Review from my 12-year-old:
This book was engaging because not only was the plot well thought out and complex, but the characters were as well. I've found that it's hard to find a mystery that has such emotionally complex characters as this, since most choose to focus on the plot and in exchange don't put as much thought into the characters. But the characters in this all had unique voices and backstories, which helped bring the story even more to life. It is told in alternating perspectives from each of the five main characters, but (view spoiler) My personal favorite character was Ever, as I found their perspective to be the most interesting, but Finn is a close second, as his was also quite engaging. Of the three characters that the story's main focus is on, Maddy's was probably my least favorite, but I was still interested while reading her's. I feel like the characters worked well with the plot, which tells the story of five ex-friends who have this game they play, where Ever creates a murder mystery storyline, and the rest of them have to figure out how. The game was really well thought out, with their own characters and own world. They decide to play the game together one last time before some of them go off to college and their relationships change drastically. They go to this cabin in the woods that is rumored to be haunted, mainly because a serial killer lived in it a long time ago. It now belongs to one of the characters, and Ever had set up the day before, since their role is game master, and when all of the characters arrive the next day, strange stuff begins to happen that they ignore at first, until someone goes missing, someone gets murdered, and the last three get stuck in the house, possibly locked in by a serial killer. This plot did the perfect job of keeping me entertained, while also setting up a spooky atmosphere. I didn't entirely guess the plot twist, meaning I suspected the person who was the murderer, but they weren't my main suspect. I'd kind of compare this book to "All Your Twisted Secrets," (which I only gave 1 star), but this book was so much better and so much more well thought out. The reason I only gave it 4 stars instead of 5 was because I got a bit bored during the flashbacks, and I feel like we didn't really get to see the consequences of all of the events that happened at the end. I personally would have preferred an epilogue, but I can see why the author left it the way they did. I also would have liked to learn (view spoiler) But overall I thought this was a great book that is definitely worth the read

I was given an ARC copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
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Five long time friends, too many secrets, broken trust...
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For these friends, the last weekend they spend together as a unit, is a desperate bid to fix what has been broken by circumstances beyond their control. They don't trust each other anymore, some of them border on hate, but one of the group wants to make this weekend memorable, heal some of the hurts...
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Each friend has secrets and personal struggles, but in their roleplay game, they can be other people. Here they can work together, here they capture some of what was lost, there is no outside world that sees them as different or broken, they can just be.
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The weekend takes a sinister turn when small things happen to spook the group. The legends of a haunted mountain fuel their anxiety. When things escalate, they don't know who to trust, but someone is out to get them. I thought I had the bad guy pinned early in the story, I was completely wrong.
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When all is revealed, we see the toll society and circumstance can wreak upon someone. Even those we thing strong and capable, have their weaknesses.
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The characters are diverse and very interesting. All of them flawed, all of them hurting. I requested the book solely based on author, having loved the other book I read. It was far outside my usual genre and I enjoyed it.

Even If We Break is a young adult thriller novel that focuses on a group of friends during a weekend getaway and the lengths each of them will go to hold onto a friendship. As the group settles into an exciting adventure in their shared RPG, things start to go very wrong!
Author has created fully developed characters that are so rich and diverse that as the chapters flip from character to character it is easy to get fully immersed in the thoughts and emotions of each. There is so much diversity in this book- trans, ASD, non-binary.....
Great read for many! Slightly predictable at times, but overall great.

* I received an advanced reader’s copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review

Five friends. A weekend at a cabin in the woods. A haunted mountain with a terrifying past. What could possibly go wrong?
WOW. Wow wow wow wow this book. Was. Absolutely. Amazing. I’ll admit I was a little confused in the beginning (since I have approximately zero knowledge of RPG), but once the story ramped up I was hooked.
Even If We Break perfectly encapsulates the “zero to a hundred real quick” saying. My stomach dropped, my pulse raced, this book was exactly what I needed to get out of my reading slump. I was expecting a thriller, sure, but Even If We Break kept me up all night repeating to myself “just one more chapter” over and over and over. I can’t remember the last time I stayed up so late reading a book.
And the characters! Oh, the characters. They were so fully realized with all their fears and hopes that I really felt like I was stepping into their shoes. The author clearly cares deeply for her characters and handles them as such.
Even If We Break was, to me at least, the perfect thriller. I would recommend it to readers who enjoyed Diana Urban’s All Your Twisted Secrets and Chelsea Pitcher’s This Lie Will Kill You. If you’re looking for a fast paced thriller with a sprinkling of RPG fantasy, this is the book for you!

Thoughts and Themes: I really enjoyed how this book is supposed to be a game that the characters are playing yet it turns out to be a murder mystery instead. It is as if they are now playing a game within a game.

I thought that the build up from the start of the book until the first event outside of their game occurs was great. I was invested in learning more about each of these characters and their backstory. I felt for them as things continued to happen to each one of them throughout the book.

I really enjoyed the book as things started happening to the characters and at one point this became a book to only read during the day. The book was not only a spooky book but was also full of suspense. I really enjoyed reading to see what would happen to the characters but also reading to see what their secrets were. I liked that this book had multiple layers to it and there were many things that were being kept not just from the reader but from each of the characters.

Characters: This book cycles through several different main characters to tell each of their stories on their own and with each other. At first I did have a hard time remembering who was who but as the book progressed I was able to differentiate between them because of their different characteristics.

This book has transgender rep , non-binary rep , chronic pain rep, autism rep, and bisexual rep. I really enjoyed that there was not just one trans/non-binary character and we got two of them. I thought those characters were done well and really liked how these were not the central point of the story. While the characters being trans/non-binary added to the interactions between characters I liked that it wasn’t a central plot.

I also really liked the autism rep in this book that is shown through Maddy. I liked how her friend group responded to her actions and how they didn’t put her aside because she is autistic. I like how they were able to figure out how to use her autism as something that could help them in their game. I really liked her reaction to when things got overwhelming and how her friends reacted to her being overwhelmed. Something else that I really enjoyed with this character is that she is multi dimensional and is so much more than her autism.

Writing style: When books go back and forth between characters as well as change in time I tend to get a bit confused and can’t follow the story. I was pleased to find that this was not the case in this book.

I enjoyed hearing things from each of the characters perspectives and liked that they all brought something different to the story. I also liked how you got to see some of the past to learn why the characters treated each other in certain manners and why they carried themselves certain ways.

This was a good book, but to me the end was somewhat predictable. I won't give away the details of the end, but if you are an avid reader it's pretty obvious in some respects.
The book follows five friends, Maddie, Ever, Finn, Liva, and Carter, who have formed a role playing group, and are having one last adventure together in Liva's family cabin. The cabin of cours, is conveniently located on the top of a haunted mountain, which is perfect since their games always involve a murder.
All the friends are fighting through their own demons, and issues surrounding their friendship with each other. Everyone has secrets, and internal pain and conflict, but do they feel comfortable enough with each other anymore to talk and depend on, and trust one another. Once the game starts to.go.in the direction of real murder, none of them are sure who they can really trust with their lives.
Again, there end, in my opinion, is pretty predictable. However, the book is not a terrible read, and it explores a lot of subjects that can be hard to talk about, but are very relevant in today's society.

First of all let's get it out of the way: the serial killer, local legend spooky suspense vibes? They were so good. Loved it. But this author's work is full of intense and emotional themes, plus an usually chilling voice. I expected nothing less, and was not at all disappointed. And to credit the author again I loved the RPG framing of the whole novel. I know nothing about RPGs beyond that a lot of people like them and think they're really fun. But I loved the idea of wrapping the group's story inside a larger mystery. The framing was very well done too.

Now I just have to say there's so much rep in here. Trans, disability, poor, PTSD, and autistic rep. All of it is right there, chilling on the page. Doing great. So anyone who says these things can't be done, I'd like to point you in Marieke Nijkamp's direction. You could learn a few lessons from them.

And speaking of rep . . . 

"I try to focus, but there's a disconnect between my body and my mind, like nothing about it fits anymore. I don't feel like I belong in this body, I don't know how to interact with this world. It feels like I'm observing through a veil, and I don't know how to move. Panic is a type of pain too."

This quote. So much. I felt it.

God I just loved Maddy. I am not autistic so I cannot make any claims to the autistic rep. My opinion on this means nothing. However I am ADHD and there is a lot of overlap between the two, including in how we deal with stressors. As someone with ADHD I saw a lot of myself in Maddy's coping mechanisms and character. It was so nice to see someone with the not-as-nice side of things on the page. I defer to autistic readers on how well that rep was done, but I enjoyed seeing something relatable to me on page. 

I live for the pain and awareness of the group's impending friendship implosion. As an adult I've been in friendships that fell apart, and I've seen people fight to keep their friendships together when they didn't work. I was one of them. I think it's good and healthy for teenagers to see this. Even outside of everything else, if I just isolate this one thread of the story, I think it's so important and well-done.

I was disappointed in the killer's identity because it seemed like the obvious choice to me. And I'm going to contradict myself here because I absolutely loved how bloodthirsty and emotionless the killer was. They had, what they thought, were the right reasons to do what they did. Would it make sense to logical people with any sort of conscience? No, not even a little. But I loved how we got in their head and saw their reasoning in a way that almost made sense if you were to think about things like they do. I would've liked to see that laid out more, as opposed to the excess in the ending.

Said ending dragged on a bit too much for me. It could've been wrapped up a lot quicker. And I feel like if we had gotten a little more of the killer's POV in the end and a little less of the actual final chapters, this would've been a better novel in my eyes.

Still, it was a great book. I genuinely, really liked it. I think a lot of people will, too. I was recommending it already while I was in the middle of it. And it was such a quick read, too. Even with the parts that ended up being more meh than wow I think it was a great book. I would definitely read it again. I think if suspense and thrillers are your thing, with mild paranormal, magical, and slight (I'm talking slight) horror elements, you should read this book. 4/5 stars, easy.

I did not like this. The five friends play a role-playing game in a creepy cabin in the woods seems like such a great story, and it did get spooky at times, but there was no substance to the story. The author didn't leave room for us to solve the mystery, and I felt so disconnected from the characters. I felt like they were already so developed that we had started the story mid-way through instead of at the beginning. Plus, all the character's chapter POVs sounded the same and I forgot who was talking. Plus the motivation for murder was not strong enough for me.

The only good thing about this book was the representation. There are two queer trans characters, an autistic character, and two characters with disabilities. But there's also a line that kind of turned me off at the beginning of the book, where one of the characters says they think their role-playing group is too white and wants to expand their circle, and one of the characters just doesn't want to. I thought that was an odd throwaway comment.

Five friends take one final trip to a cabin nestled in the mountains to play one final game of their tabletop RPG (think Dungeons & Dragons). They have been playing this game for over three years, and once used to all be very close friends. But recently they have all slowly started to drift apart and begin to break. Once they get to the cabin things begin to go all wrong. They soon realize that they are not alone in the mountains and someone is out to get them.

When I first heard abut this book I was VERY excited to read it. Queer? Check. Horror/thriller/mystery? Check. RPG tabletop elements? Check. I was immediately interested. Overall, I think this is a really great read. The diversity is great and also creates interesting elements to the story. It gave me "Cabin in the Woods" vibes from the description.

This book has five (5) narrators, all in first person! That, to me, is TOO many! I would have loved it if the only narrator was Finn or Ever, or maybe just those two. The other characters I just didn't care enough about. I think this book would have done better if it had been written in a simple third person. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think a book ever needs five narrators! The characters, the ones who are fleshed out well (Finn and Ever mostly) are amazing and really make you want to keep reading to find out what happens to them. Honestly, I think this would have made a better contemporary novel without the thriller/mystery aspects. Finn and Avery should have been the MCs, because it felt like they are and the others were just secondary. Finn and Ever really save this book and make it worth reading.

As far as the thriller aspects, the first half of the book does a good job building the tension. Even if you go in blind and have no idea this is going to be a thriller you will quickly catch on that something is amiss and something terrible will happen. There are a few jump scare moments that really sink this in, but these moments feel a bit out of place and happen too early on. The second half of the book is very drawn on. It's mostly long dialogue moments or internal thoughts where the characters talk about their feelings and how they've messed up their friendships. It just all gets a bit angsty for my liking and doesn't feel like it really builds the characters at all. It's pretty easy to figure out who the killer is if you've been thinking about it and paying attention, or if you've ever seen a mystery movie. Knowing who the killer is didn't ruin the rest of the book because I wanted to know the "why". However, the why was out of nowhere and a bit unbelievable.

I think the book could have done better if it spent less time on long flashback scenes (which happened a lot and went on for pages sometimes) and cut back the RPG elements. There were several chapters where the characters are just playing their game, which as a tabletop player myself I thought was fun, but it did not really add anything to the book. I think more time dedicated to winding up the tension would have been better. This was billed a thriller mystery and it read more like a bunch of therapy sessions but also there was a killer.

***VAGUE SPOILERS BELOW***

I just did not get the killers motives. It made no sense to me at all and just came out of no where. It makes it worse (SPOILERS) that one of the narrators is the killer! Since the POVs are first person I would have loved to see this character's POV to in some way reflect their clear decline that leads to murdering their friends. It doesn't make sense to me to have a fist person POV but write the character in a way that seems to deceive the reader into thinking there is nothing wrong with them.

Also, when the "killings" happen is when the thriller parts get few and far between. One of the deaths I just did not care about. I do think think we see enough of this character to care that they die, and it happens off screen! Which, c'mon. Not scary at all.

*** SPOILERS OVER ***

I would recommend this book to others with the caveat that its great because Finn and Ever are great characters, and not because it is a good thriller mystery. I did enjoy this book and will most likely purchase my own copy, but probably not on release day. It was good, well thought out, and had wonderful moments between the characters. The thriller tension starts out great and draws from a lot of inspiration from great thriller tropes, but the tension breaks towards the middle part when the dialogue scenes grow longer.

(Thank you NetGalley for the eARC of this book!)

This is one of those books that will really appeal to those in the LGTB+ community, among other diversity groups; as it centered around the trans community and made sure to include characters within other parts of our society. I know many will love the diverse cast. The author did an amazing job in the beginning, but about half way through it sort of bombed a bit for me, jemce not giving a full five stars. It is quite dark, and may contain triggers, so if you don’t like dark or have triggers, maybe hold off on this one! If like me, no triggers, and the darker, more disturbing the better, then immediately start! It has to some pretty chilling chills, twists and turns, shocks, and thrills! Original, realistic to a point, and fun to read! I would even say it’s unputdownable for the majority! Overall, I do highly recommend this book, especially if you’re wanting one that really brings a vast amount of diversity, even with a low amount of characters! There’s many POV, which I loved! I do think most seeking thrills and chills will enjoy this well written, dark ride!
Will make sure to buzz it up on different platforms and use my low Amazon reviewer number on release date!

A locked room mystery? I was all in for this book.

“ FIVE friends go to a cabin.
FOUR of them are hiding secrets.
THREE years of history bind them.
TWO are doomed from the start.
ONE person wants to end this.
NO ONE IS SAFE.

Are you ready to play?”

I think the creepy vibes and diverse cast were my favorite aspects of this book, and I think fans of locked room mysteries will enjoy this.

I’ve rated it three stars, because as enjoyable as it is, it feels like it fell flat. It’s probably my own bias, as I went into this after reading a book by the queen of locked room mysteries. But, something felt off.

Many thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Unfortunately I could not ge to go this book and put it down after a couple of chapters. I did not like the writing style and I found that I could not get into it. I am so grateful for this opportunity but I cannot offer a review of this book

I don't really know what to say about this book except it was so powerful and moving that I sat after reading it in stunned silence.
It had such a massive impact on me that I find it hard to articulate. As someone who has recently come out as non-binary, and who is disabled and autistic, seeing facets of myself on the page was profound.

Even If We Break tells the story of a fractured group of friends reuniting at a cabin in the mountains for their final live action role playing game. The novel is split between each character POV and narration of the story they have woven for the LARP the group is performing.

This novel has a wonderfully diverse cast of characters including trans Finn, nonbinary Ever and neurodiverse Maddy.
I felt Nijkampe was brilliant at describing Maddy's reaction to stimuli, PTSD and drug addiction. Her insight into the characters thoughts and fears felt realistic and puts the reader right there in Maddy's shoes. I should note I'm no authority on this having never lived it myself, but from what I've learned it seemed authentic.

From the start Nijkampe hints at various secrets and past events for every character and you can feel the tension between them all as they struggle to enjoy themselves for one last hurrah.

As the RPG begins to bleed into their real lives we're given insight to each characters secrets, suspicions and concerns. Each is well fleshed out and whilst the underlying plot is ghosts and murder, Even If We Break is very much a character driven story.

For me the reveal of the perpetrator was lacklustre, their motives vague and nonsensical. The heart of this novel lies in the varying personalities and their views.
I highly recommend as a diverse read but come for the emotion rather than the storyline.

I enjoyed this!! I liked it enough for many reasons. And I had like one or two faults with it. But overall... good!!

I really liked the creepy ambiance we had. A cabin in the woods?? Potentially getting stalked by a psycho?? A horror movie anyone?? I could literally see this being played out on the big screen and that was in part of the wonderful writing. I liked the relationships we saw and how each character was flawed in their own way but still a character you felt for. There was a point where I was actually really creeped out and had to turn on a light SO MAJOR POINTS FOR THAT!

I think the only fault I had was that I wish this was a bit longer so we could have a buildup for the friendships we had. Maybe a bit more backstory. An explanation for many things we read in forms of flashbacks. BUT THE PACING WAS INCREDIBLE IN THAT I COULDN’T PUT IT DOWN I NEEDED TO KNOW HOW IT ENDED.

“We’re here, alone, and we have nowhere else to go. We don’t have an escape route. We don’t know what’s waiting for us. We can’t protect ourselves from whatever’s out there with wooden rifles and foam daggers and make-believe skills.”

“Even if we break” by Marie Nijkamp tells the story of five friends - Ever, Finn, Maddie, Carter and Liva.

One last weekend together.
One last weekend to bring a fractured friendship group back together.
One last weekend immersed in the world of Gonfalon, the RPG that brought this mis-matched group together 3 years ago.
One last weekend for all the secrets they hold to be exposed.

“It always starts with a murder.”

In a cabin on a mountain, 5 friends arrive, but how many will leave?

This story is creepy, it is atmospheric and it is so well paced that you are always left on edge about what is going to happen next.

The magic of this thriller is in the storytelling. @mariekeyn has perfected the craft of drawing the reader in and leaving clues along the way for us to savour. Each new clue gives the reader a deeper understanding of the characters, their flaws, their motivations, their challenges in life, their dreams and desires.

This is a #ownvoices diverse book where the diversity of the characters is embraced and celebrated - as it should be.

Another wonderful must-read from Marieke Nijkamp.

Read this if you love thrillers. Read this if you love RPG and fandom. Read this is you love to see diversity portrayed in a thoughtful, meaningful way.

If you love reading, then read this book. If you don’t love reading - then this book just might change your mind.


Thanks to @Netgalley & @sourcebooksfire for the ARC.

Oh man oh man this story was so promising but it let me down and that makes me so sad. Thanks to Netgalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review. I was so excited for this book, it was low-key one of my Most Anticipated Books of this year. It theoretically had everything I loved, thrills and spooks, LARPing, nerds and games, disability representation, it was all so ideal! And, for some of those things I was so excited about, I was right to be! The majority of the characters were fantastically diverse, developed, and interesting. I cared about their journeys and their thoughts Andy what happened to them. The interactions were great, and I loved the comparison of their fantasy counterparts to who they are in real life.

Except for one. And that deals with my biggest issue with the book- it didn’t at any point feel very incredibly suspenseful. It didn’t feel like a “game” or like it was threatening, or like the characters were in any actual danger (some of them, sure, like, the ones that died, but it sorta felt expected for the most part). When the Big Reveal of the villain happened, I found myself mostly just confused. I didn’t understand the character’s motives or why that person had any reason for doing what they did. I wish the book had taken more time to set that up, establish the villain, and let that character play with the others for a while. Then maybe I would have been more sold, or would have at least found it more interesting.

So, this book totally wins as far as like... the “hero” characters are concerned. Like I said, fantastic disability, autistic, and LGBT representation, which made my lil heart sing. I just wish I had been more surprised and felt more suspense.

The description for this book immediately grabbed me.  Another book I read by this author was extremely compelling, so requesting one this was a no-brainer.

LGBTQ representation in this novel is magnificent, along with autism and disability representation.  These characters are brought together by a RPG (role playing game) and spend three years together playing the game.  Throughout that time, their relationships with each other have their ups and downs, and with college on the horizon for some, this will be the last time they're able to play together.  Soon after reaching the cabin, the craziness begins.

One of my favorite things about this novel is the strong friendships between some of the characters and the unconditional support they offer each other - especially since some don't have the best home life or have experienced traumatic events.  When they find themselves in the middle of some seriously creepy happenings, none of them abandon each other to save themselves.  Five alternating POVs also allows the reader to learn more about each character.

This will be difficult to say without spoilers, but what I struggled with was the reveal of the person behind everything.  It came as a suprise, but just didn't ring true for me - it seemed unrealistic, and I felt let down after such a suspenseful buildup.  During tense scenes where I couldn't wait to see what happened next, occasionally heavy internal monologue took over and went on for several paragraphs, which took me out of the story.  

Even If We Break is a thriller, but it's also very much a coming of age story with some beautiful passages containing thought-provoking concepts.  It's not my favorite book by this author, but I wouldn't hesitate to read her future books.

 I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley.  Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read this amazing book! Marieke Nijkamp does it again! Nijkamp is practically unparalleled when it comes to creating atmosphere and sucking readers into it. While reading this book, I truly felt like I was there in the woods along with the characters. Nijkamp is also consistently amazing at writing multiple POVs and making each character feel real and true. This book has great disability representation, as well as amazing trans/nonbinary representation. The plot is tightly wound, and, just like in Nijkamp's other works, takes place in a very short period of time. Every minute counts, and even the small things are deeply important and meaningful. This book is very dark, and its darkness works well for the story it is telling. The ending is both explosive and beautiful, and I would love to know where the characters go after this. Highly highly recommend!!

First, I LOVE how diverse the cast is. So happy to see autistic, trans, enby, and disabled lead characters (this is the reason I requested the ARC). The characters are complex and interesting. I'd recommend this book particularly to fans of ONE OF US IS LYING. It has a similar closed-room mystery plot but with a more diverse cast.

As others have said, this book is a bit slow to start, but starts hitting the gas about 1/3 of the way in and doesn't let up until the climax. So be prepared to ease in a bit before the action really starts to build (if you're looking for a thriller that gives you a murder in chapter one or two, this isn't it). I'll admit I did a bit of skimming because I wanted to get to the creepy cabin antics.

Overall, worthwhile read for teens, especially queer, disabled, and neurodiverse teens who so rarely get to see themselves in lead roles.