I really wanted to like this one... as someone who has done a lot of dating in her adult life as well as has anxiety I was hopeful that this would be helpful. I will say, I've already read a lot of self help books so maybe if you're someone who is newer to your mental health + romantic life journeys you may find this book more helpful.

A book I wish had been around 5yrs ago, when I was 30 and all my friends started having babies! It's easy-to-read, relatable and funny.

An excellent read for any woman contemplating her life, her future, and the dreaded biological clock that accompanies it all.

As a 34 year old single woman, this book hit the nail right on the head for me in so many ways. The Panic Years have arrived, self. And now it's time to stay calm, and follow Nell Frizzell's lead. So much of the insecurity and stress that occurs during "the panic years" happens because we as women think we need to shoulder the burden alone. But here's the thing: you're not alone. I know, I know, we all like to think we're the main character in every story, the only person who's ever been alone and wondering if she's ever going to have children the old-fashioned way, or if she should start saving up and freezing her eggs now. But the world is full of women who are going through something similar, no matter where you're at physically, or emotionally. Raw, honest, and funny!

Thank you to Netgalley and Flatiron Books for advanced access to this title!

I did enjoy the book - Nell is a great writer and really objective, sympathetic and sweet. It is an interesting book covering a topic now talked about often. But at the end of it the issue is her actual story is pretty cliche sorry to say. her story is the normal common one - she gets married and has a child. So anyone looking for the non-standard story is going to be disappointed and let down.

Anyone else feel like they’re constantly just treading water, barely able to keep their shit together? I’ve been experiencing this phenomenon since 2009 with no end in sight.

In The Panic Years, @nellfrizzell examines this critical time that many women go through beginning in their late 20s and ending who the fuck knows when. Panic, doubt, questions...should I? Shouldn’t I? What if this happens? What if it doesn’t?

Told in stories about her own life experiences, Nell is able to craft a book that most women of a certain age (and probably some guys too!) can find relatable. At times, it was laugh out loud funny. Other times, it was like looking in a mirror.

The Panic Years - Book Review

Nell Frizzell's memoir, THE PANIC YEARS, looks at the stage of your life after adolescence and before menopause where the question gets louder and louder - where or not to have a baby. For some the answer is clear but for others it can spark a personal crisis. Nell, after a break-up knows she wants to have a baby but isn't where she wants to be in life, and the reader follows her journey which is raw, witty and honest as she delves into the way love, money, home, jobs and relationships can shape the answer to this big question.
This book is excellent and makes you feel like you're not alone. I don't think we talk much about people who want to have children but are not yet in the situation they want to be so they can have a child and hopefully this book will start getting people talking.

Thank you to @netgalley for the review copy.

Published by @flatiron_books in the US and Transworld @penguinukbooks

I initially thought this was a self-help book (maybe it's the cover?) but reader be warned - it's not. This is a memoir accounting the author's experiences in what she deems The Flux/The Panic Years (I am still uncertain why we switch between these terms - aren't they the same thing?). She defines these years as the period between a woman's late twenties and late thirties when she has to make some big decisions. Do I want kids? What would it mean for me to have or not have them? If I do want them, when do I want them? With whom? And allllllll the other uncertainties, angst and stress that comes with these choices.

There are things I enjoyed about this - specifically Frizzell's descriptions ("... the sky like a shared towel in a student bathroom: gray, mottled and damp") and her unflinching honesty about pregnancy and motherhood. Reading her chapter on giving birth, I realized that I have never read anything this honest and graphic? Albeit I haven't searched for that info, but nothing I've read in the past has gone into as much detail as she does. I also enjoyed her commentary societal views of motherhood and pregnancy. For example:
- "Fertility is such a difficult feminist issue because our biology hasn't caught up with our politics" - a fantastic quote that dives into the timing of fertility (i.e. many women are rising in their careers when they must make a decision to have a family before the biological timer ticks down).
- We all know it takes two-to-tango when it comes to getting pregnant, yet the burden of contraception and pregnancy rests solely on women (and this is embedded in our cultural and medical foundations).

These things being said, I also had some issues. Firstly, and a big problem with the book, was that it dragged for me - so much so that I didn't want to pick it up again after reading the first few chapters. When I finally did (in order to finish this review), it felt like such a slog until ~2/3 in, when Frizzle begins to try for a child. Secondly, the author talks about a lot of studies and data, but none of it is cited (maybe this is because I had an ARC? I hope that's the reason why). Thirdly, it felt uncomfortable to hear her talk about how she had to convince and prod and push her boyfriend to agree to have a child with her. I get that she's probably trying to convey her honest experiences - but it sure seems like he never wanted a kid.

Overall, I am glad I read this, although I don't know if it helped at all with my own personal navigation of The Panic Years. Frizzell writes that she always knew she wanted children, so this really deals less with her own personal decision of YES/NO and more-so how society/others view her choice, and her experiences living with her choice. If anything, it's reassuring to get inside the mind of somebody that also feels confused and concerned, but don't expect to find any of your own personal answers here.

I voluntarily obtained a digital version of this book free from Netgalley and Flatiron Books in exchange for an honest review!

Frizzell defines "The Panic Years" as the years during a woman's life where the future feels more immediate, time becomes against you due to biology and the pressures of what a woman's life should be: being in your thirties and the anxiety that comes with wanting children as a single, "older" woman. Frizzell's driving theme is motherhood and her want for a child. She loosely explores child care, commitment, heartbreak, dating, and sex.

Frizzell's The Panic Years certainly has heart and honestly explores "The Panic Years", but is definitely not the nuanced exploration that I expect from writers today when discussing these topics. For instance, the unjust cost of childcare for working mothers/families is briefly explored, but it comes off as only complaining and as a barely formed argument. Random statistics are thrown in to strengthen arguments which feel off and out-of-place for the tone. Also, can we please eliminate the "imaging my funeral" narrative that author's consistently think is new and inventive?

This book is trying to be relatable--which it certainly is--and will undoubtedly connect to many women. However, it's trying to do too much and the writing isn't strong enough to do much in the end other than to be relatable. I did enjoy the (briefly explored) positive experience with therapy and when Frizzell dived into more nuanced arguments surrounding the anxiety women feel in relation to capitalism and patriarchy when their bodies may "fail" them and wish ideas like this were more center stage.

I will recommend this to readers who enjoyed Dolly Alderton and Sarah Wilson and those wanting a "baby feminism" look into a very specific type of privileged story. However, I'm more confident in recommending authors like Jia Tolentino Ariel Levy, and Leslie Jamison on topics Frizzell explores.

Thank you for early sight of this book, which I’d heard a lot about from social media.
I read the Panic Years in one day, and found it to be to be more far charming and candid than most books of this sort. It tackles interesting and important issues with humour, without slipping into ‘chatty’ bad writing.
The sections on environmental and contraceptive concerns were particularly welcome, and the stats littered throughout the book were new to me and fascinating. The only thing I wished was different about this book is the fact that it didn’t discuss at all having children with a partner who already has children, which is increasingly common and under-represented in books. It would also have been nice if adoption was given as much space as IVF.
That said this is a very good book and should be required reading for all men in their twenties!
I have posted about this book on Instagram and Twitter, and I have reviewed on the Waterstones website.

Frizzell entertains readers with a graphic account of her years of angst and anguish between 28-33. She contemplated having a baby, made changes in her career and relationships. The author is very blunt and forthright with her emotions and decisions. She is an entertaining writer. I think this book will resonate with many women in the same age range regarding life changing decisions. To have or not have a child, especially as a woman enters her 30s is accompanied with many emotions. It’s a good book for women to read to know they are not alone.

I really enjoyed reading this and felt very seen by parts of it--I'm sure other readers will, too. The blend of research with personal stories and anecdotes worked really well.

The "Panic Years" is Nell Frizzell's term for the stage in a woman's life where she decides whether or not to have a baby, with whom, and when the time might be right. The reader sees the panic years through Frizzell's own journey from unencumbered singledom to first-time motherhood. Frizzell is honest, funny, and self-deprecating in detailing her panic years, and I appreciated her candor.

As a 30-year old married woman with no children, I definitely fit the target audience for this book. I enjoyed reading about Frizzell's struggles to find herself and a supportive partner and to decide what she wanted from life. Unfortunately, the book drags a bit through the single years - the repeated discussion of insecurity and the ticking clock gets repetitive, and Frizzell can be a bit long-winded. Her writing really started to shine for me when she got to her labor and postpartum life, as well as the challenges that NHS cuts have forced upon women in the UK.

Thank you to Flatiron Books for providing an ARC on NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

The topic of the “panic” about having time to have children is actually really interesting. I can’t remember reading a book on this before, but I am definitely in the target demographic. The author’s anecdotes coupled with statistics made for an interesting read but it was long and drawn out.