Interesting but not my style of book. I’m glad I read it but would not read it again. I can see why it is such a hit though!

Particularly for people coming out of the pandemic trying to resurrect and nurture languishing friendships, this is a perfect reminder of how to be a friend, how to treat a friend, and how to create a life big enough to welcome friendships without strangling them.

I LOVE Ann & Aminatou's podcast, and I knew I'd love this book. Reading a book about friendship during the pandemic made me cry and reminisce, but it also made me (virtually) pull my friends closer.

3 stars.

Another book I "lost" when my TBR list on NetGalley went to 2 pages and I didn't realize I had a bunch of old titles waiting to be discovered. I stumbled upon the title on a list of must-reads at Christmas time, and actually ordered it as a gift for a lifelong friend.

We discussed having a book club around it...but now that I've read it I'm not sure it warrants a full book club experience.

There were parts of this book I adored. Actually, their honest deep-dive into their friendship and their troubles was touching and the vulnerability touched me. However, I felt like this book was really meant for fans of the podcast. And while I am a huge podcast fan, I am not aware of their podcast. So I felt like an outsider.

I read a similar style book last year, by the hosts of the podcast My Favorite Murder. The difference is that I'm a huge fan of that podcast and am familiar with the inside jokes and their friendship already. I suspect I missed out on some enjoyment because I am not an insider.

Nonetheless, Aminatou and Ann are women I admire. I respect their Shine Theory (which I had heard of but never knew was attributable to them) and thought the book was worthwhile, if a bit of self-promotion.

*with thanks to NetGalley for this honest review.

The co-hosts of the hit podcast Call Your Girlfriend share an intimate portrait of adult female friendship. They also address the unique challenges of working with your best friend and having an interracial friendship. The authors believe that friendships are just as important as other kinds of relationships and acknowledge the work it takes to maintain them as people grow, change, and move apart both physically and emotionally. They provide an intersectional feminist model that will useful and interesting to readers facing those same issues in their own lives. The writing is warm, vulnerable, and insightful.

Comps:
Text Me When You Get Home
Work Wife

Fun, easy, read! You can tell that the authors really wrote this book TOGETHER and there's lots of relatable life lessons to take away from the pages.

In Text Me When You Get Home: The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship (Dutton, $17), journalist Kayleen Schaefer explores the role of female friendship in contemporary life. She draws on her own experience, as well as examples of how these kinds of friendships are portrayed in the media, to shape a slim but powerful tribute to the potential of female friendship to be a defining (if not the defining) relationship in one's life.

Intrigued by Schaefer's exploration of the many (many) ways contemporary culture highlights the more negative aspects of female friendships (catfights, backstabbing, gossip and more), I set off in search of more examples like the positive ones she shares. First to mind was Girl Squads: 20 Female Friendships that Changed History by Sam Maggs, illustrated by Jenn Woodall (Quirk, $16.99), which is exactly what it sounds like: a collection of 20 history-shaping friendships spanning from 400 BCE to present day. I am also intrigued by the scientific knowledge promised in Jacqueline Mroz's Girl Talk: What Science Can Tell Us about Female Friendship, which Shelf's reviewer said "takes the bonds between women seriously."

Though Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear (Riverhead, $17) is ostensibly about creativity, not friendship, it is impossible to read Elizabeth Gilbert's account of her long relationship with fellow writer Ann Patchett without reflecting on how formative that friendship has been for both women and wondering how many other lives have been shaped by friends in the same way. The same "big" theme underlies Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close (Simon & Schuster, $26), in which the co-hosts of the popular Call Your Girlfriend podcast, Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman, provide concrete recommendations for investing in long-term friendships, based on their own decade-long relationship, with all its joys and challenges.

This book is about the ins and outs of friendship. It follows the twos story from start until current day and all the joy and bumps they have encountered along the way. How important friendships are and how they change with distance and age. I found it insightful and I enjoyed the sprinkling of studies they added to bluester their points. I do wish I was familiar with their pod cast I feel I would have maybe been a little more emotionally invested then.

This book didn't work for me. I wasn't sure where it was going or what message it was trying to tell. To me, it seemed like the product of what the expensive therapist the pair went to asked them to write down and they decided to get it published. To be fair, I have never listened to their podcast, and perhaps this book is really meant for those who do.

But this seems like a short memoir of a friendship between two women, with background information and stories that seem valuable to their story, but don't fit into a bigger picture or a narrative that makes a lot of sense in bits and pieces. Does this book want to talk about race? Kind of... but there's one chapter where it's drilled into your head and then forgotten. Does it want to talk about terminal illness? Sure, again, a bit. How do these things affect friendship? Unclear because it depends on the friendship.

I feel like many people get into "big friendships" when then are in college or in the years following and then life gets in the way and those friendships taper off. Some stick. Some friends are with you from elementary school and beyond (but those aren't discussed in this book). Many people just drop out of touch. Maybe one friend moves and it's just too hard to maintain that friendship over the distance. Maybe one friend gets married and the other cannot relate to a settled down life. Ann and Aminatou don't really mention boys or signifcant others as major players, but I think this is why they are able to devote themselves to their friendship. It's very hard - but not impossible - to maintain a relationship with a spouse/family and that kind of friendship. Don't get me wrong, you certainly can have great friends while married, but the all-consuming friendship that they talk about is hard to do with a job/career, spouse and family.

Also I'm not sure this book told me or taught me anything. I read about a friendship between two people I don't know. They had differences, they grew apart, they both still wanted to be friends so they paid to go to therapy and now they are working on their friendship.

Maybe I missed something, maybe I should have listened to their podcast, but this didn't do it for me.

I enjoyed reading this book, it was one I was highly anticipating because I love the Call Your Girlfriend podcast. I think both of these authors are brilliant. I was hoping that the book would read more like the podcast, including fun facts and ti-bets of information but I was surprised that it read more like a memoir. Overall though I enjoyed this book, and would hope to see more from these women in the future.

This book was absolutely incredible. I’ve been a fan of the Call Your Girlfriend podcast since 2015, but this book is so much more than that. It was a deep and immersive investigation into friendship that has been unexplored in any other book I’ve read.

I'm always attracted to books about friendship after losing my dearest and bestest friend 10 years ago. For me it's bittersweet - it brings up the pain of losing her (like picking at a cuticle) but also wraps me in a big hug.
These two have a unique relationship and I applaud them for writing this book. Platonic relationships are completely underrated and this book delves into that idea. Different type of memoir. Links to come.

As a casual and somewhat recent fan of Call Your Girlfriend, I enjoyed this peek behind the curtain at the nuts and bolts of Aminatou and Ann's friendship that aren't always examined in great detail on the podcast.

While perspectives shift fluidly between the two women depending on the chapter and subject, the dual narrative never feels disjointed, which speaks to the depth of their trust and big-hearted reverence for one another. I especially appreciated learning how they survived rifts that at the time probably seemed unsurvivable to them - there are no grand illusions here; in fact, there is even a shattering of illusions in relation to a brand that was built on long-distance bestie-dom - but somehow it all makes their premise of 'big friendship' that much sweeter and more true to life.

This is a meatier, more substantial take on the themes explored in Kayleen Schaefer's "Text Me When You Get Home", and it'll make you want to reach out to your closest friends to remind them just how much they mean to you, and why.

Interesting subject that comes from the heart and captivates the reader. I love when offers offer a unique perspective.

I could not get into this book for some reason. I had high hopes.
Thank you Netgalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Seemed a little short but I enjoyed the premise. I identified with a lot of how/why friendships either stay or leave our lives. Reminded me to be intentional.

NetGalley ARC | I know that as I get older, I look back at my fading friendships and wonder how this happened or if it even matters to both parties. How do I reignite the fire in old friendships that I still want? When is a friendship just over? Equally, I look at new friendships wondering why they are so hard to make and how I can sustain them. What is friendship and big friendship?

Sow and Friedman address all of these issues by sharing their passionate yet flawed relationship and even address racism among friends. I champion their Shine Theory and messages of lifting up other women. After reading this book, I started to listen to their podcast, Call Your Girlfriend.

You can find the full review on The Uncorked Librarian here: https://www.theuncorkedlibrarian.com/currently-reading-august-2020/

Thank you to the publisher and authors for providing me with a free advanced copy in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Countless books, blogs, and podcasts are devoted to the importance of close friendship, but it’s not all phone calls and brunch dates. Friendship can be complicated, and, just like any relationship, and it takes work to maintain those close friendships. Why isn’t anyone else talking about how hard this is? That’s the question Call Your Girlfriend podcast co-hosts Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman explore in their new book. I enjoyed their combination of thoughtful research and personal stories that highlight the importance of making and keeping close friends who help you grow, stick around for the hard stuff, and celebrate your victories. They’ll be the first to say it’s not easy; while the two share joyful moments in their friendship journey here, they share plenty of messy moments and hard conversations as well. But it’s possible, and it’s worth it.

‘Big Friendship’ is well-researched memoir about enduring friendship and the “big friendship” that the authors, Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman, share. I really enjoyed this book, but I wanted more. The memoir follows the evolution of the authors’ friendship and the kind of commitment its taken to maintain it. However, I did find the scope a bit limited. This may be due to the genres, since it’s a mixture of memoir and self-development. I would have loved to read about more first-hand accounts of friendship. I also wanted more direct advice on nurturing and repairing friendships. I really appreciated that an entire chapter was devoted to interracial friendships. It’s very easy for a white person to be ignorant to possible issues or say or do something that offends their friend. Both Sow and Friedman are admittedly active friends, who push for the next meetup and are great about following up. But so many of us are not like that, so I would have appreciated hearing different perspectives from different types of friends. I also wanted more examples about huge life changes and how they affect friendship. They mentioned moving and jobs, but neither appears to be married or have children. As someone in their late 30s with two small children, having children has really made maintaining friendships especially difficult and I know I have to work on that personally. Overall, it is a compelling and inspiring treatise on friendship and the attention and care it takes to sustain these relationships.

Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for providing this ARC.

I really enjoyed this book about one of the most important but perhaps undervalued relationships in a person's life - friendship (and specifically close, deep friendship). The story of Aminatou and Ann's friendship weaves through broader research-based theories and concepts to create a realistic, interesting, and ultimately inspiring portrait of what it means to be a friend and how we can all be better friends.

I teach an Interpersonal Communication course, a part of which focuses specifically on friendship, and I will definitely be using some of the research outlined in this book when I refresh my curriculum. I also plan to add this book to the project reading list for my students, allowing them to earn credit for reading and reviewing the book as part of their coursework.

Thank you to the publisher for an advance copy!