything. I think this is an eye-opening book, and one that will start a lot of conversations.

Dr. Kyl Myers was raised fairly sheltered within the Mormon community, but grows increasingly more interested in learning about the larger world as she continues her education. As part of this awakening, she becomes interested in gender creative parenting, in which parents do not assign a gender to their child(ren) and instead, wait to be informed by them when they are old enough to do so. Myers becomes an advocate and role model for those interested in following this parenting path, and it's easy to see why. The book showcases a sunny outlook and so much love for her child, Zoomer. It's clear that this is working well for her family and that Zoomer is thriving as they experience all that the world has to offer without the restriction of gender stereotypes.
While I'd love to stop there and say this was a great book, I'd be remiss if I didn't also share some of the thoughts I had while reading this book. For one, Myers is privileged. In so many ways. She acknowledges it a bit, but I think as someone wanting to help others explore gender creative parenting, she does them a disservice by not acknowledging that for some, this might be extremely difficult even if they are committed to it. Myers' husband, her family, his family, friends, and coworkers were all supportive of their decision. They find businesses that are welcoming and supportive. They have babysitters and childcare that are on board too. This is phenomenal, and I wish everyone could say the same, but the reality is that many people simply do not have this type of community surrounding them. The hardest thing Myers had to deal with was an influx of media attention after granting an interview, which was slightly confusing because in this day, how did she not expect that? That minor judgment aside, I think it just nagged at me in general because she seemed to have a happy ending to nearly every situation that arose, including choosing not to have Zoomer participate in a running race because it was divided by gender. I guess that's where the "creative" part comes in too, because she came up with an alternative activity that still allowed Zoomer to run and feel loved.
The other part I had some difficulty with was the whole issue of privacy. We live in such a challenging time when it comes to making decisions about our childrens' digital footprints and whatnot, but it was ironic that while Myers worked so hard to not have Zoomer's genitals mark them any which way, she was still fine with listing every single other detail about them in a book. The intent, of sharing their family's story, is great. But the impact? I guess we won't know that until Zoomer is old enough to check it out on their own. Everything is told lovingly and with adoration, but that still doesn't necessarily mean they will be comfortable with it in the future. It was a gamble, but I guess gender creative parenting felt like a gamble at first too, so it fits the overall pattern.
In any case, this was a sweet read that will no doubt be thought-provoking for those who have never considered what gendering their child at birth might mean for their future.

This is an interesting read, but I think it may have been written too soon in the author's experience. I expected this to be all about the actual experiences of raising a child gender-creatively and of course how the child self-identifies. Baby Zoomer isn't born until the 40% point of the book. The book also only follows the first 2.5 years of life. I think if this was written ten years later it would be a much more fascinating read.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC for an honest review.

A fascinating read a look at not assigning gender to your child.Raising your child without any of the identity assigned to either a boy or girl.zibenjoyed following this family’s journey ,adventure.A book I will be recommending.#netgalley#littleA

First and foremost I would like to thank NetGalley for granting me the privilege of reading this amazing book (that the people around me will have to hear about for quite some time to come). It wholeheartedly deserves the five stars I'm giving it and I'm very happy to see that other people on the internet seem to agree with me.

As Myers mentions it themselves at the beginning of this book: "This book is for people who are passionate about queering parenting." After finishing this book I fully agree with this! This book, like a lot of books about parenting in general, isn't just for parents. It's for anybody who's ever been interested in how parenting can influence a child and inevitably the future that child grows up in. But it's also for people who just want to learn more about how our perception of gender shapes how we see others and the world, and for people who might want to change the view they currently have.

This book explores gender in an explanatory way, (possibly) teaching the reader new terminology, viewpoints and visions for a different future for kids. Myers also talks about how they, their partner and family experienced everything that comes with deciding to become a parent and the experience of raising a child in a gender creative way. Fun, sad and sometimes frustrating anecdotes share the page with educational segments about gender in relation to parenting (or society in general).

The thing I loved most about this book is how accessible it was to read. A lot is discussed in this book, but everything is approached with an open mindset and clear and simple language. This book could be used as an example of how to tackle gender creative parenting, but it doesn't present itself that way (Myer even addressed the overload of parenting "tips" and books in Western culture, which I highly appreciated). Everything about this book screams inclusion and it promotes a safe space for dialogue about gender, sexuality and parenting.

Another thing that made this book very refreshing to read, was how both reassuring and real it was. Myers doesn't sugar-coat anything about their experience in the world of being a parent so far, but it leaves the reader with hope anyway. This book both raises and answers a lot of interesting questions and just makes the reader think, without overwhelming them.

Lastly, the line that struck me the most in this book, is this: "I want more than half the world for my child." I immediately felt like that line will open a lot of worlds for people, hopefully for (soon to be) parents as well. It paints a very bright picture for this way of raising a child and filled me with joy.

I strongly encourage everybody to read this book, because I feel like it's an important contribution to shaping a more fun, more inclusive, more colourful and brighter world for the next generations.

I'm not sure why this is specified as fiction when it's not. But it's useful and informative for parents nonetheless.

Prior to reading this book, I had never really thought about gender creative parenting. Maybe I've been stuck in a bubble, but I hadn't even heard of it. When I decided to read this book, I admit I was hesitant. "How could it help me? I have two boys." If you have are in a similar situation, please do not make that stop you from reading this book! There is so much to know and learn and Meyer's presented their thoughts in a cohesive, easy-to-read way.

If you are looking for a 'how-to' guide, this is not it. If you are interested in gender-creative parenting and want to know about one family's journey, or if you just want to understand why a family would choose to not assign a child a gender at birth, then this is a wonderful read.

Written as a memoir (or even as a love letter to their child), this book is an easy read that puts in simple terms what it means to decide to become a gender-creative parent. Obviously, not everyone will has the same journey. Meyer's talks about how their parents were fully supportive, while that may not be the case for everyone. I used to work at a baby goods store, and looking back, I realize how callous it would be for some to ask "Are you having a boy a girl?"-- it doesn't matter! I love how often I thought about situations like this, and I do think that this book really made me think about how I interact with young children when I know the child's sex.

For me, what this book was about was simply this: A world with more tolerant, kind people is a better world. Instead of focusing on whether someone is a girl or a boy, we should instead focus on what makes us live a better life for ourselves.

Thank you to Netgalley and Little A for an ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Well researched and explained, this is a great resource for patrons. I like the way the authors discuss gender and alternatives to approaching different styles of identity,

I requested this book on NetGalley because I was curious. Raising a child without gender until they choose - my first thought was ‘how cool!’ which was followed quickly by a resounding ‘sounds really hard, though.’ Kyl is a wonderful story teller and sounds like a wonderful mom.

(Note: ‘they’ is the pronoun used for Kyl in the ‘About the author’ section, so that’s what I will use.)

They were not preachy or judgmental at all in their choice to be a gender creative parent. When their sister worriedly asked if Kyl thought she was a bad mom for raising her child as a girl, Kyl said of course not, you’re a wonderful mom. This is just what feels right for me. They also acknowledged that their experiences, such as the positive hospital experience giving birth to Zoomer, was influenced by “privileges Brent and I have as white, middle-class, insured, straight-appearing couple at a hospital in a progressive city.” And they acknowledged that while their family was very supportive, others are not so lucky. This was not a ‘how to live your life like me because I’m right and you’re wrong’ kind of book. It was more of a book on ‘here’s one way to do it that worked well for us and hopefully hearing our story might make you more comfortable if you choose to be a gender creative parent, too.”

I’m so glad I read this book. I think one day gender creative parenting will be much more commonplace and I hope I get to see that day. Thank you NetGalley, Kyl Myers, and publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.